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2B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magnine - Thursday, September 11, 2003
With randoms it takes two, or three, to tango
The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magauive -
A guide to who's where,
what's happening and why T eWe e d Ls
you need to be there ..T eWe e d Ls
By Charles Paradis
Daily Weekend Editor
The Michigan Daily: Hey, Is Shivali
Random: Yes, this is she.
TMD: Hi, my name is Charles, I work for
The Michigan Daily. I would like to be the
first to congratulate you on being the inaugu-
ral random student of the year. How does that
make you feel?
R: Good I guess. Hold on (To friends, obvi-
ously confused: "I'm the random student
interview, for The Michigan Daily.")
TMD: Do you like the wave?
R: You mean at the game? Yes I love it.
TMD: Wait, are you a freshman?
TMD: Don't you think it would be cool if
everyone turned away from the field and did
the wave? You know, did away with the whole
pretense of even watching the game at all?
R: That would be awesome. I love it.
TMD: How much would you say you party?
R: On the weekends.
TMD: Do you like the night life? Do you
like to boogie?
R: Yeah I like the nightlife, it's alright.
TMD: What do you think of the "Sports
Beer?" Michelob Ultra, you know with the
commercials of people playing basketball and
then kicking back a couple of cold ones.
R: I don't think I've ever seen that one.
TMD: Do you think they make you more
athletic or less athletic?
R: Hmm ... It doesn't really affect me at all.
TMD: Would you pity me if I told you I got
dunked on by a drunk guy?
R: A little bit. Not too much
TMD: Pity away. Have you ever read "The
R: No, I haven't. I was never made to read it.
TMD: Fitzgerald wrote that large parties
are more intimate than small parties, do you
R: Thinking. I don't think so.
TMD: What's the most evil thing you've
R: Oh no ... (muttering in the background).
Talking on the phone and not letting my room-
mate read, as in right now. (Voice in the back-
ground: "Hang up the phone.')
Random hangs up. Apparently freshmen do
not yet appreciate the Random Student
Interview. Poor, poor girl. Unphased, our hero
reaches out to touch another life.
TMD: Hi is Miljana there?
R: Yes, this is she.
TMD: Would you like to be part of The
Michigan Daily's Random Student Interview?
R: Yes. You made my day!
TMD: Great. In terms of outerwear, what
do you think of baby blue on baby blue?
R: I think it is (sound of disgust) bad. It
belongs in like GAP kids or something.
Especially if I saw it on a boy. I'd have to go
over there and rip it off. Not in that way.
TMD: Under what circumstances is it
appropriate to dust off your friend's shoulder?
R: I guess if she had a stray hair on it. Is this
some expression that I'm not familiar with?
R: I'm never going to date anyone on this
TMD: What's your prediction for this
week's football game?
R: I think we are going to win.
TMD: Can you name anyone who plays for
R: Oh, God don't ask me things like that. No.
TMD: So, what you're saying is your pre-
diction has no relevant factual basis?
R: Not really. It is basically based on what
happened last weekend. But my instincts are
TMD: What celebrity would you compare
R: Probably Sandra Bullock.
TMD: Why? Is there some connection that
unites the two of you?
R: Because I make an ass out of myself all
TMD: If you could be one animal, what
would you be?'
R: I think I'd want to be ... oh that's a tough
one. Hmmm ... God, I think I'd want to be like
a lion or something. You'd be loud and every-
one is scared of you, but you'd be pretty and
TMD: Do you believe that the Wolverine is
the pound-per-pound fiercest animal in the
R: Well, compared to other Big Ten mascots,
yes. But compared to other ones, I'm not sure.
TMD: What about Roy Jones Jr.?
R: What about him? I just know he died
TMD: He didn't die; he's the pound-for-
pound greatest boxer in the world.
R: No he died, recently (Editor's note: Roy
Jones Jr. is still alive).
TMD: What is the order of appearance by
rappers in the critically acclaimed hit "Shake
R: I think P. Diddy, and then Ja Rule. I
don't think Ja Rule is in it, but I know P.
