4 4 - The Michigan Daily - Friday, January 23, 2004 OP/ED UJwtcI$~m tfd 420 MAYNARD STREET ANN ARBOR, MI 48109 letters@michigandaily.com opinion .michigandaily . com NOTABLE QUOTABLE SAM BUTLER THE SOAPBOX EDITED AND MANAGED BY STUDENTS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SINCE 1890 LOUIE MEIZLISH Editor in Chief AUBREY HENRETTY ZAC PESKOWITZ Editorial Page Editors We have had a very Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority of the Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily. serious anomaly on the vehicle." weQll.. e' RT ~Iai-5oek ~a 2.00+ AC ) I ) - Pete Theisinger, manager of the $400 million Mars mission, after NASA lost contact with the Spirit rover, as reported yesterday by CNN. A trickle of tragedy DANIEL ADAMS $29 OR TWO FOR $50 t's been an up-and- stops. You got Chuck Berry. You got primo hot coals, mention words like "America," down week in poli- food and drink. You cracked open the war chest. "Terror" and "Regime," as often as possi- tics. Here are my And Iowa handed you a pathetic fourth place ble, and solidify your upcoming re-election picks for the big win- finish. While Al Sharpton remains in the race, bid. Granted, I didn't watch the speech, ners and big losers of you bow out, hoping that they kept your seat preferring to spend the time barricaded in the week: warm for you back in Washington. They didn't, my room, but from the transcripts, I hear Howard Dean: Still so join Carol Moseley Braun at the bar and toast that its stuttering cadence and jingoistic reeling from getting your not having an ounce of electability. message were pure rapture. upset in Iowa, you Verdict: Big loser. There were so many successes for you decide that you're going John Edwards: One month ago, everyone Tuesday evening: the numerous television to give a fiery, Pat- wrote you off. But you stopped telling the shots of the token minorities in attendance, tonesque speech to staff and loyal supporters. "my daddy was a mill worker" speech, you the embarrassing shots of Ted Kennedy Good. That'll fire them up for a hard battle in flossed once a day and said your prayers slumped in his chair, even your good for- New Hampshire. But that's not what you did, and you finished a strong second in Iowa. tune in making it through the whole thing Howard. You rolled up your sleeves, started Now, instead of being jammed in the trunk, without any major gaffes. However, possi- talking really loud and made strange falsetto you are riding shotgun going into the fast- bly your biggest victory of the night was pirate noises. You read a list of states, imply- approaching South Carolina primary, where when you read a long list of nations that ing that you were going to fight hard in each. your southern background and toothy smile supported the war in Iraq. Included in the Maybe, but you scared the shit out of every- will pay dividends. Kick it up a notch, and list was El Salvador. Excluded from the one there, and Howard, you won't win South you might find yourself toe to toe with Karl list were China, France, Russia and Carolina. They don't like carpetbaggers, Rove and the Bush Boys. Nice. Liechtenstein. Nevermind that of the long minorities or Yankees. Verdict: Big winner. list of nations that you read, only a handful Verdict: Big loser. Wesley Clark: Wes, you were my boy, matter, and fewer still could the average U.S. House Minority Leader, Nancy Wes, you had the military credentials to be American find on a map; the list itself was Pelosi: In an attempt to comment on the State tough on Bush's foreign policy. But a total so long that it appeared as though you of the Union, you instead appeared bug-eyed lack of domestic policy has left you dead in cared about the international community. and crazy. the water, and now, you content yourself I'm sold. Verdict: Big loser. with pathetic potshots at the real contenders. Verdict: Big winner. John Kerry: Holy crap John, you're on Good luck in New Hampshire, but Iraq won't U.S. troops stationed in Iraq: I'm sure the scoreboard! Voters managed to look win this one for you buddy, and it's taken you found the president's optimistic pro- past your painfully elongated facial fea- you two months to realize that. jections about Iraq moving. The downside tures, your Gore-like mannerisms and your Verdict: Big loser. is that after the speech ended, the fact that shameless pandering and rewarded you Al Sharpton: ? you're all stuck in a bombed-out, poverty- with Iowa. You're a Kennedy with no Verdict: Push. stricken, semi-anarchic shell of a nation charisma, but you beat the odds. Sadly, you President Bush: Instead of giving an became painfully obvious once again. Plus will face inevitable defeat at some later actual depiction of the state of the union, side: Bush is a "glass is half full" kind of date, either at the hand of your own party or you took some liberties with the speech, guy. Down side: The glass isn't half full. by the great Bush machine, but enjoy the and despite suffering from what has to be a Verdict: 500 Americans dead and rising. moment. It's Millah Time! bona fide speech impediment, you made Verdict: Big winner. efficient use of a mere 50 minutes to suc- Adams can be reached Dick Gephardt: You brought out all the cessfully rake your Democratic foes over at dnadams@umich.edu. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR 4 4 Columnist Joel Hoard went overboard in criticizing Bush's faith, Christianity To THE DAILY: Please leash your columnist Joel Hoard. On Thursday, Joel wrote a touching piece (How to tell a 10-year-old her president sucks, 0 1/22/04) about his distaste for Pres- ident Bush. While the column is typical of the rampant factless Bush-bashing which is tiresomely prevalent on this campus, I wish not to debate that issue. However, to call Christianity "baseless faith" is incredi- bly insulting. If you wish to take potshots at Bush, fine, but leave the world's roughly 2 billion Christians out of the fray. A little advice for you: While name-calling and slander may bring you the praise of those who agree with you, foaming at the mouth will not win over anyone. Also, slandering one particular Christian, our president, is politics; slandering all Christians is some- thing completely different - it's bigotry. ERIC DuEwEicE LSA senior Abstinence education is a logical way to stop the spread of STDs To THE DAILY: Because Joel Hoard has made the assumption that President Bush's agenda contains no common sense (How to tell a 10-year-old her president sucks, 01/22/04), let me counter by making the following claims regarding abstinence education. Claim 1: Every single person who con- tracted a sexually transmitted disease through sexual intercourse had sex! I know, this is a mind-blowing revelation, and I apologize for stretching the bound- aries a little bit. But dare I go on? Claim 1 a: If having sex were the culprit for contacting an STD, the obvious preven- tion is not having sex. This is not a 'Chris- tian' argument (which ironically, you seem to claim for nearly every sort of irrational my logic doesn't make sense. MAT SCHAAR Alumnus Cagers' fans should unify and rally behind team To THE DAILY: After losing three straight, to go 1-3 in the Big Ten, the men's basketball team is down right now. They are in danger of a poor show- ing in the conference schedule and could miss out on the NCAA Tournament. This sort of situation brings out fans like Joey Litman, who seems to surface every time something goes wrong. He writes letters to the Daily telling Coach Amaker and Coach Carr how to do their jobs or that they should be "ashamed," such as he did in Thursday's letter (Cagers need an offense that puts the ball in the net, 01/22/04). The same guy who, two years ago, cut and pasted hundreds of e-mail addresses to make sure the entire Maize Rage membership knew that he was opposed to the leaders' encouraging stu- dents to cheer loud and unify behind a struggling team and that the thought of being expected to wear a maize shirt is ludicrous. Some fans use this as an opportunity to blame coaches and players, thereby finding an outlet for frustration. True fans step up their support of the team, knowing that this is the time it needs us the most. I want to see everyone with basketball season tickets out in force at Crisler on Wednesday night, and support your team more than you ever have before. Others who haven't yet attended a basketball game should take this as an opportunity to see their first game. Tickets are less than $10. We're still in very decent shape for the NCAA Tourna- ment, and with two home wins coming up against Iowa and Purdue, we would be in much better shape. We need to forget about complaining, unify as a university and will this team on to victory. PETER LUND LSA senior Coach Amaker deserves biggest jokes in the entire country. Three years later, Tommy Amaker has completely transformed this program, bringing respect, pride and integrity with him, along with tons of talent and substantial increases in wins each season. He has personally invigorated the fan base, engaged the student body, and "anonymously" done everything he can to get us excited about basketball again, and it's working. Look past the 1-3 conference record for a moment and see the improvement from last year already (10-5 overall). I also must take issue with the prepos- terous interpretation of Bernard Robin- son's quote. Perhaps Litman never played high school ball, but I for one have played "open," motion offense as far back as mid- dle school and to think that precludes dis- cipline and structure and shot recognition is absurd. Michigan has certainly played selfishly and carelessly of late, but that is not a reflection on the system. Players can throw the ball away just as well in Michi- gan State's offense as any other, and it would be foolish to assume that employing such a system would magically change things. We would also do well to remem- ber that we're talking about freshmen and sophomores. They are young. They will make mistakes. And they will get better. Opposing sentiments to the contrary, Michigan basketball is back and it's only going to get better, losing one key player over the next two years! I for one am sin- cerely excited to see how this team will mature and progress, and I offer Amaker my thanks for the resurrection that has transpired since his arrival. Get off his back and enjoy the ride. JEREMY AKINS Rackham 'U' needs to create better programs to reduce environmental impact To THE DAILY: While it's great that the University is working proactively to reduce our impact on the environment, putting up signs throughout campus advising students to turn off the lights is not the way to accom- I 4 4 wilt ii: i . s . . r z. tt t : vc x .y vx c .r I .)iVlG .' l :i."! kTL[i. k..ti ;;iVE41 F.7.t 1 U