8B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Nagzine - Thursday, February 20, 2003
ARI PAUL - 1 FOUGHT THE LAW
The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine -
'Old School' powered by trio of stars
Be all that we'll let you be
By Luke Smith
Daily Arts Writer
e're in a budget crisis all right, and the
affects are hard to bear. The Pentagon is
t rying to cut corners anywhere it can with
its meager hundred-billion (or trillion, I can't
remember) dollar budget. Due to the setbacks, the
military can only afford advertising space for
recruiting commercials late at night and only on
very obscure channels. Being the night owl that I
am, I saw the latest one, which apparently everyone
else has missed. Though it's hard to find, it is the
most truthful commercial you will ever see on tele-
vision. To spare you from having to drink coffee at
three in the morning to catch it on the Animal
Channel, I'll just rely it in the space below:
Camera shot of children filing through a dilapi-
dated, inner-city school building.
Voiceover of infantryman: Because I grew up
poor, and the government doesn't fund education, I
never had a chance to learn job skills.
Voiceover of Recruiter: But now, the United
States will fund that training for the underprivileged,
for the small price of risking your life and waiving
certain constitutional rights.
Camera shot of Infantryman marching into Iraq._.
Infantryman: This war is going to give me
everything I need to succeed in the world of
white, upper-class privilege.
Recruiter: In the War on Iraq, recruits will learn
valuable skills like childcare ...
Camera shot of a mass of parentless and
homeless Iraq children being rounded up by
Infantryman: Thousands of others like me who
have been denied opportunities are getting the
chance our families and we have been hoping for, as
long as we follow Washington's orders, no matter
Recruiter: In today's military you can become
one of the 77,000 who will fill the body bags the
Pentagon ordered this month, or some of the thou-
sands of others that will sustain permanent physical
injury, lose limbs and suffer shell shock.
Infantryman: And though I may die by gun shot,
grenade blast, chemical weapons or the intense heat
of the Iraqi sun, and I'm still not quite sure why
we're going there, at least I'll know that I did some-
thing good for somebody back home.
Camera shot of Dick Cheney shaking hands with
Recruiter: Join the military. Fight the War in
Iraq. Be the only thing we'll let you be.
I do not want to be mistaken. I do not have a
sweeping disrespect for people in the military.
I have friends from high school who decided to
join the military and I have friends in ROTC
and I do not question their intelligence or their
integrity involving their profession. However,
there is a serious problem with military
recruiting, and this war is going to make it so
It used to perplex me why conservatives were so
intent on installing policies that ensure a large frac-
tion of the population live in poverty, denied of any
prospect of upward mobility. What is so wrong with
people getting an equal education? What is so
wrong everyone having the financial freedom to
determine one's own destiny?
Well, it would be a big inconvenience for
the war makers. An affirmative action activist
once pointed out that in most minority Detroit
public schools, "you may not have enough
text books, but you can be assured that your
Junior ROTC uniform will be cleaned and
ironed." If everyone did have access to educa-
tion, then the military would not be as popular
an option for those of enlistment age. Denying
education to a vast sector of the population
while seducing them with decent pay and job
skills is a sure fire way to guarantee that there
will be enough fresh blood to oil the war
machine. That is why the controlling party of
Congress fears as much as a dime going to
public education, while it has no problem
sending billions (or trillions, again my memo-
ry is bad) to the military.
This is why the fight for fair education is so hard,
because fair education robs the government of its
ability to dominate the rest of the world. But let's say
we do win. What if we defeat the voucher system
and under-funded schools get the money they need?
What if we win the affirmative action case? What if
we integrate the education system?
If this victory happens, then the government
will have to do one of two things. One, it will
get used to the idea that it can't go around bul-
lying the rest of the world, acting as the late
comedian and philosopher Bill Hicks put it,
"like Jack Palance in the movie Shane, throw-
ing the pistol at the sheepherder's feet"). Not
likely. So maybe there will be universal con-
scription to maintain a large military. But then
the president and all the other politicians will
be less willing to go to war when its their kids
that go off to die and not those of some lowly
Education reform will stop war.
-Ari Paul can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
LOS ANGELES - The stars of
Dreamworks' "Old School" (Luke
Wilson, Will Farrell and Vince
Vaughn) look hung over as they
face the eager press. And they
should, considering the new movie
they have come to pitch is a college
comedy with a demographic rang-
ing between 18 and 30 years of age
- ideal ages for heavy partying.
