I.dL gff 0 0 0 2B - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, January 13, 2005 The Michigan Dail) Random takes Marlin over Zeus tableof 'contents you callthat abageljwith Adam Rottenberg SPYING A SUCCESSFUL RETURN By Evan McGarvey Daily Arts Writer Random: Hello? The Michigan Daily: Hey! I've got fantastic news. You've been selected to do the Random Student Interview for The Michigan Daily Weekend Maga- zine. R: Are you serious? TMD: Yeah! You got like five min- utes or what? R: Yeah, I do. TMD: Fantastic. So how's it going? R: It's going great. TMD: Classes? How are they treat- ing you? What year are you?' R: I'm a sophomore. TMD: Oh, dazzling. So did you go to the Rose Bowl or watch it at all? R: I watched it on TV. I was really sad that Michigan lost. TMD: Why were you sad? R: Because I thought we should have won and we played really well until the end. TMD: But we lost. R: I know we lost. TMD: So wasn't that whole playing well thing more of a spectacular fail- ure? R: I guess. TMD: Ok, fair enough. So how do you feel about people who scream in the cafeteria? R: Like in college or in high school? TMD: We're looking for a college kid. Like have you ever seen any awk- ward kids in West Quad screaming Lil' Jon catchphrases at the top of his lungs? R: Um...no. TMD: Well, you should make an appointment to hang out there. It's pretty sweet. So Michael Phelps: Huge-eared freak with a goofy smile or a potential beer pong partner? You choose. R: Potential beer pong partner. TMD: Do you think he'd use those long freakish arms to help you win or do you think his gold medals would accidentally knock over all the cups, causing a party foul? R: I think he'd help me win by chug- ging all the beer. I think he'd be really good, considering the DUI and all that. TMD: That's an excellent point. He does enjoy the drink. So who's hotter: Jessica Alba or Gertrude Stein? R: I don't know who Gertrude Stein is? TMD: She's like one of the most famous modernist poets ever. She's really hot. R: I have no idea who that is. TMD: You know poetry? Like peo- ple write things in verse? R: I'm an engineer. TMD: So I guess letters aren't really your friend. R: No, they are. I'm in English, too. TMD: Oh, that's good. So what's your favorite position? R: Excuse me? TMD: Favorite position. R: Like ... in sports? TMD: Just favorite position. R: I don't know. I played center field all throughout high school. TMD: What sport? R: Softball. TMD: That's just super. What was your batting average? R: Somewhere around .300. TMD: Wow, you'd be in the Hall of Fame. R: I was OK. TMD: Did you hear about the orang- utan that was loose in Angell Hall? R: No, I didn't. That's cool though. TMD: I was talking to some News kids and they said there was a physi- cal anthropology professor and he was taking down some samples and he had an orangutan in a cage and it broke out of his car and like ran into Angell Hall. So now professors are telling people not to eat any bananas or pungent fruit because the orangutan is loose in the heat vents, and, if it smells the fruit, it might drop out of the vent and possibly get into all these mischievous adven- tures and take your banana. R: Haha, that's really funny. TMD: Do you think you're going to rearrange your schedule based on this loose orangutan? R: I'd like to see it, but I don't have any classes on Central Campus. TMD: If you could give the orang- utan a name, what would it be? R: Um ... I'd call it Orange. TMD: Orange? Wow, you are an engineer. Not a lot of creativity. R: Because of like orange ... orang- utan. TMD: Shouldn't you be like build- ing a bridge or something? R: Well, I could build a device to find the orangutan. TMD: Whoa! Why don't you get right on that? R: Maybe I should. TMD: So who's your favorite Greco- Roman deity? R: Greco-Roman what? TMD: Deity. It's also a god. They're a level above humans and usually have omnipotent powers. R: Oh. Does it have to be a guy or a girl? Because I always say Zeus. TMD: No, that's great. So who do you think would win in a fight: Marlin Jackson or Zeus? R: Marlin Jackson because he goes to Michigan. TMD: But Zeus throws lightning bolts and he's the father of all the gods. R: If he started throwing lightning bolts then it would be close, but I'd still say Marlin Jackson. TMD: Sound like you're really happy to go here. R: I do. I love it here. I'm in the marching band, too. TMD: That's fantastic. So's my roommate. You guys should go out some time. He's tall and awkward and he wears glasses and he doesn't get out a lot. That's pretty unique in the march- ing band, right? R: Yeah... TMD: OK, what's cooler: Ugg boots or porn? R: Ugg boots? TMD: Why? R: Because I like to wear Ugg boots. TMD: So you're not into wearing porn? R: Haha, no. TMD: Are Uggs the new porn? R: No, I'm happy when I wear them. TMD: That's fantastic. So what would you do if your dad said some- thing that was really sexually charged, like if he said he was going to "skeet, skeet" over dinner. Would you correct him or just grimace