Frday January 10, 2003 michigandaity.comlarts mae@michigandaily.com ARTS 5 THE BEST AND WORST OF FALL 2002 TV Television's bottom of the barrel Courtesy of FOX and Comedy Central Hello, Jack Bauer speaking. What? Bomb? Wrong number. Top shows of the season. 'Alas,' '24' lead the pack The overwhelming majority of TV is bad. Here is some commentary on what went wrong this year: Biggest nosedive from last sea- son to current season: "Will & Grace" Just when you thought NBC's comedy dream team was becoming a well-oiled machine, Leo (Harry Con- nick Jr.) had to join the cast. Grace's (Debra Messing) marriage to Con- nick's dull, bumbling doctor has turned the show's usually hilarious, clever writing into a series of awkward love triangle moments. Will (Eric McCor- mack) is left with little to do but sulk around his now Grace-less apartment. While still a ratings giant, the show is hanging on the talents of Jack (Sean Hayes) and Karen (Megan Mullally), arguably the strongest supporting play- ers on a network comedy series. Best reason to watch "Friends": "Survivor: Thailand" The latest installment of "Survivor" is evidence that Mark Burnett's ratings-winning formula is wearing thin. Never before has the eventual winner, in this case Brian, been this obvious from the start. You just knew that Chuay Guan was going to triumph over the younger, hipper Sook Jai. Despite Burnett's promises of dramatic twists, we are instead fed with recycled garbage from previous seasons (how many times can they do an obstacle course?). With any luck, "Survivor" will not outwit, out- last and outplay after the Amazon, where it is headed next. Once unique in its unusually advanced vocabulary and controversial topics for a teenage drama, the WB's "Dawson's Creek" has recently become just another trashy prime time soap opera. Following in the tradition of "Beverly Hills 90210," the newer show's storyline has plummeted since the gang made their move from high school to college (conveniently every- one ended up in Boston) last fall. After a freshman year where Dawson's dad died in a car crash - leading Dawson to finally lose his virginity to Jen - Jack joined a frat, Joey got involved with her teacher and Pacey managed to become a wonderful chef, it seemed the show could not get any worse or more far fetched. This season opened with Dawson and Joey finally consummating their longwinded romance of "I love you, I love you not," only to have them break it off with harsh words at the end of the two-hour season opener. Fans were most certainly angered by the brutal annihilation of these "soulmates." Meanwhile, Joey's roommate, Audrey, now suffers from rich girl alcoholic syndrome while Pacey easily makes his way to the top of a successful com- pany without a college degree (is there anything this guy can't do?) Jack is rarely given main character status while Jen's mullet-like hair is enough to keep even devout fans from watch- ing. This season's only saving grace comes by way of Oliver Hudson as Joey's new love interest, Eddie. How- ever, it will take much more than a cute face to save this dying drama. What is wrong with FOX? It has the best show on network TV right now ("24"), arguably the greatest show of the last 15 years ("The Simp- sons") and not much else - although a case could be made for "King of the Hill," "Andy Richter Controls the Uni- verse" or "Boston Public." So why cancel Joss Whedon's "Fire- fly," it's best hope for the future? What's wrong with you, FOX? FOX has currently maintained one show from Fall 2002 of any note: "Fastlane." A show about guns and cars from the director of "Charlie's Angels." Wow. Meanwhile, a creative show like "Firefly," a science-fiction story accessible to all TV viewers, was placed on Fridays, destined to die of poor ratings. The Onion recently had an article in which a network executive claimed he was looking for "edgy" shows - those that would challenge and shake up viewers. Instead, he approved a show that was "Friends," but in Los Angeles. That is exactly what FOX has done, with even less success. One of its top new shows is "Joe Million- aire," a send-up of "The Bachelor" - also to be seen in "The Bachelorette" and the recently concluded second season of "The Bachelor" - in which a number of women compete for the heart (money) of a man who, as it turns out, is not a millionaire at all. The audience is in on the "Candid Camera"-style joke. Ha ha. In a January