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April 03, 2003 - Image 13

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The Michigan Daily, 2003-04-03

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The Michigan Daily - Weekend ii4azilne - Thursday, April 3, 2003 - 108

The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magaz




He's very serious.

TOP 10
1. Get Rich Or Die Tryin',
SO Cent - While he was in da
club, we peed in 50 Cent's gas
2. Come Away With Me,
Norah Jones - Well, if the
Gramm y's said she was good,
it must he true.
3. Chocolate Factory, R.
Kelly - (Write your own
prison sex/statutory-
rape/chocolate joke here.)
4. Chicago, Soundtrack
- Nothing like showtunes to
make you want to jump out a
window and land crotch first
on a parking meter.
5. Fallen, Evanescence
- OK so we were wrong.
Evanescence didn't fall of the
chart this week, but their time will
come... Oh yes, it will come.
6. Cocky Kid Rock -
More like sucIzy. Zing!
7. Dixie Chicks, Home-
Being blacklisted for opposing the
president is the best thing they
could have done. Maybe now
people won't buy this record.
. Street Dreams,
Fabolous - Our dream is that
he ts hit by a bus.
9. Sean Paul, Dutty
Rock - Where did you come
from? This list has had the
same 10 assclowns on it for
weeks and you think you can
just waltz in here?
10. 8 Mile, Soundtrack -
Amazing how one song refuses
to die.
After fighting a battle with cancer
for over a year, Sharon Osbourne,
wife of rocker Ozzy Osbourne, has
beaten the disease.
Osbourne and her two children
were introduced to most of the
American public via MTV's "The
Osbournes," a reality TV show that
is a mix between "Real World" and
"The Adams Family."
News broke last year that she
was suffering from colon cancer,
but after extensive medical treat-
ment she is free of the disease.
"She's got no cancer in her body
now, they tell me, but there's
always a chance of it coming
back," Ozzy Osbourne told The
Associated Press. "She's doing
great, but I must confess that I'm
still worried about her."

. on't mess with xa. " It ight as well be ous events knows no miits. It was on the eve of the war, as
DBush 's official slogan. If w e ignore the BuIsh was making the final decision whether to attack, that
for.head.slappingly irone fact that the phIras h Ot sk glyle his ecowboy side show The pres-
was originaIly used to prom te protection of Texas' emnviron- ident,.in place of what should. have been a grave and heart-
ment- remnber that we are talkmg bo. a preidaent who :e directive, nstead uttered a two-.wor, macho war cry:
wants to drill for o i. the national parks and who thinks the "Let's g He then proceeded to run around the Oval
best way to preven forest fires is to increase kogging and O'fice, yellhng, "Yeee-haw. Let's ik the tires and hght the
"thin the forests"-~.its knot surprising that Buhsh adopted the fires" and firngtw revolvers in the air. F'm kidding of
phrase and changed it i to a macho caveat. course - they wouldn't tet him shoot the guns inside,
The president has always projected a slick, semitough- Then, of course, thereste Prsiltsmreenting use of:
guy aura. However, the war i has shown us how ugly good" an d "ei" to desnb& he partcipants n this war. But
cowboy dilomacy can hbe reni tis combined with iih this is nothing nen John Cii rights, shmivll rights"
soo.i-sty.l, smart-aleck anties. Ashcro and Donald "SkeletOr Rumsfeld have been refr.-.
1 understand and accept that in any war there is aiways ringto our fight against the "had guys" since Sept. 11. Creepy
gn g to be a certain level ofaggressie, kugh-guy rhetoni rigioums implications aside, it is just immature and insultiMg
that infects the speech and actians of both politicians and acCto refer to peple as. if' they were chaeaters in a Clint
the p~biic. and the enemy will always be demonized. but' Eatw movie in which the hero cleans up the bad town.
Bush and his administration have taken on a far more flip The president also seems to see this war in the moral<
pant and frankly, alarming atttude Its one thing for the ealm ofaWestern. with good guys and bad guys who might
media to treat war like a game or a sport; its quite another as well be clad in white and black hats for easy identifica-
for the government to do the same... tion The laguage of"good" and "bad" used by the adnun-
This was demonstrated clearly during the prelude to the istratitn shows their lack of ompassion and depth ofunder-
so-.called "shock and awe~'bombingcampaign that wassup- standing of morality, because for the most part, there aren't
posed to bring raq to its knees. The government dangled really good guys and bad guys - its just a bunch of guys.
thei tasty morsel in front of public so long that people start- Except for a couple of hugh-ranking Iraqis.(ie. Saddamn
ed to crave it. (People may not have known what it imt and his cronies), most of the people fighting against us are
buv they k.new damn well it would have a lot of cool explo- just regular kids who are probabty not that different from
sions and flashing lights... . s the average l9-yeair-o>d American soldiers. (And please
When members of the press kept askimg if it had dfnstart with the "ehte Republican Guard' talk, I've had
begun, sources at the Pentagon finally said, "If you have just about enough.)
to ask, itfs not "shack and awe."' Maybe I'm old-fash~. 3ut I understand that for a soldier to be able to do Is job
ioned. but shouldn't they have been just a ba more and not have a cornplete emotional breakdown, a certain
sokemn about the prospect of reducing a city to rubble? amount of dehumanization of the e'uny is neeessary
Even though this particular example was not from Bush However, for~ the presidenotto be dulging in this same
himself, it is just one of many examples of how everyone in>..a...c iswon n just childish.
thegovernnmenitand the media) eat Bush's shit with a smile, P11 admit, when FOX News ("Your 24-.hour source of
adapting to his style and treating him like the popular kid in Amria fl grpi#)pael hwdta seven-second
high school who everyone is afraid to defy. clip of the scary Fedayeen guys marchn insrc frai it
Bush's overly casual attitude popped up recently dunng a spooked me. And sue anoewthtewrd"arfice in his
speech in Florida. While addressing troops at Maclill Air..job titteis probably not friendly. ButPm surethe Marines look
Force Base, Bush expressed his regret tha Gen Tomy pretty daunting when they'te wearing body armor and operat-
Franks was unable to attend the speech, saying with a smirk, ing weapons that could blow the ass out of kraq.
a wink-wink and a nudge-nudge, he "'couldn't be with us.FOr his einh'e presidency, Bush has acted like the popular
today on the account of some pressing business" (Everyone class president, cr.ckin wise.~ antying io act cool in front
gut a good laugh out of that little zinger) Quite a long way 'of the public. At any othe~r time, this wtukd merely be
from FDR's serious and dignified speeches to the nation annoying, utwhen we're at war, this immature conduct
during World War U ' becomes reckless. Grow up, Mrt President,
Bush's shallowness when it comes to discussion of sen.- - Andy Taylor4'aIe cam be readhed at andy4kyty@umich eds

