E 6B - The Michigan Daily -- New Student Edition My education is more important than your children AUBREY HENRETTY NEUROTICA MSAs staggering journey to war d irrelevance ZAC PEsKowITZ THE LOWER FREQUENC ES The Graduate Employees Oranization's latest contract chnsnegotiations and dugout-style chnsfor solidarity-in-the-face-of- the-evil-oppressor have been wildly entertainig. It's been delightftul to see the University searching in vain Sfor a subtle way to call GEO organ- izers whiny little brats, the under- graduate GEO cheerleading squad insisting that depriving graduate stu- dent instructors of childcare is a crime against humanity and the vocal opposition voicing insightful words of dis- sent (e.g. "GSIs suck!"); I could hardly decide who to laugh at first. I am pro-GSI; I recognize the contributions they make to my education. I am pro-union. I am pro-GSIs-having- unions. There's nothing better than a group of people whose express purpose is to damn the Man (or the Univer- sity, as it were) whenever it sees fit, even if the Man/Uni- versity in question is benevolent and not in need of damning. The Man and the University tend to be honest more often when they think others are watching. Unions have high self-esteem. Unlike individual workers, who are small and weak and mumbly, unions do not ask nicely. Unions demand. But once the demands surpass a certain level of absurdity (a com- pletely subjective level which only I and others I deem of comparable intellectual prowess are capable of iden- tifying), the battle hymns start to sound suspiciously like whining. Ask any 22-year-old waitress who is paying her own rent and tuition and taking out her own loans if she thinks GSIs should have access to free childcare. She will say, "Childcare? They're going to graduate school for free. Cry me a fucking river. And hand me that ketchup while you're over there:' Is it because she lacks a full under- standing of the plight of the downtrodden GSI? Does her blase attitude toward profanity prove that she is not only simple-minded, but also bitter and morally bankrupt? Maybe. But maybe she has a point. Remember that her working conditions are horrifyinig compared to the GSI's slightly cramped communal office space and that she earns less money per year than the average GSI, even if you don't count the tens of thousands of dollars in tuition, the r~sum6 filler and the personally edifying teaching experience the GSI gets. With her meager income alone, the waitress must also eat and finance her education. From her perspective, GSI Joe has a pretty sweet deal. You can (and many will) blow this argument out of proportion. You can say, "So, what you're saying is that anyone born into ~a relatively stable household should not strive to improve her life just because she has it so much easier than that the kid down the street with the dead mother, deranged father, alcoholic older sister and schizophrenic younger brother" as smugly as you please, confident in the knowledge that you are better than me. Of course that isn't what I'm saying. Weren't you paying attention before when I was going on about how great unions are? iIt's just that when GEO starts shaking its fist about isright to unionize and its entitlement to free childcare, it starts looking like the multi-million-dollar-apiece cast members of marginally funny sitcoms striking because their latt~s are always cold by the time the star-struck intern can run them across the street from Starbucks. Easy on the hyperbole, you say. This is different. This is not about latt~s or millions of dollars. This is about children. Don't I think everyone has a right to free childcare? Would I like to tell little Jimmy why I don't think mommy's school/work should pay for him to go play with the other kids and expand his brilliant little mind while mommy is working and going to school? This is not about children. It's not. If it were only about children, GEO zealots would suck in their guts and take out a loan like everybody else before crying injustice at the University. All things considered, they would still probably graduate in shallower debt than peopln e pai thi ow tuition. GEG framed its disgeewth them (What? Are yusinyothk pople who have cildren should not haven equ access to education? You wn!).ulaces I am not saying that and I am not a worm. I am a student who has not lost sight of how lucky she is to be here despite the daunting tuition bills that periodically show up in her mailbox. I like children and unions and (iSIs. But I can't stand people who whine. Aubrey Henrety can be reached at ahenrett@umichkedu. 