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8B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - Thursday, January 9, 2003
1 1IJOSEPH LITMAN - DPOPPINGKNOWLEDGE
The Michigan Daily - WeekeldMagZii
PASS-ING THROUGH MY NIGHTS
talked to my friend KT the
other night, and she could bare-
ly contain herself. Shrieking,
yelling, yipping, squeaking - she
was out of control.
Her favorite television show,
"Friends," was airing in a few min-
utes, and she was on an anticipa-
tion-fueled ebullience bender.
Were she frothing at the mouth
while speaking, I would not have
been surprised.
After taunting her for feeling so
good about such a bland show - I
guessed that Ross would be making
dorky archaeology jokes that week,
like the previous week, and the
week before and the ten years before
that - I hung up and went about my
usual Thursday night business.
The next Monday, I spoke to KT
again and got my weekly, three-
minute "Friends" recap, crucial
information for a gentleman friend-
ly with so many girls and sell-out
guys. (Quickly about this second
group: they don't watch "Oz" or
"The Wire" yet find time for
"Friends?")
Satisfactorily informed - Ross
and Rachel miscommunicated,
Chandler and Monica did married-
person things, Joey and Phoebe
were left the writers' scraps - the
conversation turned to me and my
activities for that night.
I told KT that I was doing what I
FAKE IDS
Continued from Page 1A
card should know that they also face
punishment if caught by the police.
Many people may already know this,
but the punishment may be unclear.
"People with fake IDs are usually
just kids trying to get liquor," Sgt.
Curtis said. "Having a false ID is
different than identity theft. It's
completely different than trying to
be a someone else and trying to
wreak havoc on their banking and
credit card accounts, but it still war-
rants a punishment."
"There are different ordinances
for different cities. As far as Ann
Arbor is concerned, there is a 30-
day misdemeanor, which means that
someone could go to jail for 30
days, and a fine of $100." Sgt.
Curtis warns that if this fine may
not seem like a lot, someone who
gets caught should expect to pay
do almost every night this, my sen-
ior year: Watching the greatest
proof yet that God exists.
However, it wasn't the "700 Club"
that had garnered my attention.
Resplendent in my white headband,
white Boston Celtics shirt, old-
school Dallas Mavericks road shorts
(the true-royal-blue ones which fea-
ture the cowboy hat over the "M"
and kelly green trim), Kevin-
Garnett-style wide rubber band, and
spark white/royal blue Jordan
Trunners, I tried to coolly say,
"Watching NBA League Pass."
However, I was so excited about
the prospect of choosing which of
the ten available games I'd watch
that I couldn't stop myself. "Aw
yeeeeah; NBA's in the fuckin' build-
ing! HOLLA!" Oh the catharsis.
When the din had subsided, KT
put the phone back to her ear and
ended our conversation with a dis-
missive, Seinfeld-like, "Well, I'll
let you have fun with all that." And
I did.
I have fun with NBA League
Pass every night, because unlike
those who love watching "New
York" thirty-somethings, my
favorite show is on all the time
from November through June.
Does it get boring? No.
Watching the world's most amaz-
ing athletes glide through the air
while wearing coordinated head-
much more for a lawyer, court fees
and other associated costs. Also,
misdemeanors will stay on one's
record, which could make it excep-
tionally unfavorable to a graduate
school admissions officer.
Win, Lose or Draw
When it comes down to plans for
the weekend, many relentless stu-
dents may still opt to take their fake
ID and press their luck at the bar.
The common reasoning is that there
is not much to do in Ann Arbor.
Jenna Golden, an LSA sophomore
bemoaned the University's lacklus-
ter social scene.
"There's nothing to do here, espe-
cially since the frat scene has died,"
she said with a cringe. "I told my
friends that go to Maryland that if I
didn't have my fake ID, I would not
have a social life here. I wouldn't
know what to do."
bands, arm bands and rubber bands
- all the while thinking about
things like their Ferraris, one day
being able to drink legally and per-
haps passing to an open teammate
- never gets boring.
For those who don't know, NBA
League Pass is a cable service to
which viewers can subscribe, and
for $160, the basketball-obsessed
crowd can watch almost every regu-
lar season game played in the asso-
ciation.
Since high school, when I heard
about the free time that college stu-
dents enjoyed, I had been dreaming
of the day when I would order the
league pass.
Unfortunately, I hadn't the fore-
sight to realize that in college, my
homework would require much
time and my profligacy (I collect
sneakers) would require much
money.
However, this year my workload
had subsided and my consumerism
had been restrained, so I pulled the
trigger on my life's greatest pur-
chase.
For a person whose father walks
around the house muttering that
Shaq should be illegal, whose sister
claims that Todd MacCulloch is "the
real TMac" and whose mother
knows that Lucious Harris doesn't
punk in the clutch, it seemed as
though the stars were in alignment.
So, what do I do with my league
pass? The simple answer is that I
watch basketball, but there is a lot
entailed in the process.
