Wednesday January 15, 2003 michigandaily.com/arts mae@michigandaily.com ARTS 5 'Smile' takes on beauty pageants By Jim Schiff' Daily Arts Writer Beauty pageants have always been one of Hollywood's favorite targets. Films such as "Miss Congeniality" and "Drop Dead Gorgeous" poke fun of the big hair, big teeth and even bigger smiles. It comes as no surprise, then, that musical theater offers its own take on the subject. The Ann Arbor Civic Theatre's pro- duction of "Smile" this past week- end had all the glitz and glamour of pageant films, with an added dose of song and a huge helping of heart. "Smile" tells the tale of the 2003 Young American Miss pageant, a fictional contest taking place in Santa Rosa, California. of guacamole dip, try to sabotage her chances of winning. And beyond the expected bickering and gossip among the contestants, there are a few girls who doubt their abil- ity to triumph, such as girl-next- door Robin Gibson (Kristina Thompson) and perky blonde Doria Hudson (Kristin Ritter). While not as sophisticated as, say, "West Side Story," "Smile" is nonetheless a tricky musical to per- form: The dancing numbers, such as "Shine" and "Y.A.M.," require a great deal of precision and syn- chronicity. Thankfully, the A2CT cast was more than up to the chal- lenge, anchored by the highly-tal- ented chorus of contestants. The girls were not only in- Sixteen incoming high- school seniors from all over the state convene in a hotel, and immedi- ately begin perfecting their talents, their dancing and, most of all, their widened grins. Couple Brenda DiCarlo (Elise Stemp- SMILE At The Lydia Mendelssohn Theater January 9th-12th Ann Arbor Civic Theatre step, but they also allowed their charac- ters to shine through. In particular, Lorna Colon as Maria Gonza- les hit all the right notes; striking a bal- ance between saccha- rine and cunning, she crafted an endearing, if Courtesy of the WB Ho? Check. Short person? Check. Washed up rocker? Check. Washed up rapper? Check. Corey Feldman? Double check. SO 'SURREAL ONLY THE WB COULD MAKE CELEBRITIES DULL ky) and Big Bob Free- lander (David Andrews), the pageant's organizers, try to keep everything running smoothly, while hoping to please the show's ticket holders and sponsors. As with all pageants, things go awry, and "Smile" certainly has its share of bloopers. Flamboyant dance instructor Tommy French, played to a hilt by Kevin Gill, insists on having a runway on the pageant stage, while some of the girls, upset over a Mexican contest- ant who can whip up a mean batch maybe a tad naive, pageant princess. The lead roles, though a little underdeveloped, were also handled well. Andrews, as Big Bob Free- lander, brings, an aw-shucks quality to his well-intentioned character, while Stempky steals every scene. she's in as Bob's wife. Coming to grips with her own pageant disap- pointment 20 years prior, she finally lets out her frustration on her coworkers, and the result is both funny and a little scary. Ritter also strikes gold as one of the more prominent contestants, showing off her considerable vocal talent on songs such as "Disneyland." Despite fine performances all- around, the real stars of this produc- tion were the costumes and the lighting. Kudos to designer Susan Pearlman for creating innovative and colorful outfits that were flat- tering without going over-the-top. Similarly, the gold-lit backdrop towards the end of the second act was truly a sight to behold; one could easily see such a spectacle at a real beauty pageant. With "Smile," director and chore- ographer Ron Baumanis truly outdid himself. He assembled a fine cast, which beautifully brought to life a story that's been told a thousand times. A2CT productions, always of high quality, have never been quite this seamless. After viewing a per- formance like this, one couldn't help but, well, smile. By Jaya Soni Daily Arts Writer This is the true story of seven strangers, picked to live in a house to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting surreal: "The Surreal Life." Intended to be the WB's newest gem on the reality show circuit, "The Surreal Life" places seven ex- celebrities in the confinement of country guitarist Glen Campbell's house for 10 days and nights. However - no surprise here - the characters cause conflict as their personalities are thrown into the intimate realm of a cozy, multimillion- THE S dollar home. L Unlike shows such as "The Real Thur World," these experienced entertainers 9p walk into the house with personal and Th emotional baggage already known to the general tabloid