4 Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker: 9/11-ing the Death Star LUKE SMITH CRISIS IN THE HOLY LAND he Naked Mile was a d eb ae e. The thousands of Un iver sit y s tu- dents who eagerly lined South Uni- versity in anticipa- tion for something were extremely disappointed. A few members of Stu- dents Organizing for Labor and Eco- nomic Equality set an example by stripping down to their briefs and hoped the crowd would follow suit. A t mo st 50 students and random hangers-on participated. It was an unimpressive display. Unlike previous years, the Mile came and went with little advance preparation from the Michigan Stu- dent Assembly. Last year, Women's Issues Committee Chair Elizabeth Anderson printed "Naked Mile Securi- ty" T-shirts and MSA organized a pha- lanx of student volunteers to prevent groping and sexual assault. While their efforts proved to be relatively craon o lca plieag~eni es, MSA's willingness to strongly oppose the University continued in the vibrant tradition of activism that was once inculcated in MSA. This-year, lack of interest and apa- thy dominated MSA's decision-making process. MSA simply let the Mile end with a whimper. There was no con- certed effort to challenge the Universi- ty's stance. This malaise is not a recent development. With the notable excep- tion of last year's approach to the Naked Mile, MSA has rapidly moved away from the. political daring and activism that once defined and moti- vated MSA. In November of 1990, the Univer- sity erupted in protest and civil dis- obedience when the Board of Regents gave DPS officers the authority to carry firearms. While students occu- pied the Fleming Administration Building, then-MSA President Jen- nifer Van Valey stood in support and voiced her opposition from Fleming. "As of 9:30 tonight, there is a state of activism declared on campus," she shouted in support of a simultaneous sit-in on the lawn of the President's House. Her presence and support gave the demonstrators an authority and importance that only a popularly elect- ed campus leader can provide. This tradition of activism contin- ued into the '90s with MSA's refusal to passively accept former University President James Duderstadt's chal- lenges to students free speech. A 1993 ban that prevented students from rally- ing on the Diag during Martin Luther King Day and prohibited chalking led to a rally where former MSA Presi- dent Ede Fox denounced the restric- tions, "It's a tradition that a lot of people really care about, being able to come here and stand on the steps of the Grad library and hold a rally." In 1995, MSA President Flint Wainness secured a position for a student on the committee that authored the Student Code of Conduct. These MSA presi- dents acted boldly although they risked alienating student support for their parties and drew acrid criticism from both students and University administrators. Now MSA is content to put on a symposium and pass half-hearted, meaningless resolutions. Political con- cerns and the possibility of re-election have prevented the expression of MSA's conscience. W hil thi role is im otnt, M A anr better serve the University community through representatives proactively discussing issues. Representatives who serve as flash points for issues, criti- cism and controversy will reinvigorate a campus struggling with the throes of indifference MSA is vested with the authority to represent the University's students. It is the best mieans for student con- cerns to be addressed and taken to the administration. MSA needs to reevalu- ate its direction and this process must begin with individual representatives who are dissatisfie d with MSA's entrenched status quo. While the future of the Naked Mile is not the most significant matter at the University, there are pressing con- cerns that will benefit from an infu- sion of MSA debate and active involvement. If MSA representatives and executives assert themselves, the discussion concerning the termination of New Era Cap Company's contract with the University will be more robust and fruitful. These issues shouldn't be constrained to the domain of narrowly focused student groups, but should concern every member of the University. Zac Peskowitz can be reached at 4 4 L ke it or not, Luke Sky- walker .. terrorist. If Dubya was president of some intergalactic federa- tion a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, chances are he would have nothing to do with the impetuous, conniving Rebel Alliance. Yes, the impetuous and conniving Rebel Alliance. It is through narrative and cinematic slight of hand that viewers believe the Rebel Alliance is a group of socially aware upstarts seeking to equal- ize the way of life in the galaxy through the careful destruction of what the story depicts as the "evil Empire." This one- sided tale of intergalactic freedom fight- ing is something completely and altogether different at its core. Instead of simply being the championed tale of a small group spitting in the face of a con- trolling organization, careful examina- tion of Lucas' universe is relevant in a galaxy half-a-world away in the near- present day. The term terrorist is interchangeable with the term freedom fighter. Consulta- tion of the grail of credibility in all socio- political discussions (the Star Wars saga) reiterates the two terms vice-vers-age. Through Lucas' "Star Wars" films, view-. ers are forced to