0 0 V V V VAb. ll v w w 8B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - Thursday, September 11, 2003 ERINKAPLAN- LIPSAR £fSE AE y WHERE HA kS ALL THE DATING GONE? The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine T his party starts before kickoff By MMt Muamr Iregret to inform you. I must preface this first column by saying that you should not, under any circum- stance, listen to me. I know nothing. I have had one short-lived and not very fulfilling relationship and a few not- so-romantic one-night stands. I know little about sex and even less about love or relationships. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. That being said, I have to pose the question: Who does? What does it take to figure out this whole early twenties, post-pubescent, yet still premature mating dance that every- ,oe does and no one knows the steps to? If there is anyone out there who has this whole thing figured out, please contact me, because I am vexed and perplexed. In the spirit of honesty and truth (neither of which seem to be all that important in dating), I want to inform all of you out there that I, Erin Kaplan, have never been on a real date. Sure, a casual dinner where some- one else paid or an accidental date (also known as a scam) where you go out with a friend and they think it is a date, but regret to inform you - I have never been on a date. I have had a boyfriend and more than a few hook-ups, but I have never dated. I have never met someone, exchanged numbers and then received a phone call asking me out. On a campus where we can fall in and out of love, relationships, friendships and beds without so much as a heads-up from our counterpart, I'm beginning to wonder: Is dating dead? Think about it. When was the last time you really dated someone, honestly dated them, and when it was prearranged? And, if you are one of the very few peo- ple that have, what did it result in? Based on both my experiences, and those of my closest friends, even on that rare occasion when dating does occur, it usually fizzles before it ever gets a chance to fire up. The problem with dating is that when most people date, they try to play by a set of socially accepted rules. First: din- ner and a goodnight kiss; second: din- ner and coffee and some kissing; third: an evening together and some good old-fashioned making out; fourth: another evening together, and if you are both on the same religious, moral, mental and emotional page: sex. There is, without question, truth to the statement that anticipation is half the fun, but when we anticipate and anticipate and anticipate, oftentimes we just give up. With all the classes, parties, meetings and commitments in our lives, it is difficult to put in the necessary time to play by those rules; and as a result, phone calls remain unreturned and skepticism builds to the point where we say screw him or her and move on. That being said, idealists will find themselves between a rock and a hard place. If dating doesn't work and you're looking for love, or at least like, how do they get there? (I use they, as opposed to we, due to the fact that I am NOT an idealist). The next best route to the ideal desti- nation is to become a hopeless roman- tic. However, upon closer examination of the English language, this too becomes a mute point. A hopeless romantic is just that - hopeless. So, for the rest of us, what do we do? There is always the option of having meaningless hook-ups with multiple partners and I am not ashamed to say, "been there, done that," but even this can be a difficult task to achieve. Guys, you have no idea how sexually- charged women are and how willing many of us are for a little weekend fun. There is a reason why we can have mul- tiple organisms in one night, because sex is meant to be enjoyed, by both partners. We like sex. All that we ask for is a little respect and consideration, howev- er, for many women, even that is almost impossible to find. Just as I despise being reduced to a gender stereotype, I don't mean to do the same to men, but it just seems so hard to find a guy who truly respects women. Do you know that I was recently asked by a guy if my breasts were real? I was ready and willing to go home with this person and then just like that, he screwed himself out of getting screwed! I am so sick of all the bull we have to get through to get anywhere. Would it kill us all to be a little more honest at the starting gate so that when it comes to the race, we have a some- what clearer idea of where we stand? With dating in a coma of an indeter- minate fate, when do we shrug, sigh deeply and pull the plug. --Ifyou would like to date Erin, she can be reached at erkaplan @umich.edu. But she might say no. It's 11 a.m. on Saturday morning and junior John Burke has been drinking for well over three hours. Don't misunderstand. Burke is by no means an alcoholic. He is, by his standards anyways, noth- ing more than a Michigan football tailgater. "We have one of the best football teams in the country," Burke says from a large tailgate party held on 1008 Oakland St. "So we have to cele- brate every Saturday before the game by tailgat- ing. We even sing 'Hail to the Victors' before we leave here. It's almost like a religion." Across town, standing next to a 1972 Winnebago parked at Pioneer High School, sea- son- ticket holder Dean Rose couldn't agree more. All morning, Rose and his four friends from northern Michigan have been standing over their grill, that at some point during the morning will be full of sweet corn, deep fried turkey, ribs and chili. They arrived in their RV early Friday afternoon and have been tailgating essentially for nearly 24 hours prior to the game. These die hard Wolverine fans haven't missed a football game in Michigan Stadium in years. More importantly, they haven't missed a good tailgate party either. "Without tailgating, the day's not the same," Rose said. "Simple as that." It may cost Rose and his buddies $105 to park at Pioneer - a stark increase from $40 last year - but nothing can stop them from