reading public. Or, if you are 2001 Playmate of the Year and "Baywatch" star Brandy Roderick, you'll walk in with several designer suitcases barely sustainable for this week-and-a-half California vacation. Thirty-one-year-old Corey Feldman ("The Goonies," "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles") has grown up and tamed his wild addictions with the support of his close girlfriend Suzy. Similarly, MC Hammer has reformed as a pastor and adoring father. Vince Neil of M6tley Crie maintains the rocker image while Gabrielle Carteris ("Beverly Hills, 90210") still looks and acts like Andrea Zuckerman. Jerry Manthey of "Survivor" has simply traversed from one reality show to the next and upholds her defensive demeanor. Among the entertainers brought back from the syndication afterworld, Emmanuel Lewis ("Webster") has changed the least and remains four feet tall with a bigger than life laugh. Though the seven cast members first met at "The Surreal Life" taping, many found in the first episode to they had * common interests and unusual similari- ties. Both Jerry Manthey and Brandy URREAL Roderick are recent features of "Playboy" IFE and Corey Feldman's ex-wife intermin- sdays at gled with Vince Neil. p.m Except for these occasional "coinci- ie WB dences," the house interactions are unexciting. The only controversy includes Corey Feldman's annoyance. with Gabrielle's motherly attitude, and MC Hammer's refusal to eat sushi from a naked woman (although the women had no problem with it). The most promising of scenes is scheduled for the final episode when Corey weds Suzy on live television, arising from an impromptu proposal in episode one. "The Surreal Life" lacks the adventurous tasks normally assigned in other reality shows. Exciting events are limited to trips to the grocery store where gaping customers are caught calling home to brag of the bizarre scene produced by these former celebrities. The cast has yet to leave the house for any social event except to collaboratively deliver brownies to other elitest neighbors. Not even this simple task creates any drama. The neighbors are not amused with the sight of unimportant and middle aged adults. The creators attempt to stir controversy with a daily "Surreal Life" tabloid that reveals cast member secrets and conflicting opinions. The tabloid caused little tension in the primary episode but may cause trouble for frustrated houshold members later in the season. "The Surreal Life" allows viewers to learn all the irritat- ing characteristics of ex-entertainers that the public never wanted to know. Many of the cast members have reached a plateau both socially and professionally and the show sim- ply proves that some famous people can have semi-normal lives. "The Surreal Life" offers little entertainment for the reality show fan and the creators should realize that this only creates boredom. New Beatz the same old story By Joel Hoard Daily Arts Writer Swizz Beatz put himself on the map producing for his uncles' Ruff Ryders collective, doing tracks for DMX, Eve and Drag-On. His unique, relatively sample-free produc- b tion style quickly made him one of hip-hop's most sought-after producers, and he was soon working with artists ranging from Jay-Z and- Busta Rhymes to Limp Bizkit and Marilyn SWIZZ Manson, hauling in millions of dollars and PRE' dozens of platinum hits. He even had the G.H.E3 privilege of contributing to the score of Oliver STC Stone's "Any Given Sunday." But apparently all of that wasn't good Swiz: enough for Swizz. Maybe he was sick of just DreamWo seeing his name in liner notes and wanted'it on the cover for once. Maybe he wasn't satis- fied with only two multi-million dollar mansions. Whatever the reason, he decided to release his own record, Swizz Beatz Presents G.H.E. TTO. Stories. :1 OP. :z cAl Despite only rapping on a few of the album's 17 cuts, Swizz proves himself a competent MC on tracks like "Ghetto Stories" and "Guilty." Ironically, it's the produc- tion that suffers. After all these years and all those hits, Swizz's style has become tiresome and repetitive. He does shake things up by sampling Booker T's "Sunny Monday" on "Ghetto Love," but any good that pretty, little acoustic guitar bit does is destroyed by shit- meister LL Cool J and rhymes like "Face me, BEATZ baby / Put your fingers in my mouth i Let me ENTS taste the gravy." .T.O. Fortunately for Cool J, his track isn't the UES worst on Stories; that honor goes to Metallica and Ja Rule's "We Did It Again." If pairing Beatz Metallica and Ja Rule sounds like a bad idea, {s Records it's