2B - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, February 3, 2005
The Michigan Daily
Random won't help crying girl
taboe f|co nte nt s
Steve Du Bois:
3B What's the status?
The Weekend List
auto-neurotic Iwith Alexandra Jones
CONTROL COFFEE AND MUSIC
By Evan McGarvey
Daily Music Editor
TMD: Hi, is Carly there?
R: Hold on one second ... hello?
TMD: Hello, you've been selected to
do The Michigan Daily Random Student
TMD: You got some time?
TMD: All right. Be honest: How
depressing is it outside right now?
R: Yeah, it's pretty bad.
TMD: Do you want to elaborate on
that? Any personal stories?
R: Um, no.
TMD: So what, are you too busy sit-
ting indoors drinking and listening to
R: No ...
TMD: So what else are you listening
to? Joy Division? Nirvana?
R: Um ... all sorts of stuff. What am I
being interviewed for?
TMD: The Michigan Daily Weekend
R: Yeah, I know what that is.
TMD: Inside the front cover they have
the Random Student Interview.
R: Oh really?
TMD: Yeah, you should read it more
often because usually they're pretty
R: I don't want to be on that! That's
TMD: Why would it be embarrass-
R: Are they going to know it's me?
TMD: It's going to say your name,
Carly, and that's it.
R: Oh my god, can they do this? OK,
I'll do it.
TMD: Well, we've been reporting the
whole time, so ...
R: Oh my god! That's so embarrass-
TMD: Well, welcome to 2005. All
right, do you know where Kashmir is?
R: Like the sweater?
TMD: Yes, like the sweater. I'm talk-
ing about the war-torn region between
India and Pakistan that's up for interna-
tional debate. But don't worry, it's not like
we go to a really big school and everyone's
going to read that.
R: (incoherent background yelling)
TMD: It sounds like there's a wild ani-
mal loose in your room. Should I call the
R: (to her roommate) ... and he goes
"like the sweater" ... you talk to him.
(Random's roommate gets on the phone)
They're scared to talk to you, dude. I
walked in the room and they handed me
TMD: Yeah, I'm doing an interview
for the Daily, for the Random Student
Interview and I seem to have asked Carly
where Kashmir is and she said "like the
R: OK ...
TMD: I take it she's not a Poli-Sci
R: No, she's not.
TMD: Well, let's keep her away from
international relations. So when's the last
time you saw someone cry in public?
R: Yesterday, I saw a girl crying.
TMD: What happened?
R: I don't know. She was out in front of
the MLB. Wait, it wasn't yesterday. It was
TMD: You tell a really good story.
R: I don't know what happened. She
TMD: Was she alone? Did you see if
she was all right?
TMD: God, you're a horrible person.
R: I didn't know her! I didn't know
what was wrong with her.
TMD: So what? No common cour-
tesy? You can't walk up to her and be like
"Excuse me, Miss, are you all right?"
TMD: Why not?
R: If I was crying in public, I wouldn't
want someone to ask me if I was OK.
TMD: What if someone came up to
you completely cordial and just wanted to
make sure you were all right?
R: I wouldn't like that, I don't think.
TMD: What if she had broken a bone
in her foot and she couldn't walk and
she had to stand out there all night in the
R: Well, I'm sure she has a cell phone.
TMD: What if she can't afford one
because she's from a real working-class
R: Well, I'm from a working-class
family and I have a cell phone.
TMD: What if her family is even more
working-class? Like instead of blue-col-
lar, it's like really blue-collar?
R: I don't know then. She could have
went in the MLB. It was during the day.
TMD: Well, let's just hope she was
all right. So zombie movies and zombie
video games: Are they disrespectful to
zombies and zombie culture?
R: Yeah, they probably are.
TMD: What stereotypes do you think
they perpetuate about the zombie?
R: That they eat brains.
TMD: Eat brains. Interesting. Do you
think they should have affirmative action
for zombies at the University?
R: Probably, yeah. They're a group just
like everyone else.
TMD: So by group, that means that
groups like people who eat nachos in their
underwear should get affirmative action.
R: Haha, do you know of a lot of people
who eat nachos in their underwear?
TMD: Hey, more than you think. It's
R: OK, all right. They should be.
TMD: So are you going to watch the
R: Probably. It'll probably be on.
TMD: You know what? I think the
Super Bowl might be on TV.
R: I mean it'll be on the room that I'm
in. I don't know if I'll be actively watch-
TMD: What room do you think you'll
R: I don't know. When is it?
TMD: They're traditionally played on
the winter solstice when the first hawk
cries while soaring above the majestic
blue sky. They're on Sundays, just like
every other football game other.
R: Oh, so on Sunday?
TMD: Yeah. So have you ever used a
cell phone during sex? Like if it got bor-
ing, you'd want to call your friends and be
like "what are you doing right now?"
