2B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend MagaZine - Thursday, September 25, 2003
Ohmigod, hesitant random is 'good girl'
The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine
A guide to who's where,
what's happening and why T e We e d Ls
you need to be there..Th e k n Ls
By Charles Paradis
Daily Weekend Editor
The Michigan Daily: Hi, is
Random: Actually no, but I can
take a message.
TMD: My name is Charles, I
work for The Michigan Daily. I'm
trying to do the Random Student
Interview this week. Would you be
R: I don't know
TMD: Why not? We'll only use
your first name.
R: I have a really unique first
name and everyone will know it is
TMD: What is it?
TMD: Antoneta, that's a lovely
(After a brief and unfunny
exchange, random agrees to do the
interview. It was the best decision of
TMD: Do you like the wave?
TMD: I hate it. And, what's more,
these guys who sit in front of me at
the game hate me because I hate the
Do you think that is a good reason
to hate someone?
R: Whatever floats your boat.
TMD: Hmm ... speaking of boats,
where's your favorite place to surf in
R: I don't surf.
TMD: I don't think you can even
surf in Michigan.
If you had to take a bath in some-
thing other than water what would
R: Chocolate, because you can do
a lot of things with it.
TMD: Given the Lawn Mower,
the Sprinkler and the Boxer, what is
your favorite frat-floor dance move?
R: The Sprinkler.
TMD: Do you know who
TMD: She's the Maiden of the
Mist at Niagara Falls. Have you ever
been to the falls?
R: Yeah, once.
TMD: And you don't remember
Lelawala? I'm disappointed. This
isn't starting out too well. Can you
name a condom brand other than
Trojan or Lifestyles?
R: No, because I'm a good girl.
TMD: Along those same lines, if
you were to name a sexual pose,
what would you call it?
R: Iplead the fifth.
TMD: When was the last time
you popped your shirt at someone?
R: Never. I'm just a loveable per-
son. I'm a good girl.
TMD: You should try popping
your shirt at someone.
R: Well, I have been working out.
TMD: Have you ever defenestrat-
ed someone you loved?
R: I don't know.
TMD: What about someone you
R: Sure. I don't know what that
TMD: How do you pronounce the
capital of Kentucky, Louie-ville or
TMD: The correct answer is
R: Oh my god. You're mean. I want
to hang up.
TMD: No, wait, we are almost
done. Just a few more questions.
R: I'm missing "General
TMD: Is Murphy Lee the second
coming of Mase, or was Mase the
penultimate great hip-hop sidekick?
R: I don't know, the second one. I
TMD: I'd say Mase was the
penultimate great hip-hop sidekick,
but that's just me.
What is the key ingredient of a
good rap battle? Good beats or flow-
ing rap lyrics?
R: It's flowing lyrics.
TMD: I agree. Who's weirder:
Andre 3000 from Outkast or
Pimpbot 2000 from Conan O'Brien?
R: Is that even the guy from
Outkast? I think you are lying to me.
The guy from Outkast.
TMD: What do you think of men
wearing pretty pink?
R: I think they are sexy. I think it
shows confidence; they don't care
what other people think.
TMD: Sticking with recent album
releases, who did you like better -
Dave Matthews addicted to heroin,
or after he had kids?
R: Old Dave Matthews.
TMD: Can you define prestidigi-
tation and use it in a sentence?
R: Um, I'm the dumb person at U
of M, so no.
TMD: What do you think about
Papa John's coming to campus?
R: Are they?
R: I don't know. Pizza is pizza.
TMD: Well, you're wrong. Papa
John's is more than just pizza.
How did last week's loss at
Oregon affect you?
R: Oh my god, I don't want to talk
TMD: Were you a little disap-
R:I was a lot disappointed.
TMD: What's your prediction for
this week's football game?
R: Are we playing Indiana?
R: We are gonna kick some ass.
TMD: What's the score going to be?
TMD: Would you give up on the
team if they lost?
R: No. I'm loyal.
TMD: What was the best thing to
happen to you recently?
R: Hmmm ... I actually got a good
night's sleep. This weekend, when I
went home for a wedding..
