ZahL - - - - - -1-Ai--,-- -- - -1 -- 'J -- I - ---- Mr
2B - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, January 6, 2005
The Michigan Daily
Welch's juice girl scares Random
By Doug Wernert
Daily TV/New Media Editor
The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Lisa
Random: Yeah, just a minute ...
TMD: Hi, Lisa, I'm calling from
The Michigan Daily and you've
been selected to do this week's
Random Student Interview.
TMD: Yes. First question: how
was your break?
TMD: What did you do?
R: I went snowboarding and vis-
ited my family.
TMD: Where did you go snow-
R: In Mt. Holly.
TMD: Where's that?
R: It's in Michigan.
TMD: Cool. Now on to the actu-
al interview. Who was your favorite
reindeer other than Rudolph?
TMD: Why Blitzen and not Don-
ner or Dasher?
R: I'd have to say because of
TMD: Oh, I get it! That's clever!
R: Yes, it is.
TMD: In the "Rudolph the Red-
Nosed Reindeer" song, why is
Monopoly a reindeer game?
R: Haha, I guess because it's tra-
TMD: But why wouldn't they be
playing like Clue or 13 Dead End
R: That would mess up the flow
of the song if they were playing 13
Dead End Drive.
TMD: Yes, that is true. Do you
like to make snow angels?
TMD: How come everytime I do
it, mine always look like a dumb-
looking distorted circle?
R: Well, that happens. You have
to not bring your arms so high above
TMD: Ah, ok. Did you buy books
R: I'm going tomorrow.
TMD: Are you going to Shaman
R: That's the first place I'm
TMD: Do you ever laugh at
the people standing outside in the
R: No, because I like the snow.
TMD: Yeah, but they have to
wait outside in the snow waiting to
R: That's unfortunate for them.
TMD: Yep. What was your New
R: Um ... to drink more water.
TMD: What did you drink
R: Soda ... and juice.
TMD: What's your favorite kind
TMD: You don't like anything
R: No, apple is better.
TMD: Do you like the Welch's
grape juice girl?
R: She's kind of scary.
R: She's scary, and she's kind of
TMD: What's weird about her?
R: She has a weird accent and ...
she's just weird.
TMD: Wow. That's great. What
did you do for New Year's?
R: Hung out with my boyfriend.
TMD: Oh, so you had someone
to kiss at midnight.
R: Yes, I did.
TMD: Well, I didn't.
R: That's sad.
TMD: Yeah, maybe next year.
TMD: Did you see that Carson
Daly was hosting a New Year's spe-
R: No, I didn't see that.
TMD: Why do you think he's
hosting a show of any kind?
R: Probably because of "TRL."
TMD: Did you watch "TRL?"
TMD: Why not?
R: It's a terrible, boring show.
I'm not a fan of MTV. It's too main-
TMD: I see. What "Home Alone"
was better: the first one or the sec-
R: The first one.
R: Originals are always better.
TMD: But what about "Rocky
IV?" That was better than "Rocky."
R: I never saw it.
TMD: What about "Ghostbusters
II?" That was way better than the
R: Well, I'm a fan of Slimer, so I
assume the original was better.
TMD: Why did you like Slimer?
R: Essentially because he was
green. It's my favorite color.
TMD: So you like green grass?
TMD: Is green tea your favorite
R: Yes, green tea is better.
TMD: Cool. So you said the
original "Home Alone" was bet-
ter. Why did every "Home Alone"
movie have a creepy old person in
R: That was a little creepy. I
think they were trying to prove that
common childish assumptions were
wrong and old people aren't that
scared, but sometimes they can be.
TMD: Why did you say that last
R: Well, because you tell your
kids not to talk to strangers.
TMD: Wait, so it's not OK for
your kids to talk to strangers, but
it's OK for them to ask for help if
they were left home alone?
R: It's OK in movies.
TMD: Because movies aren't
TMD: Wow, that was very inter-
esting. What is the worse candy bar:
Chunky or Payday?
R: I don't like raisins.
TMD: Fair enough. What's the
worst job you could possibly have?
R: Garbage collector because
you smell bad and that's bad. Any
job where you smell bad is bad. It's
better to work in a bakery because
you can smell like cookies.
TMD: Haha, cool. Last question:
did you sleep with a stuffed ani-
TMD: What was its name?
TMD: What kind of animal was
R: A teddy bear.
TMD: Aww, I used to sleep with
a bear and its name was AJ Bear.
What's the better teddy bear name:
Teddy or Bear-Bear?
R: They're both pretty bad.
TMD: Let's say you had to
R: Bear-Bear. It's more unique.
TMD: What was your first
R: You know, I really don't
TMD: Well, maybe you should
look into that.
