I Monday January 26, 2004 arts.michigandaily.com artseditor@michigandaily. corn RTS 5A Teacher gets duped in 'Fiance By Katie Marie Gates Daily TV/New Media Editor Twelve years ago, MTV began what was then a fresh new genre of televi- sion. With the first season of "The Real World," reality TV was born. Since then, seven strangers have given birth to five wannabe boy-band stars, 16 money-hungry survivors, 25 eligi- ble bachelors and bachelorettes and now one "Big Fat Obnoxious Fianc6." FOX's latest attempt at origi- nal programming takes the now tired My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance Mondays at 9 p.m. FOX idea of "reality" by FOX to annoy Randi and her fam- ily throughout the engagement, to sabotage her chances at winning and potentially to ruin her life. The premise is ridiculous but brings some laughs to counteract the many tears Randi is bound to cry throughout the course of show. Het gullibility is the biggest outrage of the melodrama as she accepts each of Steve's bizarre and outrageous actions as genuine attempts to win her love and impress her folks. The audience may initially feel sorry for her, but remember, she was stupid enough to sign up for a mystery real- ity TV show. Confessionals with Steve reveal his arrogant attitude about Randi, which will make it even easier for her to hate him in the end. The quali- ty of his acting skills is debatable but he is certainly willing to be overly obnoxious and even shed clothing when necessary. The host of this reality disaster, Claudia, is of course frustratingly overdramatic but adds something past reality hosts have lacked: sever- al pounds of make-up. The over-the- top face paint is a sharp contrast to the soft tones of the show's beautiful star and makes "My Big Fat Obnox- ious Fianc6" even more unbearable. Courtesy of DreamWorks I think you're a bit too much man for me, Tad. BAD FIRST 'DATE' GRACE, DUHAMEL FLOP IN DEBUT AS LEADS and subjects Randi, a schoolteacher from Arizona, to 12 days of engage- ment to the most obnoxious man imaginable. Duped from the begin- ning, Randi has no idea what the premise of her reality nightmare will be and is shocked to learn she must pretend to be in love with a perfect stranger. She is even more surprised that the show purposely found a mis- match for her in the overweight and unmannered Steve. Randi and Steve must convince Courtesy of FOX Welcome to my world, sweetheart. Randi's family that they met on a reality TV show, have fallen in love and plan to get married. If they can make it to the altar and through the ceremony with all of Randi's family present and without objection, Randi will win $500,000. What she doesn't know is .that Steve is an actor hired By Zach Mabee Daily Arts Writer MOVI E REVIEW Certain films can be helpful lessons in restraint; they're invaluable learning experiences that sharpen the critical skills and analytical acumen of any viewer. "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!" could be thought of in this positive light, although it probably shouldn't be appreciated for much else. It's hard, though, to imagine a movie Win a Date built on such shaky foundations actu- with Tad ally amounting to anything worth- Hamilton! while. "Tad" follows a small-town, At Quality 16 and country bumpkin, Rosalee Hutch Showcase (Kate Bosworth, "Blue Crush"), as she DreamWorks journeys to California to go on a date with the man of her, and most girls', dreams, actor Tad Hamilton (Josh Duhamel, TV's "Las Vegas"). The date is intended simply to be a charitable prize for a contest winner, but the night evolves into much more. Tad falls head over heels for Rosalee's southern charm and innocence. The two become passionately involved, and the only roadblock to their eventual life together is Rosalee's boss, friend and hapless romantic admirer, Pete (Topher Grace, TV's "That '70s Show"). The story unfolds into a valiant struggle by Pete to capture, once and for all, the object of his relentless affection. "Tad" is difficult to grasp from the outset. Its laughable premise is tantamount to the story behind the recently concluded "Legally Blonde" series, and the presentation reeks of self-parody more than anything else. It's as though the minds behind it were whimsically inspired to make a movie and did what they did for their own enjoy- ment above all else. That's not to say that moviemaking shouldn't be, for those involved, an enjoyable undertaking, but "Tad" trans- fers very little of the makers' enjoyment to the hearts of viewers. It skates by precariously, for probably the first half of the film, on empty jokes about Hollywood fads and female adoration for Tad. And then, after an hour of useless goings-on, the film attempts to satisfy sentimentally with a syrupy romance. The characters of a backwoods West Virginia town emerge from the woodwork, spouting off axioms about love, friendship and the good life. The small-town girl and local bartender wax sagacious and romantic and probably touch quite a few hearts in the process. Not everything is wretched; "Tad" certainly has its redeeming qualities. Gary Cole, most commonly remem- bered as Mike Brady from "The Brady Bunch Movie," delivers an enjoyable performance as Rosalee's foolish father who instantly becomes a film and martini connois- seur to impress his daughter's famous beau. Grace and company provide some charming, awkwardly humorous moments, as well. If, however, you're able to see through sentimental stratagems aimed at charming-your heart, and you can't appreciate a movie in light of only a few comedic scenes, then you'd better use this "Tad" to hone your critical eye and learn to avoid similar out- ings in the future. Vandersiee elaborates on pop roots By Andrew M. Gaerig Daily Arts Writer MUSICREVI EW* Too many singer/songwriters indulge in the pleasure of economy. The hushed tones and nascent hum of an acoustic guitar are well and fine, but they no longer make for John compelling the- ater. Sure, every Vanderslice once in a while Cellar Door some prodigy Barsuk gets lucky (ahem, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, etc.), but for the most part, an over-reliance on simplicity for the sake of some sort of natural state has led to boring, tepid music. Fortunately, John Vanderslice throws down at the other end of the spectrum. The rare songwriter who has logged more time pushing faders than re-hashing a C-G chord pro- gression, Vanderslice saturates his creations with pulsing electronic rhythms, horns, strings, keyboards and the kitchen sink. All this is not to say that Vanderslice, who has been releasing solo records since 2000, is some unknown entity. His songs don't sound out of place, just dense, and Cellar Door, his latest, is no exception. Vanderslice's head may sit in front of the mixing board, but there's no denying that his heart is steeped with classic pop: Todd Rundgren and Roxy Music are convenient touchstones, but Vanderslice, to his credit, has crafted a unique, if vaguely familiar, sound. The tip-toe balladry of "Wild Straw- berries" is slight and lovely, and the warm thump of "When It Hits My Blood" carries the 1970's drug-song torch through sweet harmonies. "Promising Actress" is a clear high- light, adding a gorgeous chorus to some of Vanderslice's best lyrics. Elsewhere, Vanderslice shows his talents as a producer, to mixed effect. "Pale Horse" benefits from fuzzy drums and winding guitars, but "Up Above the Sea," despite some pretty organ breaks, can't overcome its heavy-handed electronic rhythms. "Heated Pool and Bar" struts along mightily on makeshift percussion, and "My Family Tree" supplants a slow beginning with an optimistic rush of affected guitars and slashing strings. However, "Coming and Going on Easy Terms" shifts too fre- quently, often into melodramatic key- board bursts. On Cellar Door, Vanderslice fur- ther solidifies his reputation as a mas- ter craftsman, but his penchant for excess could probably use a bit of editing. For all of its strengths, the record occasionally suffers both from ill-advised experiments and from a monotony of tempo and tone. A bit of help could turn Cellar Door, already an intriguing and fulfilling listen, into a true work of art. 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