0 w U U~ U 4 The Michigan Dal, thecapriciouslifeIwith Adam Burns GOING FOR A SWIM Ladies night can make the 14th fun My friend and mentor Johnny Lee once overheard a per- son say seven times in the same sentence that they were going to the Fishbowl. Seven times! They were obviously excited to show off their campus lingo because one sim- ply does not mention something seven times in a sentence if they are not excited. I'm an English major. I know the rules. What was truly astounding about the statement was that the per- son was actually excited about going to the Fishbowl, and that is not some- thing to be excited about. Supposedly, the Fishbowl is a place of huge glass windows that give it its fish bowl appearance which also hous- es a seemingly endless array of com- puters. A visit to the site, however, will reveal that the glass windows, sadly, are only on one side of the lab. This makes it more of a fish tank than a fish bowl. The visit will also reveal that the computers do indeed end. Trying to get an open computer at the Fishbowl can be very complicated in that it's all based on luck. Most students don't understand the importance of luck and think that it takes a special skill to secure a com- puter. Therefore, they use a surefire technique to make sure that they get the first available computer. Some students chose to stake out a specific computer. It may mean pitch- ing a tent, phoning out for supplies or marking their territory like a dog, but once they are waiting for that com- puter, they are not leaving. If President Bush called and requested their servic- es in the interest of national security, they would certainly accept - but only if the work could be done online and could wait until they got the computer they were waiting for. These people are typically very angry. I'm not sure why this is, but I have a very strong feeling that it has something to do with people like me that usurp the computers they are waiting for. I'm one that likes to randomly wan- der throughout the Fishbowl, knowing divine intervention or stealing one from Bounce Ar und oI Creative Arts Workshops A Pre-Valentine Event - Do something special for someone special! Friday, Feb 11th,pm-11pm Michigan League Underground FREE ADMISSION and REFRESHMENTS someone who is waiting is my best shot at getting a computer. There have been many times when I swooped in and swiped a computer from someone who was waiting for it. In my defense, I did not realize they were waiting because they had been pretending to read a book for the past hour, which appar- ently makes them look less conspicu- ous for the crime they feel they are committing: waiting for a computer to open up. The drawback to roving around the Fishbowl is that you all too often see that familiar blue login screen from across the way and zoom to it, kicking over several backpacks and people waiting for the printer in the process - only to see it adorned with an out-of-order sign. Sometimes, the sign is not yet up, so sev- eral idiots try desperately to login, only to have the computer deny them each time. This occurs much to the delight of those seated at computers nearby, who bear a look of "I have a computer and you don't." Their condescension does not help matters when you rise from the chair, already defeated, and see a lucky student back across the way secure the computer you had been waiting for. Roaming around the Fishbowl is also a great strategy because it gives me ample chance to glare at each and every one of the people who are playing games and talking on the Instant Messenger. I want nothing more than to scream at some- one to stop playing Texas Hold 'Em so that I can get on the computer they are using and start playing online euchre. The crucial issue with the conges- tion of the Fishbowl is printing. When I learned that the new printer I pur- chased held approximately a thimble's worth of ink, I knew that I was going to have to use my ITCS-allotted 400 pages to print. I've headed out to the Fishbowl ten minutes before class with the intention of printing the assign- ment and turning it in. This, of course, never works. Not only do I have to go through the trouble of locating a com- puter, I have to make sure that I'm printing to the Angell Hall printer and not to the magical Zilch printer, which apparently holds less than a thimble of ink and cannot be used except in emer- gencies. I've probably spent a length of time equal to half my junior year wait- ing for papers that were never coming because I sent them to the Zilch printer. The other half was spent trying to get another computer, since people always took over mine as I waited for hours by the printer. With all the problems that ensue, it may be obvious that we should all fre- quent the Union or the UGLI or wherev- er the cool kids go for their computing needs. But it's obvious to me that we should keep heading to Angell Hall, just so we can say Fishbowl. Adam will be spending his Valen- tine's Day trying to fix a paper jam on printer four at the Fishbowl. Thank him for his efforts at burnsaj@umich.edu. By Bernie Nguyen Daily Books Editor Valentine's Day presents a conun- drum for those who are single women. With every gift shop, TV show and radio station promoting the glories of couple-hood, what's left for unat- tached women? Girls' Night Out is the solution to a dreary Valentine's Day that would otherwise be spent goofing off and studying. There is no better way to defy the culture that sends out such negative messages for singles on a day that - even though is meant to com- memorate the bloody death of Saint Valentine in 269 A.D. - celebrates the joys of having a mate. So the ladies are gathered, the boys are nowhere to be found, "Indepen- dent Woman" by Destiny's Child is playing in the background and now it's time to have some fun. It's imper- ative to do something that everyone - whether single or taken - enjoys. Dinner with the girls The standard staple of most Valen- tine's evening plans, dinner out with a bunch of your friends is a sure-fire way to have a great time. Plenty of restaurants on campus have great atmospheres suitable for a fun, fancy- free meal. Instead of just going out to dinner, spice things up a little bit. Go to a tapas restaurant and share your meal with the girls or go to a different res- taurants for each part of the meal. Though the pricier places should probably be avoided since they take Valentine's Day reservations, more casual restaurants such as Cottage Inn, Pizza House, and Good Time Charley's most likely will be recep- tive to larger parties without reser- vations. If dinner out doesn't work for everyone, cook at home. Fondue is always a popular choice or have each girl bring their favorite dish and be ready to pig out. Seeing a movie Just because there's no one to make out with in the back of the theater doesn't mean you can't see a good romantic film. The best thing about a movie is that there are two theaters right on campus, you won't have to worry about reservations and you have several film options to choose from. If neither of these options sound appealing (or if you want to avoid the sight of cuddly couples altogether), a private party is the way to go. There are numerous ways to have a great time without ever leaving the comfort of your own home. If you choose to stay in, watch a marathon of movies with a favorite actress or watch an entire season of "Sex and the City" and talk about boys all night. Either way, as long as the gossip is flowing, the night promises to be fun for all. Slumber Party ARE YOU FROM JAMAICA? BECAUSE JAMAICAN US GO CRAZY! WEEKEND MAGAZINE This flashback to the middle school parties of our girlhood is a fantastic way to strengthen friendships, revisit your childhood and have a fabulous time in the process. Cute pajamas, junk food and pizza, scary movies, home makeovers and truth or dare - keep the tradition alive! Dessert Party Choose a theme and a place. Deck it out with nice dishes and silverware, candles and music, and then invite all your girlfriends to bring over a des- sert dish and have a sugary version of potluck. Cheesecake, cookies, brownies - is there any better way to celebrate being single than with chocolate and your best friends? If you're looking for an excuse to dress up and feel wonderful, this is the way to do it. Sex Toy Party For those of us looking for meth- ods of gratification other than simply chocolate, a sex toy party can provide enough scandalous fun to keep an girl happy even (and especially) if sh is single. The Safe Sex Store on South Uni versity Avenue has arrangement that can be made for a sex toy part that is a much more titillating ver sion of your average Tupperwar bash. There's no better way to be happy and proud single woman thar to be comfortably satisfied in you own sexuality. All of the above suggestions can and should be, tweaked and com bined to fit the personalities of th girls present. Don't hesitate to combine desser with a movie or to theme your slum ber party so that everyone arrives in a bikini. The point of a Girls' Night Out is to induce happiness and pride in a life style that may not presently include a significant other. 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