4A - The Michigan Daily - Friday, September 20, 2002 OP/ED Gl~be lflrbigun 4 &dttlg 420 MAYNARD STREET ANN ARBOR, MI 48109 letters@michigandaily.com EDITED AND MANAGED BY STUDENTS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SINCE 1890 JON SCHWARTZ Editor in Chief JOHANNA HANINK Editorial Page Editor' Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority of the Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily. NOTABLE QUOTABLE So on one level they need congratulating, which a lot of people shy away from, which is a very dangerous thing. - British artist Damien Hirst to the BBC, on the perpetrators of the Sept. 11 attacks. In a BBC artigle which run yesterday, Hirst was quoted as apologizing or calling the attacks a "work of art." '/Thne. SAM BUTLER TI- .SO£APOX 4J - i } V/ r+uviao College eS~udAer-4 a S ca o~ J~ c O v Saddam, featuring Ludacris and Fozzy Bear DAVID HORN OtRNGRAPHY 0 spoke with my dear friends at the State Department earlier this week and told them I was strug- gling to conceptualize a column idea. I wanted to write about Iraq, because that seems to be the thing to do these days, but wanted a fresh angle. So the State Department arranged for Saddam Hussein to spend a few days with me here in Ann Arbor. We left Ann Arbor a few times (to Crawford, Tex., the Upper West Side, Guilder and Endor), but for the most part Saddam and I just kind of cruised around campus and around town, having all sorts of misadven- tures. Some excerpts from various conversa- tions follow, all of which, I think, provide a real insight into the essential Saddam Hus- sein. Guy at keg: Hey can I bum a Camel? Saddam: Hell, you can bum 400. Yoda: Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to anger. Anger leads to suffering. Saddam: Suffering? What do you know about suffering? I hear people in my country wipe with both sides of the toilet paper. Yoda: Hygienic that can't be, hmm? Saddam: The U.S. is going to invade. I need to outfit my troops. Mr. Allen: 29, two for 50. Saddam: Don't even bang unless you plan to hit something! President George W. Bush: Bombs over Baghdad. Fozzy Bear: Hey Saddam, I've got an . uncle in Ireland. Saddam: Oh really? Fozzy Bear: No, O'Reilly. Waca Waca Waca. Saddam: So, you're Michigan's long snapper? Michigan long snapper Joe Sgrol: So, you're a megalomaniac? Saddam: Ahh, touch6! Coach Lloyd Carr: Your supply of biolog- ical weapons is tremendous. And I've got to tip my hat to your offensive line. Saddam: Who was that Joe Sgroi charac- ter? Saddam: Knock knock. Jerry Seinfeld: Who's there? Saddam: Saddam. Jerry Seinfeld: Saddam who? Saddam: Sadam WHOssein. Kenny Bania: That's gold Saddam, gold. Can I take that? Viagra spokesman Bob Dole: With just one dose a day, your 21 concubines will be satisfied in no time. Saddam: They're whores, Senator. Whores! Michael Jackson: These allegations are false ... Saddam: Why the white man no like Michael Jackson? Saddam: Services? But I'm not even Jewish. Michael Brooks: Tonight is Yom Kippur. You should be with your family. Saddam: I think I'll stay here. Would you want to spend Yom Kippur with 21 whores and a sheep? Michael Brooks: This is Hillel. This is your home. It's good to be home. Welcome home. Ludacris: I got hoes in different area codes. Area codes. Saddam: Every other city I go. Every other video. No matter where I go, I see the same hoes. . Beta Rush Coordinator: Hey! Welcome to Beta! So what dorm are you in? Saddam: Ooh is that Faygo? And Bells pizza? Excuse me. Saddam: Shuss? Can't it at least be shus- sein? Professor Ralph Williams: I don't know, good friend, but fiesole is already taken. Andre the Giant: Saddam, is Iraq ahead? Saddam: If it is we'll all be dead. Saddam: Hey, I've got an uncle in Ireland. Cute sophomore girl Saddam is trying to impress with his sly wit: You do? Saddam: No, O'Reilly. Waca Waca Waca. Saddam: Is any of this at all funny? The Michigan Daily Editor-in-Chief Jon Schwartz: 111 years of editorial freedom. S 0 0 David Horn can be reached at hornd@umich.edu. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Congress should consider 'economic and human cost' before declaring war To THE DAILY: Brenda Abdelall's viewpoint (The new international police? 9/19/02) concerning the possible war in Iraq made several credible arguments for why peaceful negotiation is a better alternative than armed conflict for the United States as well as for Iraqi civilians. An article published in the Detroit Free Press today gives insight into further negative rami- fications of the conflict, citing the fact that fed- eral agencies are unprepared for the massive operation of cleaning up the debris in post- attack Iraqi society, and as yet have made no effort to coordinate with human rights organi- zations to offer the aid that will be needed by civilians that are injured or displaced by U.S. military intervention. Considering that the mil- itary agenda pushed by war hawks in the Bush administration would leave Iraq without a political structure or viable economy (a prob- lem compounded