2D - The Michigan Daily - New Student Edition - Fall 2003 4 1 need good art supplies! And I'll give anyone here $50 if they can tell me where to find some in this damn town! You're on man. First quit whining, then get off your diaper and head to Ulrich's Bookstore. Heck, I'll even tell you about another store... SIDE A 1. Chuck Berry "School Days" - It sounds like every other one of his songs, and that's why it's so good! 2. Van Halen "Hot for Teacher" - You shoulda seen my Spanish professor. Trust me. 3. Paul Simon "Kodachrome" - "When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school / It's a wonder I can even think at all." 4. MC5 "High School" - Yeah, you're not in high school anymore, but this song still rocks. 5. Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young "Ohio" - It's the tragic story of four kids who get killed by the National Guard ... while at college! 6. Doris Day "Teacher's Pet" - For a truly odd take on this one, check out Parker Posey's rendi- tion in "Waiting for Guffman." 7. The White Stripes "We're. Going to Be Friends" - Brand new shoes / Walking blues / Climb the fence / Books and pens / I can tell that we're going to be friends." Aww... How cute. 8. The Beach Boys "Be True to Your School" - "On (Satur- day) we'll be jacked up on the football game / And I'll be ready to fight / We're gonna smash 'em now." That doesn't sound like the Beach Boys I know. SIDE B 9. Fountains of Wayne "Too Cool for School" - You many think you're too cool for school, but you ain't! Don't be hatin'! 10. Leaders of the New School "Case of the P.T.A." - Class, Prof. Busta will now give a lecture on the intricacies of being utterly insane. Woo-hah! 11. Skee-Lo "I Wish" - "'Cause when it comes to playin' basketball / I'm always last to be picked / And in some cases never picked at all." Poor little fella. 12. Motley Crue "Smokin' in the Boys' Room" - $10 says none of these guys graduated high school. They're bad at everything. 13. Big Star "Septem- ber Gurls" - "I loved you / Well, never mind / I've been crying all the time / December boy's got it bad." 14. The Replacements "Fuck School" - Hey, kids! We can say "fuck" in our school paper! Fuck fuck fuck fuck. 15. The Ramones "Rock 'n' Roll High School" - "I hate the teachers and the principal / Don't wanna be taught to be no fool / Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock n' roll high school." 16. Alice Cooper "School's Out" - It's like, irony, man! Just forget it and rock out! ...for another $50, that is. Spend your money wisely at Michigan Book & Supply. Both stores have really low prices, all the time. ain't that right Fred? rig - That's right. The prices are so low it's always a... ahem... 4 'Ruminations on College Life': a hilaious collection of columns Blast! I hate losing good money! Especially to a bunch of brats like you three! By Stephanie Schonholz Daily Arts Writer The drunken debauchery of scheming Ivy-leaguers and girls, girls, girls in the timeless poetry of Jay-Z, inspired 23-year-old Aaron Karo to start off his comedic career in the fall of '97 as a freshman at the University of Pennsyl- vania. Now as a member of the "real world," Karo, in the same fashion as Candace Bushnell, has published a hilari- ous book comprised of all his monthly columns from four years of college, titled "Ruminations on College Life." "People ask me where the title "Ruminations" came from and honestly I don't know. I don't even think I knew what that word meant back then. Some people probably don't know what it means now," said Karo. Karo's comedic etchings mix the hard edge, raunchy humor of Chris Rock with the offbeat rantings about noth- ing that Jerry Seinfeld was best known for. "If I had to sum the book up I'd say imagine Seinfeld as a frat boy," he added. His tales journey from the freshman dorms through his frat house, stopping to contemplate how to do laun- dry, how to get a girl in bed and how to funnel as many beers in one go as was humanly possible. And yes, he did stop in academic buildings for a laugh and some education along the way. "The book's about my best friends and what happened to us in college, anything was fair game," said Karo. Partying all-night and sleeping all day was the collegiate regiment that Karo, adopted in his first days as an under- graduate in the Wharton School of Business. But come Sunday nights when most undergrads attempt- ed to sleep in order to re-enact the previous week's booz- 'ing and occasional attending of classes, Karo lay awake. His body no longer able to cope with normal sleeping pat- terns and the past week's mayhem still running through his head, he decided to write it all down in an e-mail and send it to his high school friends. His friends proceeded to forward these wild antics to their friends and so on. The phenomenon known to his devoted fans as the "Karo Effect," snowballed into "Rumi- nations on College Life," so Karo created a website, www.aaronkaro.com, as a forum for all his emails and now has a readership of over 11,000 people worldwide. With a fan base spanning the age gap, from kids in high school, to college students in the Midwest, to alumni living vicari- ously through him, Karo's comedic ingenue has continued to intrigue people. Karo's parents "blindly financed (his) excessive drinking habits," he states in the opening pages of "Ruminations," and all those beers and drunken stuppours just might be paying off. Graduating in the spring of 2001, Karo ven- tured the chaos of Wall Street, but has now decided to devote his life full time to a career in show business. From L.A., where Karo is pursuing his dream of making "Ruminations" into a television show or a feature film, he added, "You know, I had four years of material and I thought maybe I could do something with it." Unlike other books about college, Karo doesn't sugar- coat the reality of the pressure cooker - get drunk fast and cheap and hook up combo that comprises college. He tells it like it is, beer goggles and all. Oh shut up and pay up already. And next time you need anything, why not save yourself some loot and go to Ulrich's or MB&S first! I s. Yip D Michigan Book & Supply and Ulrich's Bookstore, Ann Arbor's complete source for the best in art supplies and materials! Paint, ink, and pigments Mediums and varnishes Brushes and canvas Drawing supplies Drafting equipment Ceramic supplies Easels and paint boxes Printmaking supplies Wide selection of art boards Huge selection of art papers by the sheet and pads Good advice Help wanted at the bookstore 317 S. State St. 665-4990 549 S.University 662-3201 U5 I Added benefits: A 20% discount on textbooks AND up to a 35% discount on store merchandise Flexible hours to fit your schedule Career opportunities I ":".::" o":. L". . r'":.J :.: .:"'" ' :.4J . { t fry Y" =L .Y.'.1 .J .r.. . " ;.p. '.. ':: may": " ': L J,. V" iti'.}J. f ' ....:' 2::fic. I I I I I