The Michigan Daily - SportsMonday - October 4, 2004 - 3B

A.D.D. thought carousel perfect for blowout

Attention Deficit Disorder: A syndrome,
usually diagnosed in childhood,
characterized by a persistent pattern
of impulsiveness, a short attention span, and
often hyperactivity, and interfering especially
with academic, occupational, and social per-
formance. - Dic-
tionary.com
This condition
sounds very famil-
iar. "Persistent"
pattern of impul-
siveness:" After
watching "Any
Given Sunday" and GENNARO
"Johnny B. Good" FILICE
last year, I spent six
hours on NCAA The SportsMonday
2004 creating a col- Column
lege football team comprised of fictional char-
acters from football flicks (yes, my starting
quarterback was "Steamin' Willie Beamen").
"Short attention span:" I regularly attended
church for the first 18 years of my life, and I
can honestly say that I never once listened to
more than 10 words in a row (Sorry J.C., but
you know we're cool).
"Interfering especially with academic:"
I've come to the point where I print out "A
Tribe Called Quest" song lyrics, so I can read
(and with the beat in my head, listen) to my
favorite tunes, while my teacher waxes poetic
about Romanesque architecture.

"Childhood:" I'm 22, yet I still wear a hat
in my column picture.
So, like every other 15- to 22-year-old who
has ever had any trouble concentrating in class
or reading a novel, I've diagnosed myself with
A.D.D. Now I understand that there are some
serious cases of A.D.D., and these definitely
aren't a laughing matter. But in my opinion,
a large portion of A.D.D. "victims" aren't
really that crippled by the 21st century disease
- everyone has it to some extent, some people
just take drugs for it. In contrast to most other
Americans who speak of the syndrome as if
it's the downfall of society, I absolutely love
the effects of A.D.D.
True, I have to spend eight hours in the
library to complete 45 minutes of work. Yes,
I can't talk to a girl for more than five min-
utes without bringing up a play from ESPN's
Top-10. But books and banter (at least of the
meaningless type with the ladies) ain't my
passion. I concentrate my enthusiasm on two
things: watching sports and writing about
sports. And in these two fields, having A.D.D.
is spectacular.
The mind-expanding power of A.D.D.
provides me with constant analysis of various
aspects of sports. I consider myself a huge
baseball fan - probably one of the biggest
on campus. And one of my favorite aspects of
America's pastime is the slow pace at which
it is played. With A.D.D., this downtime is
never dull:

What pitch is coming next? Was Brian
Sabean completely bombed when he decided
to pay Edgardo Alfonzo $24 million? Who's
warming up in the pen? Why does the hot dog
guy keep staring at me? Is Mike Piazza the
had guv from " Teen Wolf?"
Questions like this run through my head
between every pitch and make three hours
seem like 30 minutes.
Although I enjoy A.D.D. as a fan, I think the
most positive aspect of the syndrome is how
much it improves my sports writing. My cre-
ative juices flow stronger than Niagara Falls.
Without A.D.D., do you think I could ever
compare Daniel Horton to Brian, the dog from
"Family Guy?" (They're both relaxed and
down-to-earth leaders, but let's not go there.)
This endless influx of thought also makes
covering ridiculously one-sided, anti-climactic
sporting contests - like this weekend's foot-
ball game at Indiana - manageable.
I documented many feelings from Satur-
day's game for you and here are the ones that
entertained me the most - situation followed
by thought:
3:35 left in the first quarter. Michigan's up
14-0. I spot Willis Barringer.
Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?!? I wonder
what Gary Coleman's up to right now? He
would have made for a sweet bad guy in a
Bond movie.
11:21 left in the third quarter. Michigan's up
21-7.

I wish Mark Spencer would stand to the left
of Spencer Brinton, with each of their backs
to our photographer. What a photo op it would
be to catch Brinton's full name on the back of
two consecutive jerseys.
6:28 left in the third quarter. Braylon
Edwards just schooled true freshman Tracy
Porter for his first touchdown of the day, giving
Michigan a 28-7 lead. I gaze over the Memo-
rial Stadium stands opposite the press box at
the Hoosiers' real complex, Assembly Hall.
How many Indiana fans wish it was Decem-
ber? 1 wonder if anyone ever called Calbert
Chaney "CC." CC's a pretty money name - it
just flows off your tongue so smoothly. Either
way, he was pretty great in "Blue Chips."
2:07 left in the third quarter. Edwards grabs
his second touchdown of the day over the same
true frosh, giving Michigan a 35-7 lead.
How in God's name did this team beat
Oregon at Autzen Stadium? Could Oregon
coach Mike Bellotti tell if his entire team was
outrageously stoned?
Well, it's 1:55 a.m. and my editor is yelling
at me for taking so long (he doesn't accept my
A.D.D. excuse).
Wow, just realized I've also got a short
response paper to write. I'm hittin' the library.
It should take 45 minutes.
Yup, it'll be an all-nighter.