R: I should.
TMD: Cool. Is there anything
else you would like to add?
R: Not off the top of my head.
TMD: All right. Thanks for doing
this. Look for it in Weekend.
STOP BY 420
MAYNARD ST. AND
PICK UP A STORY
OR TWO TODAY.
history meet with
Planet returns to
Helpful tips for
Steve Dubois: Let
me introduce myself
Why I Love
ALEXANDRA JONES - AUTo-nEU OTIC
ORBACH ALWAYS LAID IT DOWN
Gross in millions of dollars
1. Meet the Fockers (41.7)
- How many focking Focker jokes
can you put in one movie?
2. Lemony Snicket's A Series
of Unfortunate Events (14.5) -
A fascinating documentary about
the war in Iraq.
3. The Aviator (11.3) - What a
stretch - Leonardo DiCaprio plays
a rich guy who hates the paparazzi
and beds many beautiful women.
4. Fat Albert (10.1) - If they
made this cartoon into a live-action
movie, an adaptation of "The
Snorks is not far behind.
5. Ocean's Twelve (9.4) - Let
me guess ... is the 12th member
6. National Treasure (6.7)
- From the director of such
masterpieces as "3 Ninjas" and
7. Spanglish (4.7) - Starting in
2006, there'll be a Spanglish SAT II
exam, all thanks to Adam Sandler
of all people.
8. The Polar Express (5.6) -
See the IMAX 3D version - Tom
Hanks literally spits on your face.
9. The Phantom of the Opera
(4.7) - Director Joel Schumacher
once again inflicts pain upon
audiences. Wasn't "Batman and
10. Darkness (4.6) - The
Academy just may take back Anna
Paquin's Oscar for acting in this.
And "She's All That."
(Iometbing happened recenty Of course I realize that it's just know he's tougher than me and he
that requires me to confess a TV show - but with this kind carries a gun. And I'm not an alco-
to having what amounts to of program, one that makes you holie .* I know I wouldn't want to
a really dumb interest. Although feel xtarter as you watth but sl...e.h....guess TUAT'S where I
I critkcize classmates and friends entertains with class and intel- stop and he starts"
who love to watch the sensation- ligence, it's easy to.getdawn in. Afteralithat stuff aboutOrbach's
alism of reality shows like "The "Law & Order"' is the equivalent TV.career, I want to do him some
Apprentie" and "The Bachelor".of high-.class televised heroin tosort of tribute, a sort of mini-eulo-
and programs like the u.trly vac- reality TV's cheap weekend binge gy for my wisecracking televised
nuns " Will and Grace" and "Sex drinking, and fans wouldn't have pal I think the best way to do that
and the City:"' I'm guilty of tten- it any other way. The thing is, it's is.otell you about his career out-
intgity e cepsin shw w.h.....Ot jUst a show.I ljke to.watch; one side of television, to let yoknow.
inenit elisngtht f.vn the grows quite fond of the characters a few.thngs that all those reruns
most rabid reality TV fan. I really, ~- crusaders for justice who...... cant. Orbach began his career as a
really like "Law &.Order." (Okay, have a human side. Broadway actor,. singing and danc-
ky.A..sN...So here's the reason f..in musicals like 42nd Street
too, but that's another cohimn den outpouring of love for the "The F~antasticks," and "Chicago."
altogether.) show: Jerry.Orbhach -known to He won a Tony Award for his wr.
Let me explain: f atit many Lennie Briscoe on. h em-in "Promises, Promises in l9...
'4Law & Order" buff. You could ingly immortal cops-and-lawyers He played.1ay's father in Dirty
say I like the show. A lot. Like, drama - died of prostate cancer Dancing, and guess who voiced
there was a time when, during one two Tuesdays ag.Orbach,.who rakish candlestick Luiere in Dis.
single week, I'd watch anywhere played the twice-divorced. wise- ney's animated "Beauty and the
from 12 to 15 hours of the origi- cracking.New York Detective Beast?"
nal series. Between new episodes IBriscoe for 12 seasons before his Orbach's perfrm....s.w.th.the
or reruns of the latest season once illness forced him to move to the rest of the L&O cast gave the show
a week on NBC and two or three third Law.&Order spinoff, "Trial a dose of humanity, of vulner-
episodes playing in primetime Bly Jury," was my1v .iecharac- ability with a hard edge: There's
each week night on TNT, I became ter on th~e show. . a reason he and hard.s ttre
somewhat preoccupied. My obses- Although pI'm the last .person foil Sam Waterston have been on
sion has since waned a little, but. who would ever pupr to care the show so long, while the rest
even now when I watch the occa- about celebrity gossip, the news of the cast has rotated every few
sional episode, I've seen almost was genuinely upsetting. I was a seasons. I prefer to rememberjjim
every one several times. little sad for the rest of that day, as Detective Brs .edeadpan-
The thing about the original and every time I saw his headshot ning a corny one-liner~ over a dead
"Law & Order" franchise (I won't in the sidebar of a newspaper for body before a commercial break.