First, I need to figure out which
games are being played on a given
night. My favorite teams to watch
are:
The New York Knicks - my
hometown team, and one which
seems to have circled my birth date
and said, "We're not winning a title
while this sucker's alive."
The Golden State Warriors -
Jason Richardson and Gilbert
Arenas have brought new excite-
ment to the top-of-the-key handoff.
The Cleveland Cavaliers - an
interesting science experiment that
brings up the question, "If a team
merely tries to dunk on every. pos-
session, can their activities still be
called 'basketball?"'
The Dallas Mavericks - noth-
ing is better than yelling "The
Diggler" every time offensive jug-
gernaut Dirk Nowitzki touches the
ball.
Second, after prioritizing the
games, I turn my attention to what I
will be wearing to watch them.
Based upon silly coincidences -
the Kings were 7-0 last year when I
watched their games while wearing
their shorts - and a desire to main-
tain a certain hip-hop-inspired fash-
ion sense, I throw together an
ensemble that will simultaneously
encourage good play and make me
appear as though I were straight out
of the pages of "Slam" magazine.
The throngs of sneakers, shorts
and headgear that I own enable myr-
iad combinations. Ooh, the black
wave cap and read headband work
well with the Trailblazer shorts.
Finally, having consulted the
channel listings and my mirrors suf-
ficiently, I sit down and go crazy.
The state in which I found KT that
Thursday night? That's me five min-
utes after having clicked on channel
754.
A couch cushion is destroyed, the
coffee table is slammed and the
tranquility is pierced.
Typically, one of my roommates
will be roused out of his room to
ascertain the source of the commo-
tion. "Oh, Michael is wearing the
Jordan IX's in teal. Get a life, Joey."
Then it's back to some work so that
he gets it done before Thursday
night.
Me, I typically have no such con-
siderations - deadlines permitting
- because Mondays are like all my
other nights spent immersed in the
L. And the association is more
exciting than any long-time friends
having Freddie Prinze baby sit
their kid.
- Joseph Litman can be reached at
litmanj@umich.edu.
It's time to
keep that
New Year's
resolution
By Charles Paradis
Daily Arts Writer
While counting down to the new year, many
people took the opportunity at the end of the last
month to make a change in their lives. This
annual tradition saw millions of Americans mak-
ing adjustments for the next 12 months or more
of, but all too often people give up these resolu-
tions without ever realizing their goals.
January is a month whose very name indicates
reflection and planning. Named after the two-
faced Roman god Janus, who is associated with
all beginnings, the month looks back at the past
year and forward to the year to come.
Not surprisingly, many Americans take the
opportunity to make a resolution on Jan. 1,
something they want to improve on in the
upcoming year.
According to a series of studies conducted by
G. Alan Marlatt, director of the Addictive Behav-
iors Research Center at the University of Wash-
ington, two out of every five Americans make
resolutions every year.
Those who do not do so for two reasons. First
many think the practice is absurd or antiquated
and second because many do not want to set
themselves up for something they do not think
they will see to fruition.
Marlatt said that the most common resolutions
people make concern personal health, especially
weight loss.
The work-out bug has even caught those here
at Michigan. LSA
senior Janet Kan-
I
JASON COOPER/Daily
On New Year's Eve millions of Americans resolved to lose weight. Now they have to keep that resolution.
'I
make a lifestyle adjustment. It is not easy, so a
lot of people don't tell others, so if they fail it
doesn't matter."
If you want to quit smoking then it is best to
tell your friends, so they will be able to help you.
Friends can help you avoid situations where you
might succumb to the craving for a cigarette or
even, because they have no knowledge of your
resolution, offer you a cigarette themselves.
LSA senior Joong-Hwan Bahng is one of those
trying to quite smoking. He says so far he has
been succesful in his quest to kick the smoking
habit.
As many people who have made resolutions
know, just because you made them doesn't mean
I
Fake IDs at the '
what will
you're going to suc-
ceed.
happen if you get, caught
By Layla J. Merritt
For the Daily
Fake IDs are not hard to acquire.
If you are fortunate enough to have an older sib-
ling, the process is simple. You can either use their
ID, or visit the DMV and claim that you lost your
license.
There are other illegal ways to obtain a fake ID.
Searching the Internet will produce a lot of results.
Online fake IDs, fraudulent high school and college
diplomas, trade certificates and even letters of rec-
ommendation can all be purchased for a relatively
small fee.
Common sites for purchasing fake IDs are
fakeid.us.com, killerids.com and blueprinted.com.
The use of fake identification cards is common
around campus. Many students use them and a few
make them.
"Students at the University have been caught pro-
ducing fake IDs out of their residence halls in the
past," said Diane Brown of the Department of Public
Safety.
"Whether for you or for others, producing fake IDs
is a serious offence in the state of Michigan punish-
able by up to 14 years in prison," said DPS Sgt.
Melissa Overton.