Courtesy of Dreamworks
Paper, scissors, terrible movie.
Gross in millions of dollars
1. Head of State (13.5) -
One of our cinematic command-
ments: Thou shalt not see any
movie with a Nelly song fea-
tured prominently in the pre-
2. Bring ingDown the
House (12.4)-- On Queen
Latifah's head. Dorothy style.
3. Core, The (12.0) -
Does it seem like they're scrap-
ing the bottom in terms of
monuments to destroy? The
Golden Gate Bridge ... who
gives a crap?
4. Basic (11.5) - Basically,
this movie sucks ass.
5. Chicago (7.2) - If only
people wou d spontaneously
break into song in real life.
Man, that would be sweet. Wait
a minute. Actually that would
be hell on Earth.
6. Dreamcatcher (6.6) -
Too bad dreamcatchers can't
catch terrible movies.
7. Agent Cody Banks (6.4)
- Man, we can't decide what is
better: this or "Boat Trip."
8. Piglet's Big Movie (4.9)
- You th inkthat lust because it's
a children's movie we won't make
fun of it? Yeah, you're rigWht.
9. Hunted, The (3.b)-We
know. He didn't use a hatchet; he
used a knife.
10. View from the Top
(3.5) - If we had a nickel for
every movie that Mike Myers
uses the "weird eye" gag in ...
"It hurt so much I
was Michael
- Dave Letterman said on
the "Late Show" Tuesday on
the pain from his shingles. At
least he wasn't Michael
In "The Hours," lefty Nicole Kidman
learned to write right handed to more
accurately portray the right handed
Virginia Woolf.
Source: Internet Movie Database