Diddy is definitely in it.
TMD: Ja Rule is not in it. The correct answer
is Nelly, P Diddy and then Murphy Lee.
TMD: If you could have anyone sing at
your next birthday party, who would you
R: I'd have Jurassic 5 come.
TMD: Would you describe the Lions and
Tigers as a) hapless or b) moribund?
R: Oh, God. Does that matter? I guess hap-
less. I don't know.,
TMD: Do you think ruthful is a word?
R: As in supposedly the opposite of ruth-
less? No, I don't think so.
TMD: You're wrong.
R: It is? I thought it was a trick question.
TMD: Who is your favorite cartoon character?
R: I'd probably say Mighty Mouse. Wait,
what were the ones who had the snorkel?
TMD: I have no idea what you are talking about.
TMD: Do you think Dilbert could kick
game at the Powerpuff Girls?
R: Oh yeah, there are so many of them.
TMD: All three at the same time?
R: No, I feel like he would go after one of
them and she would pass him on to one of her
TMD: Which one would he go after?
R: Well, of course, he would go after the
blonde first, but he'd probably end up with the
one with brown hair.
TMD: What if he had Dogbert there?
R: He'll get him too.
TMD: That's sick. On that note, it has been
a pleasure talking to you, look for this in the
inaugural Weekend Magazine of the year this
Thursday, page 2.
Cabin Fever Has "28 Days Later"
not already taught us the most valu-
able lesson of independent horror
films: They are infinitely better than
any and all main-stream horror
movies ... ever? At
Showcase:12:40, 3:00, 3:30, 5:10,
5:40, 7:20, 7:50, 9:35, 10:05, 11:45
(Fri. and Sat.), 12:15 (Fri. and Sat.).
Showcase: 1:00, 3:10, 5:25, 7:35,
9:55, 12:00 (Fri. and Sat.).
rig t now. D
Matchstick Men When will jolly Madstone:1
old Nick finally realize that gimmicks 9:45 At Sho
ust don't sell the way the used to. 2:35, 3:05,
rst ou're fat, thenyou ave a 7:10, 7:40,f
twitch; what's next? At Madstone: 10:30, 11:50
1:10, 3:40, 7:10, 9:35 At Showcase: (Fri. and Sat
12:15, 1:15, 2:45, 4:15, 5:15, 7:15,
7:45, 9:45, 10:15, 12:10 (Fri.'and On Line AI
Sat.), 12:40 (Fri. and Sat.). ever heard o
to nobody; r
No Good Deed Samuel L is still an intemet p
one badass mother (shut yo mouth!) est? I meantc
Go see the movie. At Madstone: perverts even
1:05, 3:10, 5:15, 7:20, 9:25 At 1:30, 3:30,5
n a ime in Mexico
pp is easily cooler than
loll ywood personalit
Do I hear a "Man With
ilogy in the workings?
this will be the most
ie of September. At
11, 3:20, 5:25, 7:35,
owcase: 12:20, 12:50,
3:35, 4:50, 5:20, 5:50,
8:10, 8:10, 9:30, 10:00,
0 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:20
film by nobody you've
f with a topic of no interest
namely, two buddies start
pomn site. Did I say no inter-
of great importance to us
ywhere. At Madstone:
:30, 7:30, 9:30.
E-=nsFaY DF n4--ECLUB~
21115 State3'Hi AboeM reeks
Cool Clothes, Cheap Prices!
American Wedding Getting rid of
Chris Kline was the best move they
could have made. Well, that and
having Stiffler eat a piece of dog
excrement. At Showcase:12:05,
2:15, 4:30 2.5 Stars.
Bad Boys 2 Who doesn't love see-
ing rats engaging in disgusting sexu-
al intercourse and a conversation
between the Fresh Prince and Martin
laced with heavy homosexual inuen-
do. At Showcase: 9:20, 12:10 (Fri.
and Sat.) 2 Stars.
