2B - The Michigan Daily - FOOTBALL SATURDAY - September 21, 2002
Projected depth chart
lbeF£tbiaturdy & I
September 20, 2002
9 Butler 7
or 80 Edwards
77 Pa pe 76 Petruziello
74 Solomon or 67 Lentz
FB si iey
62 Morgan 83 Joppru
79 Stenavich 14 Mignery
E LT NG RI
*ge 63 Smith 97Sa e 86 K
ha 99 PowellFita5A
54 Deckart 3 Tw 51 Bahr
43 Lyman Lye 93 Dodds
y5 ill4 Sanders
38 Bryant 25 Scalley
e phrase carries different connotations in
Tdifferent parts of the country. Customs
and traditions vary from Gainesville to
Boulder to State College, but at its essence, Foot-
ball Saturday calls to mind rich images of tail-
gates, marching bands and RVs. It is the college
experience; it is uniquely American.
Ann Arbor is no exception. Football Satur-
days at the Big House are extraordinary cultural
and social events. At The Michigan Daily, Foot-
ball Saturday is not just a time and an event, but
a thing - the thing you hold in your hand. It is
our opportunity to preview the game ahead and
assess the Wolverines' progress so far. It is a
taste of our football coverage, and we hope it is a
critical component of your Football Saturday.
David Horn J. Brady McCollough U Jeff
Phillips Joe Smith
J. Brady McCohough
David Horn Football writers
Jon Schwartz Editor in chief
Steve Jackson Managing Editor
David Katz Photo Editor
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'Photo is an impress
Benton 33 TB FB 37Austin
62 Souza 72 Vakalahi 5 oeatu 69 Gross
76 Herrion 77 Livai 5J aone 70 Aalona
RT RG C LG LT
2002 Michigan roster
53 Orr 97 Lazarus
99 Woods or60 Bowman
30 M. Curry
or 31 Combs
or 26 Curry
. u v...:..;......:.>
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Pos. Ht. Wt. Year/Elig.
FS 6-1 2175th Sr.
CB 6-1 189So. So.
RB 5-11188Fr. Fr.
RB 6-0 220So. So.
OLB 6-1 2435th Sr.
RB 5-6 152Fr. Fr.
QB 6-5 224Sr. Jr.
WR 6-1 206Fr. Fr.
QB 6-2 19lFr. Fr.
WR 6-3 213Sr. Jr.
PK 6-2 171Sr. Jr.
CB 5-11186Sr. Sr.
QB 6-4 212Fr. Fr.
DL 6-3 261Jr. Jr.
QB 6-3 208Fr. Fr.
TE/P6-3 250Sr. Jr.
LB 6-1 222Sr. Jr.
WR 6-1 169Fr. Fr.
QB 6-6 228Sr. Jr.
WR 6-2 171Fr. Fr.
WR 6-2 21OJr. So.
WR 6-0 202Sr. Sr.
RB 6-1 203Fr. Fr.
CB 6-1 199Sr. Jr.
FS -6-0 202Sr. Jr.
WR 6-2 20OJr. So.
RB 6-1 220Jr. Jr.
SS 6-2 201Sr. Sr.
DB 6-4 218So. Fr.
SS 6-1 1955th Sr.
WR 6-1 197Jr. Jr.
DB 6-0 184Jr. So.
DB 6-0 204Fr. Fr.
DB 5-11179Fr. Fr.
CB 5-11181So. So.
CB 6-0 182Jr. So.
FB 6-1 232Jr. So.
WR 5-11195Jr. So.
DB 5-11198Fr. Fr.
PK 6-2 20OSr. Jr.
FB 6-3 233Sr. Sr.
LB 6-2 212Fr. Fr.
WR 5-11190Jr. So.
LB 6-2 243So. Fr.
ILB 6-1 234Jr. Jr.
CB 6-0 1945th Sr.
P/K 6-4 206Jr. So.
LB 6-0 224Fr. Fr.
RB 5-10 207Jr. So.
OLB 6-4 240Sr. Jr.
ILB 6-1 247Sr. Jr.
