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S

74

2B - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, January 20, 2005

The Michigan I

Random forgets jump rope song

table of'jcontents

auto-neurotic with Alexandra Jones
'IRON CHEF' INVADES AMERIC

By Doug Wemert
Daily TV/New Media Editor

The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Sarah
there?
Random: This is she.
TMD: Hi Sarah, I'm calling from The
Michigan Daily, and you've been selected
to do this week's Random Student Inter-
view.
R: I have!?
TMD: Yeah, are you excited?
R: Yeah!
TMD: Here we go. First of all, how are
you and how was your weekend? What
did you do?
R: On Friday night, my friends and
I had a "Sex and the City" party and
dressed up like the different characters
and watched "Sex and the City."
TMD: Which one did you dress up as?
R: I was Charlotte.
TMD: Is that the hot one?
R: Haha, I don't know. She has blonde
hair.
TMD: Haha, I hope she was the hot
one.
R: Yeah, well, if I dressed up like her,
I guess she is.
TMD: Oh, that's pretty cool. OK, now
we're on the real questions. What do you
think the better career is: breakdancer or
lion tamer?
R: Um ... I guess maybe ... shoot ...
a lion tamer?
TMD: Why's that?
R: Because you probably get to wear a
really cool outfit or something.
TMD: Yeah, but you have to work with
lions who can maul you to death at any
time.
R: Yeah, but as a breakdancer, you
have to spin on your head, and I can't do
that at all.
TMD: Yeah, but you can wear those
silk pants then.
R: I suppose. I don't know, that's a hard
question.

TMD: And that's only the first one,
too.
R: I know, I know. I'll be better.
TMD: All right, what's the best job to
have in the circus?
R: Why are these all circus-related?
TMD: It's just two questions!
R: I think it would be either a clown or
a trapeze person.
TMD: A trapeze person? They're pret-
ty cool. And they get to wear some cool
outfits, too.
R: Yeah! Am I like a really boring
interviewee?
TMD: Yeah, kind of. But we're going
to keep going anyway. Who's your favor-
ite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?
R: Michelangelo.
TMD: Because he was a party dude?
R: Yeah.
TMD: And he had the nunchucks.
Were you a fan of the nunchucks?
R: I was. I was indeed. I wish I had
some.
TMD: Why do you think they hung
out with Splinter?
R: I don't know because he was like a
weird rat thing and he was kind of big
comparative, you know ... I guess maybe
they were small turtles. This is all very
confusing to me.
TMD: This is like one of those myster-
ies of the universe.
R: Yeah, but I was a really big fan of
the Ninja Turtles.
TMD: Did you like in "Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles 2" where Vanilla Ice
was in it?
R: Yeah, that was kind of random, but
you have to love Ice Ice ... baby.
TMD: Oh, I do. Who was your favorite
president?
R: Bill Clinton.
TMD: So you're not going to Bush's
inauguration?
R: No, but I was invited to it or what-
ever. My uncle is a congressman, and he's
getting inaugurated too or whatever.

TMD: And you're not going?
R: No, I can't. I got this really fancy
invitation and all, but I'm not going.
TMD: Oh, that's too bad. Who's your
favorite pro wrestler of all time?
R: Oh, that one guy ... what was his
name? Oh crap, what was his name? He
like farted on people on something.
TMD: I don't know of any wrestlers
who farted on people.
R: Well, my brother used to watch it,
and I would watch it with him. What are
some names of some pro wrestlers.
TMD: Hulk Hogan, The Ultimate
Warrior, Stone Cold Steve Austin ...
R: I want to say it was like Chewy or
something.
TMD: Chewy? Do you think Chewy is
a menacing name for a pro wrestler?
R: I don't know. Hulk Hogan, then.
TMD: Oh, OK. Why do you think
wrestlers wrestle in their underwear?
R: Because it shows off all their mus-
cles.
TMD: Why did you say muscles like
that?
R: Because they want to show them
off, and that's why I said that ... I don't
know.
TMD: Fair enough. Did you jump rope
when you were a little girl?
R: Yeah.
TMD: Did you have any songs you
would sing?
R: Yeah!
TMD: Name one.
R: Well, we used to do ... (sing-
ing) Cinderella, dressed in yellow, went
upstairs to kiss her fella, made a mistake
and kissed a snake, how many doctors did
it take? One, two, three, four, five ... and
then you keep going.
TMD: Wow, that's the only one I know
too!
R: Oh, I should have picked something
better.
TMD: Oh, there are other ones?
R: I'm sure. I'm trying to think. It was
like: (singing) Over the border to Mexico,
Texaco ... I don't remember.
TMD: Wow, I can just picture myself
jumping rope for hours singing that!
R: Yeah, I know. I don't remember. that
sucks. I should jump rope more.