By Mary Deyoe
For the Daily

it's August and move-in day, and you've just
set up everything that you own into one half
of a tiny room. Mom hugged you goodbye for
the hundredth time and dad slipped some extra
cash into your pocket and you stood curbside in
front of your new home as your parents pulled
away in the empty car that only a few hours ago
barely had enough room for the steering wheel.
As the family car that was your ride to school
each morning disappeared around the corner,
you were left standing alone with your yellow
M-card and that first smack of reality hit. It was-
n't subtle and it wasn't nice. All that was running
through your head was "What in the hell am I
supposed to do now?"
One year later, freshmen can see that their
first year most likely entailed a lot of confusion
and separation adjustments. But don't sweat it;
everyone has been there. Maybe everyone wasn't
hit with that reality check in the same way
(maybe your dad only gave you a pat on the
back), but more or less it was there.
If you were among the lucky ones, you already
knew at least one person. Maybe they came from
your hometown, or you had bonded during orien-
tation or they are your cousin's boyfriend's ex-
babysitter's son from his first marriage.
Who knows how you knew them, but this per-
son, at least for the first few moments, was your

best friend. Well, that was of course until you
found your self en route to this kid's friend's frat
house for a party in a group of 40 of your new
best friends.
But, in their defense, a group this large is usu-
ally necessary for a bunch of people whose only
definite directional point of reference is "the
Rock." Granted, for freshman who are new to the
area, or people who just lack all sense of direc-
tion, the rock seems to be the greatest compass.
So, you passed the rock, made it to the frat
that's name is delta something, or possibly
sigma, or was it beta? You probably weren't sure,
because after one day at college you had yet to
have mastered the Greek alphabet.
Looking back, the parties were just one big
blur of faces and names that you'll never really
remember, except for when months later you
walked down State Street and found yourself
doing a double take of some random girl and
thought to yourself, "Hey, I think I partied with
her during Welcome Week."
When the nights were over, it was back to the
dorm. This process was probably not one that
you are faced alone. The situation may have been
good or it may have been bad, but nothing in the
years of home life, that you had left behind, pre-
pared you for ..: the college roommate.
Maybe he snored, smelled or hoarded food
from the dining hall under his bed, but either
way he were yours until the end of the year.
"I think that you should be able to switch

(roommates) at the semester," suggested LSA
freshman Alisa Seewald. Although she admits
that she got lucky in the whole roommate selec-
tion process and, despite a rough beginning, they
get along really well now. "We didn't talk for the
first three weeks, I just didn't like her, but now I
can't even remember why."
"The beginning was just hard" agreed Seewald
and roommate Jenny Gastwirth, an LSA fresh-
man. Their friend Sarah Kramer added ".I think I
went a straight month with no friends."
But this quest for friendship is often the lead-
ing factor in why most girls said that they decid-
ed to go through that annual week of "parties"
called rush. However, according to LSA fresh-
man Rebecca Tobin, while "Rush.(in the end) is
effective, it is not enjoyable."
"It was overwhelming" said Gastwirth, who
then agreed that in the end, the process does
seem to work. Plus, knowing once you were in a
house and had. a place to the live next year, it
relieved a lot of stress.
At this point in the year, most freshmen are
still unsure of some of their friend's last names,
let alone whether or not they are sane enough to
share an apartment with them for a year.
LSA freshman Josh Beckett admitted to his
friend Bryan Cooley, an LSA freshman, that he
did not know what his last name was until just
last month, and they have known each other all
year. The consensus among most was that the


"Exposure: Portrait Of A Corporate Crime"
Photographs Of Bhopal By Raghu Rai


Sharon Osbourne hosted the
Queen's Ball last year for VHI and
her celebrity profile has increased
since "The Osbournes" first aired.
It is good to be married to the devil.
In the spirit of "Survivor," FOX
seems discontented with allowing
all of its contestants to finish a sea-
son on any game show. Reuters
reports that one singer was disqual-
ified last month for posing topless
on an Internet pornography site.
As if having one contestant kicked
off the show wasn't enough, the pro-
ducer's of FOX's "American Idol"
have decided to remove another con-
testant, this time a finalist.
Corey Clark has been kicked off
the show after it was discovered
that he was facing charges of mis-

demeanor battery against his sister,
as well as resisting arrest.
It is a good thing Fox expelled
these contestants. They were clear-
ly not "American Idol" material.
Seriously, when was the last time
we saw a pop start arrested for bat-
tery or showing too much skin?
To compound matters, Fox
would have found this information
earlier if Clark's name had not been
misspelled on the police report.
TRAIN' - Singer/songwriter Cat
Stevens, who changed his name to
Yusuf Islam when he converted to
Islam, re-recorded his 1971 hit
"Peace Train." The track is one of
many to appear on a new album
called "Hope" to benefit the chil-
dren of war-torn Iraq.

The White Stripes may soon learn the
penalty for unorginality. Not only will
your fans hate you, but it could hit you
where it hurts most ... the pocket book.
Warner Bros., which owns the rights to
the Orsen Wells classic "Citizen Kane,"
told Rolling Stone that it was reviewing
the Stripes' album "White Blood Cells"
because it uses much of the material
from the movie.




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