4 - The Michigan Daily - Friday, December 10, 2004 OPINION
+ + -w 420 MAYNARD STREET ALEXANDER HONKALA THE { C iiaucE
ANN ARBOR, MI 48109 NOTABLE
to&edaily@michigandaily.com QUOTABLE
JORDAN SCHRADER
EDITED AND MANAGED BY Editor in Chief
STUDENTS AT THE
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN JASON Z. PESICK '' Gays and lesbians
SINCE 1890 Editorial Page Editor
are taking their
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of the Daily's editorial board. All other pieces do not rightful place as'
necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily.fl t n
full citizens.."I
-Leaders of the group Equal Marriage for
h " Same Sex Couples, responding to a
U n 'vl e.1 trs1 n sdecision by the Canadian Supreme Court to
x--111111_1 .:11 allow same-sex marriage, as
govt pan will inya e students p vacy reported yesterday by washingonpost.com____,_
nro11ing in college soon could does not yet know enough about the
... plou on a eI eIstry.database proposal to . T he need for noise
As firs.......p.rted in the Nov. on it, Unversity spokeswomnJlee n e O O S
26.issue of The Chronicle of Higher Petsn said.
Education and later by The New York -i order to enact the proposal, Co ZACK DENFELD 8-BIT CRITTIC
Times, a recent Departm.ntof Ed grs ..s rn the.Department of
cation proposal wold at t build the hen I told feeders, adding some much-needed fertiliz- Noise is also central to DJ culture. DJs
database of enrollment rc* rds . w. database. .Congress would be people on the er to the ground from which popular culture and VJs have aliases because they want
all college and university students. required to amend the Family Educa- East Coast is spawned. After a decade of cool hunters their edges to be a little fuzzy. They want
Thgh th r smay be meant to tional Rights and Privacy Act, whih that I was moving to Ann and culturejacks over harvesting the forest to live a little mythically, musical super-
serve audible goals, it uninecessarily forbids colleges and universities that Arbor this summer, the of pop culture, the noise movement is try- hero-dom. You can Google and get a pic-
jeopardizes the privacy rights of stu receive federal funds from releasing most common response ing a little renewal. ture of my world, never mind what the
dents and should be rejected. most studeit records wi was "Isn't that where Noise is never repeatable, it is always other data collectors got on me. I have
The proposal opens another front sion from parents or an adult student Wolf Eyes is from?" I new. started adding a little noise to my trail.
in the B .ush adninistration's ongoing This requirement underscores the guess it is. In information theory, there is a scale I'm a squid squirting my digink for pro-
campaign for accountability in pub potentially devastating impact to I have only heard a that goes from redundancy to information tection. I have started posting to places I
lic education, with its sights.nw setstudents'.ivacylhe new database few albums, and never seen them live, but to noise. With FOX News redundancy being would never otherwise venture online. If
on institutions of higher education could bring. As the rising oc ,r- noise was certainly all the rage wherever spread across the land via Clear Channel- you Google me now, you are going to be a
The government claims the proposed.e of identity theft cas shows, I traveled this summer, and for many, the owned stations and a general lack of any little confused.
database will provide more accurate databases containing idetifying band Wolf Eyes is the poster children of the reliable information in our media or pop The best hope for your kids in the 21st
information in evaluating collegesIn .ationi such as Social Security scene. culture, is it any surprise the kids are turn- century is to name them John Smith. They
performances by better acquiring always poses a serious threat of mis- Living in New England in August, I ran ing to noise to balance things out a little? might be able to find a little solace in all
information about retention and grad. use. Despite the Departmen.f Edu into a burgeoning circuit-bending com- Noise flies in the face of the infinite the interfering signals. Unless you want
nation rates, while also tracking arn cation's claim that it would forbid munity. Artists and engineering students reproducibility without quality loss that them to be a member of the reality-TV
institution's tuition fees. outside access to the database, the modify mass-produced electronic toys and digital technology has given us. Noise, in talk-show-circuit-society-of-the-spectacle-
Colleges anduniversities currently potenta.for inasins of stdets keyboards to make fucked up artwork that video, in audio, in performance, is often set, in which case you should intentionally
are only compelled to provide infor- privacy is significant. I today' s splutters, boips and gurgles. physical, making your ears and body hurt, misspell their name. Maybe something like
mation to the government concen worldt, there will likely be pressure Instead of making homemade synths or your eyes bleed, reminding you of being a Karoline, Mikal or Miisi.
