4- The Michigan Daily - Wednesday, April 13, 2005 O PIN ION
NfOTBLEARTIST UNKNOWN urv wOmx
- QleJA ON . ESCKSUHAEL M OMIN
JASON Z.nPESICK SAM SINGER ALISON Go SAM BUTLER, OUR PROLIFIC CARTOONIST, IS
Editor in Chief Editorial Page Editors Managing Editor
Editral Pge EdiD M N G D B S U E T Tgo t h G R A D U A TIN G . TH IN K Y O U CA N FILL H IS SH O ES?
EDITED AND MANAGED BY STUDENTS AT tte
THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SINCE 1890 distinct feeling
420 MAYNARD STREET she'd have loved IT WOULDN'T BE HARD.
ANN ARBOR, MI 48109 to have seen HE'S ONLY 5'S"
E-MAIL OPINION@MICHIGANDAILY.COM IF
- Peter Stringfellow, owner of a glitzy Lon- YOU'RE INTERESTED IN DRAWING POLITICAL
,- .don strip club that played host to former
1 1i SS British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, CARTOONS STARTING THIS FALL.
commenting on whether Thatcher would
S V C g } s ; have wanted to see the strippers, as reported
yesterday by Agence France Presse.
efore the first polio vaccine than 1,000 people in six African and
was introduced SO years ago, Asian nations were infected with h ar oft ec l in
Sdebilitating and potentially polio in 2004 While the eradication The art of the masturbatory column
a y disease struck thousands of of polio from the Western Hemi-
American children and adults each sphere, announced in 1994, marks JORDAN SCHRADER IOT H RN TTEE
year.Dveloped by Jonas Salk and a great med icalachievement, other
tested at the University, the miracle nations must not be forgotten. The ack when I edited to reminisce on their favorite memories from acknowledge John Lowe's enormous generos-
vaccine brought about the end of polio Global Polio Eradication L nitia this newspaper, the past four years, as if these scrapbook leaves ity with his most precious asset, his time. I'd
in the United States. The announce- tive, sponsored by the World Health I yelled a lot. possessed any significance to the people who thank Jason Z. Pesick for stepping up when he
m ent of this vacce as "safe, effective Organzation, haslset 2005 as a tet.When I read those Daily didn't experience them first-hand. That would was needed most, for achieving what I didn't
and potent'R excited the nation with year for theworldwideeradicationo..pages at 2 a.m., noth- be like me telling readers about the powerful even conceive and for adding the Z. Props
the promise of protecting current a.d polio, but this goal may be thwarted* ing helped me deal with experience of walking for the first time into would go out to others with names foreign
f~ture generations from the disease. by finanialdifficu.Ities grammatical errors and the Daily's newsroom, less than 12 hours after to readers: Sprow Filice, Johnson, Bremmer,
Polio jomiedRsml .oxasavaccination The work of.Salkand his.cOl-.misleading headlines bet- the World Trade Center fell. For the first time Hunt, McCormack, Ding, Berkowitz, Adams,
success story,.anddthe.Icesfulntest leagues was monumental and pushed..ter than a good rant. But I that day, I felt an emotion other than confu- Rottenberg, Offen.
led to a global movement to eradicate the Uiversity forward as a leader reserved the full extent of sion and loss as I saw how the journalists there Some goodbye columnists manage to avoid
t disease. The University has rea- in medical research. The United my vocal chords for the nights when I was pre- were reacting to the catastrophe with a single- these blatant forms of masturbatory journalism
son. tobeproud in remembering this States currently.f.es ,wdom estic.sented with a column about a columnist. minded desire to give students some informa- while sliding into a more subtle conceit. As if
breakthrough and must contue to and international challenges to pub Not a columnist who describes his own tion that would help them make sense of their giving a commencement address, they spout
promote scientific research withthe lic health, like cancer and the glob- experiences to illustrate a broader point, but changed world. I started falling in love with the life lessons they've learned during college.
