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2B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - Thursday, November 20, 2003
Random for Blue, though family Buck Nuts

The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine -
A guide to who's where,
what's happening and why
you need to be there.. The Weekend List

By Scott Serilla
Daily Arts Editor
Random: Hello?
The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Sarah
there?
R: Urn, no. Can I take a message?
TMD: No. What's your name?
R: Melanie.
TMD: Hey, Melanie. It's The
Michigan Daily. We're doing the
famous Random Student Interview
right now. Do you have a few minutes to
answer some questions?
R: Sure.
TMD: Excellent. Could you define
"metrosexual" for the folks at home?
R: Um, somebody who may dress or
act in a flamboyant manner that may
imply homosexuality, but in actuality is
not gay.
TMD: Do you think that for a guy,
being called a metrosexual is a bad
thing? Is there a negative connotation?
R: Not if the person is comfortable in
their own sexuality.
TMD: Are you going home for
Thanksgiving?
R: I am.
TMD: Where's home?
R: Rochester, N.Y.
TMD: Quick Thanksgiving quiz.
Stuffing or cranberry sauce?
R: Stuffing.
TMD: Turkey or pie.
R: Apple pie.
TMD: Oh, that was the next part of
the question. Moving on, mash pota-
toes. With or without lumps?
R:: Oh, with. Definitely with. Not
like cafeteria food.
TMD: OK, sub-question. Should the
gravy have lumps too?
R: No gravy.
TMD: Bold choice. Football or nap?
R: I guess that depends if Michigan
is playing or not.
TMD: We don't usually play on

Thanksgiving.
R: Then nap.
TMD: Who would win in a fight
between Grimace and the Hamburglar?
R: Who?
TMD: Grimace, the big purple
guy ...
R: Oh, OK ... Hamburglar.
TMD: Trick question. The correct
answer is that Mayor McCheese would
come in and regulate. Who in your mind
is the University's most famous alum?
R: Ew, umm. No idea.
TMD: Indecisive or you just don't
know of anyone?
R: I'm not from in state, I don't
know.
TMD: No presidents of the United
States or famous playwrights? Anybody
who was in "Charlie's Angels: Full
Throttle?"
R: What would you say?
TMD: I would go Lucy Liu over
Arthur Miller and Gerald Ford, but
that's my business.
R: I didn't know Lucy Liu went here,
but I'd still go with Arthur Miller.
TMD: Breath freshener of choice? I
need the format and the flavor.
R: Blue Orbit gum.
TMD: What flavor is that?
R: It's blue or turquoise.
TMD: Any thoughts on the Border's
strike?
R: I prefer Barnes and Noble.
TMD: That's an easy way to get
around it. People are scrambling to get
last-minute housing for next year. Did
you figure something out?
R: I'm going to stay in South Quad
next year and try to get a house for jun-
ior year.
TMD: Cool, that's what I did. New
roommates?
R: Me and my friends are going to
try to all get together.
TMD: One of the quads?
R: Hopefully.

TMD: We're ordering a late-night
snack. ,What should we get on the
pizza?
R: Garlic.
TMD: Like whole cloves of Garlic?
R: If I could get it, yeah. Depends on
who I'm with.
TMD: Yeah, you got a special fella
with you might want to rethink that.
But, that's none of my business. Where
should it be from?
R: Cottage Inn.
TMD: What was the last really bad
movie you saw?
R: Hmm ... (asks friend) what was
the name of that one, about the college
student.
TMD: Who was in it?
R: I don't remember. It's from '73.
TMD: You don't remember the name
or any of the actors but you know what
year it was made?
R: "The Graduate?"
TMD: You didn't like "The
Graduate?" Are you out of your mind?.
R: I wasn't in the mood for it.
TMD: Jesus, let's move on quickly.
Is Jay-Z really gonna retire?
R: Who cares.
TMD: Who cares? It's Jigga, it's J-
hova! You're from New York and you
don't care about Jay-Z?
R: Upstate New York, there's a dif-
ference.
TMD: Well should your senator,
Hillary Clinton, run for president?
R: Not right now.
TMD: What about the MSA elec-
tions? Did you vote?
R: I'm planning to tonight.
TMD: Not to pry but do you mind if
I ask which way your leaning? Which
party you're leaning toward?
R: Students First.
TMD: Is that because you love the
color orange? What part of their "plat-
form" has hooked you?
R: I like the idea of expanding the