Dicde Roberts: Former Child Star
Any movie where you've got Webster
and Meathead should be a winner. Too
bad this movie sucks Dickie. At
Showcase: 12:05, 2:20, 4:40, 7:05,
9:15, 11:30 (Fri. and Sat.) 1 Star.
Dirty Pretty Things Yes, they are,
and that's that! At Showcase: 12:25,
2:40, 4:45, 6:55, 9:05, 11:15 (Fri.
Finding Nemo A cartoon topping
the box-office charts and landing in
the to p 10 all time grossing films
ever? 1 smell something fishy. At
Showcase: 1:25 4.5 Stars.
Freaky Friday They should
rename this to Freaky Ex-Hot Older
Woman Who Got Naked in Trading
Places and Yells at People Who Try
to Interview Her." Or not. At
Showcase: 1:05, 3:15, 5:30, 7:25.
Freddy vs. Jason With the success
of this monster match, new ideas
have been incessant for the studios.
Just think, this time next year we'll
be seeing the likes of Killer Klowns
from Outer Space vs. Attack of the
Killer Tomatoes. Oh happy day! At
Showcase: 12:30, 2:50, 6:35, 8:00,
10:10, 12:05 (Fri. and Sat.).
The Italian Job This is one that I'd
like to call "Mark and the Funk
Bunch Do Italy." That's not an MP,
that's a YP, your problem. At
Showcase: 5:00, 7:30, 10:00, 12:25
(Fri. and Sat.).
Jeepers Creepers 2 Even the title
for this film is a cop out How can you
be afraid of something people haven't
said since 1952? Holy Crap would be
better. At Showcase: 1:10, 3:25, 5:45,
8:05, 10:25, 12:35 (Fri. and Sat.).
The Magdalene Sisters Not at all
depressing. That is if you like watch-
ing little girls getting beaten and
abused by nuns. At Madstone: 1:00,
4:00, 7:15, 9:40 3 Stars.
The Medallion Jackie Chan will
never use special effects in one of
his movies or he'll retire ... and
monkeys might fly out of my butt.
Time to hang it up Jack. At
Showcase: 12:10, 6:45.
My Boss's Daughter Just Married
and this movie should have been
enough to ruin Ashton's career.
Unfortunately you'll be seeing him
and the unholy Paul Walker in the
reinvigoration of The Dukes of
Hazard. At Showcase: 2:25, 4:35,
9:00, 11:20 (Fri. and Sat.).
Open Range Kevin Costner is back
baby! At Showcase: 1:20, 4:10,
9:50, 12:30 (Fri. and Sat.) 3.5 Stars.
The Order There is no order here.
Only non-scary sins that float out of
your body in a white gaseous form
that other people can eat. Yummy!
At Madstone: 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30,
9:40 2 Stars.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The
Curse of the Black Pearl Again:
Johnny Depp= the man. Especially
when he finally gives somebody like
Jerry Bruckheimer the break he's
been waiting for. At Showcase:
12:35, 3:40, 6:30, 9:25, 12:15 (Fri.
and Sat.) 4 Stars.
Seabiscuit Definitely the most over-
rated movie of the summer. Slow
and boring, they should've stuck to
profiling the horse. But William H.
Macy is still, of course, absolutely
awesome. At Madstone: 1:30, 4:15,
7:00, 9:45 At Showcase: 12:45,
3:45, 6:40, 9:40, 12:25 (Fri. and
Sat.) 3 Stars.
Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over
Robert Rodriguez deserves mad
props. Who else can turn out two
third installments of two different
trilogies in the same year? At
S.W.A.T. More like not. Oh how
Collin Farrell can be so overhyped
and so not good at the same time.
Onl in Hollywood. At Showcase:
12:00, 2:30, 5:05, 7:55, 10:20,
12:35 (Fri. and Sat.).
Whale Rider If there's one foreign
film you go see this year, make this
it. At Showcase: 6:50, 9:10, 11:25
(Fri. and Sat.) 4 Stars.
