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10B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - Thursday, October 16, 2003

The Michigan Daily -Weekend Ma$
The real answers

ERIN KAPLAN - y LIPS AREl

In ZMA4LICUP

FOOTBALL & STILETTOS

to roommate woes

The other day, I was contemplat-
ing men and relationships with
one of my best friends,
Michelle. She has been described as
"flighty" or "ditzy" at times, but
every so often, she says something so
dead on that you have to just throw
those adjectives out with yesterday's

trash. The earth-shattering statement
of that particular conversation was
this: Guys want a girl who will sit and
watch the game with them - sans
complaints - a girl who will look
great in the jersey, but not one who
will know a significant amount of
what is actually going on.

Guys want a complacent spectator, not
someone who can quote stats and player
history. This simple analogy seemed to
confirm a decade of questions and com-
plaints on the part of my closest girl-
friends and myself. Can women be intel-
ligent and still seem attractive?
After my little talk with Michelle,

I

and~mpusLifepresent..


India Arie
Monday, October 20, 2003
Doors open at 7 p.m.
EMU Convocation Center

A.

I got to thinking and to asking. I
began to ask my guy friends whether
or not this rather curt and cynical
(neither which are characteristics of
Michelle) statement was true. They
all denied it, each and every one.
And yet ... they all said that it was-
n't that they wanted their girlfriends
to be silent and stupid, but they didn't
want them too "scary." When I asked
them to elaborate, they all gave me
the same answer. They all told me that
I was great - smart, funny, pretty and
intelligent. They told me that I was
engaging to talk to, that I had interest-
ing opinions and yada yada yada.
They then told me that I can come
off as being a little "hard" upon first
meeting. When I further asked for them
to define "hard," they explained that I
didn't let people get away with things,
that I wasn't afraid to speak my mind; I
wasn't afraid to challenge someone.
This was nothing more than what
I've been doing most of my life. If
"hard" meant outspoken, challeng-
ing and independent ... that sounds a
lot to me like talkative, opinionated
and intelligent. For some reason, the
attributes giving me great guy
friends seemed to be my greatest
impediments in getting great guys.
I don't want to make any statement
regarding all men. I'm not trying to
make more enemies than I already
have, but, I can't help but notice that
so many of the guys in my life seem to
fall victim to the trap of pretty, quiet,
nice girls with not that much to say
and without anything that they really
feel passionate about. I don't want to
come off as some crazy, man-hating
bitch (as I apparently have in the
past), but I just am so confused and
bewildered. I have great male friends,
but, I am never satisfied with my male
relationships past that. I feel at loss.
I spent a good part of my adoles-
cence figuring out who and what I was,

and who I wanted to be in relation to
the people and places around- me. I
decided that the West Bloomfield life,
with all its charms, was not for me. I
chose to stop pretending that I didn't
love to read or listen to different music.
I stopped lying about my love for wear-
ing mismatched or homemade clothes,
for being a liberal and a feminist, for
speaking my mind. I decided that I
liked this me better than any other me
I had tried on, and I wasn't going to
take it off. And the best thing was, it
worked! People finally began to
respect me, for the first time in my life.
But now, I seem to have an uncom-
fortable choice to make: be me, the me
I love and have the greatest male and
female friends that I could wish for
and be alone, or, I can go back to pre-
tending that I don't think or have any
opinions. I can devolve back in to the
person that listens to shitty music. I
could stop eating, be skinny ... be like-
able! I don't understand why guys look
for friends in the girls that they become
friends with, but don't look for those
same friend qualities in their girl-
friends. Since when did women have to
lead double lives to be happily satis-
fied in the one life they really lead?
Every time I try on a pair of way-
too-expensive, super-high stiletto
heels, I ask myself the same three
questions: Can I even begin to consid-
er paying these off, how much do I
love them and, most importantly,
where do these fall along the line of
form and function? They may be beau-
tiful, but if they hurt too much to walk
in, then I just cannot justify them. I'm
not looking for Aerosoles here, but if
there is nothing comfy on the inside,
the outside ceases to matter. If I can
have this sense for my worst addiction
- shoes - why can't men have that
same sense about women?
- Erin Kaplan can be reached at
erkaplan@umich.edu.