episode of "Fastlane," the show will feature a storyline involving a cop (Tiffany Amber- Thiessen, "Saved by the Bell") seduc- ing a lesbian criminal (Jaime Pressly, "Tomcats") in a hot tub. What is worse, a network which dis- cretely tries to promote itself as legiti- mate while pushing the envelope with "World's Deadliest Animals" or a net- work which triumphantly promotes its illegitimacy (as the promos for "Mil- lioniare" show, only FOX could do something like this). In the past few years, FOX has been guilty of both kinds of bastardization. Look it where it has taken them. - Compiled by the Daily TV staff By Adam Rottenberg Daily Arts Writer Despite the vast wasteland on TV, we've managed to identify 10 shows that deserve acclaim. None of them involve a "bachelor." 10. "South Park," Comedy Cen- tral. Those foul-mouth fourth-graders continue to create havoc in the quiet mountain town of South Park every week. The crudely animated cartoon holds no reservations in its attacks on current events and popular culture with targets like "Harry Potter" and the pos- sible war in Iraq. While not quite as shocking as it was initially, it still gen- erates enough surprises to warrant a Aouble take R 9. "Friends," NBC. The renaissance experienced by "Friends" is astounding and it is an integral part of NBC's "Must See TV" Now in its penultimate season, the characters have grown up and Ross and Rachel's relationship has been put in a tailspin with the addition of baby Emma. While not revolutionary or dras- tically different, it still provides some of the most consistent humor on television. 8. "Scrubs," NBC. The sophomore comedy surpasses its sitcom competi- tion in terms of laughter and interesting characters. Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley) has taken his place as one of the most humorous and original characters on TV with his sarcastic wit and long, funny tirades. "Scrubs" is the real reason to watch "Must see TV" 7. "Late Night with Conan O'Bri- an," NBC. Speaking of Conan, his own late night show rose above the competi- tion, stealing the title of king of late night comedy. Though he is without his sidekick (see number 6), the former comedy writer elicits laughter with his irreverent humor and bits. Besides, Tri- umph the Insult Comic Dog is the funni- est character created for late night ... for me to poop on. 6. "Andy Richter Controls the Uni- verse," FOX. Highly underrated, "Andy" offers a unique type of comedy every week. Through.countless sight-i gags caused by Andy Richter's inner monologue, the show differs from the numerous other redundant office come- dies. The former Conan O'Brian side- kick's show is lacking a stable audience and sadly, seems to be heading for can- cellation. 5. "The Sopranos," HBO. The fourth season of David Chase's critically acclaimed drama received many gripes from critics and fans, but it still remains one of TV's best. The show redeemed itself with an outstanding final episode that, with Edie Falco's (Carmella) per- formance during Tony and Carmela's breakup, showed why she will be walk- ing away with all the awards this season. 4. "The Simpsons," FOX. While not in its prime anymore, "The Simp- sons" still stands as one of the funniest shows on TV. Each year more and more A-list stars volunteer to guest star, and the writers continually find new material to satire, making the longest running prime-time cartoon one of the most entertaining shows overall. 3. "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO. Larry David's post-"Seinfeld" sitcom hit its stride in its third season, claiming the position of the funniest show on TV. Predictable? Yes, but that's part of the charm. 1- 2 i24," FOX. Amazing ooncept- that enables an intense thrill ride every week. The annoying and stupid trials and tribulations of Kim iBauer (Elisha Cuthbert) manage to keep "24" from the top slot. Kiefer Suther- land's Jack, and Dennis Haysbert's President Palmer are the two best characters on television. 1. "Alias," ABC. No other drama on television manages to capture the excitement and drama of "Alias." This season has provided even more twists and turns with the outstanding perform- ance of Lena Olin as Irena Derevko, Sydney's (Jennifer Garner) mother. Courtesy of CBS Brian, the (yawn) winner of 'Survivor.' CHANGE THINGS. find out how: INFORMATION SESSION M o n d ayv. J a n u a r V1 3 .7:30Dp.m. . . . . .J ... .. . J - p . . r . .. - -