TMD: Hahahaha, yeah, I guess so.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe
factory?
R: No.
TMD: Ten thousand soles were lost.
R: Really? Where?
TMD: Haha, you know ... that was a
joke! Soles ... soles of shoes.
R: Haha, I can hear everyone laugh-
ing.
TMD: Well, that was a classic moment
right there.
R: Wow, I'm a loser, OK.
TMD: Did you hear about the shooting
in the popcorn factory?
R: No.
TMD: 10,000 kernels got popped.
R: Haha, uh oh!
TMD: Did you get that one?
R: Yeah, I got it. Hahahaha.
TMD: All right, do you know the
words to the "Full House" theme song?
R: I do.
TMD: How does it go?
R: (singing) Whatever happened to ...
da da da da da da ... the milkman, the
paperboy, even TV.
TMD: Haha, wow, it's just like the
jump rope chant, isn't it?
R: Haha, yeah, how does it go?
TMD: Whatever happened to predict-
ability? The milkman, the paperboy, eve-
ning TV? How does the main part go?
R: (singing) Everywhere you look ...
TMD: Yeah, that's pretty good. Who
was hotter: D.J. or Stephanie?
R: OK, when they were little, Stepha-
nie. When they were older, D.J.
TMD: So, you've certainly watched it
through the years.
R: Oh, honey, I've watched every epi-
sode.
TMD: Oh thanks, angel pie.
R: Hahahaha.
TMD: And finally, have you ever left a
dirty phone message?
R: Not a dirty phone message. Maybe
like a funny one.
TMD: Yeah, well everyone's done
that.
R: I know. I guess I'm not that cool.
TMD: Well, maybe you should work
on it, honey.
R: I will, sweetie pie.

3B
4B
5B

Steve Du Bois:
Hooking up with
The Facebook
The Weekend List
U-Move helps
students get
in shape
The more creative
ways to exercise

Courtesy of Paramount
WEEKEND

Food Finds: Ann
Arbor's health
food stores

60"B
9B
11B
12B

Ellen McGarrity: So I
gained a few pounds'
Fad diets: A guide
to what works
Weekend
Entertainment with
Alexandra Jones
Watch what
you watch

BOX.OFFICE
Gross in millions of dollars
1. Coach Carter (29.2)- Bad move
Ashanti - Fiddy Cent is going to mock
you in his next single for appearing in
this.
2. Meet the Fockers (22.6) -
America's fetish with watching a nebbish
Ben Stiller get tortured continues.
3. Racing Stripes (18.5) - It's nice
to see Tim Allen's daughter from "Joe'r
Somebody" moving on to bigger and
better things.
4. In Good Company (743) -
How Dennis Quaid felt about the guy
who used to sell him cocaine.
5. Elektra (5.7) - She should have
stayed dead at the end of "Daredevil."
6. White Noise (14.1) - Michael
Keaton didn't get any EVP messages
that this movie was going to suck.
7. The Aviator (6.3) - Gwen Stefani
plays the comely, untalented and ditzy
Jean Harlow. Genius!
8. Lemony Snicket's A Series
of Unfortunate Events (5.3) - The
movie will certainly live up to its title if it
becomes a franchise.
9. The Phantom of the Opera
(4.6) - Hopefully, "Starlight Express"
won't be the next major movie musical.
10. Fat Albert (3.7) - Why didn't they
cast Courtney Love as Mushmouth?