TMD: Why don't you usually
R: I usually have work to do.
TMD: Are you a movie fan?
R: I don't really have time to
watch a lot of movies, because I
have lots of work.
TMD: What is Pauly Shore's best
R: Oh my god, that's so old. I
don't even know. He's the guy with
the crazy hair and the weird voice
TMD: The correct answer is
"Bio-Dome." What is Stephen
Baldwin's best movie?
R: I don't know the difference
between Stephen and Alex.
(Editors note: There is no Alex
Baldwin. Random most likely meant
Alec, he of "The Shadow "fame. No
one confuses him with Daniel, the
TMD: The answer is "The Usual
Maybe you'll do better with a
sports question, let's see.
R: (Random groans in dismay.)
TMD: How do you feel about the
Tigers being one of the worst teams
R: At least we are good at some-
TMD: If there might be a little
dust on the bottle, should you let
that fool you about what's on the
R: In general, no, because outside
appearances don't really matter.
But, if you are taking a drink from
someone and it is dirty, then maybe
you shouldn't, because they might
have laced it with something.
TMD: Well, all in all, you did OK.
You've survived the Random Student
Interview. Is there anything you
would like to say to redeem yourself?
R: Don't call me again.
TMD: Don't worry, we won't, it
wouldn't be random if we did.
Well, look for the interview in
Thursday's Weekend Magazine on
page 2B. It's been real.
able trb n Dil
M AG A ZIlNE Rme
Writers: Andrew Gaerig, Adam
Rosen, Niamh Slevin
Photo Editors: Tony Ding, Brett
Photographers: Seth Lower,
Brett Mountain, David Tuman
Cover Photo: Brett Mountain
Arts Editors: Todd Weiser,
Managing Editor, Jason Roberts,
Scott Serilla, Editors
Editor in Chief: Louie Meizlish
1st HOUR FREE
" 'English 'Usage
" 15 years Experience
Duplex Ben Stiller and Drew The Rundown The Rock ...
Barrymore finally have a place of oops, sorry, I mean Dwayne
their own! Now they just need to Johnson, is really goin gplaces.
get rid of the old bag upstairs and Before we know it, hell be rubbing
find a better actress to accompany elbows with Vin Diesel, Paul Walker,
big Ben. At Showcase: 1:25, 3:25, and the select few other
5:25, 7:25, 9:25, 11:25. At action/drama heroeswe so adore.
Madstone: 1:20, 3:20, 5:20, 7:20, At Showcase: 12:05 AM, 12:35,
9:40. AM, 12:30, 1:00, 2:45, 3:15, 5:00,
5:30, 7:30, 8:00, 9:45, 10:15.
Lost in Translation Get ready,
rock and rollers . Bill Murray's ' Under the Tuscan Sun I'm talk-
2003 Asian Invasion tour begins this ing about a place where the beer
Friday. First stop: Tokyo. At flows like wine ... where a 35 year-
Showcase: 1:50, 4:20, 6:50, 9:00, old Diane Lane instinctively flocks
11:15. like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm
talking about a little place called..
Luther Tonight on A&E Biography ah, who am I kidding? It's just
- Martin Luther: invaluable church another crappy romantic comedy,
reformer or evangelical terrorist? Italian style. At Showcase: 12:25
You decide. At Showcase: 12:20 AM, 12:0, 1:20, 2:50, 4:15, 5:15,
AM, 1:30, 4:25, 7:20, 9:55. 7:10, 7:40, 9:35, 10:05, 11:35.
Anything Else This is a winning
combination: quirky, goofy-looking
director, guy who made his career
putting his wanky into his dessert,
and girl who perpetually looks as
thou h she's contemplatingsuicide.
At Showcase: 12:00, 2:20, 4:45,
7:00, 9:15, 11:30.
Cabin Fever I've got a fever ...
and the only cure is getting this
damned movie out of the theatres.
More cow bell wouldn't be bad,
either. If I've ever heard of a mis-
nomer this is it. At Showcase: 12:40
AM, 8:05, 10:25.
Cold Creek Manor Prison inmate
gets out and wants to reclaim his
birth-house ... yadda, yadda yadda.
