The Michigan Daily - New Student Edition - Tuesday, September 3, 2002 - 7D Pollack admits his new novel is the year's funniest By Luke Smith Daily Arts Editor The literary defense system has been threatened at the seams as of late by the sprouting army of like-but unlike, casually ironic and completely satirical brains working out of a central location somewhere in the McSweeney's compound. Neal Pollack is one such brain. His first novel "The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature" satirizes itself, while NEAL satirizing satire all woven through a slew WSG GL of short stories. JIM The book, Pollack's first (although he claims to have written scads of books in At the the Introduction, including a version of 122 W. the Bible which was later adapted into a Tony-winning musical called "Neal Pol- April lack presents the Bible") was at its hard- cover inception, the first literary offspring from the McSweeney's birthing stirrups. His anthology features a variety of stories mocking the typewriter-toting, white male journalist of the mod- ern-era. Pollack aims much of his book's satire toward the crosshairs of authorial vanity, taking vicious shots at ego with a pump-action twelve-gauge. On tour currently, Pollack took time to answer a series of questions from The Michigan Daily via e- mail. The Michigan Daily: Question the first. This inter- view, like many of the things I've found myself involved in lately is POLLACK U ITARIST ROLL Del Rio Washington St. 9, 2002 incorrigible, incomprehensible, hackneyed and slapped together at the last moment with the cheapest form of crazy glue - it is no one's fault other than my own. How do you feel about things that are incorrigi- ble, hackneyed and incomprehensible? Neal Pollack: Since that pretty much describes my life's work, I have to say that I have a great deal of affection for such things. Some of our best art is incompre- hensible. TMD: McSweeney's Literary Collective is the Rat Pack of modern literature. Con- sidering that, who would you compare yourself more to - Peter Lawford or Joey Bishop? NP: Definitely Peter Lawford. My friend Kenneth, who is lounging next to me as I look at his "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" and Jobs With Justice posters, agrees. "In no way are you Joey Bishop," he says. I actually think I'm Sammy Davis Jr. TMD: How do you feel about being placed into this sort of post- modern pantheon of writers by my Creative Writing GSI (Graduate Stu- dent Instructor, for the sake of Mr. Pollack) amongst others? NP: I don't feel that I am a post- modern writer. Yes, there are some tricks that I deploy, and my work is self-aware, but for the most part, I think I'm a realist, even if my work is satirical. My narrative style is not tricky, and my prose style is clear and unelliptical. Besides, I thought post- modernism was dead. TMD: (Interrupting Mr. Pollack) I have a general problem with this idea Courtesy of Harper Collins of post-modernism, on a few accounts. First, it feels like I must've missed out on something modern, and I'm left in some sort of proverbial dust. You are living in very modern times, far as I can tell. Second, how can anything be post-modern, if what I'm living on a daily basis is mod- ern, I'm not living outside of this modernity and into something post, am I? NP: Exactly. TMD: Why is insincerity funny? NP: I'm not so sure insincerity is funny, and I'm not so sure my work is insincere. I sincerely satirize what I satirize, and that may be why it's funny, if you think it's funny. TMD: Why are untruths funny? NP: Well, I don't know for sure. But untruths gener- ally mask a larger truth and ... I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. TMD: This is your opportunity to promote your book. Go! NP: It's definitely the funniest book published this year, definitely funnier than Michael Moore's unfunny book, and, why not, may even be a classic of its kind. It also has sexy naked pictures of me and lots of blowjob jokes. A little something for everyone, except maybe grandma, unless your grandma is Diane DiPrima, and then she might appreciate it. TMD: Back to this idea of the McSweeney's Literary Army - there is an assault of authors publishing in McSweeney's, getting book deals and marching forward in a literary takeover, keeping this in mind, which G.I. Joe team member are you in this attack on the Cobra of the Literary-World. Side note: Duke is taken, Dave Eggers is Duke. NP: I like the guy in the Marine Corps who wore his dress blue uniform. He had the shaved head when he took his hat off. He kicked ass. Editor's note: The G.1 Joe in question is Gung-H1o circa 1987. TMD: When you brought The Neal Pollack Antholo- gy of American Literature from McSweeney's to Harper Collins for the paperback edition, were you selling out? If so, is the selling out working well for you? NP: I don't think I sold out. The book, if anything, is even harsher on the literary establishment in this edition, which is about 100 pages longer. The idea of a writer "selling out" is absurd. The vast majority of LITERATURE Neal Polla ck writers don't make any better than a middle-class salary. If selling out means having my books in more bookstores, then yes, and yes, it is working for me. That's not to take anything away from McSweeney's, which is the greatest, but in the end, an independent publisher can only take you so far. The big publishers and chain bookstores have a hammerlock on the industry. TMD: Inevitably the book signing will yield a slew of private, personal moments for recipients of your sig- nature, moments that they will cherish indefinitely - moments that will be bought out when signed copies of your book appear on Ebay, selling for ridiculous amounts of cash that you will never see - how does that grab you? NP: I think it's hilarious. If I am going to be a cultur- al commodity, then I want to be one all the way. Sell my used toilet paper for all I care. Isn't this the cat's meow? Everyone, Mr. Neal Pollack. 