4 - The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, March 8, 2005 OPINION 't firtdi 41r Ob ALEXANDER HONKALA R-.,iru-) Cj.-L1*7kfN,,)CKF r' JASON Z. PESICK Editor in Chief SUHAEL MOMIN SAM SINGER Editorial Page Editors AuSON GO Managing Editor EDITED AND MANAGED BY STUDENTS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SINCE 1890 420 MAYNARD STREET ANN ARBOR, MI 48109 tothedaily@michigandaily.com NOTABLE QUOTABLE '' We could have switched places, each getting half a night on the bed, but he deferred to me. - Former President George H.W. Bush, commenting on former President Bill Clinton's gesture offering him the single bed on a plane ride during their tsunami relief tour, as reported yesterday by Newsweek. i ยง&C ANI A oCLAUS"' 6 ~aka K m rA 6 d e e Jumping the gun on democratization DANIEL ADAMS HR SESHOES AND HAND GRENADES week ago, I left for Jamaica, ready for a week of warm water and sun- shine. I came back Saturday tanned and rested, ready to resume my role in the thinking, working world. Apparently, I picked a bad week to opt out of the daily news. Syria announced that it would be gradually pulling its forces out of Lebanon, ending 15 years of occupation. There are public demonstrations in the streets of Beirut. And Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak announced last Saturday that he would finally cede to the nation's first contested election in modern history. We'd do well to examine these events critically. These announcements, along with the recent elections in Afghanistan, Iraq and Saudi Arabia, should give us hope of a democratic Middle East in the very near future. This hope, however, should be tempered with the knowledge that, on the ground, little has changed from a week before. Though it has promised withdraw- al, Syria continues to occupy Lebanon, and will likely continue to exert great influence over its politics even after its forces are removed. In Egypt, the promise of a contested election is offset by a likely Mubarak victory, continuing his 25 reign at the helm of the Egyptian government. Indeed, these are the whispers of democ- ratization - encouraging changes in the winds that may signal better times for a place that for so long has been politically repressive and economically stagnant. An overzealous few, however, have jumped the gun on the issue, proclaiming these events to be the birth of Middle East democratization. Charles Krauthammer of The Washington Post wrote last Friday, "We are at the dawn of a glorious, deli- cate, revolutionary moment in the Middle East. It was triggered by the invasion of Iraq, the overthrow of Saddam Hussein and televised images of 8 million Iraqis voting in a free election." Last Thursday, Max Boot of The Los Angeles Times tri- umphantly asked "Well, who's the simple- ton now? Those who dreamed of spreading democracy to the Arabs or those who denied that it could ever happen?" Aren't we getting a bit ahead of our- selves, boys? Thus far, very little has actually happened on the ground. Prom- ises in Lebanon and Egypt are nothing more than talk. Encouraging talk, but talk nonetheless. Meanwhile, United States troops are still fighting and dying in Iraq, tied down by an insurgency that few in the Bush Administration seemed prepared to accept or handle. There is no timetable for their removal. The trend lines may indeed be shift- ing in the Middle East, but so long as the despots remain in power, so long as the U.S. remains in bed with the worst of them, and so long as our policies continue to be viewed with resentment by the Arab street, then I'll continue to be skeptical. We all should be skeptical. Skeptical that, if this is indeed revo- lution paid for with the U.S. invasion of Iraq, the results of the aforementioned revolution will ultimately make America safer. Democratic rule in the region won't erase the poverty, disillusionment, and angst that run rampant throughout the Arab world. It won't by itself stop global terrorism. As University Professor Juan Cole commented on his website yester- day, "There is no guarantee that a more democratic Iraq, Egypt or Lebanon will produce less terrorism." But back to Boot's question, who is the simpleton? In short, it's still the pro-war Right. They got the weapons wrong. They got the insurgency wrong. And even if these fledgling movements do indeed lead to a democratic Middle East, we should be wary of giving too much credit to the Bush administration. They sold the war in Iraq on the basis of national security and weapons of mass destruction - not on producing a ripple effect throughout the Arab world. If they had other intentions, then these needed to be more clearly tele- graphed to the American people and to the world. Now, with no weapons and mount- ing U.S. casualties, Arab democratization should only be treated as a fortunate by- product of the war in Iraq. Regardless, it's not my turn to eat crow - not yet, anyway. 4 Adams can be reached at dnadams@umich.edu. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR PIRGIM would serve the public interest of the student body To THE DAILY: In response to the article (Public inter- est group's hopes for student chapter, 03/07/2005), I wish to explain why the Michigan Student Assembly should estab- lish a Public Interest Research Group in Michigan chapter at the University. I became involved with Students for PIR- GIM several months ago and have been thoroughly impressed with the group's commitment to student interests. The group is one of the most hard-working and disciplined that I have had a chance to work with. The enthusiasm that res- onates through this group reminds me daily that student activism can be a pow- erful and persuasive voice on a wide array of issues. Already, I have seen us make great steps forward with campaigns on tenants' rights and textbook costs. Both of these issues are of great concern to students because such large amounts of our expenses come from these sources. The work I have done with Students for PIRGIM has been inspiring and reward- ing and would be greatly enriched by the ability to hire a full-time organizer to help us coordinate our campaigns. However, it is disappointing that PIR- GIM's attempt to receive MSA funding has been postponed by what the article referred to as a "controversy." The injunc- tion that has postponed the MSA vote is nothing but an attempt to bog the group in bureaucratic machinery. While I am sure that Students for PIRGIM will overcome his hurdle, it is a needless step. We have made clear that we will in no way endan- ger MSA's tax exempt status because we will be of the same status as MSA. It is my hope that Students for PIRGIM will be able to get funding from MSA to enhance the already stellar work that is does for students. Adam Paul LSA freshman The letter writer is a member of Students for PIRGIM. at satire was entirely lacking in humor, the more pressing concern is the ways in which it isn't a satire at all. Satire exists some-n where between the author and the audience; it is the audience's awareness of the author's distance from the opinions he is present- ing that allows for the humor to surface. The simple fact that Hoard doesn't believe what he is saying does not make his article a satire. He's just playing the part of the stereotypical bigot, which may be hilarious to him because he knows this is exactly the opposite of what he really believes. But it's clear his readers don't realize it's all an act. In fact, Hoard's authority as an editorialist depends on his readers' accepting his opin- ions instead of questioning their sincerity. He may be so egotistical as to believe the Daily readers are keeping track of Hoard's personal politics, but I'd bet you a wooden nickel they aren't. They, like I, probably just stumbled over the article on their way to the crossword. The point of satire is to expose the falla- cy in your opponent's argument by voicing the argument in such a way as to make its faults apparent, or taking the position to such an extreme as to show its disastrous consequences. Merely reprinting your opponent's argument verbatim doesn't accomplish this, as the November election made obvious, many people wholeheart- edly believe what Hoard finds so ridicu- lous. There are no clues within the article that would suggest it is anything but the opinion of a severely religious conser- vative. (His supposedly witty exaggera- tions, comparing homosexuals to lepers and saying homosexuality started in 1967, are not that far removed from what many homophobes actually believe). If readers think that the author truly believes all the opinions he is spouting, then they have no reason to look for the ways in which he is sabotaging the argument. I could stand on the Diag and scream Nazi rhetoric from the top of my lungs, and a passersby would have no reason to think I was being ironic or witty - just a raving, bigoted lunatic. Hoard never came within a mile of sat- ire in this article. I'd suggest you use the space for his next article for a few 'extra Crime Notes (which are, in my opinion, beautiful gems of understated comedy). Weain Ganz piece of satire? The reaction to Hoard's column (How the homosexuals stole my child's innocence, 05/24/2005), (at least what was represented in today's Letters to the Editor and Online Feedback) is incomprehensible. As someone who is definitely to the political right of Hoard (although not .as far right as his "alter-ego"), I have to sit back and laugh as self-anointed liber- als and advocates for gay rights line up to shred "one-of-their-own" for taking a novel approach to confronting the homophobia that is rampant in parts of the U.S. What better way to show these people how ridic- ulous their viewpoint on homosexuals is than by putting the core of their misguided "moral" system in print for all to see? To the people who thought Hoard was being serious, please take some courses on critical reading or polemic debate. If this is too much work or beyond yourcapabilities, please feel free to join your lost brethren in East Lansing. To those who understood it was satirical but- were still offended, I would suggest weighing your public action in defense of homosexuality against Hoard's. If you are the bigger advocate feel free to castigate, although I doubt this is the case. And where were you two weeks ago for Hoard's satirical column on censorship and Janet Jackson's nipple (The Superbowl Shuffle, 02/10/2005). At least be consistent. Joel, keep on exposing your "kids" (two by 23 including a six-year old, impressive) to the horrors of the "liberal" world for those of us who appreciate satire. Fred Vescio Alum LETTERS POLICY N The Michigan Daily welcomes .letters from all of its readers. Letters from University students, faculty, staff and administrators will be given priority over others. Letters should include the writer's name, college and school year or other Uni- versity affiliation. The Daily will not print any letter containing statements that can- not be verified. Letters should be kept to approxi- mately 300 words. The Michigan Daily 4-, -:---.:. K - X;V- a~i st ..> - -a w: