Monday September 16,2002 michigandaily.com mae@michigandaily.com UIJEIE iWUadU ' ARTS 5A 'Stealing Harvard' stinks hard By Ryan Lewis For the Daily After "Freddy Got Fingered", it should be safe to assume that no film involving Tom Green could be any worse. It would also seem quite logical that the addition of once funny "Kids in the Hall" member Bruce McCul- loch as director, dry humored Jason Lee as the main character, and a sup- porting cast including Dennis Farina and John C. McGinley would have to produce at least a decent product. This is wrong. Green continues to nosedive from bad to terrible, and everyone else involved ends up being annoying or having their talent misused. With a plot that should leave room for wonderful slapstick, irony or even subtle humor, "Stealing Harvard" poorly attempts to show a middle- class uncle's struggle to pay for his niece to go to Harvard. The film opens with John (Jason Lee, "Almost Famous") explaining his theory on fate. We learn his parents died when he was 18 and he leads a moral life. He has a beautiful fiance who has a home business of making gift baskets, audibly sobs during sex and works for her overbearing father at a home med- ical supply company called Homespi- tal. All of this is conveyed through a lengthy voiceover montage. John and his fiance Elaine (Leslie Mann, "George of the Jungle") have just raised enough money to wed and buy a house, but something keeps John from happiness because it seems that the money might have to be used else- where. His niece was accepted into Harvard and he prom- ised to pay for it, but a she only needs about $30,000 because the rest has been saved and earned through STEAl scholarships. HARV When he returns home, Elaine informs At Show him that she put a bid Qualit on the dream house Revolu with the down pay- ment of the $30,000 they had saved. After calling every family member he could, drudge up without success, he has, for some "ourtesyf C o"umia"ictures It's not the Tom Green show anymore. unexplained reason, no choice but to turn to his friend Duff (Tom Green) for assistance. Finding Duff working at his landscaping job after apparently not having seen him for some time, they discuss John's options and con- coct a scheme to rob the home of the man for whom Duff does landscaping. Duff still lives at his mother's house and has the mother-son relationship of a pubescent teenager. His backhouse room serves as their "war room," as they discuss ideas and prepare for the robbery by dressing in all black and standing in front of a mirror. Stealing the money from the home becomes a foiled plan as the home- owner catches John sneaking about and forces him into a position less funny than out of place and disturbing. One scheme after another goes awry because of reasons varying from a Courtesy of MGM Darling, won't you go and cut your hair if you think it's gonna make him change. Ice Cube makes good in first surprise of fall Barb ershop' from the days when Green's shock comedy still seemed funny and fresh. Not only are his gags no longer funny, but the fact also remains that he sim- ply cannot act. Half the film passes by before he ever looks at the person he talks to, and too much time is spent isolating him in scenes that are unmo- tivated and completely devoid of any- thing remotely humorous. Jason Lee's usually funny manner is stricken from his character as the story makes him both stiff and boring. Less time is spent worrying about him fixing his relationship with Elaine, a secondary plot without substance, and supporting his niece than waiting for the two clueless characters to finally get the money. John C. McGinley, the notable supporting actor from great comedies like "Office Space" and "Nothing to Lose", is pointlessly subdued in a role that means as little to the film as the usually potent gangster nature of Den- nis Farina. Both technical errors and meaning- less conversation plague the film. Every attempt for comedy causes less laughter than the one previous. When the funniest part of the movie is the relationship between Green and a dog, more than just humor is missing. For a movie toted as a comedy, it is more a laughable one than one, that actually elicits laughter itself. In the words of the cameo character by the director himself, "This is bad. This is really bad." By John Laughlin For the Daily Every so often, a film comes along that surprises the viewing public. Springing from the pen of Mark Brown, writer of "How to be a Player" and the mind of director Tim Story comes "Barbershop," a hilarious tale involving the importance of friendship, family and community. The film opens with the "smash and grab" of an ATM by two unknown thieves. The film will return to this subplot throughout the film for additional comic relief, but it will also literally serve as a quasi deus ex machina towards the end. Across the street from the robbery site is Calvin's Barbershop. Calvin (Ice Cube) has been running the family shop for the last two **AA years since his father's BARBERSHOP death, but he has his own ambition of opening a At Showcase and recording studio in the Quality 16 hope of finally turning some kin'd of economic MGM profit. As Calvin arrives at his shop in the morning, he notices the break-in across the street and soon receives his own bad news -- the bank cannot give him any more time to pay off his loan. Calvin must now struggle to save this family treasure. See 'Barbershop,' Page 8A LING JARD shotgun to a steering wheel club. Duff and John always blame the prob- lems on each other but forgive each other for no reason other than Duff can't stay.mad at John. Seymour Cassel and Chris Penn become entangled in the plot to try and help get the money, but only pro- vide more agony for John. Even Elaine joins the two case and ty 16 ution in hopes of fixing the situation. The movie is filled with overused cliches and the tiresome antics leftover Ice Cube negotiating a new record deal. Hubbard Street Dance Chicago opens the 2002 UMS season By Chrstine Lasek Daily Fine/Performing Arts Editor On Friday, Sept. 20, Hubbard Street Dance Chicago will be open- ing UMS' 2002-2003 season with a weekend of contempo- rary dance. There will be three separate per- formances, with a HUB varying repertoire fea- STREET tured each night. CHI Hubbard Street Dance Chicago was At the Po founded in 1977 by Sept. 20 an veteran dancer and Sept. 2 choreographer Lou $1 Conte. HSDC began University as an ensemble of four women, which gave its first public performance at a senior citizens home in 1978. It has since grown into a company comprised of twenty culturally diverse dancers, who perform annually for over 130,00 people. The company has appeared in forty-two states and fifteen countries, performing at different festivals and celebrated dance venues. During its twenty four year histo- ry, HSDC has become an innova- tive force in contemporary dance, BB) TI IC d 2 2 at 8-$ Mus combining theatrical jazz, modern and classical ballet to create an artistic style that is all their own. ARD The company also has DANCE an esteemed reper- AGO toire, incorporating the talents and visions er Center of such famous chore- 21 at 8 p.m. ographers as Mar- t 2 p.m. guerite Donlon, $40 Nacho Duato, Daniel sical Society Erzalow, Jiri Kylian, Kevin O'Day, Margo Sappington and Twyla Tharp. The company also regularly collabo- rates with emerging choreogra- phers, constantly expanding its repertoire to incorporate new and innovative ideas in dance. James F. Vincent, who has an extensive career as a dancer, ballet master, teacher and choreographer, Give us your money, our movie is horrible. JoiN THE MICHIGAN DAILY MASS MEETINGS SEPT. 17, 19 AT 8 P.M. SEPT. 23 AT 9 P.M. Do you Have Acne? m