4 - The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, October 7, 2003
OP/ED
Ulb L ktgt &I
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UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
SINCE 1890
LOUIE MEIZLISH
Editor in Chief
AUBREY HENRETTY
ZAC PESKOWITZ
Editorial Page Editors
Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority of
the Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not
necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily.
NOTABLE
QUOTABLE
(For Syria to call a
Security Council meeting
is as if Bin Laden
had called a
Security Council meeting
after 9/11."
- Dan Gillerman, Israel's ambassador to
the United Nations, in response to
Syria's decision to call for a meeting of the
U.N. Security Councilfollowing
Israel's air strike on Syria, as reported
Sunday by the BBC.
COLIN DALY TiH MICHIGAN DALY
X CAN'T °
BELIEVEQ
- HOW MACH
THOSE NEWI 0'
H HU MMERS
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Forget 'awful' Democratic Party: Vote Stewart/Vedder in '04 4
AUBREY HENRETTY NEUROTICA
he Democratic
Party sucks. I
mean it. It's
awful. If political par-
ties were breakfast
cereals, the Democratic
party would be the
slightly discolored box
of Puffed Rice that's
been collecting dust
behind the Cream of
Wheat in your grandmother's cereal cabinet
since 1986. I say this because it's campaign
time again, and though the mere idea of
four more years under the dread President
Dubya might be enough to compel even the
rainy-day liberal to get Wesley Clark's face
tattooed on her ass (wait - her donkey or
her buttocks? I'll let you decide), it
shouldn't be.
There are reasons. Remember the 2000
presidential election? Remember how the
Democratic candidate was serving as vice
president in an administration under which
the U.S. economy had grown faster than a
Chia Head on crack? Remember how the
Republican candidate was a failed business-
man and also the proud governor of a state
that had zero moral compunctions about cap-
itally punishing retarded people?
It should have been very, very easy for
Democrats in high places to convince Ameri-
can voters to elect Al Gore, but they failed.
Spectacularly. When your main opponent is
only slightly less articulate than the average
brick and yet you repeatedly fail to destroy
him in public debates, you don't deserve to
be president. And shame on your political
affiliates for backing you.
Mostly liberal and utterly disgusted, I reg-
istered independent and voted Green in that
election. As if to prove me right, the party
continued to suck long after Bush swaggered
into 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Sept. 11 hap-
pened, and suddenly there was this big, ugly
bill before Congress called the USA PATRI-
OT Act (abstract: "If we pay any attention
whatsoever to the Fourth Amendment, the
terrorists have won"). Awful though they had
already shown themselves to be, I didn't real-
ly want to believe that the Democrats in Con-
gress would let the PATRIOT Act through.
So they'd handed Bush the White House on a
silver platter the previous November - so
what? They were still civil-liberty-lovin' lib-
erals with spines and scruples, right?
Oh, what a foolish young thing I was. No
more. I've given up what little hope I once
had for the Democratic Party, and seeing its
members cropping up now, after three years
of nodding politely at Bush's every
butchered sentence and waiving their every
chance to check his power, irks me to no end.
So I say forget them. What the people of
this country really need is a pair of stellar
surprise candidates to spring up out of the
woodwork. We need a presidential candidate
who regularly pokes holes in the mainstream
media's definitions of "patriot" and "terror-
ist," who can take boring old political issues
and make them accessible - even side-split-
tingly funny - to the yawning masses. We
need a vice-presidential candidate who can
give voice to the young, the liberal and the
angry, whose very presence brings them out
in approval-roaring droves.
We need Jon Stewart and Eddie Vedder.
Yes. The host of Comedy Central's "The
Daily Show" and the lead singer of Pearl
Jam, the greatest American rock band of all
time - it would be glorious. You think I'm
kidding. But come with me on this one.
As host of "The Daily Show," Stewart's
been cutting Bush down to size on basic
cable every Monday through Friday at 11
p.m. Eastern Standard Time since day one of
the Bush presidency. And unlike the Democ-
ratic "leaders" who so raise my ire, Stewart
didn't bite his tongue when Bush pre-emp-
tively demonized his detractors. He repeated
that which needed repeating (Bush saying in
complete and total earnest that he was "a fol-
lower of American politics" - a clip over-
looked by the likes of CNN) and mocked that
which needed mocking (terror alerts, mass
media spin, etc.). We can trust this guy. And
Vedder, well, he's been an outspoken critic
of Bush administrations past and present ever
since he wore that homemade "NO BUSH
'92" shirt on "Saturday Night Live" 11 years
ago. He has interviewed Gloria Steinem on
pirate radio, spoken at Ralph Nader rallies
and played the ukelele. He'd be the perfect
charismatic angry-yet-sensitive compliment
to Stewart's straightforward savvy.
Jon, Eddie (is it okay if I call you Jon and
Eddie? Please?), your country is counting on
you. Don't let us down.
4
4
Henretty can be reached
at ahenrett@umich.edu.