LSA majors and minors, getting more
opportunities.
TMD: Are you looking for some-
thing not currently offered?
R: No, I'm thinking about maybe
Spanish.
TMD: If you could train a mon-
key to do anything for you what
would it do?
R: Um, go to lecture and take notes.
TMD: What kind of reward would
you give the monkey if he came back
from Spanish class and had taken really
good notes?
R: A pldtano.
TMD: That's a banana, right? So
would you just want a Spanish monkey
or an English monkey, who was famil-
iar with Spanish?
R: I think I'd rather get a Spanish
monkey.
TMD: Good call. Big question of the
day. Is Jacko guilty?
R: What?
TMD: There's a warrant out for
Michael Jackson's arrest.
R: For what now?
TMD: I think it's more molesting of
little boys. In your heart of hearts, do
you think he did it?
R: Yeah. This keeps coming up and
he's creepy.
TMD: If you could vote one planet
out of the solar system "Survivor'-
style, which would it be?
R: None of the planets have done
anything to me in particular.
TMD: I know, but one of them has to
go.
R: I go with the group, I don't know.
TMD: Oh, jeez, sheep! Don't you
think that Uranus hasn't been pulling its
weight?
R: Wha?
TMD: Never mind. Are you going to
the football game Saturday?
R: Of course.
TMD: What if a drunken, obese

Ohio State fan offers you $300 on the
way to the game? Would you sell?
R: No way. The thing is, my family,
my parents are Buckeyes.
TMD: Your parents are Buckeyes?
R: My whole family, on both sides,
all went to Ohio State.
TMD: Really?
R:: It's true.-
TMD: You're the black sheep of the
family?
R: Yeah.
TMD: Or, are you the only white one
in a family of black-colored sheep?
Think about *it that way. Why did you
come to Michigan?
R: Well, let's start with a comparison
of the two schools. Superior academics?
TMD: True.
R: More opportunities?
TMD: Yeah, and Ohio has a funny
smell.
R: Oh, I actual didn't go for a visit.
TMD: If you had, you would have
noticed the whole state smells like cab-
bage. Ask your parents.
R: It can't be as bad as New Jersey.
TMD: Yeah, Jersey has a slightly
worse smell. So was it a huge deal
for you to come here? Did you really
wanna tell your parents "Hey I'm
different?"
R: No, my parents were cool, they
really wanted me just to go to the best
school, and Michigan was it.
TMD: Obliviously. OK, why don't
you make a prediction then. Give us the
score of Saturday's big game.
R: I don't know. Ohio State sucked a
lot last week, so I'm gonna go 47-13.
TMD: Wow, that is a hearty victory.
R: I don't want to sound too over
confident, but I know we're going to do
really well against them.
TMD: Let's hop your right. Well,
thanks. Look for this in Thursday's
Weekend Magazine.
R: Yeah, no problem.

Films opening

Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat
Alright, give the guy a chance. He does
have an extensive collection of
nametags and hairnets. And yes, he still
lives with his parents, which he admits is
quite bogus. But he has his own cable

access show - and he still knows how
to party. Party on, Cat At Showcase:
12:15, 12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 2:30, 3:00,
3:30,4:15,4:45, 5:15, 5:45, 6:30, 7:00,
7:30, 8:00,8:30, 9:10, 9:40, 10:30,
11:15, 11:45.

Films holding

Brother Bear I'm going up to the spir-
it in the sky ... that s where I'm gonna
go when I die ... when I die and they lay
me to rest I'm gonna become an
obnoxious little bear and run around
with a couple of foolish moose in rain-
bow land. At Showcase: 12:25, 2:25,
4:25, 6:35, 8:45.
Elf Being a human elf really would not
be a bad deal: Kicking it up north and
playing with toys all day; working and
playing with people half your size; wear-
ing a fuzzy suit and hat and some cool
pointed shoes. I better stop here before
I encourage dropping out of school. At
Showcase: 12:20, 12:50, 2:40, 3:10,
4:55, 5:25, 7:05, 7:35, 9:20, 9:50,
11:35, 12:05.
Gothika Call me a chauvinist and sim-
ple-minded, but Halle Berry won her
Oscar for taking a very liberal approach
to her dlothing policy Psychological
thrillers like this obviously aren't her cup
of tea. Stick to what works, sweetheart.
At Showcase: 12:30, 1:00, 2:45, 3:15,
5:00, 5:30, 7:25, 7:55, 9:45, 10:15,
Midnight, 12:30 (Fri and Sat). At
Madstone: 1:05, 3:10, 5:15, 7:20, 9:35.
The Human Stain They say a scan-
dalous affair with a buxom beau and a
friendship with a prodding writer are the
two best remedies for a racist professor's
woes. Go figure. At Madstone: 1:00,
3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:40.
KiN BE : Volume 1 The second vol-
ume better give David Carradine some
on-screen time; he was the first and
coolest martial-arts-movie badass! All I
can say is that Tarantino better be grate-
ful to the "Kung Fu" star. If he's not, then
that cocky lerk deserves a solid ... oh,
yeah, violent threats can't be printed.,
Oops. At Showcase: 11:40.
Looney Tunes: Back in Action
Great. Our sincerest thanks to everyone
on the Looney Tunes Production Team.
Brendan Fraser has been brought back
in a lead role, and his presence, coupled
with that of Keanu Reeves, has saturated
the film market with goons. At
Showcase: 12:55, 1:25, 3:05, 3:35,
5:10, 5:40, 7:20, 9:45.
Love Actually I pity anyone who
enjoys a film starring Hugh Grant. Get
over his damned boyish smile and
sappy British accent Grow up, people.
At Showcase: 1:05, 1:35, 4:00, 4:30,
6:45, 7:15, 9:35, 12:20 (Fri and Sat) At
Madstone: 1:10, 3:55, 7:10, 9:45
Master and Commander: The Far
Side of the World Captain, come up
to the deck; I think we've spotted some-
thing. It looks like a pretentious,
haughty, Australian with his head up his
ass who thinks himself to be the finest
thing since sliced bread. Oh, of course,
it's Russell Crowe. At Showcase: 12:40,
1:10, 3:40,4:10, 6:40, 7:10, 9:30, 10:00,
12:25 At Madstone: 1:15, 4:10, 7:00,
9:45.
The Matrix Revolutions Keanu
should have continued the "Bill and
Ted" series. Think how much more
enjoyment that would have brought to
kids and stoners in need of something
funny to watch. Reeves definitely under-
Phone Numbers: Michigan Theater: 668-8397;t
State: 761-8667.