because pairing Metallica and Ja Rule is a bad idea. Over a typical wah-guitar Metallica line, Ja does his best James Hetfield impres- sion, shouting "I'm a rock star, baby!" No, actually you're a, shitty Tupac rip-off who doesn't deserve a bit of his hope- fully fleeting success. How embarrassing. Mria still without the glitter By Joseph Utman Daily Arts Writer Any fan of Mariah Carey's epony- mous debut LP has likely been dis- appointed with her more-recent, better-recognized work. Her initial opus was an auspicious offering that displayed her considerable vocal tal- ents and this melodic crooning was t Courtesy of the WB Pizza dude's got 30 seconds. Genius the GZA is back to save hip-hop from the mindless By Joseph Utman Daily Arts Writer 2002 laid to rest any remaining doubt: Hip-hop has officially been coopted by mainstream pop music. Actually, not all Hip-hop has been seized by a mass audience, though cer- tainly the mindless, hook-driven works from artists like Nelly have. This phenomenon is perhaps only nal," the Wu's most talented soldier challenges the audience to both keep pace and understand his involved flows. This task is further complicated by GZA's efficiency, sparing no beats and spitting no filler. Really, Legend serves as a lyrical playground for one of hip-hop's most under-appreciated emcees, and a track like the sonic, celebrity invenzione "Fame" serves as a reminder that the further showcased, and her merit validated, by her fantastic perform- ance during "MTV Unplugged."CHARM Since then, Mariah has consciously moved Maria away from that vocalist Island/Def niche and instead set G up shop in the world of hip-hop (neighbored to the west by the inferior town Nellyville), secur- ing her place as a prominent R&B star known for catchy hip-hop col- laborations with rappers like ODB, Snoop Dogg and Jay-Z. However, following her well-documented and much-lampooned nervous break- down and break up with Sony Records, the embattled singer has returned on a new label with a very eclectic, underwhelming album. On Charmbracelet, Carey appears torn between the various styles and images she has previously cultivated during her 12-year career. This con- fusion and ambivalence makes many of the record's opening songs unimaginative and trite. There are standard ballads, like lead single "Through the Rain," generic medi- um-paced R&B tracks, like "The One," and tired rap-laced tracks, like "Boy (I Need You)." (This last track is particularly unfortunate, as it is simply Carey singing over Cam'ron's "Oh Boy" with a new verse from Cam addended to the end.) The album's first half is so bad - boring, formulaic, and hollow - that not even guest appearances from Carey's standby, Jay-Z, and his Roc-A-Fella disciple, Freeway, can save it from being skip- worthy on a CD player. If one were to listen to this record from BRACELET beginning to end, he or she might be ready to [h Carey turn it off by the eighth 4 Jam Music or ninth track, but that roup would be a mistake. Carey is able to shake off the rust she accumulated while, most likely, pitying herself in vari- ous negligees (as her turn on "MTV Cribs" demonstrated) and produces some quality songs set reminiscent of Mariah at her peak during both her smashing entrance into music conscience and her reign as hip-hop diva. The hip-hop infused "You Had Your Chance" and "Irresistible (West Side Connection)" are both decent head-bobbers, while "Sun- flowers for Alfred Roy" is a well- arranged song reminiscent of Mariah's "Vision of Love" era - a refreshing revival. Ultimately, though, Charm- bracelet will leave listeners disap- pointed, because not even the record's better songs make up for the awfully forgettable ones that are too frequent throughout this LP. cause for lament because the glorifica- tion of such mediocre, and sometimes awful, music relegates real rappers to the industry's background. It is there- fore unfortunate that a rapper's rapper, the GZA, returned to the scene at the end of a year that saw his brand increase in obscurity. LEGEND OF THE LIQUID SWORD GZA/Genius MCA Records Genius is- hanging upside down from the monkey bars, sticking out his tongue at other emcees and listeners trying to keep up. However, the album is not devoid of significant messages. Rather, the GZA uses his third solo LP as a chance to com- porarily saved by the listener devoting most of his or her attention to the words being dropped. Those seeking pop rap need not cop this, and should instead save their money for some Air Force 1's. 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