'Blade' banter over bloodletting Co-stars Luke Goss and Wesley Snipes hype up s'caner' new action/horrorfick sequel By Lyle Henretty Daily Arts Writer "My personality is very eclectic, very international, very very open," Wesley Snipes intones in his quick, deep drawl as he contemplates his role as a black role-model in Hollywood. "I've studied not only different mar- tial arts styles from all over the world, but acting styles from all over the world .... I think my work kind of reflects that, and I think I gravitate towards that. I want [black actors] to be respected on the world stage for being quality craftsman." The actor, along with his "Blade II" co-star Luke Goss, spoke with The Daily while foregoing the usual press junket for a more informal "club tour" stop in Detroit. Snipes returns as the title half-human/half- vampire in the surprise 1998 comic-book inspired CGI blood-fest. "This movie is scarier," Snipes promises. "This film is more loose, and we brought back some of the same pop culture references: The look, the style, some of the same actors and characters. Blade is a little bit more relaxed in this one." "In keeping with the comic book tradition, which is episodic, we though, wow, we should do some things in the movie that would lend themselves to a second," said Snipes, though he assures that the film is more than just chance to cash in on the success of the first film. "I think this film is fantastic and I hope that not only it does better this time than the first one but also keeps the audience anticipating a third." At the men- tion of anchoring a franchise, Snipes smiles. "I've seen it work for Mel (Gibson) and Danny (Glover). It did very good, so I don't mind learning from some guys that are wiser than me." Goss, a British stage vet and former member of the pop duo Bros, adjusted his intense style to incorporate the thick latex make-up that turned him into virulent bloodsucker Nomak. "The one thing I asked the director was to make sure that [there weren't] any frowns or any- thing sculpted into it," Goss said. "I wanted it in complete repose so that anything that the character needed I could bring to it." After assim- ilating with the costume, Goss used the hideous fagade to the advantage of his characterization. "It became an asset, it became the biggest friend that I had." While his careful work in "Mo' Better Blues" and "Jungle Fever" brought Snipes critical acclaim early in his career, it is his role as an action star that has brought him international fame. His affinity for mass- consumed blockbusters stems from the many cinematic uses of a big- money paycheck. "The difficulty is finding the writers and also the funds to do that. So this is why we do the 'Blades.' We take the revenue from the 'Blades' and fund all of the disappearing acts." The actor hopes to parlay some of his current success into the produc- tion of a film about the notorious Black Panthers and a respite from his extreme physical exertion. "We hope to revisit it next year. Comic book action heroes, man, you know what I'm saying, a brother gets tired, man, by the time it's over with." Goss attempted to undercut the comic-book aura of the film by playing Nomak at a slightly lower pitch than the average graphic novel baddie. "The thing about villainy, I think, is that it kind of applies, real back to as it should do, to the reality of life. And villainy is always like, if you have someone who is very powerful and very dangerous, they don't have to be waving their arms. Like in real life, the guy that's giving it the arms and giving it the mouth, he doesn't want to fight. The guy that comes up to you, toe to toe and says 'So what's going to happen?' Hes the guy you shake his hand and say 'Hey, let's just move on.'" The two men concur that the sequel's graphic complexity and increased gore quotient were due mostly to the trained (if slightly bizarre) hand of director Guillermo del Toro. Known mostly for his stylish horror films, del Toro brought his sensibilities With karate he'll kick as a former make-up artist to your ass. breath undead life into his character. "[Guillermo] knows where he's going to put his stuff, but he wants every angle, and you don't question the guy." Snipes admits thathe would question del Toro, but only for the good of the film. "[He] doesn't come from an action film back- ground, and in many ways he h a d s o im e a appre - hensions a b ou t kind of film. So we made an agreement, 'I'll defer to you in the areas you know best, you'll defer to me in the areas I know best."' Goss sums up the director in a simplistic way that would make his fans proud. "He's one of the biggest men you'll ever meet. He has a big big big hear and one of the sickest in i n d s you'll e v e r meet." While Snipes is known for his tough-guy, martial arts roles, Goss had to prepare for nearly half a year for the films intricate physicality. "The whole thing about this movie, from start to finish, was about preparation. ... The mar- tial arts training was tough because I hadn't done this before, and I wanted to bring a dynamic to the role. I wanted to be a valid nemesis and also a valid contribution to the film because I was a big fan of the previous [one]." Snipes' own physical problems had less to do wth the work than with the conditions filming on location. "The Czech Republic is as cold as I've ever been" the tough-guy laughed. "It's extremely cold. It doesn't do much for your male ego." Despite his humble admission, the press was still anxious to hear Snipes reaction to his status as a universal sex symbol. "My voice gets deeper, and say 'Right on.' Is that what they say? Well, right on." (734) 975-9429 Classical Instruction in Kung Fu Qi Gung* wuyaodao@aol. corn Going to or from the Airport? Call Metro Connection Airport Service Special Price: $39 for UofM students and Ann Arbor residents. Welcome to Corporate Accounts. One to four people. No waiting charge at airport. We provide Lincoln & Cadillac luxury taxis. 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