41 Friday December 10, 2004 arts. michigandaily. com artspage@michigandaily.com ART s 8 ---------- . . . . ... . . .. .. ... .. .. .. . i Marilyn Monroe, version 2.0. Stefani gives fans a reason to doubt I'll tell you what I'd do, man. Two chicks at the same time, man. FINDING NIELSEN DESPERATE NETWORKS SEARCHED FOR WINNERS THIS FALL By Kat Bawden Daily Arts Writer It's been nearly four months since the 2004 fall television season began, which is plenty of time to see what new shows are worth watching for the duration of their seasons. Some have found the audience and status they deserve, and the worst have been weeded out. With the midseason replacements just weeks away, The Daily TV staff takes a look at the best and worst of fall 2004 so far: Must See TV "Kevin Hill" Wednesdays at 9 p.m., UPN Although UPN has the reputation for missing the mark with its programs, "Kevin Hill" is the excep- tion. Taye Diggs is comfortable in his role as a suave lawyer who finds out he has a baby. Diggs is also able to find balance between being a ladies' man and a father. Now, with the custody of his baby at stake, it will be interesting to see how the show evolves. "Lost" Wednesdays at 8 p.m., ABC No other TV drama has as deep a cast of char- acters as "Lost," and that's due to the survivors' enthralling backstories that are revealed each week. Instead of being merely a show about sur- viving on a deserted island, "Lost" delivers plenty of conflict to satisfy the viewer. And the castaways have learned that the island isn't deserted after all, leading to another heart-stopping chapter in what has already been a wild ride. "House" Tuesdays at 9 p.m., FOX Watching the medical drama "House" is like being treated to an extremely sensual back massage, except with more witty banter. It feels good to see the cam- era swoop in stylistically, revealing the inner-work- ings of the human body, and the dynamic camera angles are like the soft hands of a skilled practitio- ner easing away the tension from sore muscles. Dr. House's witty commentary in his interactions with his patients is beyond hilarious. Every episode, while chock-full of thrills and twists, is also gut-wrench- ingly funny and depicts the eccentric and anti-social doctor as a unique physician. "Desperate Housewives" Sundays at 9 p.m., ABC Scandalous primetime soap operas have moved to the suburbs - Wisteria Lane, specifically - and America couldn't be more hooked. The biggest phe- nomenon of the fall, "Desperate Housewives," has helped resurrect ABC by giving viewers attractive, half-dressed women and deadly blenders. The humor - outlandish at times, subtle at others - comple- ments the show perfectly. The suburbs have never looked this good. Average Joes "Joey" Thursdays at 8 p.m., NBC Despite the hype, when Joey Tribbiani moved to Los Angeles, not all "Friends" fans followed. The plotlines have been hit-or-miss, and Joey's new pals lack the chemistry of the New York gang. It still seems hard to believe that the goofiest member of the "Friends" cast could carry his own show. The jury is still out, but a spin-off was a better career move for Matt LeBlanc than making another movie with a baseball-playing monkey. "C.S.I.: New York" Wednesdays at 10 p.m., CBS The endless corpse parade continues as the "C.S.I." franchise trucks on. This time, the ever-popular Gary Sinise and Melina Kanakaredes hold the magnifying glasses in this successful drama series. The New York edition was not given the fanfare of the Miami spin- off and, due to its already dark surroundings and tone, lacks the more glamorous atmosphere of its glitzier relatives Biggest Losers "Dr. Vegas" Fridays at 10 p.m., CBS "Dr. Vegas" tanked so hard that its existence has been wiped from the network's online records, which, considering the quality of the program, is probably a good thing. Mixing Rob Lowe in the ultra-hip stylings of Las Vegas with the ultra- square stylings of medical jargon and business management, "Dr. Vegas" was bound to be a com- plete flop. Not even the recent gambling craze could have saved Lowe's latest effort. And, as the worst scripted show of the season, it simply isn't worth the effort to continue writing about this debacle of a show. "Clubhouse" Tuesdays at 9 p.m., CBS "Clubhouse," a trite series focusing on the most boring teenager alive (Jeremy Sumpter) and his job as batboy for a fictional baseball team, wound up cheesier then a Hallmark TV movie. Christo- pher Lloyd and that guy who used to be Superman (Dean Cain) couldn't even help in their limited supporting roles. Thankfully, CBS benched "Club- house" for good. "Father of the Pride" Tuesdays at 9 p.m., NBC Riding the wave of CGI success on the big screen, NBC brought "Father of the Pride" to help revive a demolished lineup. The cliche jokes fell even flatter as a result of the injuries of Roy Horn because no matter how much you really dislike Siegfried and Roy, it seemed slightly wrong. The adult-oriented plotlines didn't help induce laughter either. "Laguna Beach" Tuesdays at 10:30 p.m., MTV "Laguna Beach" showed viewers why rich, pretty high school kids were really nothing more than that. Billed as "The Real O.C.," the show delivered on a visual level, but dull conversation replaced any substantial drama. The Spring Break episode saved the show from being a complete disappointment by giving what the viewers expected: drunken yelling and random hookups. The rest of season was noth- ing but a letdown. - Compiled by the Daily TV/New Media staff Not everything gets better with age. At 35, punk princess Gwen Stefani has finally allowed herself to indulge in the glorious kingdom that is pop music. Her first solo album, Love, Angel, Music, Baby, is disappointing, but certainly not surprising (especially after Rock Steady). Watching her recent career is like watching someone addicted to partying indulge themselves inG unhealthy plea- Gwen Stefani sures as they Love, Angel, slowly destroy Music, Baby their life. One Interscope might comment, "Wow, Gwen's really let herself/her talent go." The counter-argument, is, of course, "Well, she's been in the music biz for so long, she's allowed to kick back and make something shallow and have a good time." The songs are catchy and playful, but musically vapid - pure fluff. It would be possible to feel bad for Stefani and her new career path if it didn't look like she was hav- ing so much fun. As such, it's just embarrassing. The subject matter - complete with descriptions of a lavish lifestyle, break-up songs and making fun of the poorly-dressed - is pathetically immature for a 35 year-old woman,.and, when aug- mented by sing-song pop rhythms, the album sounds like the product of 13-year-old girls who watch too much MTV. Need proof? Listen to "Hollaback Girl,".in which Stefani yells, "This shit is bananas / B-A-N-A-N-A- S" Shouldn't she be talking about marriage - considering her recent betrothal to Bush's mouth-watering frontman, Gavin Rossdale - chil- dren, politics, the societal impacts of something or anything even remotely mature? She had more depth when she was 24 with blue hair, making progressive statements about womanhood in America, writ- ing songs with a backup band and being able to say more about soci- ety than "this shit is bananas." In her early Tragic Kingdom days, her uniquely whiney voice was showcased as art, but now her vocals sound as mechanic as the electro-pop background. It all blends together in a busy and amorphous musical blob. Songs like "Cool" or "Luxurious" are reminiscent of elevator music. The album probably would have been huge 10 or 20 years ago when light dance-pop songs were revered. But today it just sounds outdated with lyrics about catfights, breaking up, making fun of rich girls and hook- ing up in cars ... typical teenage girl stuff. For all those grown ska kids still pining for another Tragic Kingdom, prepare to feel abandoned once again. Even a cameo from Andre 3000 can't salvage this album. It's understandable that Stefani has to compete in the cutthroat world of pop princesses and aging divas, but can't she find a balance between fluff and substance? I I Plan's latest 'Getting Any' simply resistible Dolls play in the rain on heartful 'Live' By Jacob Nathan Daily Arts Writer The precocious poster children of horrible punk-pop have struck again. A Simple Plan, in perhaps their first stroke of genius, has titled their new album Still Not Getting Any. Despite their major-label money and painfully over-coiffed hair- cuts, the reason A A Simple Plan Still Not Getting Any Lava pose of reminding the listener that A Simple Plan's members are sensitive. The song then quickly descends into the over-distorted, underwritten medioc- rity A Simple Plan have become so well known for. Despite the emo-inflection of the lyrics, the band fails to convince the listener that there is any reason to feel bad for them. A pronounced lack of energy bogs down the album. The lyrics and music are shallow and self-indulgent, but A Simple Plan could have put up a fight by injecting some excitement into Getting Any. The song "Thank You" is a perfect example: It is bad from the get-go, but once the bridge kicks in and A Simple Plan decide to make it a ballad, the song becomes laughably bad. The real problem with this album becomes crystal clear on "Me Against the World." By replacing the word "music" with the word "world," A Sim- Simple Plan aren't getting any is clear after listening to this dreary, uninspired album. As for the content, there is nothing even remotely enjoyable or worthwhile on this album. "Welcome to My Life" features acoustic guitar for the sole pur- ple Plan has cleverly avoided any Brit- ney Spears comparisons. After a quick listen, however, the similarities between this song and the pop-diva's hit are strong. They are poorly constructed and formulaic, with repetitive verses and unoriginal instrumentation. The feigned anger is not believable, as their pop pre- sentation and upbeat tones make it a hard sell. Because A Simple Plan cannot be convincingly pissed off, the album, and especially this song, flounder. "One," the official closer, is complete- ly incomprehensible both in its structure and sheer existence as a song. "We're the pain you feel / We're the scars that don't heal / We're the tear in your eyes." This convoluted language and lack of clar- ity are prevalent throughout, moving it from really bad to historically terrible. The untitled bonus track is intriguing. It sounds as if it is a tongue-in-cheek parody of '80s power ballads, except it By Jerry Gordinier Daily Arts Writer Music REVi E There is a torrential downpour in Buffalo, New York. It's that kind of oppressive rain: cold and relentless. It comes down in sheets, soaking the worn crowd in Buffalo's Niagara Square. A few umbrellas pop up, but most of the fans raise their arms to the sky. They are there for one reason. No one is more The Goo Goo Dolls Live in Buffalo Warner Bros. aware of this than Watching the Goo Goo Dolls home- coming performance on the DVD included with "Live in Buffalo," there is something magical in the air. Even absent the rain, which doesn't fall until the last third of the show, the songs fill the night. The raw instrumentation is the most notable aspect, evident in "Black Balloon" which beautifully jux- taposes delicate acoustic picks against evocative piano. The album gives no hint as to when the storm starts, a cred- it to the band's professionalism. During the show, however, the shower gives the show an epic, almost religious, quality. The slow, precise, acoustic work of "Iris" plays against painful mandolin, and gives way to quick, distorted, elec- tric lines. "Iris," a song of longing and heartbreak, pours like the rain from the storm. Sadly, absent the atmosphere of the performance, the songs lose a little something in comparison to their orig- inal recordings. The most appealing Johnny Rzeznik, lead singer of the Goo Goo Dolls. Soaked to the bone, staring out from the stage with a sly smile on his face, Rzeznik stops and takes it all in. The soft acoustics of "Here Is Gone" begin to fill the night. Johnny plaintive- ly asks, "It feels good, don't it?" aspect of a ballad are the vocals, and Rzeznik can't match his production values. This is especially noticeable in songs such as "Big Machine," when it feels as though Rzeznik is talking more than singing. There is a unity, a differ- ent kind of intimacy, in the live produc- tion. This comes from Rzeznik's harsh, plaintive voice. It comes, however, at the expense of vocal range. Some critics may say this album, like many live releases, is only for the die hard fans. To some extent they are right, as simply hearing the album is not justification to purchase it. Yet, there is something special about this Independence Day concert. There is a love of music in that band, playing against nature, playing for its fans. There is something in those fans with their arms raised to the sky. Live in Buffalo has heart. DVD: *** CD: ** 'Rover' combines sexual tension and humor on0 By Emily Maletic For the Daily The play tells the story of a group of English soldiers, vacationing in the West Indies, on a quest to have some fun. During their trip, the soldiers ing story, but it is unique in that it was written by one of the first female playwrights of English his- tory, Aphra Behn. Behn's plays were I FIE ~ARTS UMLWAIW