same spirit that drove Salk to success. al AIDS epidemic, which must be one who muses about his life for its own sake, the Daily that day. But I don't see why readers For example, if I were writing one of those col-
.Salk's ~vaccine arrived when the met with the.am. gr as thefight with the assumption that his readers somehow would care about that. umns, my advice for those who remain at the
polio threat had thoroughly pene- against polio 5) years ago. The Uni care. This distasteful practice, more LiveJour- Mentioning this anecdote would lead me University would include:
trated America, affectig more than versity has the opportunity to greatly nal than journalism, is called the masturba- to thank Zac Peskowitz, whose determination Pick a student group that sounds interest-
20,000 people w.ith the paralyzing contribute to these efforts, and the tory column. It appears only under the names to venture over to the Daily that day made me ing and join it. If you believe in its mission,
strain of polo annually, according to Life Sciences at Michigan program of the most egocentric columnists for most of do likewise. This is another popular section of immerse yourself. Make this pursuit the center
the Centers for Disease Control. In represents the potential to make a the year, but during April. this self-indulgent the masturbatory column: the thank-you cata- of your life. Spend every day doing it. Make
one of the largest trialsin US. histo-difference inthe lives of millions. writing spreads like pinkeye through the Daily log. For this reason alone it's a good thing I'm friends there. Make enemies there. Work tire-
ry, Salk tested his vaccine on 1.8 mil- The University should ensure that staff. For this is the season of the senior good- eschewing the goodbye column. Who would I lessly for the group until it becomes better than
ion children to ensure its safety and its Life Sciences at Michigan pro- bye column. pick to thank? when you arrived. Find people crazier and
effectiveness. Withi 10 years of the gram, strengthened by the recently- I vowed not to produce one of these. Perhaps the inspiring editors of my fresh- smarter than you who will do your job when
vaccie's introductionthenumberofcompleted Life Science institute, is So what am I going to write about this week? man year whom I idolized for setting a stan- you leave.
cases in the United States dropped to effective in facilitating promising There's not much happening around campus dard that I would never quite surpass? Or Read a newspaper every day. Not just to
just more than 100 annually, research initiatives. In commemo that I know of. Then again, my interactions Shabina, Kylene, Jen and C. Price, whom I improve my job prospects, though I thank you
Today, polio has been completely rating the 50th anniversary of Salk's with campus in the past few weeks have been met every Sunday amid hangovers and paper for that, but because it will equip you to save
eradicated in most parts of the world. achievement, the University must limited to hitting the bars and house parties plates to start up another week of grueling the world. Don't just read it; complain about
Large-scaleefforts havedras tically. Lokto the futureto'estab'ishitsrole with my housemates, Evan, Steve, Boyd, Fish- hours - all made worthwhile every time an it. Complain about poor writing, sensational
reduced the occurrence of polio, as a leading innovator of life science er, Ben and Russ. illuminating piece of writing would arrive on headlines, shallow stories, ethical lapses, the
but the fight is far from over - more research and technologies. That reminds me. One irritating thing these our desk bearing a Ladika byline or a Kaplan liberal media, the corporate media, the diffi-
~ goodbye columnists do is slip in a mention of or a Kraack. I would have to thank even more culty of the crossword puzzle.
their friends, clearly with no purpose apart people who readers don't give a damn about. Open your eyes, look around campus and
from fulfilling a promise to print their names. I wouldn't be able to leave out Jon Schwartz realize how lucky you are. Thank someone.
Drives me nuts. and Louie Meizlish, who taught a nightly
And how masturbatory is this: Some of these clinic on leadership. Or Alison Go, a friend Schrader can be reached at
Nn uc ssch s O h s ta senior columnists actually use their final space and confidant during my hardest year. I'd email@example.com.