touch on "Special Victims Unit" the absence thereoft, I got a lhttle He was a great actor - one of my
and "Criminal Intent" because sadder. ft' j ust not fafr,lI thought, favorites - and I think any one
they're just not relevant here) is for Lennie t, die. It's sily, of who's ever seen the show will miss
that, once you start watching it, course, for fans toconfuse a char- him. Goodbye, Jerry and thanks
y ou can't stop. Fans have often acter w ith an actor; of course for ev ery thing. L ennie: I'll see y ou
remarked on its weirdly addictive they're not the same. But still, tomorrow night on channel 31.
propertie - the tightly structured you get the feeling that k now ing
investigation/trial setup, the three- Orbach would have been a bit like Alexandra eagerdv looks for-
dimensional characters whose getting to know the world-weary ward to the "Law & Orde r" reruns
personal lives we learn very little Lennie 's nicer side. H is Associ- on TNT every day. If you share
about and, as TNT's promnos for ated.Prssobituary quoted him her rest for the < nutroPm. Jet
their three-hour blocks of reruns as saying, "[I don't know3 where I her /know. She can be reached at
constantly remind, the drama. stop and Lennie starts, really ... I almaj> umic h edu.
. ::. .... ....... ... .... ... .... ...
Mailing of student bills ended in
Your January 2005 student bill and all
future bills will be available to you, your
parents and others ONLY in electronic
If you would like your parents or others to view your
bills, you must give them access on the "Email Family
and Friends" page in Wolverine Access:
Alternative ways in which you may have others
receive the bill:
+ View your bill on Wolverine Access, attach it to an
email to your parents and/or others, or
+ View your bill, print it, and mail it to your parents
baily Arts Mix Tape
Bridging Communities and Laying Foundations
Saturday, Jan 81 2005, 11 AM -4 PM
1135 E Catherine St. Medical Science Building 1,. University of Michigan
Dr. B Li Free Workshops
Self, Culture and success Yoga, Tai Chi, Basics Concepts
Northwestern University of Oriental Medicine, Family
Pediatrics Dept. Medical Decisions, more!
12 PM 1-4PM
Free Health Screening Pan-Asian Lunch
Cholesterol, Vision, Asian/South Asian Food
Blood Pressure from around Ann Arbor
Starts @ 11 AM Available for $5
Writers: Adam Burns, Stephanie
Canning, Leah Hangarter, Megan
Jacobs, Jim Kelly, Dennis Lee,
Lauren Smith, Doug Wernert
Photo Editors: Elise Bergman,
Tony Ding, Ryan Weiner
Campbell, Alex Dziadosz,
Shubra Ohri, Ali Olsen,
Cover Art: Trevor Campbell
Arts Editors: Jason Roberts,
Adam Rottenberg, Editor
Editor in Chief: Jordan Schrader
Ladies and gentlemen, break
out the gainja and the Crunk
Juice, pop in mix tape Side A
and turn up the volume. You'll
move through some scorching
hip-h.op to frat-brand, collar-
pgop pinq club music that will
have all the ladies on the
floor and conclude your night
with some '80s throwback,
impromptu drunk karaoke.
If you played our cards
right, you'lI wake up with
unquenchable thirsts, a raging
headache and hefty aimounts
of shame and confusion.
Introduce yourself to the irl
next to you, qet a drink ana
flip over to Side B: Close your
eyes. We've qot you covered.
-Jerry Gor inier
1. Get Crunk -Lil Jon & The
East Side Boyz feat. Bo Hogan;
2. Galangaton (biple Mix)
3. Too Much Brandy - The
4. The New Workout Plan
- Kanye West
1. iQue Liuvia!- Juana Molina
2. Forthe Widows in Paradise,
For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti-
3. On the Bus Mall- The be-
4. Passenger Seat - Death Cab
Your exams are
Your II t imet
your campus soo
Check out wwv
5. In Da Club - 50 Cent 5. Pink Moon - Nick Drake
6. Toxic - Britney Spears
7. Tipsy - J-Kwon
8. 99 Problems - Jay-Z
6. America - Simon and Gar-
7. Brick - Ben Folds Five
9. Teenage Wasteland - The 8. Naked As We Come = Iron
Who and White
10. Here I Go Again - 9. See You Soon Codplay
10. Horizon variations - Max