The real reason to see this: Stephen
Dorff's shredded pectorals. At
Showcase: 12:30 AM, 12:10, 2:40,
5:05, 7:35, 10:10.
Dickie Roberts: Former Child
Star How to ruin a career, Step 1:
Leave "Saturday Night Live" and
attempt to make movies. Victims
include David Spade and Tim
Meadows. At Showcase: 12:10 AM,
12:15, 2:30, 4:55, 7:50, 10:00.
Dr. Strangelove, Or How I
Learned to Stop Worrying and
Love the Bomb Watching a man
straddle a weapon of mass-destruc-
tion and ride it like a bucking bron-
co down to earth is an indescribably
beautiful thing. At Madstone: 1:15,
3:15, 5:15, 7:15, 9:15.
The Fighting Temptations This
man of honor needs to find himself
a new lead lady. Beyonce is nothing
but bad news for Cuba. At
Showcase: 12:15 AM, 1:10, 1:40,
4:00, 4:30, 6:35, 7:05, 9:10, 9:40,
Freaky Friday In "True Lies,"
Jamie Lee Curtis proved to the
world that she's got legs and that
she knows how to use them. Now
let's see what she can bring to the
table as a teenage girl. The possibil-
ities are endless. At Showcase:
12:55, 3:10, 5:20.
The Holy Land I bet you can't
remember your last trip to see a
confused, disenchanted rabbi visit
his first whorehouse. If you can, get
some help. At Madstone: 5:25, 9:40
The Magdalene Sisters
Becoming a nun certainly isn't for
everyone. A word to those consider-
ing: If you plan to join the
Magdalene sisterhood, you better
have thick skin. At Madstone: 3:30,
Matchstick Men I see you're an
obsessive-compulsive conman. I'm
an obsessive compulsive conman,
too. Uhh ... huh-huh ... huh-huh.
That'old joke gets me everytime. At
Showcase: 1:35, 4:05, 6:30, 9:05,
11:40. At Madstone: 1:10, 3:40,
Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Oh, Mexico It sounds so sweet with
the sun sinking low; the moon's so
bright it can light up the night and
make everythinghalright-just watch
out for the scary Mexican with the
guitar case full of guns. At
Showcase: 12:35 AM, 1:05, 3:20,
5:40, 8:10, 9:30, 10:30, 11:35. At
Madstone: 1:15, 3:20, 5:25, 7:35,
Pirates of the Caribbean: The
Curse of the Black Pearl Reason
for this film's success: Pirates rule.
But wait, Johnny Depp rules, too.
Ah, it's too complicated ... just see
this if you like a good adventure. Or
just see it because everyone else in
America has. At Showcase: 12:45,
Secondhand Lions Michael
Caine and Robert Duvall are near-
ing that level of being Secondhand
old dudes. Good thing they've got
Haley Joel to keep them on their
toes. At Showcase: 12:05, 2:25,
4:50, 7:10, 9:30, 11:50.
The Secret Lives of Dentists
Note to self: Don't ever accept rela-
tionship counseling from Denis
Leary when you think your old lady
is playing around, especially if your
job involves sticking drills into oth-
ers' mouths. Just thought I'd help.
At Madstone 1:00, 3:10, 7:25.
Swimming Pool Careful where
you go looking for your next novel
idea ... you may lust end up in
Southern France entangled in weird
mysteries with the girl you met at
the poolside. At Madstone: 1:00,
Underworld Think Evanescence
video with weird super-hairy dudes
and guys with fangs. So, really, just
think Evanescence video. Or think
about the sweetest thing possible,
and make it sweeter. At Showcase:
Midnight, 12:30 AM, 12:00, 1:15,
1:45, 2:35, 4:10, 4:40, 5:10, 6:45,
7:15, 7:45, 9:20, 9:50, 10:20.
American Splendor Comic book
man, comic book man, does every-
thing a comic book can.. wait,
never mind. State Theater: 9:30.
Dirty Pretty Things It's not every-
day you find a fresh, intact kidney in
your tub. State Theater: 7:15, 9:45
Step Into Liquid Surf's up, bra.
