w w w w w w I IC iviiuiiignii LJdII5I - I IIUICUdy, L~C5eIIIUnI C, L5.15.J'+ - CD 4B - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, December 9, 2004 TWINKLE, TWINKLE: WINTER FASHIONS AT 'U' 7 ~ ]knee-slappin' homnoeroticism w it h And r ew G ae r ig IT AIN'T YOU, BABY, IT'S ME By Leab Hangarter to a shade more similar to that of Rudolph's Daily Arts Writer nose), I didn't wander to the upscale shops lining Main Street, choosing instead to peruse Ladies of The University of Michigan, this the stores on South University Avenue, State winter is your time to shine. Literally. Win- Street and East Liberty Street. ter 2005 announces a season of indulgence in I began my adventure at YCI on South Uni- the glitter and tinsel once reserved for after- versity. YCI's collection of designer jeans con- school craft projects. Festive sequins and sistently attracts many University students. sparkly fabrics are draped on racks of local Shelves lining the walls overflow with the stores, producing constant excitement for eyes popular denim brands, ranging from Sacred that have been dulled by hours of studying. Blue to Juicy Couture. Directly below the rows Forget the understated trends of past seasons; of jeans, I noticed that YCI is celebrating the this year is all about releasing your inner star Lacoste phenomenon, selling numerous polo through luxurious tops suggestive of our solar shirts and sweaters bearing the classic alligator system's celestial bodies. logo. As displayed in the storefront windows, Of course, glitter and shine are not your the glitter trend is in high swing at YCI. Dur- only options. ing my Traditional wool visit sweaters, cozy Forget the understated trends of past seasons; this year to the hats and scarves is all about releasing your inner star through luxurious store, a are also filling tops suggestive of our solar system's celestial bodies. woman up the stores bought as winter snow a pair makes its way to Michigan. Ann Arbor's stores of sky-high silver stilettos - the same pair offer a range of styles, catering to the variety that had sold just a half hour earlier. Silver of University students' tastes and desires. shoes are one of the many items jumping into In preparation for the onset of winter and the hands of students. For those still averse a new year of fashion, I spent an afternoon to sparkle, a Fray fern green halter-top with discovering what local stores are offering for yellow corset style ribbon is one of the most the upcoming winter season. Staying close to unique and flattering items. home in order to avoid the cold (and my face's After browsing through the jewelry at Plan- resulting transformation from its usual color et, I decided to see what Middle Earth is offer- ing this season. Middle Earth boasts a large jewelry collection and caters to those living on a student's budget. Amid jewelry imported from around the globe and brightly colored throw pillows is a petite display brimming with magical flora-inspired jewelry. The jew- elry is inspired by nature, capturing original details in bronze, sterling silver or gold. Gar- net raspberries, freshwater pearl blackberries and bronze lilac leaves are some of the rep- resentations of nature's beauty in the form of delightful jewelry. These designs, by Michael Michaud for Silver Seasons, offer a choice for students tired of what are still the biggest sell- ers - chandelier earrings. Middle Earth also boasts thin, dangly earrings. Always energetic and lively, Urban Out- fitter's glowing windows never fail to attract student shoppers. Once inside the door, I was drawn to a scarf adorned with sequins and velvet ribbon - a prime example of winter sparkle. Urban provides innumerable style options, but certain items shouldn't be passed up. While the store creates trendy ensembles, Urban's casual clothing is where the store really excels. Women's crewneck short-sleeve T-shirts are made from an extra-fine knit that gives an incredibly soft texture. The shirts come in a variety of colors, and the shape is flattering on all body types. Continuing with the casual and cozy theme, each winter, Urban serves up a variety of wool, tweed and twill trousers - this year being no exception. These pants are perfect to pair with the nubby wool cardigans and sweaters sold in moss greens and earthy beiges. Urban is also one of the only stores in Ann Arbor to provide a large selection of winter coats for both men and women. Following the indie-emo trend, the men's section displays blazers and layered T-shirts ft la Seth from "The O.C." Urban also offers men a decent selection of jeans. However, for men and women's jeans, the best store in Ann Arbor is undoubtedly Biv- ouac. Bivouac carries the most complete collection of designer jeans - James Jeans, Seven for all Mankind and Diesel are just three of the many names on display. Bivouac is also the source of outerwear seen on many students, most notably The North Face. The women's section offers a few other jacket styles, but Urban provides a larger variety. While Bivouac remains the only store close to campus to sell outdoor adventure supplies, it is also the only store to sell the newly trendy ergo SOY candles, whose aroma was notice- able as soon as I set foot in the store. Tucked away in the Nickels Arcade, I have walked past Henrietta Fahrenheit numerous times without ever setting foot inside. My hesitation resulted from my imagined real- ity of the store: a version of Acme, but with clothes instead of martini glasses. I didn't See FASHION, Page 8B The revolutions and revelations that have been uncovered in this very space over the course of the last semester have, no doubt, been one of the highlights of your college experi- ence. I am not (obviously) too humble to admit as much. To suggest that I have been unaware of the campus dialogue surrounding this column space, to sug- gest that I've ignored the bundles of e- mails that I've received (a grand total of zero so far, slack-asses) would be to publicly decry the sort of popularity that I desire, and quite