FB 6-3 289So. Fr.
TE 6-4 231Sr. Jr.
WR 5-7 180Sr. Jr.
FB 6-2 2345th Sr.
LB 6-2 226Fr. Fr.
LS 5-112145th Sr.
50 Jeremy Van Alstyne LB
51 Mike Kolodziej TE
52 Ross Mann LS
52 Kolby Wells LB
53 Shantee Orr DL
54 Mark Bihl OL
55 Andy Christopfel OL
55 Jeremy Read LB
56 Lawrence Reid LB
57 Dave Pearson OL
58 Roy Manning OLB
59 Joey Sarantos LB
60 Grant Bowman DL
62 Courtney Morgan OL
63 Derek Bell OL
64 Stephen Baker DL
64 Jeff Gaston OL
65 Leo Henige OL
66 Andrew King LS
66 Paul Sarantos LB
67 Matt Lentz OL
68 John Wood DL
69 David Schoonover OL
70 Dan Simelis OL
71 Tom Berishaj OL
72 Rueben Riley OL
73 Joe Denay OL
73 Kyle Ealey OL
74 DemeteriusSolonm OL
75 David Baas OL
76 Dave Petruziello OL
77 Tony Pape OL
78 Gabriel Watson DL
79 Adam Stenavich OL
80 Braylon Edwards WR
81 Brent Cummings WR
83 Bennie Joppru TE
84 Kevin Murphy TE
85 Dave Spytek TE
86 Jim Fisher TE
88 Tim Massaquoi WR
89 Deitan Dubuc TE
90 Norman Heuer DL
91 Emmanuiel Casseus LB
91 Rondell Biggs DL
92 Dan Rumishek DL
93 Alex Ofili DL
94 Patrick Massey DL
94 MattStudenski TE
95 Alain Kashama DL
95 Mike Mandich TE
96 Chris Matsos WR
96 Larry Harrison DL
97 Shawn Lazarus DL
97 Luke Perl PK
99 Andy Stejskal WR
99 Pierre Woods DL
Courtesy of FOX
Go back to making beer commercials fatty.
sketch comedy of old
Pos. Ht. Wt. Year/Eli .
By Luke Smith
Daily Arts Editor
Inside the washed-out Savmart,
Seymour "Sy" Parrish has taken the
development of high quality, snappy
photos in an hour of less to an exact
science. The pictures he gives you will
be crisp, even if they aren't the size
you asked for. He greets your children
with an unnerving predatory smile and
offers them free cameras when it's
their birthdays. At first glance, Sy the
photo guy is the perfect employee:
Hard-working, devoted to the under-
standing of his customers, he even
goes as far as memorizing his favorite
Beneath Sy's bleached, broken
appearance and carefully
calculating demeanor lies
an individual with a dark
obsession. A giant wall of
pictures hangs on the wall
in his apartment, which is ONE
colored in flattened, bleak PH
colors, much like Parrish's At Stat
existence. The pictures on
the wall are meticulously Fox Se
cataloged and document his
favorite customers, the Yorkins. Sy. Par-
rish lives on the periphery of their
upper-middle class existence, and he
lives there alone.
Robin Williams' depiction of the neu-
rotic Sy Parrish is disarming. Williams'
voice-overs offer haunting fragments
like "according to the Oxford English
dictionary snapshot was originally a
hunting term." Williams is guided deep
into the obsessively dark Sy Parrish,
never breaking character.
Sy Parrish's subjects and prey, the
Yorkins, live a very normal life. Nina
Yorkin (Connie Nielsen, "Gladiator")
plays the part of the soccer-mom per-
fectly. She is well-kept and well-main-
tained, just like the home she keeps.