R: No, I wouldn't want to call my
friends during sex.
TMD: Well, what would happen if
your partner was like "Yeah, I just gotta
check my voice messages?"
R: No, that'd be bad.
TMD: So in case you didn't know,
The Michigan Daily just changed edit
boards. Hot or not: the new edit board
R: Hot! I read the thing at the bottom
today and I was really excited about the
TMD: Oh, so it got you all hot and
TMD: Fantastic. So are you on The
Facebook or what?
R: I am, but I just use it to look at other
TMD: Oh, so you're what the French
would call a voyeur.
TMD: Oh, that's really creepy. My
respect for you is plummeting like a rock
in a lake.
R: Haha, I'm sorry.
TMD: It's OK. So what's your favorite
type of alcohol.
R: I don't know. I don't know my favor-
TMD: Have you ever brewed toilet
R: No, I haven't.
TMD: Have you ever watched any
prison shows like "Oz?"
R: No, I haven't.
TMD: In between the scenes of spiri-
tual redemption and brutal gang rape, they
have people leaving plums and oranges in
toilets and then they ferment into wine
and then they get really trashed.
R: Oh! No, I haven't seen that. I
wouldn't try that.
TMD: Do you drink?
R: Well, I'm not in prison, so ...
TMD: Oh, OK, fair enough. I think
American history might be a little bit
backwards. You actually can drink if
you're outside prison. It's a new law.
R: Oh, OK.
TMD: Started out in 1787. Anyway,
thanks for all your time. Look for this in
, ., - . -,%-- -%--,.':Z-.': . - I ::,:.: 7.: 7! ...........................
Students use time
off to help others
Finding fun in
our own state
No plans? No
money? No problem
Odd (wo) man out
Trouble in spring
travel in style
Gross in millions of dollars
1. Hide and Seek (219) - It's
official: Robert De Niro only reads his
paychecks and not his scripts.
2. Are We There Yet? (16.3)
- The only reason Ice Cube scowls is
because he's in crappy movies.
3. Million Dollar Baby (12.2) -
What's with Hilary Swank and all these
4. Coach Carter (8) - That kid from
"Finding Forester" sure has a knack for
playing underprivileged teen basketball
5. Meet The Fockers (8) - Well, at
least De Niro can say this is better than
"Hide and Seek."
6. The Aviator (7.5) - The ratio
of good movies to bad movies Kate
Beckinsale has been in is now 5:1
7. Racing Stripes (6.5) - Isn't it a
little too soon for a remake of "Babe?"
8. Sideways (6.3) - Pigs must be
flying: Lowell from "Wings" has gotten
an Oscar nod.
9. In Good Company (6.2) - Don't
worry Topher. We still love you even if
you did a voice in Roberto Benigan's
10. Assault On Precinct 13 (4.2) -
Don't quit your day job, Ja Rule. Actually,
that would be great.
work at a coffee shop, a sttre in
a chain that, while their products
are quality, shall remain nameless.
My specific shop's location, however,
doesn't draw students and A2 bohemi-
ans like some of our other locations
do; we attract a steady stream of busi-
nesspe*ol k and engineers, reseawlw
ers, teachers and soccer moms. Only
a few grad students dare to #eutur
so far north to study and drink straw-
berry Italian soda. Inexchange fr my
dedication to the art of making coffee
drinks, I get to choose what music to
play in the store. Mswahahahaha. It's
an intoxicating privilege that I take full
advantage of, listening to pretty much
anything I want,
The music you hear in public places
r be it or the 'dunes shill-cum-clas-
sic rock "station" that contextualizes
my shopping trips to Kroger with John
Mayer and (inexplicably) "Won't Get
Fooled Again" - is asort of atmospher-
ic variable, like the decor at a restaurant
or the clothes other people wear. You
might like it or hate it, but you have no
control over it; the best way to affirm or
protest what those around you are doing
is to make a pointed response with your
own style. But when you control the
atmosphere in a public place like a store
or restaurant, you've sometimes got to
hold your own ego in check while pre-
senting patrons with something interest-
ing, even if they don't particularly want
Unfortunately, most of my customers
- especially those who earn a salary,
who make a point to match their hand-
bags and their shoes to their eye shadow
and pantsuits, who pretty much live off
of medium skimlattes - don't always music was simply unfit for consump-
want to hear my music. They coulddt tion by someone with her own delicate
care less about the latest glitch-folk sensibilities. As though I was blasting
album by your English teacher's band Dead Kennedys or something. Acting
or Neutral Milk Hotel's acclaimed In like she owned the place.