Sichiganlawmakers arenow ther loosening concealed wepsLETTERS To THE EDITOR
Jj~~ hoding hearings with gun regulations. .waosT H
owners across the state over Just as people argued that concealed
whether to expand concealed weap- weapons would help prevent violence, t d s ys I have to wonder what your newspaper hoped t jy id Dto
ons privileges to "safe areas," such they are now arguing that guns should as to accomplish by posting a front-page headline C
as schools, hospitals and churches. be aowed schools to help prev perpetuating a stereotype about an entire com
Currently, Michigan law forbids all and stop school shootings. In light of munity of diverse Michigan students, followed
individuals - even those with con- the recent tragedy in Minnesota; this To TE DAUy: by an article that in its entirety doesn't appear to To THE DAILY:
cealed weapons permits - from argument carries emotional weight I would just like to thank the Daily for piss- do anything except further perpetuate other ste- In my first three years as a student on this
taking guns into those areaswhere However, allowing teachers to attend ing off sorority girls and frat boys alike. As I was reotypes. campus, I remember the Daily offering a
guns have no logical role. If the state class armed could exacerbate the prob sitting in class today, I heard the incessant whin- I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that the bipartisan, unbiased viewpoint on the daily
Legislature decides to reverse the lem. Onone hand,.astudentwhoman- ing of a sorority girl complaining about the Daily Daily in its unchallenged "editorial freedom" events occurring on campus. I am a senior
ban op concealed weapons in safe ages to capture a teacher's concealed putting the ATO story on its front page (Campus would so blatantly position headlines to reflect who is not affiliated with the Greek system,
zones, it risks reinforcing a culture weapon would easily be able to go on chapter of ATO closed, 04/1212005, ATO charter negative bias of the Greek system; it's been hap- however, I cannot help but feel as though any
of violence and embarking on a slip, a rampage, On the other; the already suspended, 04/1112005). As the campus newspa- pening a-few times a week recently. I'm not sur- diversity of opinion in articles concerning
nerv slon e ino 1v te it xtremedfea o Iolenceing h per, there is nothing wrong with placing this story prised that The Michigan Daily has chosen to the Greek system has been replaced with the
ron the ront page, as it is the most signficant and blanket the entire Greek community with a term opinions of a few.
they do not belong. nottrained serty pr ofessiona -t interesting article for the University's students. such as homophobia. I'm not even surprised that The most glaring example of this came in
Current Michigan law requires a use lethal force in situations where it is Let's face it, the majority of the student body actu- the article seems to be void of any actual inves- the front-page article titled Greeks homophobic,
concealed weapons owner to be 21 neither necessary nor appropriate. ally does care more about ATO closing than down tigative reporting or journalistic merit. I am sur- LGBT say (04/12/2005). Here was an article on
years of age, be free from conviction.Theram ifications of a student's than about the Mott donation (Mott receives $25m prised however that time and time again articles activities held by the Greek community in order
for a felony or misdemeanor and have actions being misconstrued and a gift,04/1/2005). So despite the several complaints are printed so closely along the lines of libel that to raise awareness of the gay, lesbian, bisexual
of mental illness. When the teacher exercising excessive force can- you may receive, I just wanted to thank you for nobody has ever stopped to question the fact and transgender community and awareness of
Shsoress keeping us all informed about the shortcomings of there is a letter to the editor in almost every issue perceived homophobia by the Greek system.
argument in favor of concealed. weap- sary. death, one mistake would shatter the Greek System ... and for pissing off the ugly addressing an apparent bias in any article regard- Nowhere in the article is there any evidence
ons was that they contributed to per- cofidence on both ides of the educa - sorority girls in my classes. ing the Greek system (or any other article not to show the Greek system as homophobic, or
sonal safety. Applicants for a general tional system - students would fear Christy Connelly copied verbatim from The Associated Press). to even show that the LGBT community says
permit had to indicate that they needed their teachers, and teachers would sif- LSA freshman Particularly relevant to this situation is a they are, only that there is a societal perception
ra ccaew p .H eeTAng fefrmb aked e in fmquote attributed to Oscar Wilde - "There is which they are fighting against. In return for
a toncea eaon . Hoea ve, csatud.fernts, blanet cndenatonfomunty much to be said in favor of modern journalism. their efforts to raise awareness, they earn the
stthelw oe tm hv iolvdsut, prets and the communty. L'uCyll ek
t e ma n I f hdn re - , 1eBy giving us the opinions of the uneducated, headline "Greeks homophobic.