Cam So not like camp. Ruined the
fun I had hoped for. State Theater
7:15 p.m. 2.5 Stars.
Dirty Pretty Things I like kidneys
too MateTheater 78& 9:15 p.m. 4
Le Divorce Making fun of people's
depression in a theater near you.
Michigan Theater 7:15 & 9:30 p.m.
Step into Liquid It's a visual
orgasm. Michigan Theater 7 & 9:15
p.m. 3 Stars.
Swimming Pool Sounds nice, but
it isn't. State Theater 9:30 p.m. 3
DSO: Verdi's Requiem In mem-
ory of the victims of the Sept.
11th, 2001 terrorist attacks, the
Detroit Symphony Orchestra will
open its classical season with a
performance of Verdi's Requiem, a
piece known for its artistic, emo-
tional and spiritual qualities. 8
.m., Detroit Opera House, $15 -
Fruit More angry female folk rock.
Finally. Anyone else wanna cruise this
show for chicks? The Ark, 316 S.
Main St. 8 p.m. $13.50. 761-1451.
Homeland Security Fest: Cobra
Youth My favorite cobra youth was
always little Storm Shadow, back in
the early days. Elbow Room, 6 S.
Washington St., Ypsilanti, 10 p.m. $5.
Smokestack Sigh, it's either a drug
reference or a commentary on cor-
porate America's approach to envi-
ronmental concerns. Or a crap y
band name. Blind Pig, 208 S.irst
St., 9:30 p.m. $5 ($8 under 21). 996-
American Splendor It's funny, just
like the comic. Trust me. Michigan
Theater 7 & 9:15 p.m. 4 Stars.
Dirty Pretty Things State Theater
7:15 & 9:45 p.m.
Le Divorce State Theater 7 p.m.
St into Liquid Michigan Theater
7:1 & 9:30 p.m.
Swimming Pool State Theater
DSO: Verdi's Requiem See
Tim Reynolds Expect to see thou-
sands of dudes in backwards hats
who are somehow on a first name
basis with this guy. DMB still blows.
Blind Pig 208 SFirst St., 7 p.m. and
10 p.m. 918. 996-8588.
Lonesome Dan Kase Originally
called Always in Good Company
Dan Kase, but that was just a lie.
Crazy Wisdom Bookstore and
Tearoom, 114 S. Main, 8:30pm.
Jeff Hamilton Trio I think it's an
unwritten law that you're not allowed
to have more than three people in
American Splendor Michigan
Theater 4, 7
9:15 p.m. r
Next you'll be -
sa yin they should have their own
schools. You're a raving anti-dentite
Espresso Royal Caffe, 214 S. Main
St.. 9 p.m. Free. 668-1838.
DSO: Verdi's Requiem See
Thursday, 8:30 p.m.
Nokia Sugar Bowl Hear it, See
Play It Tour Kickoff your Football
Saturday with free food and music a
Elbel Field from 10:30-3:30. Bands
performin indude, Wakefield, Josh
Todd and Riddlin' Kids.
Steve Hardella, George Bedar
and Mr. B Mmmm, rockabilly.
Ls aBa tattoo bingo.
The Firefly Club, 207 5. Ashley St.,
p.m. $20. 665-9090.
Color & Desigr
AS SEEN IN MOdER
ANd ON TLC's"
Look FOR US IN ThE
208 E. WAshii
your band at the Bird. Ronnie
enforces it with an iron fist. Bird of
Paradise, 312 S. Main St., 8:30 p.m
and 10:30 p.m. $20 ($15 student).
4:45, 7:15, 9:45
& 11:45 p.m.
Le Divorce State
Theater 2, 4:30 &
& 9:30 p.m.
If you like
with a bra
Phone Numbers: Michigan Theater: 668-8397; Quality 16: 827-2837; Showcase: 973-8380;
Showtimes are effective Friday through Thursday. Matinee times at State Theater are effec-
tive for Saturday and Sunday only.