the Aeroplane Over the Sea, or, neces- ButI just smiled kily, tipped my
sarily, anytingby Bjrk. head to one side and gave her some-
It's not surprising that most of the thing equally smart and poppy and
patrons.wo.hagout at my store, some- wonderful to hear, an album she could
times nursing 'a small cofne for my ever claim to dislike for being too
entire shift, plug into their own laptops, angular too angry or too loud: Belle
iPods ndportable C players to block and Sebastian's The Boy With the Arab
out noise from the coffee grinders and Strap, which just happens to be one of
whatever Silver Sews album I happen the most delicate records to come out
to be obsessed with that day. But what ofvScoandsince,um,anyofbelleand
is a little odd - and maybe, consider- Sebastian's other albums. I'm happy.to
ing my tendency to shoot my mouth off compromise, people - just don't tell
when I'm irked by stupidity/utter lack of mehovtodoimy job.
musical taste, it's just me - is that in My favorites that people actually
my six months of gainful employment seem to enjoy:
as a coffee bitch, I've only been asked Anything by Wilco.
to change or turn down the music three Those who don't care will find
times. The first was some guy who Tweedy &Co.'s music palatable enough
thought that Rufus Wainwright's Want to ignore, and you might even convert a
One (perfect cafm music; so glamorous few potential indie kids with "Pot Ket-
that it almost lets me forget that we're tle Black" or "Shot In the Arm.
located in a suburban shopping center) The Cars SIT
was turnedtup a bit too loud. I concurred Reminds me of a time before I was
and turned it down. born (1978) and people weren't yet
But every once in a while, I'm willing to pay $4for coffee drinks.
inwardly incensed by some customers' Brian Wilson's Smile
requests: one woman, meeting with a This one generally makes every-
friend or coworker, asked me to turn thing seem happier, so anyone who
off A.C. Newman's utterly sublime, wants it turned off automatically feels
meticulously arranged pop masterpiece like a jerk for disliking sweetness and
The Slow Wonder on the grounds that light and crazy ex-Beach Boys.
it sounded "too corrosive" for her. This - --
woman - who certainly hadn't pur Next time you're in a coffee shop,
chased recorded music since Frampton look for Alexandra to be serving
Comes Alive, who probably wasn't out cappucinos while jamming to
capable of listening to music for plea- Pavement. She can be reached at
sure - had the nerve to tell me that my almajo@ umich.edu.
MAGA ZIN E
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.. .... ... . .. . . . ...........
Daily Arts Mix Tape
an evening of modern dance set to jazz
Choreography by Alexandra Beller & faculty
Musical Direction by Ellen Rowe
UM School of Music
University Dance Co. & UM Jazz Ensemble
February 3 at 7:30pm * February 4 & 5 at 8pm * February 6 at 2pm * Power Center
Tickets $20-and $1 5w Students $9-with-Il e"-Le-agueTicket-Office- -734=764-253& -----
Writers: Christine Beamer,
Emily Fellows, Kristin Halladay,
Megan Jacobs, Tian Lee, Evan
McGarvey, Kathryn Rice
Photo Editor: Ali Olsen
Photographers: Tony Ding,
Alexander Dziadosz, Peter
Schottenfels, Ryan Weiner
Cover Photo: Ali Olsen
Arts Editors: Adam Rottenberg,
Alexandra Jones, Melissa
Runstrom, Associate Editors
Managing Editor: Alison Go
Editor in Chief: Jason Z. Pesick
torn? Professors find it so
important to pose those
questions during a riqorous
lecture. This mix wiil
attempt the same. Why are
artists so inquisitive? Side
A boasts a collection of
songs doubling as meditative
questions. These queries
are real thinkers, so take
your time conceiving your
answers. Side B features a
variety of NO answers. Do
the tifles reflect some sort
of Freudian connection of
indie rock and the notion
of questioning in the larger
sense? I have no idea, but
enjoy your contemplation.
-- Aaron Kaczander
1. Hello? Is This Thing On?
2. Is It Wicked Not to Care?
- Belle & Sebastian
3. The Future, Wouldn't That
Be Nice? - The Books
4. Why Can't'I Be With You?
- The Cure
5. beYou l2ealize?-The
6. Will You Come and Fetch
Me? - Of Montreal
7. What Difference oes It
Make? - The Smiths
8. What Is He Thinking?
- The Streets
9. Oh Cod, Where Are You
Know? - Sufjan Stevens
10. Was I In Your Dreams?
1. No, Not Now - Hot Hot Heat
2. No Child of Mine -PJ
3. No Christmas. While .I'm
Talking - The Walkmen
4.. No bark Things - Echo and
5. No Legs - Adam Green
6. No Life Singed Her - Pave-
7. No Love Lost - Joy Division
8. No No No - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
9. No One Mourns The Wicked
10. No Regrets - The Von Bond-
11, No Weather --Stellastarr
COME TO THE MASS MEETING TONIGHT AT
7m P. AT 420 MAARD St.