eive alI'seen ,it at one timec jag amtongst foodiesiand anyone with culinary' expet~ Yuicio Hattori;
another Between the a decent bong." While that may be whatevers p se.e......
digaing/ab stories, makecover talked about the show htsn't jut sein and delighthilt"ood Eats" host.Ai
show andendess hours of ' 1 Love ihy achieverytme it comes on. Brown capably MCs the competii
the '8Os, you'ye certainly sttbed PeopleWae favore IrotiChefs. Mine A stable of Thod Netwvtrk chefs I
upon one of cable televison's most apens to be the fiery I rop Chef Ital- WoI1gang Puck, Mario Batai and
enthraling and utterly contoundg tan Masko K-ob, knewn in Japa.. controversiFy..........h 0t.
hovr-kong programs. Mayb& you saw wee cuhinary cirdles as The Pdneof eve& Morimocte.rund.ou th.
a~ spptof th ide- wie Psa.You canabuykIon Chef basebalI But without the kitseh.fctr i
aprwned Asian men scurrying about' caps, aprons 41d eve a board same Aew "iron Chef" worth watching?
with geaming kntives and 1ive sajm- Snwwontork aom. It's true Sht withbot th5 eu
on. Perhaps you caught the end of this tAthgh prdtion ceased' in' appe f.&he ..............r... ...
pograz, which features draruadic 1999, a crossover bat.ewa Je] a AinricW- wouldn't cause much<
splaying behind four so7ber, 7w years ago: Iron Chef Jkpan. stir (.ee ee). Despite the Ameri
weltdressed judges standing in fog Masabarn Moimoto of 5h ftredy ization process, however, the shos
,iacbine smoke. Or niaybe you saw a New Yok.eturn Nobo fougbt still enijoyable: Viewers still love
'lambyanly dressed guy - maybe Mesa Grifl's Nquish-faced, pompous- heat (zingY ,of 'batle, anid makin
he's a matadot.- bit. zestfully into a s. e.d hef B.bby F . Cultures multiours meal in anhur is g
giant yedlow 'pepper. That's igbt: P'm collided wheni, at rfr end of the dif- to take a stressful toll on anyone.'
talking about "Iron Chef." 7,'cuea Battle RbIck Crab, Flay jumped ingredients are still pretly exotic si
.This Japanese hybrid of a cook- ipwot the courntestood on hi cuffing the stateside Iron Chefs specializ
ing show and a game show, IA which board and proceeded to make a "raise. cooking stykes of cuisine from all t
two gourmet chef must create a he rf"..... was +is- the world. And although we'll
menu around a surprise ingredient, ibly affended.....tby the dumbass hear a poorly translated judge's ct
has attracted a huge fanbase since it nature of Flay' actions, but bcause mient of the same caliber as "it is2
began airing 'on that ehanxiefl always as dhefs, "con ing boards andy knives, a cat's tongue upon my own tong
seemi to end up watching The Food are sacred." In the midst oftsudi scan-. from critics like Paige Davis crlDo
Network, 'and I've been hooked.ev.r.d..,.Moriotow the battle, and llanwerhearingdscriptionsofv
since. The weird part is this: So is Flay 'bested him ilathe Battle Lobster these cdlinary improvisations V
ever yone else., rematch in Japan the next year. The like is still one of the most iriteres
The. concept seems pretty special- two nw profess.to be friends, parts of the show.. O er.ll..s.a
ized, right? Weird food plus an hour.They'd have t.jbe: $ot.bear 5h cess for fans of the original Em
time limit plus shiny costumes euals pres.ig .. rChef Amer- glad that Food Networks seemir
ratings gold no matter where you go. lea," Food Netwotk's new adaptation ubiquitous dimple-faced, spendt
Throw in a few bashels of bad over- of Fuji lTheruational TV's .it. Rather twat Ractael Ray isn't involved.
dubbing and a dash of cxtss-cltual than' the' L ierace-emque Chairman
mystique, and you've got a hMt on your Kaa (whos realy a actor any way), Alexandra wants tu be able to
hands.w'eg&e i "nephew." Instead of into a hot pepper like Chairman K,
Gawker1om asserts that the show.. dish-by-di co. enar o.for- Offer her words of enouragemer
has "an impenetrable, cult-like follow- mer baseball announcer Kenji Fukui, aJlmaj@umch a

MAGAZINE

I I

baily Arts Mix Tape

U ATE/TIME
E o NIEREDUCTION

UDATE/TIME
NOISE REDUCTION

-- - II I i111111 IlillillO11II1M1111Ig1YM11M1

MIDNIGHT MOVIES AT THE STATE

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Writers: Nikki Black, Jeffrey
Bloomer, Ashley Dinges, Katie
Marie Gates, Megan Jacobs,
Dan Marchese, Amanda R.
Shapin, Doug Wernert
Photo Editors: Elise Bergman,
Tony Ding, Ryan Weiner
Photographers: Alex
Dziadosz, Tommaso Gomez,
Shubra Ohri, Ali Olsen
Cover Photo: Tony Ding
Arts Editors: Jason Roberts,
Managing Editor

In the depts of a northern
winter, the dim lights flicker
like an old lantern. This
week's mix tape is a collection
of songs that pay.homage
to the transgressions we
humans commit. The A side
is all revolver-spinning,
bank-robbing anthems'for
malicious sc emes and
sinister pipe dreams. Side
B is the confessional. It
focuses on the aftermath
of the evil deeds. If the
torment of The Geto Boys
and Joy Division is any
indication, the penance we
force on ourselves may
be our eventual undoing.
Who knows what evil
lurks in the hearts of
men? McGarvey knows.
- Evan McGarvey

1. Children's Story - Slick
Rick
2. 187 (Deep Cover Remix)
- Dr. Dre and Snoop Doggy
Dogg
3. Red Right Hand - Nick
Cave & The Bad Seeds
4. To Hell With Good Inten-
tions-McLusky
5. Glocked Up (T.I. Diss)
- Lil' Flip
6. 9mm Goes Bangs - Boogie
Down Productions
7. Frankie Teardrop - Suicide
8. If I Were Going - The
Afghan Whigs
9. Run - Ghostface Killah and
Jadakiss
10. Shook Ones Part II
- Mobb Deep

1. Comm' From Where I'm From
- Anthony Hamilton
2. C.R.E.A.M. -The Wu-Tang
Clan
3. The Foundation - Xzibit
4. I Am.Not Batman - Mogwai
5. Safe - Scarface
6. Ghetto Qu'ran - 50 Cent
7. Hoist That Rag - Tom Waits
8. She's Lost Control - Joy
Division
9. Mind Playin' Tricks On Me
- The &eto Boys
10. Suicidal Thoughts - The
Notorious 8.I.G.
- Total run time: 84 minutes, 50
seconds

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Adam Rottenberg, Editor

DAILY ARTS. WE KNOW WHO SHOT J.R.
_ . ,. ..,..-.,.-..u . . .. _ .. - ._ r . ,. ..._....... ... . e" -s ~ - _ _ _r. a a ." .

Editor in Chief: Jordan Schrader

i er -e Yy~i +-( -r. ..y. r1si- _j rs r I' 1

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