spending an entire Saturday morning around the grill. As Rose puts it, "You don't drive seven hours just to come to the game." Whether it's a student like Burke or just fans like Rose from Traverse City who park their RV at the Pioneer lot, Football Saturday, to many fans in Ann Arbor, starts well before kickoff. At Beta Theta Pi, fraternity President Ryan Cole says the fraternity probably spends close to $1,000 a week just on the tailgate party alone. Two weeks ago, Beta set up a dunk tank and slip-and-slide in its front yard, and last week, it had a massive Bounce House where students could jump around in an air-pumped machine. This week, Cole says, they will have gladiator jousting. "Tailgating is my favorite part of the time at Michigan," said Cole. "Watching people walk by our house and sing the fight song along the way is awesome." Some students have been known to tailgate so hard that they miss the game altogether. But LSA sophomore Lauren Smylie tries hard to show sup- port for her school on Saturday afternoons at the Big House. "I definitely like the tailgating better than the game," she said. "But I always make it to the game." While some pre-gamers prefer to stick to the ::>: 7 :rr.'e BRETT MOUNTAIN/Dail For football fans, tailgating is about two things, food and socializing. Impact i4Salon Welcome Back Specials $20.00 Haircuts 548 Church St, Upstairs Open Tues-Sat 662.4232 Walk-Ins or Appointments traditional tailgating fare of hamburgers and hot dogs, tailgating in Ann Arbor has evolved rapidly into a massive culinary event. Just a few winnebago's down from Rose at Pioneer, season-ticket holder Tom Kroll and his friends have been grilling exotic dishes since well before 9 a.m. Looking at the food spread out over the grill it is easy to see that this is no mere burger and frank joint. "We've got stuffed mushrooms here," says Kroll, pointing to one part of his grill, "and we've got Mexican pinwheels over here. (Years ago) it started with bratwursts, and it's pretty much evolved to this." Fellow season ticket holder Rick Zavitz, who has had the same seats in the Big House for 31 years, even has his wife cook him the same special break- fast every Saturday morning at his tailgate party. "It's sort of like an egg and sausage and cheese sandwich," Zavitz said. "I have it before every game. It's a rule." While tailgating is one way for fans to experi- ence an array of foods, it's also a way for frater- nity houses to get freshmen interested. "(Tailgating here) is how I ended up rushing here,' said Cole, who, expecting a big crowd, ordered fifteer 30 packs of beer and "a couple of handles." "Tailgating before the game is just such a great way for freshmen to see the house' Cole said. While Cole smiles as he watches students jumping around in the Bounce House, other stu- dents, like Burke, are already coming up with ways to make this Saturday's tailgate party before the Notre Dame game, even that much more special. "Oh yeah," says Burke. "Next week, at the tailgate here, we're going to have apple sauce wrestling." Cheap solutions abound in Ann Arbor Ann Arbor Branch AAUW 51 st Annual Used Book Sale September 12-14, 2003 S Friday: 10 am- 8 pm Early admission $10, 8am-10am Saturday: 10 am- 8 pm Sunday: 10 am- 3pm Friday: Saturday: Sunday: $1 - $4 price range, some books individually priced all books half price all books $5 per bag DECORATING Continued from Page 3B like appliances. Although an Easy Bake Oven goes for $19.99, the $29.99 for a George Forman grill does not exactly seem steep. Several students also try to save their cash by bringing things from home (one explanation for why it is almost impossible to find two matching sets of silverware in any given student's residence). By now you should be on your way to settling in to your new place, but remember to be patient and to pace yourself. Accept that changes are going to be made and leave openings for such changes; because like the empty beer keg, you never know what decorating ideas might just happen. In my quest to prepare for this article, I hunted through Ann Arbor's stores, and from this, I compiled a list of my favorite finds, deals, and tips for trans- forming your space into your own: Magnets. No refrigerator is com- plete without them. Alphabet mag- nets make leaving notes for your roommates easy, and "magnetic poetry" sets provide countless hours of entertainment. Soft Pink light bulbs, better than the average bulb. They create a soft- er mood and more subtle light. Available at hardware stores and Hiller's Market. Price: $3-$5. Miniature stacking suitcases. These are a great decorative storage option for toiletries, makeup, etc ... Available in several bright colors and in three differ- ent sizes at Vintage to Vogue Home (in Kerrytown). Price: $9, $10 and $12. Window Art puffy-paint set. Color on your windows, and give your neighbors a real reason to peek. Available at Mudpuddles Toy Store (Kerrytown). Price: $20. Also at Mudpuddles -... Tie Dye Kit. Make your own colorful drapes or sheets. Price: $12. Handcrafted wooden bookcases and shelves. These pieces can be left bare or can be painted to fit in with the rest of your decor. Available at the Ann Arbor Artisan's Market (part of the Ann Arbor Farmers Market in Kerrytown). Price: $40-$80. Mosquito netting. In either pink oi blue, this netting hangs from the ceiling and drapes over your bed oi any other piece of furniture that you chose to set apart from the rest cre- ating a very regal aura. Available al Urban Outfitters. Price: $24. Peacock feathers. They're exotic, beautiful and look great in a tall vase. Plus, they are plant-like enough to add life to your pad, but do not need to be water nor will they wilt and need to be thrown away. Available at Middle Earth. Price: $1 per feather. ... And one final tip: Please, do not decorate with perishables. Take my word for it; the result is less than appealing. Morris Lawrence Building Washtenaw Community College Supporting the education of women for over 100 years! http://community.mlive.com/cc/aauwaa