Although many people may not have to go to jail
for using a fake, the consequences can compound
when they are charged by city and University offi-
cials.
In Ann Arbor, producing and/or selling fake IDs is
a felony, and simply using one is a misdemeanor
punishable by jailtime and a fine.
If the University discovers you have been used a
fake ID, it may also take decisive action against you.
"We don't have prescribed sanctions. We use a
range of sanctions for every case and use the facts to
implement sanctions," said Keith Elkin, director of
the Office of Student Conflict and Resolution, which
handles University policies on issues like fake IDs.
Elkin said that, for a first time offense, if a student
accepts responsibility for their actions they will be
placed on a lengthy disciplinary probation and will
be additionally required to write what he calls a
"reflection paper."
"The student is typically given a topic that's close-
ly related to the offense. For us, it's a way for the stu-
dent to think about what they did and how they view
their actions," Elkin said.
An offense like using or producing a fake ID could
result in suspension, but it is not automatic and it
depends on the individual case, Elkin added.
If the student denies the allegations they have a
choice of being judged before a panel of trained stu-
dents or a resolution office. The dean who may
reject, accept, or modify the judgment will then
review that decision. However, the student may
appeal the decision, at which time the judgment will
be reviewed by the vice president of student affairs.
The student's sentence ultimately rests with the vice
president.
drevas has joined theU ,
millions of people //eWWf u
who will try to get inW
shape this winter. Her pople
resolutions is, "to -
work out everyday." y
There are two main the first time
categories of resolu-
tions and one is more the second
successful than the
other.
"Generally people Director of the Addictive Be
make one of two
kinds of resolutions
where they are trying
to stop a habit or start something new," Marlatt
said.
"We found that people who are making resolu-
tions to stop doing something do not succeed as
well as those who resolve to start doing some-
thing."
Once people have made their resolutions, they
can choose to either tell them to others, or keep
the resolutions to themselves.
While neither method is objectively right, the
choice to keep resolutions secret or not can
affect the success of a resolution, just as the type
of resolution can.
People who keep their resolutions to them-
selves have a harder time keeping them, because
there is little social support, said Marlatt.
"We found that people who make secret reso-
lutions, in a sense they are concerned that if they
don't tell anyone about it they won't know," Mar-
latt said. "But on the other hand if you do tell
people that can be helpful. You can get social
support, which can be very helpful in trying to
ida lot 4
o Wei
maybe fn4
but mayl
1time
- G. Alan Marl
haviors Reaserch Cen
University Washingt
Marlatt tracked peo-
ple who made resolu-
tions to lose weight
re and those who sought
* to lose weight outside
of New Year's resolu-
tions.
Three months later,
Y' those who had made
resolutions to lose
att weight had gained, on
ter average, half a pound,
on while those who used
other means to lose
weight had lost an
slip here, what happened?' They look at it in a
more practical way, 'I made a mistake. What do I
need to do to fix it?"' Marlatt said
Another key to having a successful resolution
is to plan ahead and to try to figure out what
challenges could come up.
"You have to be prepared and figure out what
kind of things can throw you off course ahead of
time," Marlatt said. "After you make the resolu-
tion, keep track of how you are doing. Keep a
journal and monitor your success. Pay attention
to things that come up."
Negative moods and social pressure can be
disastrous to those trying to follow through on a
resolution, so those should receive special atten-
tion when planning a lifestyle change.
Anyone who has been in a bad mood knows
that people often cope with negative moods by
eating, drinking or smoking anyway - and if
those violate your new year's resolution, then it
is doubly important to be on the watch for bad
moods.
Another effective strategy can be to re-evalu-
ate a resolution on a significant date, such as a
birthday or three months later and see how well
it is going. This can give a person the opportuni-
ty for a fresh start.
"We've found a lot of people who were suc-
cessful, maybe not the first time but maybe the
second time," Marlatt said.
But for those who did not stop amid the pleas-
antries of New Year's Eve to make a resolution
this year, there is still hope. The strategies for
having a successful New Year's resolution can be
applied to any life change at any point in time.
"I think that if something is important enough
to change, you shouldn't have to wait until a cer-
tain fixed date to make the change," University
alum Stephanie Gray said.
i
average of half a pound.
While weight loss may not be a successful res-
olution, Marlatt's studies found that those who
decided to quit smoking had a high success rate.
In his study, Marlatt found that after two years
about one fifth of people who chose to give up
smoking, were successful. These are surprisingly
good results for any program for people who
wish to cut back on smoking.
One key to success is in the phrasing of the
resolution.
Those people who say that they will stop
doing something immediately on Jan. 1 and not
do it again are setting themselves up for a hard
task, because many people will slip up and that
is an inevitable fact. Resolutions phrased as ulti-
matums leave little room for adjustment after the
first slip up or lapse, Marlatt said.
Those who give up after the first lapse often
feel like they have failed. There is a better way
to deal with lapses though.
"People who are more successful say, 'I had a
I
I