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Abortion advocates wrong to
suggest that anti-abortion
stance is "simple-minded"
TO THE DAILY:
As an intelligent woman and member of
the allegedly intelligent University com-
munity, I take offense at Erin Stringfel-
low's implication that people who stand
against abortion are more simple-minded
than abortion advocates, (Abortion foes try
to keep issue in spotlight, 10/06/03). Does
she think I can't grasp the ramifications of
an unwanted pregnancy? I am simply com-
mitted to making choices that are in line
with my beliefs; namely, aIbelieve that "an
unwanted pregnancy" is a living human
being and so I must act accordingly. If
anything, that complicates my life more ,
than having an abortion would, because I
have to look out for the interests of two
people, not just my own. Whether you
agree with my beliefs or not, at least have
the decency to respect my ability to make
rational decisions?
ABIGAIL SHORT
LSA senior
Butler's cartoon incorrectly
depicts Syria as blameless
victim of Israeli aggression
TO THE DAILY:
Sam Butler's cartoon yesterday showed
how little understanding he has of Middle
Eastern politics and the concept of counter-
terrorism.
Syria has been on the State Department's
list of state sponsors of terrorism since the list's
inception in 1979. Bashar al-Assad's regime
harbors multiple terrorist groups not only in
Damascus, but in Syrian-occupied Lebanon.
Literally dozens of groups have had training
camps there, primarily in the Bekka Valley, the
eastern Lebanese region that borders Syria.
The air raid by the Israeli Air Force into
Syria was not only justified, but it was long
overdue. The terrorist training camp
attacked was that of Palestinian Islamic
Jihad, a group that has conducted repeated
suicide terrorism and is responsible for the
murder of over 100 Israelis, including 19
from this past weekend in Haifa.
Rn,,tler's rcrton sh ora smiling Ari
terrorists, the only practical way to remove
this threat is to do just that; remove the
threat. This involves attacking terrorist lead-
ers and training camps, just as we have been
doing in Afghanistan since October 2001.
This is what Israel did in Syria Sunday; it
attacked the training facilities of murderers
in training. Yet for some reason, I do not
recall any cartoons about President Bush
mowing the lawn and knocking down the
mailbox of the Taliban after Sept. 11.
ELI SEGALL
LSA senior
To compete with Ivy Leagues,
Hors Program should give
schodrships to minorities
TO THE DAILY:
The lack of ethnic variety and blacks
specifically, in the University's Honors Pro-
gram is not a problem specific to the Uni-
versity, but rather an interesting problem
that touches honors programs in colleges
and universities across the country. The lack
of minorities in honors programs is a soci-
etal problem that connects to possible inade-
quate economic resources for higher
education and uneven educational opportu-
nities offered in college preparatory schools.
It is not a question, let it be known, of the
innate intelligence or intellectual acuity of
black students. To be sure, as a high school
senior I was forced to turn down several
schools in order to accept a full-scholarship
offer from a school to which honors pro-
gram membership was attached. I could
have gone here or there, but I hadn't the
money to go anywhere.
Black students want "full-rides" to college
and the ones qualified for admission to the
Honors Program are being hotly recruited by
the Ivy League - with full financial-aid
packages. Princeton University, for example,
has completely eliminated student loans. This
means that if I am admitted to Princeton and
am in need of financial assistance, not only,
will I receive all the money I need to make it
possible to attend, but it also means that I will
be given only grants and work-study to cover
my educational expenses - not loans.
All these things considered, what will it
take to plug more students of color into hon-
ors programs?
MADISON MOORE
LSA junior
It is a very well-known and documented fact
that she was a universalist; Mother Teresa
herself alluded to this in her speech to the
United Nations in 1985 and on numerous
other occasions. When the neglected residents
of Calcutta, India lay dying on the streets, she
made certain their last rites were performed in
the prescribed manner of their own religion,
be it Islam, Hinduism or Christianity. As an
Indian and practicing Hindu, I understand the
anger felt in developing countries toward for-
eign missionaries. Encounters with religious
fundamentalists can be humiliating and
painful and there are indeed many missionar-
ies who shut their doorseto thosewho refuse to
convert, but Mother Teresa never envisioned
or practiced this sort of bias.
I fully support Mother Teresa's canon-
ization; her actions are worthy of the highest
honors, and yes, even the worship of those
who are willing. It is my hope that the next
time a critique of arguably one of the
world's greatest personages is written, the
author will give adequate pause and assess
the validity of her claims.
DEEPTi REDDY
LSA sophomore
Chirummilla needs to do
more research and get
Catholic beliefs correct
A
To THE DAILY:
Sravya Chirumamilla's column, Mother
Teresa and the Devils, (10/03/03) reaffirmed the
fact that having a degree from a prestigious
university isn't a good indicator of wisdom.
Chirumamilla clearly dislikes Mother Tere-
sa (or at least what she thinks she knows about
her). One must wonder how much of her opin-
ion of this soon-to-be canonized saint is formed
by second- and third-hand gossip versus jour-
nalistic investigation or accounts of those who
have worked directly with the Missionaries of
Charity in their caring for the poor.
But for someone who seems to think she
knows the inner thoughts of a cardinal some
think is papabile, Chirumamilla's column only
proved her ignorance of what the Roman
Catholic Church teaches. Catholics do not wor-
ship saints. Worship is reserved for God. A five-
minute perusal of a copy of the Catechism of the
Catholic Church could have corrected that error.
I do hope that Chirumamilla does her jour-
nalistic duty and checks her facts the next time
she writes a column on the Catholic Church or
4
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