The film has Mitch Wilson) going
through a miserable break-up,
Frank's (Farrell) entrapment in a
miserable wedding and Beanie
(Vaughn) looking for something to
distract him from his own marriage.
That distractive something - is a
fraternity. Under Beanie's leadership
the three men endeavor to launch a
fraternity, beginning with "Mitcha-
palooza," a king-sized party devoted
to Mitch's freedom from marriage -
the success of this party is the impe-
tus for the formation of the fraternity.
But the film isn't strictly grounded
in the humor of its predecessors (films
like "Animal House"). In fact, the cast
recognizes director Todd Phillips
desire to insert drama into what is oth-
erwise -- simply a comedy.
"I definitely think that's what this
movie brings (that's) a little different
than what you think you're going to
see," Farrell said. "It's kind of what
attracted the three of us to the mate-
rial in the first place. There was a
little more behind the characters
than just going from one funny
scene to the other."
Luke Wilson breathes the same
life into his reality as he does in the
film. Like his character, Mitch,
Wilson appears fatigued and worn
out. His answers slip and slide out
of his mouth, through the remains
of a drawl acquired while growing
up in Texas. "I liked the fact that
Mitch is just a low-level office
guy," Wilson said. "That just seems
like a tough thing to do, (to) just
work in the middle of a company
for your entire life."
Will Farrell's Frank the Tank is a
reformed, and now repressed, party
animal. His candor is what one
expects coming from a sketch show
like "Saturday Night Live." While
Farrell bares all in "Old School,"
his fellow cast members didn't
seem up for the task of streaking.
Vaughn quipped, "There's not
enough booze in this hotel," when
asked what it would take to get him
Wilson pointed out Farrell's use
of an acting coach "from Kentucky,
Jim Beam" in order to prepare for
With the over-the-top antics includ-
ing aqua-lube wrestling, streaking
and tying cement cinderblocks to
pledges' testicles and subsequently
launching the blocks off a rooftop,
one would expect that the set's atmos-
phere would get sticky-icky-icky. The
stars of "Old School" pointed at quite
"We kept having this phrase like,
'Let's shoot this movie '70s style.
Come on, it's us three, let's have
fun,"' Wilson said. "We got caught up
in how well-behaved we were all the
time. Really we were, and we never
did manage to go '70s style but that
was our mantra throughout the whole
movie. 'Let's get '70s style.' But we
never really did do it."
Which isn't to say that the set was
lifeless, "We had a lot of fun and
were always joking around with each
other," said Vince Vaughn. "We call
ourselves 'The Wolfpack' because we
always turn on each other and make
fun of each other. It was never safe
who was getting picked on because
five minutes later we would turn on
"Will called one of my movies
'Legally Bland,"' chirped Wilson.
Neither actor disclosed which film
Farrell cracked-wise at.
UNIVERSITY of PENNSYLVANIA
Continued from Page 3B
Because skin is the largest organ in the body and the
most openly exposed to sunlight, it is both an extreme-
ly common place for cancers to develop and one of the
hardest to diagnose. Many burns appear in places one
cannot easily see, such as the ears, the back and the
backs of the legs. Even palms and feet are possible sites
for cancers to arise.
Melanoma cancer, which affects how skin-coloring
cells grow and divide, is frequently the most severe
form of the disease. Though it causes only 4 percent of
cancer cases, it results in about 79 percent of skin can-
Fair-skinned individuals are usually at the most risk for
skin cancers, although it is still likely for anyone to get the
disease. Gary McMullen, an information specialist with the
American Cancer Society, explained, "It is especially
important for people in Northern climates going to temper-
ate climates to be careful. Going from a colder climate to
such a warm one can cause a serious burn."
Despite the extensive damage possible from overex-
posure to the sun, there are several methods to reduce
the possibility of cancer. The ACS has adopted the slo-
gan of "Slip, Slop, Slap," meaning slip on a shirt, slop
on the sunscreen and slap on a hat.
While most students don't relish the idea of layers in
warm weather, sunscreens, preferably SPF 30 or above,
sunhats and a little extra clothing can protect the body
from harmful UV rays.
McMullen warned, "There is a direct correlation
between sun exposure and all forms of skin cancer. We
[at the ACS] encourage people to talk to their own doc-
tors as well about what their personal risk factors are."
Spring Break is a great time to get away from the pres-
sures of college life. With some added consideration and
caution, the fiesta will end without any regrets.
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