ARTS The Michigan Daily - Monday, November 15, 2004 - 9A Brosnan loses a step in After The Sunset' By Marshall W. Lee Daily Arts Writer Is there anything sorrier than an action star past his prime? Slightly balding and a bit pot-bellied in his open shirt, ex-Bond Pierce Brosnap shuffles up to a sun-drenched tiki bar and scoffs at all the col- orful cocktails. Through a thin, scraggly beard of gray whiskers, Brosnan orders a Jack Daniels on the rocks, growling at the bartender: "It doesn't have a fancy name, but if it was good enough for Frank, it's Rgood enough for me."f After making a rather profitable career of playing; the ecarming, elegant gentleman rogue, it appears as though Brosnan is desperately trying here to cash Courtesy of Rogue Pictur4's Need some wood? in every last chip of cool, to drive every fancy sportscar and chomp every last cigar before he is forced by fed up filmgo- ers to retire his pistol for good. Set among the postcard vistas of Paradise Island in the Baha- mas, hacktacular director Brett After The Sunset Showcase and Quality 16 New Line Latest 'Chucky' sequel offers nothing new _utesy UofNew Line Ratner's ("Rush Hour 2") "After the Sunset" allows Brosnan to do just that, and the actor swaggers his way through this uninspired heist flick with all the energy he can muster. The movie opens with Brosnan's Max Burdett, a jewel thief extraordinaire with enough gadgets to make 007 jealous, "retiring" to the Caribbean with his inordinately hot girlfriend and accomplice Lola (Salma Hayek). Woody Harrelson plays Special Agent Stan Lloyd, a bumbling Fed who has been tailing his nemesis Burdett for years and believes that the old con's relocation to the tropics is little more than a cover for his next score: the theft of a rare and valuable diamond on display aboard a cruise ship docked just off of Nassau. For the next 90 minutes, the two men attempt to outwit each I used to be James Bond. What happened to me? other, even if it means crawling into the same bed and exchanging homophobic banter. The result is a knowingly preposterous throw-away thriller that is surprisingly devoid of action and suspense. The sudden friendship between Max and Stan is a hard pill to swallow as it undermines the whole tire- less, dedicated federal agent aesthetic of Harrelson's character, but Stan and Max's contrived common ground is positively pitch-perfect when compared to the thief's inexplicable relationship with Lola. The total lack of chemistry between Brosnan and Hayek is vastly overcompensated for with extended make-out sessions and cringe-worthy innuendo. It felt at times as though Brosnan was really acting in an extended Viagra infomercial. Hayek's char- acter seems uncomfortable and unnatural as Max's romantic partner and the actress is asked to do little more than strut and strip - which, in her defense, she does masterfully. Dawdling and anti-climactic, "After the Sunset" is less an original thought than a hodgepodge of moments and characters thoughtlessly plundered from other, better films. Ratner and screenwriters Paul Zbyszewski and Craig Rosenberg owe a great deal of debt (and an apology) to several superior flicks: "Entrapment", "The Big Bounce", "Lethal Weapon III& IV" and "The Thomas Crown Affair," just to name a few. Viewers are suggested to rent one of those before shelling out $8.50 to see this tired rehash. By Ian Dickinson Daily Arts Writer MOVIE REVIEW * The most frustrating thing about modern horror films is the inability or unwillingness of filmmakers to be original. Instead, they reuse ancient gags and remake never great in the tendency contin- ues in "Seed of Chucky," the fifth installment in the "Child's Play" series. In the latest edition, killer doll series that were first place. This Seed Of Chucky Showcase and Quality 16 Rogue Pictures Hip-hop, pop genres mesh on 'White People' p By Forest Casey classic examples of gospel culture stolen - dirty and great, that is. "Thinkin' RZA and white funk band The Mars Daily Arts Writer by Elvis and The Rolling Stones, white " is undoubtedly the high point on the Volta. Automator's arrangements bring artists have had few qualms borrowing album. the same familiar giddy joy that it did to 3 t Imagine tuning into your favorite Top- 40 radio station expecting to hear the latest Jack Johnson single, and because of some massive meteorological disturbance, the signals had been crossed with your city's underground hip-hop station. Instead of a hostile rap takeover, the music coming out of your speakers is more of a mixture, like top 40 filtered through hip-hop's drum and bass. Those of you without expressive imaginations need not worry - expert knob-twiddlers Dan "The Automator" Nakamura and Prince Paul have com- pleted an album just like this, and Hand- some Boy Modeling School call it White People. This crossing of signals isn't anything new. 