By Rebecca Ramsey
Daily Weekend Editor
Wanted: roommates who are clean,
quiet and friendly. Must not snore,
complain, eat my food, make a move
on my boyfriend, steal, breathe loudly,
be better looking than myself or make
weird chewing sounds when eating.
References are a plus.
The hunt for the perfect roommate, or
at leasi, the adequate roommate, is simi-
lar to online dating - some people can
never tell who their potential roomies
are, whether they be the real thing or just
dirty old men trying to score. All analo-
gies aside, some students may have an
easier time selecting a residence for the
next year than with choosing people to
live with.
Trusting your gut instincts about
people becomes harder when all you
have on your mind is getting that
house on Church Street (the one with
the big front porch - perfect for
Welcome Week parties and just a few
feet away from Rick's!). This in mind,
we've taken the liberty to give honest
answers for some of your most press-
ing questions regarding roommate
selection ...

HELP! I CAN'T FND A HOUSE TO FT
ALL 23 OF MY BEST FRIENDS!
You may need to sit down for this one,
because you simply can't force yourself
to live with too many people. You really
don't want to live with all of your "best"
friends anyway. From our own studies, it
appears that guys can easily fit up to 10
people in a house, while girls cannot
exceed two or three, unless sanity isn't
important.
This is the time to be selfish. Try to
find people who mesh well with your
style of living. If you wish to study in the
peace of your own home, avoid living
with anyone who thinks that beer
relieves a hangover or anyone who has
ever fashioned a wooden paddle..
LSA junior Jean Franzino said her
group of roommates shrunk from six to
four due to personal differences.
"Next year, I'm living with four peo-
ple and we're all pretty good friends;"
Franzino said. "It's not our whole group,
because we didn't know who wanted to
have party house or a quiet atmosphere."
You may also find that those you con-
sider your close friends magically morph
into demonic clean freaks when put
under the same roof as yourself. This

isn't to say that a dirty house is best, but,
when the happiness of the house is dom-
inated by cleanliness, your roommates
are lame, and so are you.
"I've heard of people getting into
fights over how clean the house is,"
Franzino said. "One girl is really clean
and the rest of us, who are a little bit
messier, will need to help out and divide
the chores. "
Just because you don't live with all of
your good friends doesn't mean that you
will drift apart or stop hanging out. True,
you will feel left out of the fun they'll

L,

Living with the opposite sex can be a learning experience.

have in their own homes or apartme
but, you'll be happy to have your
place and to have these outside friend
outlets to vent to when your roomrr
piss you off.
MY FRIEND CLAIMS TO KNOW A G
WHO IS "COOL" AND "JUST UKE M
AND SHE WANTS THIS GIRL TO LIV
WIHf US. SHOULD I TRUST MY FRIE
One thing you will notice is that n
people often bring an ally to the poo
housing candidates. This ally ma:
See ROOMMATES, Page

311 and Alien Ant rarm
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Doors open at 7 p.m.
EMU Convocation Center
7Fr kiets call 487-228E. car more informratin
cal74.487.3LY45 or check oaut our WL-b site- at:.
ww.emnich-edu/campustife
Jane Cortez and the
"Firespit t ers
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
7 p.m., McKenny Union Ballroom
Free!
G.A.R. wVirginia coalition
Sunday, November 9, 2003
Doors open at 7 p.m.
EMU Convocation Center
Art spiegelman
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
7 p.m., Pease Auditorium
Freel

F1

cl ean er
QUALITY DRY CLEANING
& SHIRT SERVICE
332 Maynard
(Across from Nickels Arcade)
668-6335


-..Y

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John Leguizamo
Saturday, Feburary 7, 2004
8 p.m., EMU Convocation Center


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