Her husband Will, (Michael Vartan,
TV's "Alias") works all of the time,
generating income for his family's
comfortable life. Their son, Jakob
(Dylan Smith) is as cute as he is inno-
By Douglas Wernert
For the Daily
Let's try and cook up a new show,
all right? First, take "Saturday Night
Live" skits and add the flare from
the cast of "Mad TV". Now throw in
an original king of comedy, and you
have "Cedric the Entertainer Pre-
sents," a new variety
show on Fox which'
features, you guessed
it, the big lovable
comedian Cedric and
his cast of three other CEDRI
aspiring stars (Amy ENTER'
Brassette, Shaun PRES
Majumber and Wendy
Raquel Robinson). It Wednes
sounds like must see 8:30
TV, but then some- F(
thing goes terribly
wrong: the show
Cedric calls his extravaganza an
"old-school variety show." Well, he
got that part right. The skits look like
rejects, or at least rip-offs, of old
The Sensation Dancers start off the
program with their gyrating move-
ment and then the man of the hour (or
maybe half-hour), Cedric, makes his
appearance and proceeds to injure all
the female rump-shakers with his
ridiculous movements. He gives an
uninspired SNL-esque monologue,
and then it's on to the skits.
Take the first one: A smooth playa
(Cedric) on a date with a girl who
proceeds to run into his hood-bred
ex-girlfriend who, after a few stereo-
typical lines (i.e. she went to the
movies to see Snoop Doggy Dogg
and Ice Cube in "Deader Than a
Mug") ends up fighting with the
other girl while a stunned Cedric,
who looks like he doesn't even
belong in the scene, proclaims to
them "This is better than the movie."
Skits featuring a golf announcer
sweating bullets and a gagging man
applying for a job also fall by the
wayside. However, two
sketches are tolerable,
the first being Mrs.
Cafeteria Lady (Cedric)
who insults her students
THE and personifies herself
AINER with various objects to
NTS show her attitude ("I'm
a cup of coffee. I'm hot,
ays at black and strong").
.m. The next features the
Love Doctor (Cedric
again), a suave Barry
type who encourages everyone to
"get their love on." Brief dance inter-
ludes and boring black-and-white
behind the scenes footage cap off the
If you're sitting around some
Wednesday night, waiting for "The
West Wing" or some other show to
start, "Cedric the Entertainer Pre-
sents" may be a good distraction.
Unfortunately, watching- Cedric
made out to be the star in these con-
densed, undeveloped skits when the
diamond in the rough is the support-
ing cast may cause you to start chan-
A quote from Cedric from his
Bud Light commercial fame sums
up his project best: "It's not that
bad." Unfortunately, it's not that
cent - Jakob sad early in the film,
wonders if Sy the photo guy has
friends and people who love him.
Mark Romanek both penned and
directed "One Hour Photo" a different
genre altogether than his previous body
of work. Before "One Hour Photo,"
Mark Romanek had primarily been a
music video director, handling clips for
Trent Reznor and Nine Inch Nails, most
notably the caustic video for "Closer."
Romanek carefully makes "One Hour
Photo" a collection of snapshots,
brought together through excellent art
direction and use of color.
The visual contrasts between Sy
Parrish and the Yorkins is evident in
the deep devotion to set construction.
Parrish's home is empty and antiseptic.
Aside from his wall of
Yorkin, the home feels
more like a hospital waiting
* * room than it does an apart-
ment. The interior is fabu-
iOUR lously colored in whites
TO and greys, flattened and
Masterfully foiling Par-
chlight rish's apartment is the lav-
ish, home of the Yorkins.
The barren walls of Sy's apartments
are countered are countered by walls
chocked full of pictures, trinkets and
gadgets. The colors are alive in the
Yorkin household as opposed to the
dead coloring of Parrish's life. The
Yorkins are the picture of the life that
Sy Parrish wants and can't have.
Parrish's desperate attempts to be a
Yorkin extend as far as offering Jakob
a camera on his birthday. He superfi-
cially attempts to ingrain himself into
the Yorkin household, whether it be
through watching Jakob's baseball
practice, or reading the same book as
Nina. In his fantasy world, he sits in
the perfect Yorkin home, watching tele-
vision, he eats their food, drinks their
beer, uses their restroom - he is
Uncle Sy Parrish.
When Sy discovers (through the
pictures he develops) that the Yorkin
family isn't as perfect as he believes,
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