Michigan Theater: 10:00
Taxi-Driver Uncle Sam can work
wonders on people's minds.
Michigan Theater: 7:00.
Thirteen Man, it'd be just great to
be back in junior high! State Theater:
Detroit Symphony Orchestra:
Phantom of the Opera House In
this concert, the DS 0will perform a
of great works inspired by
bot hitorcaland literary characters.
Highlights of the program include the
"Bacchanale" fromrSamson and Dalila
and the Fantasy-Overture from
Romeo and Juliet. 8p.m., Detroit
Opera House, $15 - $60; 313-576-
Ron Brooks Trio Well, well, well.
Look who's back. I knew you loved
our taunts. You need it, Ronny. You
love it. Bird of Paradise, 312 S. Main
St., 8:30 p.m. $5. 662-8310.
Los Gatos These guys are starting
to get on my nerves as well. But no
one will replace Ronny in my cold,
cold heart. The Firefly Club, 207 S.
Ashley St., 8 p.m. $5. 665-9090.
Waterworld Weekend: DJ Battle
I hope one of those DJ's kills Costner.
Yeah, I know, lame joke. It's been a
long week. Blind Pig, 208 S. First St.,
9:30 p.m. $8. 996-8588.
Triple Espresso A highly caffeinated
comedy, this play is a high-energy pro-
duction featuring onginal songs, parody
send-ups, and vaudeville-style ensem-
ble comedy. 2 p.m. & 8 p.m., Gem
Theatre, $28 -$32; 313-963-9800.
Triple Espresso See
Affliction A heartwarming tale o
drunken, divorced cop, his unheall
Wolf Eyes Don't think you can g
away from us by simply moving yo
shows, Ronny. It's not that easy, p
Elbow Room, 6 S. Washing3ton 5
Ypsilanti, 10 p.m. $5. 483-6374.
Chris Smither One of these da'
Ronny, this entire list is gonnat1
about you. Whatcha think about the
jazz boy? The Ark, 316 S. Main St.
p.m. $17.50. 761-1451.
The RFD Boys
I'm gonna leave it -
up to you to come
up with your own
these guys. Just
"F" always stands
for. The Ark, 316
S. Main St. 8 p.m.
$10 ($9 student).
761-1451. You talkin1
The Easy Street to me? You
Jazz Band I'm about Robe
calling the boss. you are, mi
I'm sure he s some of his
gonnarbe pissed. mehiI
The Firefly Club, Michigan T
207 S. As ley St. end. With
5 .m. $5. 665- "Raging Bu
Tom Loncaric & Friday repe
His Orchestra can get his
Who ordered the who would)
L o n d o n whwud
bly while high. Cypress Hill, I'm c
ing in your direction. Bird of Paradi
312 S. Main St., 6 p.m. $5. 662-831
v5 ~ .
State Theater: 9:30.
Dirty Pretty Things See Thursday.
State Theater: 7:15, 9:45.
Lost in Translation Get ready, rock
and rollers ... Bill Murray's 2003
Asian Invasion tour begins this Friday.
First stop: Tokyo. Michigan Theater:
5:00, 7:15, 9:45.
Raging Bull DeNiro is one tough
sonofa bitch. Michigan Theater: 7:00.
Thirteen See Thursday.
Theater: 7:00, 9:30
all. you care
pizza and p
Includes Spaghetti with Ma
Pepperoni Pizza along with 22
Dine-in ony Mus show cue
VaAd through 2003-MN snhool year.Otte
ANN ARBOR: 22
Phone Numbers: Michigan Theater: 668-8397; Quality 16: 827-2837; Showcase: 973-8380;
Showtimes are effective Friday through Thursday. Matinee times at State Theater are effec-
tive for Saturday and Sunday only.
DSO: Phantom of the Opera See
Thursday, 8:30 p.m.
Inner Recipe Anyone elsenotice
that Ron Brooks doesn't play on
Thursday's anymore. Convenient, eh?
Blind Pig, 208 S. First St., 9:30 p.m.
$6 ($9 under 21). 996-8588.