ing students who receive federally on the government to use this infor- even writing patches on the now ubiquitous human. If publication is a self-invasion of priva-
financed student aid; they also give mation to check every conceivable MAX/MSP software, these kids were get- Noise music and culture can not really be cy, the digital revolution makes us all sus-
the government information about record on individual students in the ting their hands dirty recycling and can- appropriated. Now that the cycle of main- ceptible. A little noise is just what we need
overall enrollment, graduation' pric name of national security. Under the nibalizing disposable electronics. That's stream appropriation of organic under- to cover our trail and keep thing safe, until
es and financial infrmation without proposed intiative, privacy invasions part of the noise scene. Making something ground culture is down to only a few days, we figure this whole privacy-freedom-real-
identifying individual students. The will not be conlined to just the time out of the waste of our consumer society. there are very few forms of spontaneous ity thing out.
new proposal demands colleges and a student is enrolled - the Depart- All those cyberpunk novels with cannibal- revolt that are possible. Slipknot and Insane So I say: Detune your guitar, gut your
universities give the government data ment of Education plans to keep stu- ized technology seem to be a self-fulfilling Clown Posse can sell the kids the noose to casio and re-wire that thang, make video-
on all students individually and iden- dent records indefinitely. prophecy. hang themselves by, and cell phone com- feedback shows at your party, and be sure
tify every student by his Social $ecu The creation of a government In our always-on electronic environment mercials can play songs about the Ramones to create some fake web postings. Join the
rity number. database that tracks an individual the garbage is really starting to pile up. singing about Nazis, but it's gonna be pretty noise revolution and fade into the safety of
Proponents of the proposal argue as a consequence of enrolling in an Sampling culture started the renewal pro- hard for anyone to sell noise music to the white noise.
the criteria for evaluating the per institution of higher education has cess, but in a way, noise really mulches all masses. This cultural movement is a defense
f aneof hige a g nsti- he potential to bringgreat harm to the shit we're faced with everyday. Noise mechanism against the total annihilation of Denfeld can be reached
tutions are skewedbecause current individual privacy rights and per- folks are worms; little punk rock bottom- free spaces in the underground. at zcd@umich.edu.
fedea guidelines for calculating sonal freedom. The government can
graduation rates do not track trans currently track enrollment, gradua-
fer students4 Furttherm re pro- tion rates i f colleges and Stars gone w ild ... again!
ponents contend the new system unversities, and if necessary,a
would allow institutions t0 calcu devise a system.tat.re.ains.the..SOWMYA KRISHNAMURTHY AI.I AI IE R AM PARTEM
late net tuition prices because the nymity. of. dividual identities. The
government would have data on an governmlent does not need to, and
individual's tuition rates and finan.. should ntimplfieet this dubious Jwrote a column last throwing things. Artest has been suspended make our unattainable indiscretions pos-
lid records The University tatabase.term.censuring the for the rest of the season and charged with sible.
manner in which one count of assault and battery, a misde- Tabloid sales and our insatiable appetites
r^ celebrities are incessantly meanor that could bring three months in thrive upon scandal. From actress Winona
pardoned for their bad jail and a $500 fine. Four other Pacers and Ryder's shoplifting to Paris Hilton's taped
behavior. In light of recent seven fans were charged similarly. Inciden- sexual exploits, celebrity is a world where
CeaO -n G e b t of professional music and the NBA 10 prior times. any publicity is good publicity.
^ sports, it seems my point The very next day, football players from More disgusting than relishing in celeb-
year after voters appred the fhe ai ebears repeating. Clemson and the South Carolina were sus- rity idiocy is turning it into the status quo.
Gs fding-towns.ips The first incident of violence erupted at pended for one game by their conferences We expect the rich and famous to be insolent,
.Arbor to buy up land and save elected s.many pro-environment the Second Annual VIBE Magazine Awards. for brawling on the field. get arrested, have extramarital affairs, etc.
it from development, city residents have candidates this November. But ayear Just as magazine founder Quincy Jones and Now pundits are scurrying to find answers. Those who do are rewarded with recording
yet toseeasingle acreofandpurhased beforethat, in Novembe2003,Hieftje . rapper Snoop Dogg were about to give Uber Clemson head football coach Tommy Bowden contracts or blockbuster movies, whereas

r r the purpose of conservation, and the expressed his hope to have the Green- producer Dr. Dre a lifetime achievement audaciously blamed his fracas on the fact those who walk the straight and narrow are
ty remamns months away.f any belt Adviso.ry Commission appointed award, Jimmy James Johnson approached that players watched the Pistons/Pacers fight neglected. In the aftermath of the Pacers/Pis-
potential acquisitin. According to the by the following January and the first Dre in what appeared to be a request for an highlights prior to the game. After all, the tons scuffle, Ron Artest has used his suspen-
Ann Arbor News, those familiar with}piece.of land purchased by 2004. autograph and punched him. Mob mental- only thing better than watching a good bout, sion to increase his visibility. Visiting the
the plan cdai initial land procure~ments.Uffortunately, the City Coun.cilid ity ensued, and the audience of about 1,000 is following it with an even better one, right? talk show and publication circuits, he shame-
wifl begin by this sumnmer. Ht he nine-member advi- began shoving, throwing chairs and punches, Some place blame on inebriated fans, jealous lessly promotes his new rap album, the type
hesquabes between prgraad -sory commission until June and~ ha and fleeing toward exits. Sometime during of successful athletes. But my favorite expla- of promotion few new artists can secure. But
ha dey show yet to securx.any land from theegret- the melee Johnson was seriously stabbed. nation comes from VIBE Magazine president for every Ron Artest, there is a relatively low-
no signof million table fate of development. Police arrested rapper and Dre protg Young Kenard Gibbs, who tells Billboard, "There's a incident player like Grant Hill, whose recent
endowment....d w -staffed advi-.Whileieftjeattributes the slwdown . Buck of G-Unit fame in connection with the common theme to all this, young black males comeback will never gain the same amount
sory commission finally in place, there on bureaucratic delays wibin the city's stabbing; he was later booked on charges of gone wild." of spotlight.
