Wednesday, September 18, 2002 michigandaily.com/arts mae@michigandaily.com ARTS 5 Superficial touches don't lead to much life in the 'Fastlane' By Katie Marie Gates For the Daily Attempting to appeal to lovers of the blockbuster hit "The Fast and The Furious," "Fastlane," created by McG ("Charlie's Angels") and John McNamera ("Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman"), fee- bly displays the undercover endeavors of three self- proclaimed police officers in Hollywood. The pilot begins with a racing scene. A good-look- ing guy is driving around a track. Sitting beside him is a mischievously attractive woman with a gun to his neck. She pro- ceeds to stick her hands down his pants in a very sexually suggestive search for a FAS' wire but is unsuccessful. The young man agrees to purchase the race-car for a large Wednesd sum of money. Intermitten flashbacks reveal that he is, in fact, a cop, wired earlier by his partner. As the transaction takes place, the partner is shot handing over the money. The woman disappears with the cash, leaving a distraught leading man and a dead body. A car chase follows, making it evident that driv- ing cars is a crucial part of the sad plotline. Thus, the program continues in a confusing and bizarre fashion. One who is looking for the next "NYPD Blue," "Nash Bridges" or "New York Under- cover" should not turn to this unconventional cop drama airing on FOX this fall. Don't expect to see Van Ray, (Peter Facinelli, "The Scorpion King," "Riding in Cars with Boys"), the Tom Cruise wannabe leading man, or his new not so witty partner, Deaqon Hayes (Bill Bellamy, "Love Jones," "Any Given Sunday") wearing a uniform or flashing a shiny badge. Tiffany Thiessen also appears as the hard-hitting Lt. Billie Chambers, who becomes the leader of these TI ay FO undercover cops by her acquisition of confiscated unending pristine vintage cars, motorcycles and money she deems "the candy store." She takes Van under her wing along with Deaqon, an NYPD cop and brother of Van's previous partner, determined to avenge the murder. The poorly written and even more poorly depicted characters (another reminder that Thiessen should have retired after "Saved by the Bell") set out on a case, if one could call it that, which is quite undefined and uninteresting. The audience learns that the race-car from the opening scene was actiually stolen and the subsequent plot revolves LANE mainly around money. There is a bad guy, of course, (Craig s at 9 p.m. Sheffer, "Family Law") and the sexy girl he uses as a pawn in an attempt to outwit X the cops. The two meet frequently on a beach to exchange briefcases, further dis- crediting the plotline, almost as if mocking an incredi- bly bad drama. Random scenes resembling music videos, graphic sex interludes, unnecessary action shots and the brief background appearance of rap rocker Fred Durst soon distract audiences. The situations are clich6, and at times, just bizarre, redeemed only slightly by interesting filming with "Matrix" type slow motion and Guy Ritchie style 360- degree camera moves. Students would be better off spending an hour studying or staring at the wall then waste time with this superficial drama. The pilot episode of "Fastlane" stirs little desire for viewers to tune in next week, but if you're looking for something good to laugh at, check out the show Wednesday on FOX, but make it fast, the cheesy cop drama won't be around for long. Courtesy of FOX How exactly did "Barbershop" make so much money? Ceic the En'hardly proves to be a king of comedy By Douglas Wernert For the Daily ridiculous movements. He gives an uninspired SNL-esque monologue, and then it's on to the skits. Take the first one: A smooth playa (Cedric) on a date with a girl who proceeds to run into his hood-bred Let's try and cook up a new show, all right? First, take "Saturday Night Live" skits and add the flare from the cast of "Mad TV". Now throw in an original king of comedy, and you have "Cedric the Entertainer Pre- sents," a new variety show on Fox which features, you guessed it, the big lovable comedian Cedric and his cast of three other aspiring stars (Amy Brassette, Shaun Majumber and Wendy Raquel Robinson). It sounds like must see TV, but then something goes terribly wrong: the show starts. Cedric calls his extravaganza an "old-school variety show." Well, he got that part right. The skits look like rejects, or at least rip-offs, of old "SNI" sketches. The Sensation Dancers start off the program with their gyrating move- ment and then the man of the hour (or maybe half-hour), Cedric, makes his appearance and proceeds to injure all the female rump-shakers with his ex-girlfriend who, after a few stereo- typical lines (i.e. she went to the movies to a see Snoop Doggy Dogg and Ice Cube in "Dead- *k er Than a Mug") ends up fighting with the CEDR other girl -while a ENTEI stunned Cedric, who PREc looks like he doesn't even belong in the Wedni scene, proclaims to 8:3C them "This is better I than the movie." Skits featuring a golf announcer sweating bullets and a gagging man applying for a job also fall by the wayside. However, two sketches are tolerable, the first being Mrs. Cafeteria Lady (Cedric) who insults her students and personifies herself with various objects to show her attitude ("I'm a cup of coffee. I'm Ric Lesd Qj hot, black and strong"). The next features the Love Doctor (Cedric again), a suave Barry White- style therapist type who encourages everyone to "get their love on." Brief dance interludes and boring black- ,and-white behind the scenes footage cap off the production. If you're sitting around some Wednes- day night, waiting for "The West Wing" or THE some other show to 'AINER start, "Cedric the ANTS Entertainer Presents" may be a good distrac- days at tion. Unfortunately, p.m. watching Cedricmade X out to be the star in these condensed, unde- veloped skits when the diamond in the rough is the support- ing cast may cause you to start chan- nel surfing. A quote from Cedric from his Bud Light commercial fame sums up his project best: "It's not that bad." Unfortunately, it's not that good, either. Courtesy of FOX The stars of "Fastiane" think they're pretty sweet. We don't. * PBS airs interactive 'Endgaime' By Ryan Blay Daily TV/New Media Editor Do you Have Acne? ยข If you have acne you may qualify for an investigational study at the University of Michigan Department of Dermatology. You may also receive compensation for your participation. If you are interested in participating, call the University of Michigan Department of Dermatology to find out more. Date: Wednesday, September 18, 8 to 9 p.m. Eastern Time. Topic: Rock-solid Jobs: Career Opportunities in Geoscience at Shell. Hosts: Mike Baranovic-Manager of Staff Planning & Development for Geoscience, Shell Exploration and Production-U.S. Chandler Wilhelm-Evaluation Leader, Shell International Exploration and Production. Place: Online at www.wetfeet.com C) 'r ftompo"P 0