Wednesday December 8, 2004 arts. michigandaily. corn artspage@michigandaily.com RTs 8 . ... .. .. .. THE HOTTEST PICKS IN ENTERTAINMENT FROM A DAILY ARTS WRITER John Navarre, NFL starting quarterback - Anyone else find themselves rooting for Johnny Ballgame last Sunday? How many quarterbacks can you possibly go through in a year? In related news, e I am now No. 2 on the Arizona Cardinals QB depth chart. They are physically running out of players who can throw a football, people. S"Die Hard" - Most people enjoy the holidays because of the gifts, the family, the parties. I like it mostly because when I fall asleep pre- tending to be John McClain, it just feels more authentic. Best. Holiday. Movie. Ever. Wait - make that Best Movie Ever. "De Capo Best Music Writing 2004" - Annual collection of the best music criticism, journalism and humor. In which a review of the new Lester Bangs book actually eclipses much of Bangs's own writ- ing. In which we learn of Lauryn Hill's spooky spiritual advisor. In :. which we hear the justification for R. Kelly's child pornography habit. As a bonus, we get to watch William Bowers bloom into America's most interesting rock critic. Courtesy of EA Boom! EYE' SORE BOND FRANCHISE RESCUSCITATED TO DISAPPOINTING RESULTS By Forest Casey Daily Arts Writer Pistols, License to Kill, the Stack. Many gamers still fondly remember their favorite multiplayer set- tings for the venerable Nintendo 64 classic "Golden- Eye 007." It is unlikely that a true successor will ever arise, with the original "Golden- Eye" team parceled out between startup company Free Radical and the original parent compa- ny, Rare. Rare, now owned by Microsoft, doesn't even own the license to create James Bond- themed games any longer, sell- GoldenEye: Rogue Agent Xbox, PS2 and GameCube EA story centers on a secret agent deemed too violent for MI-6 who leaves to work for evil mastermind Auric Goldfinger. The plot is farfetched, even for a James Bond game. Fighting techno-villians with bioen- hancements could make gainers long for the realistic beauty of Bond as a Cold War hero. The actual gameplay is just as lacking. EA seems to think that the success of games like "Halo" and the original "GoldenEye" comes with some break- through technological advancement - like dual wielding of weapons or online multiplayer matches. What EA failed to realize is that "Halo," "Golden- Eye" and even popular games like the "Tony Hawk" series are popular because of their perfect control. It seems as if this level of connection between the player and the on-screen agent wasn't even attempt- ed, and the result in "Rogue Agent" is a loose game that resembles a screen saver more than a first-person shooter. "Rogue Agent" sports flashy special powers and cinematic cut scenes so good that they are able to pull gainers in despite the lacking in-game play. The character models in these cut scenes are impres- sive, from Goldfinger's tweed jacket and jowels to M's cropped haircut. It makes one wonder what the original "GoldenEye" would be with a similar kind of artistic direction. The bioenhancements, on the other hand, are ill- implemented. Garners have too many buttons and features to worry about already, they don't need four extra semi-useful functions (MRI imaging? Please.). When it comes to the centerpiece of the original - the multiplayer gameplay that consumed so many hours back in the late '90s - "Rogue Agent" also disappoints. While it does include an astonishing 22 maps, they are not nearly as complex or inovative as those found in the current multiplayer king, "Halo 2." And though "Rogue Agent" does feature online play on Xbox Live, most online FPS garners have already created clans and profiles for "Halo 2." The online feature of "Rogue Agent" would have been a major draw in the three years between the two "Halos;" now it just seems like a moot point. For those gamers nostalgic for the time when the only console first-player shooter worth playing bore the epic title of "GoldenEye," EA's new effort just cannot compare. Dusting off the old N64 and popping in the old "GoldenEye" cartridge would be a better move than purchasing the new "Rogue Agent." Chuck Klosterman - If Bowers is America's most interesting rock critic, then Klosterman is the funniest. His latest article, printed this month in "Spin" magazine, is the type of putty-brained nonsense he's been writing for years. The best part: He knows virtually nothing about underground rock. He's getting better. "National Treasure" - Story- line revolving around a family of treasure hunters? Check. PG rat- ing? Check. Map on the back of the Declaration of Independence? Check. Three weeks as box office No. I? Check. Gun-toting, ste- reotypical European bad guys and a heartwarming kiss? Check and check. Not to spoil the ending, but anyone worried that our "national treasure" is something lame like liberty or democracy should stop fretting: It's a big-ass room of treasure, full of gold bullion, ancient scrolls and shit. ing it to videogame behemoth Electronic Arts purchased it years ago. "GoldenEye: Rogue Agent" is EA's first direct attempt at climbing the mountain left empty after the demise of the N64 - creating a sequel to "GoldenEye." For the most part, "Rogue Agent" follows the EA ethos of James Bond games - impressive cut scenes, an over-the-top storyline and a loud soundtrack. The Courtesy of Miramax Acoustic guitarist Bishop ffies solo on LP Teemo's classic fighter bounces back By