associate with the Rebel Alliance (who are little more than a group of rag-tag militants), while view/- ers are expected to hate the "evil, nefari- ously corrupt and oppressive Empire." It is through Lucas' eyes that we see the Rebel Alliance as freedom fighters, not the terrorists that they are. This is because of the story's narrative frame. Contrastingly, the story of "Star Wars" insists that we hate the Empire. They are shown as a malevolent order,. ruthless and cold-blooded. But the fact of the matter is, that the Empire is the ruling body of the galaxy. This is cer- tainly not designed to champion all rul- ing governmental ruling bodies, despite their track record, but the Empire (dis- counting the whole Alderaan fiasco) is a well-managed, well-funded govern- mental body. But, because Americans are so enthralled with the idea of democracy and the Empire is a dictator- ship, Lucas propagandas us into think- ing they are evil. How so? Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine's elimination of the Jedi is referenced in the original trilogy. It is the elimination of the Jedi (peacekeepers) that, is sup- posed to turn us partially against the Empire. But what the film fails to recog- nize is that there is no way that Vader and Palpatine's removal of the Jedi killed more people than Luke Skywalker's lucky pair of proton torpedoes. When the Death Star blew up, Luke Skywalker launched an attack of terror many, many times worse than the Sept. 1I tragedy. In fact, Skywalker's shot heard round the galaxy resulted in a million deaths, winked out of existence by the "good side" of the force. For those of you keep- ing track at home that'd be like blowing up all of Detroit. We could only be so . fortunate. Because of the interchange- ability of the rhetoric, both the Empire and the Rebel Alliance could be pegged terrorists. , The eradication of the Jedi is an interesting conundrum. It is here we see the Empire remove a faction that is a rul- ing body (Jedi Council) and after that elimination, the Empire instills its own form of government. Does this sound familiar to anyone else? While Sadaam Hussein is certainly not a benevolent lightsaber wielding peacekeeper, our hushed intentions to enter Iraq and replace him rings strangely true. While the United States refuses to deal with terrorists, we are guilty of entering numerous countries and' train- ing their residents as guerrillas. But guerrillas and freedom fighters are noble and just and good and right. Anyone we train is undoubtedly wonderful -- for we are the United States. Freedom fighters are terrorists. They are attempting to usurp a gov- emnent or a dictatorship through vio- lent means. This sounds strangely similar to the Palestinians actions in the Middle East. They are trying to free themselves and establish their own nation. They believe they are freedom fighters. Whether or not a Palestinian strapping a bomb to his/her chest and blowing the hell out of a grocery store is an act of freedom fighting or an act of terror is decided by the narrative point of view. Just ask big George, who has a high- er body count to his credit, Darth Vader or Luke Skywalker. I'll give you a hint' - it's the terrorist, not the dark lord. Luke Smith cnbe rahed a lukems(Euch. edu. 4 I 4 Navigating through 'U' Administration must find balance between guidance, independence Using our uniqueness If 'U' wants a stronger undergraduate -community, look to all A2 students first Acentral proposition of the Pres- ide nt's Commission on the AUndergraduate Experience is to increase contact between students and faculty. While this idea may have some mernt, the role of the University is not to serve as a jparental figure but to engender a spinit of independence among its undergraduates. Undergraduates must be allowed to grow and discover on their own terms. The University must carefully balance student independence wit h improved academic and social advis- ing that encour- ages students to ta a dvantage of ~ the University's \~' many resources a and events. A vital aspect ofthe re ort is the ' ~ro osa1 to over- ~ advising system. The University's ~ requirements forr both graduation Gn tions make advis- ~"- N ing .a critical ~ student need. But Form too often, advis- I I in gstops at the ' ~ gaua rudimentary level ,hPIw of informing stu- dents of require- i7~,/ ments and does " not continue by ~ develop in~ aer- tual relationship with advisees. Due to this lack of communication, advisers for the most part are often not able to tell students which classes would be personally enjoyable and interesting. The difficult course decisions that undergraduates are confronted with are all too often made with little sup- port and personal consideration. A possible threat to student inde- pendence is increasing the faculty dents an opportunity to begin the transition toward self-reliance. Facul- ty in the residence halls may need- lessly create conflict between students and faculty. The typical undergraduate's life and