and let it slide? R: I don't know. I think I would probably let it slide. TMD: OK, last question. Give me a cheap, low-budget porn scenario that's completely unique to the University of Michigan - like could happen any- where on campus. Now I don't want you to be foul - this is a family paper. I just want the lead-up. R: Hmmm ... well, I really want to meet Michael Phelps, and I'd like to meet the quarterback ... Chad Henne, so I think it would be a girl's fantasy to be with both of them at the same time on the football field. TMD: Well, all I have to say to that is "Go Blue!" So as a joke, do you think people call Chad Henne "Chad Penne" and then call him "Pasta Boy?" R: No, that's not that funny. TMD: Do you think they might call him Chad Penne and then told him to put some marinara sauce on that? That's a pretty good comeback, right? R: Haha, I think that's really nerdy. TMD: My mom said it was cool! R: Sure. TMD: Well, you're clearly too cool for me. Thanks for doing this. Look for it in Weekend Magazine. R: OK, thank you. TMD: Bye. 3B 4B 5B 6B 7B 8B 9B 1C3 11B 12B Bob Hunt: The '24' gauntlet WCBN uses the power of the airwaves WOLV-TV brings fun to the small screen Lessons Learned Ann Arbor's for- gotten museumE Bell Tower rings in time at the 'U' Adam Burns: It's OK to ignore you The Weekend List Work gives Art students freedom of expression Weekend Entertainment with Adam Rottenberg Alien vs. Predator WEEKEND BOX OFFICE Gross in millions of dollars 1. Meet the Fockers (28.4) - Barbra Streisand plays ... wait for it ... wait for it ... the motherfocker. 2. White Noise (24.1) - Looks like Michael Keaton didn't fall off the face of the earth after all. 3. The Aviator (7.49) - Mr. Burns was a much better Howard Hughes than Leonardo DiCaprio. 4. Lemony Snicket's a Series of Unfortunate Events (7.43) - Don't blame Jim Carrey - you'd be in this too if you were offered $20 million. 5. Fat Albert (5.7) - Since when was Albert Brooks ever obese? 6. Ocean's Twelve (5.3) - There once was a time when Steven Soderbergh made good movies. If you don't believe us, we're sure it was a cornerstone on "I Love the '90s." 7. Spanglish (4.25) - An Adam Sandler movie without Rob Schneider - well, there's a first time for everything. 8. National Treasure (4.2) - Apparently, the sequel will focus on stealing Monica's stained dress. 9. The Phantom of the Opera (3.4) - Featuring such megastars as that Scottish dude from the "Tomb Raider" sequel. 10. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2.7) - You know it's Oscar season when Bill Murray plays another depressed, middle-aged guy looking for redemption. eloe bc yduey in adcrtia acvlaint. CwMfiat- Intewek eading up'ta the pe ......... .. . .............g. - P r..... Brito. 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Additionally, the no rerun but ence those promos began their bad."According to Jhmn" demon- strategy plays into the new ways constara barrage on audiences, I .strative of the iietwork at its worst, that viewers watch television. was back on the banwagon, And 1 ABC.w.s...dire raits and kept In the age of TiVo and .TV .. was not disappointed. "Alias" alive because it was the 'DV9D, serialized shows are easier As a fan of "Alias," a show that sole source of critical praise for the to follow than ever (ask any of requires fervent viewing, I was alphabet. ''."my friends how I feel about iVe, left with a slimmer fall TV sched- 'With Alias" off iheair, ABC and they will probably warn you nle than usual when ABC decided put its promotional force behind that it may ause me to rave for to hold back the new season until two equally captivating serial dra- hours t But the greatest asset of midseason (Fox adopted a similar mas: "Desperate Housewives" and, these new technologies is that it strategy for "24.7 another serial- more importantly, the ,.J. A brams makes it nearly impossible to miss ized, espionage -themed drania) creation."Losu." Whereas "Alias" out on showis. With the extra time By saving the series premiere until struggled out of the gates, "House- -between seasons, tAlias's" third January, the network would be able wives".thrived in ihsold thueslot season hit the market before the to run new episodes for the rest of and "Lost" became a water cooler new season launched. I'm sure the the season without having to air a sensation. marketing blitz, cushy time slot single repeat. When it became apparent that and time4y UV~s led to the huge I understood the move hut was the series was losing its timeslot premiere ratings, but the view- still disappointed. One' of my to."Housewives," she, spot after ers need to stay for the long run favorite shows was MIA for most "Lost" became the most obvious on this captivating and intriguing of the year and there w asn't much place for the spy thriller to call its series to keep it on the air. It's on the air to fill the void. Yet, in~ new home. Since Abrams now had good to have 'tAtia?' back. retrospect, the networkimposedi a legitimate hit in place, 'Alias"