frickin' frankly, have earned. Indeed, at the beginning of the semes- ter, I promised to provide you with the sort of undampened genius that most people have to pay a lot of money for. I've ignored the warnings of other minor campus celebrities about the throes of fame: Lloyd, Chad, Mary Sue - thanks but no thanks. I've snubbed petty warn- ings from my roommates about how "people might not be as interested in reading 700 words about you as you are in writing them." Poppycock! I made a promise to this campus, and neither petty jealousy nor the good intentions of my good friends will deter me. All of that being said, I've got to warn you folks - at the beginning of the semester, I was worried that you would become too dependent on my layered prose, that my witty insights and ulti- mately life-changing words wouldthrow you into a state of irreparable shock. For the most part, campus, I commend you, because while I do sense some lingering dependence out there, you've adjusted to me remarkably well. No, I'm afraid what I'm about to reveal to you, campus, is far more disturbing: lt ain't you, baby. It's me. I swear. You see, while you were salaciously lining up at the newspaper racks at sun up every other Thursday morning, I was doing a little soul searching. Worry not: The majority of what I found down there was as genuinely awesome as you mtght expect. What I did learn, unfor- tunately, is that I'm really more like a genius factory than a genius distribution center. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" you ask. "Haven't I written a column on being patient yet?" I answer. "No, you haven't," you say longingly, "though I bet that would make a great column. Besides, waiting is hard. I'm really looking forward to the expla- nation." I would be remiss if I did not reward this type of flattery. All this means is that I can't just pack up and ship out the genius in neat little 700-word packages whenever you people demand it. Stuff like this takes a little while to manufacture. There are production costs, like food and shelter and constant, sincere ego-feeding. And even when all of the inputs are supplied in full, there's a sort of fermenting pro- cess that goes on in my factory that I can't really explain that well. Suffice it to say that if this stuff left my head pre- maturely, it wouldn't be pretty. I must give credit to you, public: You've been very patient. This column, therefore, is aimed at the people who regularly expect me to deposit genius at their doorstep in a basket like some unwanted bastard child. Jt's not that easy, people (for one, it's hard for me to part with this stuff - I love it dearly). I've routinely tried to explain this to my editors and professors, to no avail. I've reminded the editors of this very maga- zine that "sometimes it takes a long time to write this shit. Like, more than two weeks, sometimes." They continue to impose their genius-crushing "dead- line." I've discussed this at length with -professors, who have repeatedly threat- ened to "fail" me (as if!) if I don't "turn in my assignments." My roommates keep demanding a "rent check" under threats of my "personal safety." I'm hoping that the factory analogy, therefore, is a sufficient explanation for the way my brain works. I'm resisting the urge to pull out the seed-to-giant- oak-tree and caterpillar-to-beautiful- butterfly comparisons, but I'll warn you: Such contrasts are not below me. You've just got to give me some space. You've got to give me time. Mostly, you've got to kiss some serious ass, because I won't be around forever. And I'm not too proud to pull out the "you don't know what you've got until it's gone" clichd, either. You've been well warned Andrew is president of his own fan club. If you love him as much as he loves himself; send him some kind words at agaerig@umich.edu. Quite frankly, any old Road Rules cast- off can hold your demon-seed. We're talking prime reality-show babes here, and your misplaced lust is indicative of your barbarian breeding habits. PInt|C o U n t e r poi n t POINT: THE QUEEN OF 'LAGUNA BEACH' By Alien Daily Arts Writer There's a rea- Sson you see Kris- tin, the resident Aphrodite, ascend from her infin- ity pool during the intro to "Laguna Beach." MTV knows its demographic and its demographic loves them some boobies. As part of an intergalactic aliens species, I've seen my share of world- class tail (literally) and let me say this once and for all - Kristin is beyond hot. She's Mandy Moore with a bet- ter body, she's sex on legs, and every time I see her I just want to incubate some eggs in her chest. That space rat Predator might try and tell you that heifer LC is the superior slice of babe pie. Piece by piece, LC is inferior. Her thighs have more cottage cheese than a Greek salad and, well, she doesn't have a lot going on upstairs. There's a rea- son that pretty boy Stephen chose Kristin. Sure she's a bit of a spitfire, but who doesn't love some drama? It'd be worth having some fights just to reconcile in a hot tub with some snuggling. Word. Kristin is a sun-kissed beauty with a voice like a choir and a face Cara- vaggio could not have captured. Did I mention she is absolutely stacked? COUNTERPOINT: KRISTIN HAS NOTHING ON LC By Predator Daily Arts Writer squared, and we're starting to border on undesirable. Predatorwishes And I didn't want to have to bring they all could be this up, but you aren't exactly "selec- California girls. tive" when it comes to mating partners. And sometimes, they can be. So while Alien is up there longing over some frumpy Midwestern transplant, UMSCtOO MUat LC and 1 are lounging in an endless DEATETF Orange County summer, basking on THETE & DAM the porch of her incredibly wealthy DC. 94A' 7:3 PM father's mansion DEC.10&enA8PM - You think Kristin is better looking, DEC. a2 AT 2Pt do you? Her friends make her look PowER CENTER good the same way you made Sigour- ney Weaver look feminine. Couple that with a bitch-factor that comes in at somewhere around Sigourney- .Phsts Sy ALI 5LSEN and sHUnRA 5HRUD l