Gennaro Filice can be reached at
gfilice@umich.edu.

TONY DING/Daily
Spencer Brinton's Jersey carries a certain mystique
that only reveals itself to those with A.D.D.

r

EXHIBITION
Continued from page 1B
"I think this game gives everybody a
bit of confidence, especially the fresh-
men," Kaleniecki said. "It's a good feel-
ing to get out there the first game and
get a goal."
Outstanding freshmen performances
are nothing new for Berenson and the
Wolverines. Two years ago Tambellini
tallied 26 goals and 19 assists to lead the
Wolverines in points in his first season.
Last season, Hensick, a freshman at the
time, led the Wolverines in points with
12 goals and 34 assists.
"I think that they are both capable of
scoring," Berenson said. "They're going
to get their points. I'm not going to be
surprised if one of them is up there with
our top scorers."
The Wolverines added six goals in
the second period and three in the third,
including two by senior David Moss.
After a rough initial three minutes of
the game, the Wolverines took control of
the tempo and applied constant pressure
in the Windsor zone. In total, Michigan
took 59 shots, compared to just 14 taken
by the Lancers.
Whether or not Kolarik is the Tam-
bellini of two years ago or the Hensick
of last season remains to be seen. But
the Yost crowd is certainly optimistic.
After the chanting of his name died
down, one Yost fan screamed, "We love
you, Kolarik."
FRIDAY'S GAME

Michigan 12, Windsor 1
Windsor 0 1 0
Michigan 3 6 3

- 1
- 12

First period - 1, MICH, Chad Kolaric (Jeff
Tambellini, T.J. Hensick) 11:45; 2, MICH,
Brandon Kaleniecki (Charlie Henderson,
Tim Cook) 15:57; 3, MICH, Andrew Ebbett
(unassisted) 17:50. Penalties - WIND (Too
many men on ice) 00:38; Kyle Raymond, WIND
(interference) 04:09; Charlie Henderson, MICH
(hooking) 7:05; Chris Sheen, WIND (hooking)
10:01; Nick Martens, MICH (charging) 12:27;
Tim Cook, MICH (interference) 19:28.
Second period -4, MICH, Chad Kolarik (Brandon
Rogers, Jason Dest) 5:31; 5, MICH, Brandon
Kaleniecki (Jeff Tambellini, Brandon Rogers)
6:53; 6, MICH, Jeff Tambellini (T.J. Hensick,
Milan Gajic) 11:09; 7, MICH, Andrew Ebbett
(Eric Werner, Milan Gajic) 13:25; 8, MICH, Kevin
Porter (Tim Cook) 16:24; 9, MICH, David Rohlfs
(Michael Woodford, Charlie Henderson) 17:49; 1,
WIND, Jason Melo (unassisted) 18:45. Penalties
- James Cameron, WIND (interference) 2:28;
Jason Melo, WIND (holding) 6:03; Nick Martens,
MICH (interference) 7:50; Kody Mintenko,
WIND (hooking) 11:35; Matt Hunwick, MICH
(interference) 14:35; Matt Hunwick, MICH,
(slashing) 19:14; James Cameron, WIND (holding)
19:30; Brandon Kaleniecki, MICH (holding) 20:00.
Third period - 10, MICH, David Moss (Chad
Kolarik, Brandon Kaleniecki) 4:29; 11, MICH,
David Moss (unassisted) 13:35; 12, MICH,
T.J. Hensick (Nick Martens, Milan Gajic)
19:00. Penalties - Drew Petkoff, WIND
(holding) 1:03; Charlie Henderson, MICH (high
sticking) 12:47; Jason Dest, MICH (hooking)
14:50; Joe Mollard, WIND (charging) 18:18.
Shots on goal: MICH 23-20-16 59; WIND 6-1-
7 14. Power plays: MICH 4 of 8; WIND 0 of 9.
Saves: MICH, Al Montoya - 13; WIND. Jay
Ewasiuk - 25; Reese Kalleitner - 22.
Referee: Brian Aaron
At: Yost Ice Arena
Attendance: 6,351

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