that of a middle-age professor are completely incompatible. In addition, the prop.osal abounds with logistical corn p ications. The size of the residence halls makes any attempt at this program almost in feasible. There would have to be a AMINFN number of D1~RRAUparticipat- EPORT program to have even a J' 'dence halls are alre ady above capaci- SSTUDENTS /tyf and any RADUTE YEARS faculty in th buildings will information, deprive under- Univesty' Under graduates o f rorta rooms in the '.mihaduca Iunderga r e s i d e n c e halls. H owever, -. the report also Ip contains many ide De nt - 7 the Universi- ~ - ty's enormous size, many opportunities go unnoticed by the student body. By better informing students of the University's cultural events and study-abroad programs, increasing the interaction between academic and social activities and removing obstacles to interdisciplinary and inter-college education are all ways the University can better the under- The President's Commission on the Under- graduate Experience acknowledges that surveys and studies show that the Univer- sity's undergraduate programs are strong. It is good to see that the University administration, even with such success, still strives to improve. In seeking to unify the academic and social lives of undergraduates, the report focuses largely on undergraduate housing. Unfortunately, it is clear that "the University as a city" pt or is taen very seriously by the Commssion - so senously thatteneetth context of the University within the city of Ann Arbor. The commission comes to the conclusion that an advancement of the undergraduate expe- rience rests on draw- ~ in*ndergraduates into on-campus N] housing; in doing so, the commission for- gets its own warning ~ about mimicking > ( - smaller institutions. -L One of the Universi- '- ty's major strengths ~ is the independence 'i# of its students - an NEslYH idpndne f- NEGHBORHOC pus expenience. - TOWN-GOWN I A"S UIQUEFor more informai ENVIRONMENT view th Uirs Unlike many Unegaut large public research htIwwumced institutions, the Uni-...Kc versity's Ann Arbor '~" campus does not sand alone n a is integrated into the V- , urban fabric of the a _______ city. The difiuision of campus into the neighborhoods that surround it make Ann Arbor an attractive place for students from around the world. If the University as an institution were trans- ferred to the land that Michigan State University occupies in East Lansing, our institution would be a vastly different place. The city of East Lans- ing and Michigan State's campus are two differ- ent entities with a clear division. Ann Arbor on the other hand has neighborhoods with individ- stories at Ivy League institutions and Stanford University. While these environments work in smaller institutions, such units, if fully integrated into the University community, would threaten the very nature of how the.University and Ann Arbor interact. The University should not pour resources into programns that would further cloister the campus and decrease the living inde- pendence of its students. It should understand that the "University as a city" metaphor neces- sarily includes the cit of Ann Arbor and use its resources to enhance ties between itself and the city. For example, studying off-campus housing patterns with he goal of implementing pro- N grams to better community life outside the residence halls would be a good step. Bettering ties to ~GR ADU organizations like the Ann Arbor 1' Tenant's Union would also be a positive step as well. 'U' RESIDENCE HALLS However that doesn't mean the University should ignore the residence halls either. Plans to >~7'. 1)'~renovate aging residence halls are Soverdue to make them compara- JSING, .<. ble to other universities. Some 5 AND reasons why so m any soho-hal; u s of residence hall amenities and n Lindependence. Any new plans should focus on suites and apart- ment-like set-ups where students can feel a sense of independence, :2:c-but are still initegrated into the commumt. A mandatory resi- dential college set-up, like the repor avocates, will not work om easehousing must also be partially en =""included in the University's advo- cacy of diversity. And cost must not be prohibitive. The report also calls for the end of home state "colonies" in the residence halls. Though a laud- able goal of extending diversity, this outlines a strategy to eliminate the ability of incoming freshmen to choose roommates or preference a particular area of campus to live. Giving students choice in living arrangements must remain an option. The University should make a better effort to encourage diversity within the residence MIECrnGAN HAS THE BEST CR0 5S5WORD P~UZZUES TH IS SIDE OF THNE' Misgggp KEEPS UP WITH$ THEE JONES' ALL TH E NEWS THAT'S FIT TO PRINT FOR GAMNGLY COLLEGE I(ID$ULKE. YOU RSELF. 1$ A FORCE OF NATURE, OUTREPORTlNG ALL OTHl~EM WHO TWINK TH EY ARE A REAL NEWSPAPER. UsEs ThE FOmcE. EVEN MIKE WALLACE READS IT. KICKS Th E ASS OF TH E STATE NEWS (ALMOST) EWV I 4 4 A