by eleven years of sanctions and the rule of a corrupt government), the U.S. would bear immediate responsibility for what would be essentially long-term occupation of Iraq, requiring the deployment of tens of thou- sands of troops over several years and consid- erable financial resources poured into rebuild- ing the country. In light of the implications of this situation, Congress would do well to consider the eco- nomic and human cost to this country before it decides to write a blank check to declare war on another. A successful attempt to settle the matter peacefully would both allow the U.S. to share this burden with the United Nations, and permit the federal government to focus on aid- ing the United States internally. SARAH BEDY LSA senior Combined system will only be a benefit if 'people actually use' bus service TO THE DAILY: The problem with the Daily's assertion that an expanded Detroit bus service "has the poten- tial to reduce harmful emissions from cars, alle- viate traffic jams and provide affordable transportation between low-income areas and jobs," (Combine the bus systems, 9/19/02) is that that only happens if people actually use the bus service. Has the Daily ever considered that the reason Detroit's bus service is "scattered" is because there's no demand for it? A few months ago when the mileage for Detroit's SMART bus system was nearly dou- bled to .60, an article in the Detroit News esti- mated that for ever dollar spent by people to ride a SMART bus, it costs eight dollars from taxes. So when the Daily endorses expanding what is little more than a money pit, which would undoubtedly increase taxes even more, sorry if I don't follow the logic. DAN LEVI Rackham LETTERS POLICY The Michigan Daily welcomes letters from all of its readers. Letters from University students, faculty, staff and administrators will be given priority over others. Letters should include the writer's name, college and school year or other University affiliation. The Daily will not print any letter containing statements that cannot be verified. Letters should be kept to approximately 300 words. The Michigan Daily reserves the right to edit for length, clarity and accuracy. Longer "viewpoints" may be arranged with an editor. Let- ters will be run according to order received and the amount of space available. Letters should be sent over e-mail to letters@michigandaily.com or mailed to the Daily at 420 Maynard St. Editors can be reached via e- mail at editpage.editors@umich.edu. Letters e- mailed to the Daily will be given priority over those dropped off in person or sent via the U.S. Postal Service. 6 VIEWPOINT Notion of 'Israeli Apartheid' a cheap, easy reduction BY ELAN DOBBS It is difficult to know where to begin refuting the insidious, not-terribly-well-con- ceived parallels invoked by Salah Husseini's editorial piece from Monday. To anyone familiar with the history and content of the Apartheid regime in South Africa, a direct comparison between it and Israeli occupation of the West Bank immediately sticks out as inane and inapposite. Unfortunately, in a world of catch phrases and over simplifica- tion, it seems that the talismanic repetition of such a provocative word, even when com- pletely divorced from its meaning and con- text carries with it a great deal of power. Many prominent members of the University community have made the irresponsible and ulation (viz., the Palestinians). While this hypothetical invasion bears striking resem- blance to the historical injustices perpetrated by European imperialists upon native popu- lations the world round, it has no bearing on Israel unless you believe that Jews have nei- ther a historical nor legal right to existence within any borders in the Middle East. The inescapable logical conclusion of Husseini's argument is that Israel must as a matter of justice and international law be dismantled and its population expelled. I have neither the space nor the emotional energy to respond to this, but it is worth noting that Husseini conveniently invokes "international law" (which is, of itself, a concept loosely thrown around without reference to its actual meaning) to damn Israel but seems to take no suffer as the Palestinians have. The settle- ment policy, especially since the early '80s and especially in Gaza and Hebron is, in my opinion foolish andwrong. These feelings do not, however, beg Husseini's conclusion that Israel's existence is an affront to the order of things, nor does it change the fact that the vast majority of Israelis would, if given the chance, embrace a peaceful Palestinian State next door (I say that with full understanding of what current Israeli opinion polls say ... these are the products of a country at war. I also don't really believe the Palestinian polls at the moment reflect the genuine opinion of that population. Take a look at domestic polls right now and you could falsely con- clude that Americans don't care for their own civil liberties). their te~rn sched~ues wher -fif 9tud t§ m~iae t is decision can theiraown. 1 A