is litte justifiat fr a f r ag n rproa process, it seems attempted murder and assault with a deadly Spare me the politicizing. This is not Suspensions or arrest warrants are moot
Greebelt impleentation. Taxpays d quarreling among council members has weapon. a black and white thing. It is not the fault if they are not reinforced with an attitude
not deserve to watch such an important alsbeen asourceofthe setbacks. Some But the Vibe Awards pale in infamy to of rap music, videogames or whatever the change. With their cadre of lawyers, after all,
venture be sidetracked by admxinistrative key Greenbelt bakes expected to be the fight that broke out during the Nov. 19 scapegoat of the week is. The root cause of most celebrities receive a slap on the wrist in
n g.g appointed to tihe advisory commission Indiana Pacers and Detroit Pistons basket- this deplorable behavior is us - the society court. We have created a monster, and now
Since the program's inception.a.d.were overlooked, raising inball game. By now, most of us have seen that forever condones a "stars will be stars" that monster has smashed a few buildings.
series of disagreements ever the diiios Oncth commission's mem- the brawl footage ad nauseum, but for those mentality. Celebrities themselves are not abdicated of
Greenbelt's budget have intensified - bers were finally put into place, they who have been living underneath a rock, Celebrities act badly for the simple fact personal accountability by any means, but it
culminatingin a debilitating political then had to pass bylaws and come up here's a synopsis: John Green, also known that they can. Celebrities are worshiped, is we as fans that must send an explicit mes-
fallout among its top 'adrhip offi- with criteria f assessing which land to as the "man in the white hat," tossed a cup placed on pedestals to the point that they sage with our support and pocketbooks. We
cials. Doug Cow;hrd,.the co-chair- buy andpre sevet.-.which the commis of beer on Indiana's Ron Artest and then can do no wrong. We love living vicariously cannot expect the worst from our best and
manof the Sierra Club's HuronValleysion just approved last month. Befoe proceeded to throw punches. This ignited through the lives of our favorite stars, espe- brightest.
Group and one of the Greenbes' any andcan be purchased, membhersmof Artest and fellow Pacer Stephen Jackson to cially when they are breaking the rules;
first major proponents, has publicly the City Council misthuire an admin charge into the stands and fight with fans, moral and legal conventions we are forced Krishnamurthy can be reached
splt with Mayor John Hlieftjover istrator; it hopes to fill the position by who themselves exacerbated the matter by to abide by are off limits for them. Stars at sowmyak@umich.edu
the pace of the project's impienmenta- early January. The pace of this bureau-
tion. "Every week," Cowherd told the cratic process contrasts.. sharply with the
Ann Arbor ws, "agents f r devel- rgent need to preserve land from going LETTER TO THE EDITOR
opers are Out knocking on doors in to developers that is commonly cited in______________________________________________
the townships. looki~ng .fkr landewners support of the Greenbelt.
who will sign options to lock up their After a yearofGunnecessary holdups, Transcript changes will professors alike, especially in smaller,upper-
property for future development" it is timefor the Greenbelt proposal to notlevel courses where individual attention can
The longer the program is stalled, the be put into action Ann Arbor voters allow every student to master difficult mate- 11W IN ThE REAL WORLD?
more time developers havetofacqutire enacted the Greeubelt1tosee land con rial. Rigorous upper-level courses with very
vacant and agricultural land. served, not to watch developers grab To THE DAILY: intelligent students earning As and Bs may
Enthusiasm for the G2reenbelt and more land while residents wait for the I am surprised both by the College of Lit- now look "easy" due to their high averages, DALY NEws.
ther anti-sprawl initiaties wIas one City Council to act. erature, Science, and the Arts's adoption of when this is by no means the case. An A in