ger nedtore ien ra sonfo whon tcerd aodt schinstaetys he 9 nlu ieaaing it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the I understand that people have negative opin-
her wnte a coeald eaon-andshould fowy n c usned bo delop safe, toey Tcommunity." Thank you, Michigan Daily, for ions of the Greek system, but to use your power
he latt proposed easion ofcn- erash learong evlom a snot, ton STotyE DAi all the opinions of your journalism club, and for of influence over thousands of people to com-
let ppo sd nsot n at ing e i e Stereotyping is a bad thing. This is generally telling the rest of the student body what to think pletely mislead the public and negatively por-
.oaledceas ubigsafty Be nd .Agdatin y wthl o ud rsomething that we are taught both in school and and who to fear - the "hyper-masculine and tray a large body of students with unfounded
toices uh aey yepn- Adtoalti a ol raeculturally and can be said to apply fairly equally hyper-feminine." headlines is immoral.
ing this law - originallydesign-ed toa slippery slope that could eadtotheul to whatever issue at hand. In response to the arti Bill Kraus Nick Stadts
make people feelmore secure -.ro- legalization of concealed weapons in cle Greeks homophobic, LBGT say (04122005), LSA senior LSA senior
ponents of the bill are subtly and det- other safe, formerly outlawed areas.
rimentally labeling schools, hospitals Guns are currently banned on airlin-
and churches as unsaf ers because a history of armed hijack- VIEW POINT
Indeed, there is a decent chance that ings has led many to believe that guns
this legislation would actually make make air travel unsafe. However, if It's not over yet ...
schools, churches and hospitals less we accept the arguments in favor of
safe by contributing to a culture of more lax concealed weapons laws,
fea. Advocates of concealed weapons the possibility exists that civilians BY EMILY BEAM several years later, was the finl step that truly be protected from this incurable disease with a
argue that crimials will be deterred could be allowed to carry weapons permitted the movement to wipe polio out simple vaccination.
from committing crimes because they onto commercial flights at somepoint As with all scientific achievements, it is easy completely, but being a live-virus vaccine, Aside from financial obstacles, fear of vac-
fear potential victimswillbe armed. in the future. to glorify the successes of the past once his- it possessed a small risk of infection. In the cines has been cited as a primary reason for the
thret tht oonenial ed ap ,th Tould s n we tory has glossed over the difficulties encoun- decades after polio was officially eradicated infection of 800 Nigerian children with polio
lhea t paeppieo tis inmed outh elawx M-higas concealed weap htered along the way. While Jonas Salk's polio in the United States, anywhere from eight to in 2004. Islamic officials in the state of Kano,
erade mnopre- tertihongs hi tht o lae in schoel chuc s orha- vaccine was undoubtedly a major achievement 10 children were infected annually with polio for instance, banned vaccinations in early
exaemralterthcaios.dThinhredtn pital.cLeishorsust hrecoze t hes- in the medical arena, significantly contributing until five years ago, when the Center for Dis- March 2004, declaring them part of a U.S. plot
quearer of sc hel n0osta cofied ial s.eqen s wa e coneale to the end of polio in most parts of the world, ease Control replaced the oral vaccine with a to sterilize Muslims. These fears endangered
.r.fs.san.spts .s ..s.ee f wwe cannot forget the past and present difficul- killed-virus, injected vaccine. the lives of thousands of children, and further