estimates his ability to play an ignora-
mus - but that's probably because he's
busy leading a folk rock band. At
Showcase: 1:40, 4:20, 7:00, 9:40,.
10:10, 12:10 (Fri and Sat), 12:40 (Fri and
Sat). At Madstone: 1:00, 4:00, 7:00,
9:45.
Mystic River C'mon, people, join the
sing-a-long: "Down by the river, I
stabbed my best" ... ohhh, so you all
haven't seen the movie yet? That's too
bad. Maybe we can continue our song
some other time in the future. At
Showcase: 9:55, 12:35. At Madstone:
1:30, 4:15, 7:05, 9:45.
Radio You have to wonder whether
Cuba Gooding Jr. is swimming in debt.
He's done nothing but crappy movies
lately, and it seems reasonable to think
he's trying to make some quick bucks.
Maybe he's developed a fancy for nose
candy. Oops, did I say that aloud. Yeah,
I did. At Showcase: 12:05, 2:20, 4:35,
6:50, 9:05, 11:20. At Madstone: 1:00,
3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:45.
Runaway Jury John Cusack likes to
toy with us occassionally by doing
movies that aren't worth his or our time.
For every "High Fidelity" there just has to
be a "Con-Air," doesn't there, Johnny.
At Showcase: 11:00. At Madstone:
1:00, 3:35, 7:30, 9:35.
Scary Movie 3 It's safe to say that
David Zucker had pretty solid success
with 'Airplane." This is ust a thought,
but why doesn't he lend himself and the
folks making "Scary Movie 3" some of
the advice he gained from "Airplane:"
Movies are better without sequels. At
Showcase: 12:10, 2:20, 4:05, 6:15, 8:15,
10:25, 12:15. At Madstone: 1:15, 3:20,
5:25, 7:30, 9:35.
The School of Rock It seems that sev-
eral weeks of Tenacious D references
have taken their toll on you readers. Jack
Black is a funny man; this is a funny
movie. Go see it at any of the many
times listed. Farewell. At Showcase:
Noon, 2:15, 4:40, 6:55, 9:15.
The Station Agent Amid all the crap
floating around out there stands this
monument of utter creativity. Who in his
right mind conjures up a plot about a
lonesome divorcee, a wandering hot
dog stand vendor, and a dwarf with a
passion for locomotives? This is genius,
damnit At Madstone: 1:25, 3:25, 5:25,
7:25, 9:30.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre You
may think Leatherface to be an ugly,
good-for-nothing, country bumpkin
who, in the slump of middle age, still
resides at his folks home. But have you
ever seen him saw off a leg? I hear he
does a great Red Foxx, too. At
Showcase: 8:10, 10:25, 12:35.
Tupac: Resurrection Was Tupac's
death ever confirmed? Did the authori-
ties find a body? How are we in TV land
to know whether he really bit the bullet
a couple years ago? They like to tell us
that the story's told through old inter-
views - that's what they want us to
think. Don't believe his lies. At
Showcase: 12:35, 2:55, 5:20, 7:45,
10:05, 11:30, 12:30 (Fri and Sat).
Quality 16: 827-2837; Showcase: 973-8380;

