6 4A - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, November 7, 2002 OP/ED aloe 9ll[icl gttu ttil 420 MAYNARD STREET ANN ARBOR, MI 48109 letters@michigandaily.com EDITED AND MANAGED BY STUDENTS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SINCE 1890 JON SCHWARTZ Editor in Chief JOHANNA HANINK Editorial Page Editor Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority of the Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily. NOTABLE QUOTABLE t It was a vote against the hollow negativism, cowardice and mediocrity of the current Democratic Party. They have nothing to say; and that matters." - Andrew Sullivan in his weblog yesterday, andrewsullivan.com, on Tuesday's election results. JENNIFER GREENE JENN' CORNER a- 9 SEARCH Ol 0'ASIM4 CWT es... 0 ~do&+tA~a, t IT ess .t 0 .0 00 0 { n .ra 6 ~Grcevee Do the math: Evil will prevail LUKE SMITH THERE IS NO 1 IN COLUMN Slowly, battle lines are being drawn across the global community. Some con- flict is creeping up, and undoubtedly, the United States will either be at its center, or just get in the middle of it. Like RISK - the game of total world domination - the United States is seeking countries, although not to conquer, but instead, to garner their support. Those who join us will be champions. It has to be that way, right? For decades, the United States has thrust itself against numer- ous adversaries, drafting themselves as the lynchpin of both the world economy and the world's chief protectorate and defender of the realm. That is the way it is, isn't it? Consequently, because of our escalated position, the world of war politics and the alle- giances contained therein are often drafted in two colors - black and white. The United States' role as defender of the light allows Pres- ident Bush et al to subscribe to a simple arith- metic in the new hotness of political debate - the Iraq issue. The equation is quite simple, even for the masterminds of U.S. policy: Axis of Evil Membership Card + Weapons of Mass Destruction = Invasion of your land. It's pretty basic stuff, this President business; could someone fax me an application? The enemies list is growing, unabated. Germany is opposed to a war in Iraq (since when did Germany stop liking war), France is against us too (the French are naturally predisposed to"be against Americans, so this really shouldn't count) and Russia is on the bandwagon too. Nevermind China, North Korea and Saudi Arabia, who have each tipped their hats against an Iraq Attaq (© Luke Smith). Forget the Axis of Evil, the aforemen- tioned nations, with their opposition of the indomitable and infallible reputation of the United States' foreign policy have outed themselves as the enemy of the United States and therefore - because of our incontinent benevolence - the proponents and undoubt- edly the facilitators of evil. The invasion equation faces a slightly dif- ferent application when applied to countries whose leaders have disrespected President Bush's father. Because of Saddam Hussein's urination on the United States' demands dur- ing President Bush Sr.'s reign. Instead of a simple addition problem, the equation's left side is raised to the second power. This effects the right side of the equation, by increasing exponentially both the likelihood and degree of a forthcoming attack. Based on the Bush arithmetic, North Korea is no doubt due for an invasion. Maybe we should even simulcast the attacks split- screen on FOX News: Double the violence, double the ratings. However, since North Korea's leadership didn't step to George W.'s pappy, like that big evil Saddam Hussein did, the formula for North Korea is altered. After leaving North Korea with our tails between our legs before, Dubya is no doubt hesitant to return, so instead of the equation of invasion, we sent North Korea a Happy Halloween card, with a Snickers bar and a note reading, "Disarm plz. - The U.S." But why should North Korea, or any country, have to disarm? Well that's easy. Because we said so. "Hey North Korea, this is the United States. Listen, you need to lose those nukes. The United Nations doesn't allow them; we're just acting on their behalf. Us? Yeah, we have nukes, but God likes us, so disarm, pagans! Since we are God's favorite country and consequently always correct, what if God liked France more than us and France got to use our foreign policy "techniques?" Imagine French President Jacques Chirac giving the Oval Office a ring: "Hey G-dub, bonjour! Lis- ten, things are getting sticky-icky-icky over in your neck of the woods, so I wuz thinkin' we're going to send some troops into Detroit to get some of the crime and murder under control. It is just a peacekeeping force ... and they'll be there tomorrow. Holla. Merci!" Not in 10 million years would France's peacekeeping troops be allowed in this coun- try. But, one of the privileges of lbeing The Chosen Country is the hypocrisy that comes with being King. So naturally, we're the first to butt into other countries' business - because father America knows best. Somewhere in his tower a couple weeks ago, Donald Rumsfeld was scratching his head and furrowing his brow thinking, "if we'd just taken care of that hostage situation in Russia for them, then they would be all over this war in Iraq business with us." Ah, the brilliant push-pull of the foreign policy, a policy whose mantra is coded along the lines of: Hey nations of the world, we'll help you out whether you want it or not, but first, pledge your allegiance to our flag. Luke Smith can be reached at lukems@umich.edu. la *I LETTERS TO THE EDITOR 0 Daily cares about its own profits, not the intellectual growth of 'U' students TO THE DAILY: In yesterday's Daily, the editors of the Daily argued that the Collegiate Readership Program is nothing more than "a corporate money-making scheme," Gannet news suspi- cious ... (11/06/02). The Daily seems to think that by offering free newspapers to stu- dents, local newspapers like the Ann Arbor News and the Metro Times will suffer. It seems obvious to me, and most likely to everyone else on campus, that it is the Daily stands to lose the most from the Readership Program. I would venture to guess that not many students paid for local newspapers on a regular basis before the Readership Pro- gram began; they obtained their news from the Daily or a free online news source. I, for one, welcome the addition of other news sources that can provide students with a broader view of national and world events. The strength of local newspapers is that they provide detailed information on local events, Gannett's Collegiate Readership Program does not infringe on this in the least. Accordingly, I hope that students continue to support the program. The Daily's doomsday prediction of the downfall of local media is nothing more than a feeble scare tactic to maintain its own "bot- tom line." As far as I can see, the only "money-making scheme" here is one in which the Daily attempts to portray a laud- able idea in a negative light. ERic WILFONG LSA senior AMI supports productive and honest discussion on Middle East politics TO THE DAILY: Last week, the Daily Editorial Board criticized the pro-Israel ads that have recently been published in the Daily as detrimental to the dialogue on the Middle East, (Diminished dialogue, 10/31/02). As representatives of the pro-Israel camp on academic and cultural perspective. It is not our goal to insult and demean the discus- sion by issuing propaganda against Pales- tinians, Arabs, Muslims, Christians and etc. And we do not condone the message that campustruth.org and Michigan Committee for a Safe Israel have been putting forth in the past few weeks. We stand behind intel- lectual discussion, academic discourse. We respect the claims of the other side. We respect free speech and the right of every- one to express their beliefs, whether we agree with them or not. What we do not respect is extremists on both side of the dialogue throwing rash offensive accusations, spreading meaning- less and close-minded rhetoric and advanc- ing ideas that only further enrage both sides and alienate community not closely identi- fied with the debate. In spirit of peaceful coexistence, we urge both sides to use rea- son and compassion in this discourse. Irra- tional, demagogic language is not going to lead to any peaceful resolution. Conflict in the Middle East is a complex issue that often involves language not to be thrown around lightly and situations easily taken out of context. As representatives of pro- Israel community on this campus, we believe that offending the other side is not a means to a solution. So whether it is the ads from campustruth.org or a speaker at the divestment conference advocating the destruction of the state of Israel, we believe that neither one is a credible means to a political dialogue, and we condemn using such means to attain political goals. We stand with Israel and it's right to exist in the Middle East. What we don't stand with is the mediocrity of propaganda and hate. We stand for peaceful coexistence and peaceful, respectful dialogue. Avi JACOBSON LSA junior YUUA DERNOVSKY LSA senior The letter writers are co-chairs of the American Movement for Israel The Daily misrepresented the Newspaper Readership Program for its own ends TO THE DAILY: conspiracy theory that Gannett is out to crush the Ann Arbor News and Metro Times. The Ann Arbor news is not even a flea on the big dog Gannett's ass. If Gannett wanted to tank the Ann Arbor News, it could do so effortlessly. To assert that Gannett would be forced to use a newspaper readership pro- gram to accomplish this task is laughable at best. Next time you pass the newspaper rack in front of the Union at 8 p.m., take a look at which papers are sold out and which are still on the racks. The USA Today sells out, the Ann Arbor News doesn't even come close. And this is Ann Arbor. Second, the Daily whines about how this. program will have to be funded by either the University or the Michigan Student Assembly. According to one of the people who helped bring this program to the University, if the Uni- versity decides to keep the program, it will cost $72,000 a semester. That's less than $2 per stu- dent per semester. If you wanted to go to a newsstand and buy one copy of each paper that is available free in this program, you could not do it for $2. And that is simply one day. Uni- versity students pay $6.69 per semester for MSA. Even if the University decided not to foot the bill and MSA did, worst case scenario the fee increases $2 per semester. That's $8.69 total. University of Wisconsin students pay over $300 per semester. Third, a much smaller detail. Metro Times would suffer very little if the pro- gram were to continue. Metro Times is a metro Detroit rag. Ann Arbor makes up an extremely small portion of its readership base. I realize that you were making a ludi- crous argument and were grasping at straws for something to back that argument up, but some of us aren't from out of state, some of us know what the Metro Times is. A bomb could be dropped that would wipe out Ann Arbor and Metro Times would be fine. THOMAS WHARRY Kinesiology senior LETTERS POLICY The Michigan Daily welcomes letters from all of its readers. Letters from Universi- ty students, faculty, staff and administrators will be given priority over others. Letters must include the writer's name, phone num- ber and school year or University affiliation. The Daily will not print any letter that can- not be erified Ad hominem attacks will not I I .7I, ( ' ihr airps,~r i' ntthat ! Am