AdamERottenberg Daily Arts Editor By Lloyd Cargo Daily Arts Writer si Few guitarists in the world can play as effortlessly and as gracefully as Sir Richard Bishop. A member of the Sun City Girls and a participant in Locust Music's acclaimed Wooden Guitar col- lection - as well as a collector and dealer of rare books - Bishop's playing reflects his worldliness. On Improvika, he blends Eastern and Western influ- ences to create a work that, while free- flowing, is a consistently fascinating listen. It's hard to make an instrumen- tal solo guitar album enjoyable, but Sir The unique meld of lush graphics, solid fighting gameplay and sexed-up vixens makes Tecmo's "Dead or Alive Ultimate" a fighting fan's dream - at Richard Bishop pulls it off with flair. "Gnostic Gem," the second track, is a great introduction to Sir Richard's least the more per- verted ones. The "Dead or Alive" series has always been about the jiggle factor, forgoing gameplay in favor of bounc- Dead or Alive Ultimate Xbox Tecmo elI Re. Interested in getting ahead of your peers? Gain marketing and advertising experience at one of the best student papers in the country!!! Most important of all: Earn some dough in between classes! The Michigan Daily Classified Department is hiring Account Executives for Winter 2005 - Fall 2006. rSn u- .ThaMiAnr kan il nt 410 Mnnnrd style. A dirge with1 "Gnostic Gem" sounds like he's stuck somewhere halfway between an old Western shootout and an Indian raga. The track is a lengthy seven minutes, butI Eastern overtones, Sir Richard Bishop Improvika Locust Music Bishop never loses focus. Another fascinating track is "Cryptonymus" a somewhat atonal stylistic divergence from the rest of Improvika. While it's an interesting track, Sir Richard was wise to keep it to a scant two minutes, as any more dissonance would have been almost unbearable. Bishop succeeds with Improvika because of his ability to build tension by not sticking to one musical idea for too long. He uses inventive chords and unusual melodies while avoiding the self-indulgence that so many other similarly proficient guitarists fall prey to. He never tries to do too much, mak- ing Improvika accessible even for non- guitarists, yet impressive to the most advanced players. It deserves to be stud- ied, dissected, but most of all, enjoyed. ing breasts, exemplified best by the smut-peddling "Dead or Alive Beach Volley Ball," which was little more than an excuse to put the female fight- ers into bikinis. "Ultimate" resurrects the first two "DOA" games on a two- disc set: one disc with the first "Dead or Alive" and one disc with a suped-up version of "DOA 2." Critics often derided the original "Dead or Alive" for its rudimentary three-button control scheme, but it still provided some solid fighting action. The version of "Dead or Alive" includ- ed on disc one is a pixel-perfect, albeit unchanged, port. The one addition the developers included is Xbox Live play- ability for the fighter, but it's unnecces- sary for gainers who will likely spend the bulk of their time with the vastly superior sequel included in this package. "DOA" has not been updated signifi- cantly, and its age shows through. After a couple of nostalgic bouts - and ludi- crously well-endowed female bouncing - players will grow weary of "DOA." Though the first "Dead or Alive" fails Wait! Time out. I broke a nail. to excite a second time around, develop- er Team Ninja has enhanced an already excellent version of "Dead or Alive" on disc two. Gainers familiar with the additions to the PS2 "Dead or Alive 2: Hardcore" will find all of the same fea- tures perfectly intact. Further improving an already solid game is the inclusion of unlockable costumes and characters - making this edition of "DOA" even bet- ter than its sequel "Dead or Alive 3." The "Ultimate" version of "DOA 2" still features the limited fighting scheme, but it is improved upon from the original "DOA." The number of combinations pales in comparison to the deep and nuanced gameplay of "Virtua Fighter 4" or "Soul- Calibur 2," but "DOA 2" beats its competition with its graphics. The new version of "DOA 2" has newly polished visuals that take full advantage of the Xbox's power. The graphics of both the char- acter models and the vast, multi-tiered fighting stages rival the best available on Microsoft's console. The biggest addition and selling point of the set, beyond its buxom characters, is Xbox Live fighting. Players can duke it out online, recreating the bygone days of the arcade era. Why Tecmo decided to improve upon "Dead or Alive 2" for its foray online instead of "Dead or Alive 3" makes little sense, but with all of the improvements, "DOA" runs smoothly on Live. Fans often overrate "DOA" because of its representation of female fighters, which explains the mature rating, but at the same time it shouldn't be completely disregarded because of it. "Ultimate" is a surprisingly enjoyable fighting experi- ence, although not the deepest, and is the best fighter available for Xbox Live. R&B sound of 'Aromatic' leaves listeners in agony By Cyril Cordor Daily Arts Writer S DJ Hi-Tek and underrated producer DJ Khalil of Self Scientific, Aromatic had real potential to be great. Instead, it is another disappointing addition to the wastebasket. lesser known Spontaneous. The incessant strings and the melodic, filtered guitar in the background are a fitting complement to the head-nodding drums. Phil the Agony and Planet Asia just rip it. They feed 4