Thursday
CAMPUS CINEMA
11'09'01: September 11 The film's
website is in a foreign language, and
there's no information listed on the the-
ater pages. The title does seem fairly
revealing, though. Michigan Theater:
7:00, 9:45.
Lost in Translation Wild Bill retums
to town with love on his mind and
Tokyo on his plane ticket. Oh, yeah,
they alsosay he knows his way around
a liquor ad. State Theater: 7:00, 9:15.
Pieces of April How cute: Katie
Holmes wants to play a bad girl for
once. Well, not really, he's ust a strug-
gling mother trying to make
Tanksgiving. State Theater: 7:15, 9:30.
Sylvia Female artists need to stop
being so obsessive and emotional. Each
suicidal writer makes the trend more
boring and predictable. Michigan
Theater: 7:15, 9:30.
MUSIC
Leftover Salmon I've leamed the
hard way that eating leftover salmon
isn't always the best idea in the world.
The Ark, 316 S. Main St., 8 p.m. $20.
761-1451.
The Ron Brooks To Now Ronny,
there's some real eye candy.
Sometimes, I just want to lump up on
stage and ... well, nevermind. Bird of
Paradise, 312 S. Main St, 8:30 p.m. $5.
662-8310.
Straylight Run Everyone says the
chick from this band is hot, but I don't
see it Emo kids tend to love anything
female on stage anyway. Blind Pig, 208
S. First St., 9:30 p.m. $10. 996-8588.
THEATRE
The Diary of a Scoundrel This play
is a satirical tale about how society
craves its scoundrels and scandals. 8
p.m., Lydia Mendelssohn Theatre, $8-
$20;734-763-5213.
Shakespeare's Globe Theatre:
Twelfth Night Hinging on illusion,
deception, and disguises in pursuit of
true love, Twelfth Night utilizes a cast of
all men, the practice in Shakespeare's
time. With boys playing girs who are
disguised as boys, the p ay's hilarious
sexual confusions become all the more
potent. 8 p.m., Michigan Union
Ballroom, $55; 734-764-2538.
MISCELLANEOUS
Irish Step Dancing Show The
University Irish Dancing Club is at it
again. This performance will feature
hard shoe and soft shoe pieces the likes
of which are seen in "Riverdance." 8
p.m., East Quad Auditorium, free.
Friday
CAMPUS CINEMA
11'09'01: September 11 See
Above. Michigan Theater: 7:00, 9:45.
Lost in Translation See Above. State
Theater: 7:00, 9:15.

Showdown at the Equator N
me at the equator. Midnight, cc
alone. Blind Pig, 208). First St.
p.m. $6 ($9 under 21). 996-8588.

council meeting to see Cher in coi
cent? Yeah. The Necto, 516 ELiber
St.,10 p.m. $5 ($10 under 21). 994
5436.

THEATRE
Damn Yankees This play has sedu
tion, a pact with the devil, and baseba
promising to be an enoyable eveninc
8 p.m., Power Center, 8$3
Shakespeare's Globe Theatre
Twelfth Night See Thursday.
Sleuth In this play, the RC Players wi
present a British suspense drama fille
with adultery, murder, and gumshoe
8 p.m., East Quad Auditorium, $3-$5.
The Diary of a Scoundrel Se
Thursday.
Saturday
CAMPUS CINEMA
11'09'01: September 11 Se
Above. Michigan Theater: 7:00, 9:45
Lost in Translation See Above. Sta
Theater: (2:15), (4:30), 7:00, 9:15.
Pieces of April See Above. Sta
Theater: (2:00), (4:15), 7:15, 9:30.
Sylvia See Above. Michigan Theate
4:00, 7:00, 9:15.
MUSIC
Days of the New Remember, the
had that song a couple of years bad
that sounded like every other song
couple of years back. Blind Pig, 208
First St, 9:30 p.m. $10. 996-8588.
Hellenic Cultural Month
Rebetoneira I know all of those ar
words, but I just can't make sense of
Bird of Paradise, 312 S. Main St, 9 & 1
p.m. $5. 662-8310.-
Men's Glee Club FaN Concert If yc

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Pieces of April
Theater: 7:15,:30.
Sylvia See Above.
7:00, 9:15.

See Above. State
Michigan Theater:

MUSIC
Median Joined on stage with long-
estranged former members Mode and
Mean. Elbow Room, 6 S. Washington
St., Ypsilanti, 10 p.m. $5. 483-6374.
Pride Did anyone else see that thing
on "The Daily Show" where some
mayor skipped a an important city

Showtimes are effective Friday through Thursday. Matinee times at State Theater are effec-
tive for Saturday and Sunday only.