'From Deborah Harry's interpreta- tion of hip-hop for"Rapture" to the always from black music. White People, on the other hand, takes a different approach, and winds up with mixed results. The pinnacle Handsome of how the inter- Boy pretation of white Modeling music can suc- School ceed comes with a White People guest appearance of the indie-folk Elektra songstress Cat Power on the song "I've Been Thinkin'." A normally stoic and depressed Chan Marshall sings with a shockingly differ- ent flavor: "You can slide, slide, slippity- slide / You can hip- hop, and don't stop / But I'll never be / On my knees." Hear- ing someone so previously dedicated to the soft twang of guitars lend her voice to a song ruled by drums and bass is dirty Because White People is such a con- ceptual and sometimes satirical album, it's more difficult to criticize the songs that didn't succeed. As with all satirical albums, White People needs to be judged on a different scale. After all, a good spoof song can still be bad to prove a point: that the style it is lampooning is itself bad. That being said, there are decidedly bad songs on White People. Unfortunately, The Automator's playground beats can't support Mike Patton's terrible falsetto rapping on "Are You Down With It?," and "Breakdown," which features Jack Johnson, sounds like a simple Jack Johnson song. There's little evidence of any help from HBMS. Fortunately, these failures are few and far between. The more traditional rap songs seem more natural - especially "A Day In The Life," which features the Deltron 3030 and Dr. Octagon's records, creating something supernatural out of RZA's standard rhymes. Tim Meadows even lends the Leon Phelps character from "The Ladies Man" to the song's close, talking about how Handsome Boy Mod- eling School taught him how to wash his penis, and which fork to use for salad and "you know, soup or whatever." As with all of The Automator's records, White People can sound like a revolution. There's honestly none more bombastic and none more willing to take on one conceptual record after another. It's just unfortunate when he misses his mark. White People is no botched experi- ment. Hearing this blend of such different musical styles may be shocking to some listeners, but the conceptual lessons that Handsome Boy Modeling School tries to teach are nothing short of courageous. Chucky (voiced by Brad Dourif, "Blue Velvet") and his wife, Tiffany (voiced by Jenni- fer Tilly, "Bound"), are reanimated in Hollywood by their long-lost son, Glen (Billy Boyd, "Lord of the Rings"). The reunited group hatches a scheme to enter the bodies of the real Jennifer Tilly and rapper Red- man and become a real family, at the cost of a bit of murder and mayhem. "Seed of Chucky" is the fifth chap- ter in a series that's never been worth watching, which is simply the first of many indictments against it. Director Don Mancini, who wrote the previous four editions, follows the same drab formula throughout the film. He fol- lows up some schlocky, unfunny com- edy with unconvincing and repetitive violence, while coupling the murders with cringe-worthy punchlines. This continues for the film's 90 minute duration, only interrupted by some cliche-ridden sexual innuendo. Beyond the film's content, the way "Seed of Chucky" is made is insult- ing to any movie enthusiast. Manci- ni's camera work is a futile exercise in cinema verite that rips off Jotm Cassavettes, wholesale. It is puzzling that Mancini seeks to make a somewhat realistic portray1l of Hollywood with such a cadre of d; List celebrities. The presence of Red- man, Tilly, Jason Flemyng ("Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels) and a poor Britney Spears look-alike is only countered by cult director John Waters, who plays an overzealous member of the paparazzi. Waters's performance is legitimately funny,' but he is sadly killed by a vat of sul- furic acid within 10 minutes of h'is opening line Following Waters's demise, the film is left toirot. Redman andTilly attempt comic relief, to no avail, while Chucky and his wife go on kill- ing sprees, waiting to enter the bodies of their future hosts. The crux of the comedy, though, is Glen's question' ing of his gender. Literally half of the jokes in "Seed of Chucky" revolve around the flet that the doll doesn't have a penis. For an R-rated film, viewers would think, it could get more creative or lewd, but it ends there. Everything in the movie is for- mulaic, from the comedy to the wn'y characters are killed. The film is ' horror-comedy that is neither fright-' ening nor funny, and gets less fright-' ening and less funny as it drags on:- The film isn't disappointing by any stretch, because there was so little' expected of it. If anything, Waters's' performance is a pleasant surpris' but "Seed of Chucky" is only worth watching on basic cable at four in tfre morning, while drunk and unable to change the channel.