4A - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, January 9, 2003
OP/ED
alobe iriian Ounitr
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NOTABLE
QUOTABLE
~Most importantly,
everybody remembers
Joe brought life to a
campaign that had
none"
- An unnamed source on rumors that Sen.
Joseph Lieberman is set to declare his
candidacy for the 2004 Democratic
presidential nomination, as reported
yesterday by CNN.
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Going for dolo: Greed and poverty
LUKE SMITH THERE IS NO I IN COLUMN
T hirteen million out garment. It is inspiring how desperate or something (I wouldn't know).
people watched Heidi is to win the affections (perceived mil- That's what America wants to see, isn't it?
Fox's "Joe Million- lions) of Evan, that she just wanted to look her The contrived dramatic irony play out in this, a
aire" Monday night. very best. We can't fault her for that, she prob- fabulously pathetic display of human nature.
That's roughly one ably came onto the show simply to find love. The hilarity largely stems from the exploitation
person for every $4 Pathetic. of greed. One woman, a banker, was thrilled at
"Joe" allegedly has in When Evan unwraps the truth and pops the the prospects of Evan not knowing what to do
his bank account. question it will be the first bit of truth the show with the money (the premise is that Evan
The premise of the has actually seen. The buff lying beefcake said, inherited it) and she, of course, would certainly
show (from the brain trust "I realized I had just started the biggest lie of know how to allocate his funds.
behind "Temptation Island"), herds 20 women my life." A fascinatingly retarded way to begin Oh, the drama.
into the company of a man they believe is a mil- a relationship with a woman he wants to marry. There's also the comedic value in watching
lionaire with a $50 million dollar bank state- A woman he plucked off the market like I desperate women (either financially or emo-
ment. Of course, there is a twist: "Joe" (Evan would choose a fine cut of steak. Thankfully, in tionally, Fox shows them both in similarly ter-
Marriot) isn't a millionaire, he's a construction the meantime the American'public gets to watch rible light) throw themselves at a man under
worker making $19,000 a year. women be willingly herded around a French wonderfully false pretense.
The 20 women are forced to compete for paradise in search of their prince charming. The Or is it? What if Fox has pulled the wool
Evan's heart, disguising any (heaven forbid) proliferation of "prince charming"-speak and over the eyes of the American people? Maybe
gold-digging urges, while trying to woo the fairy-tale (even Gaston was name dropped) Evan Marriot (if that is his real name) is actu-
surly construction worker with the baby soft metaphors perpetuated much of the show's dia- ally a millionaire and Fox has decided to
hands. Along the way, those who survive are logue. Throughout the "Real World" style con- exploit the watchers of the show, like we
awarded pieces of jewelry indicating their fessionals numerous women waxed believe the women are being exploited. This
return for the following week. As the jewelry philosophically about their desire to find love sort of meta-reflection, while highly intelli-
piles up, the party gets smaller. Interesting (and marry into $50 million dollars!). When one gent, (and would undoubtedly be a masterful
enough that while Fox is exploiting the greed woman was dismissed, she talked about how play on the part of Fox) is terribly unlikely.
of these women, they are reinforcing that her life would still have a "happy ending." The Should Evan actually be the $50 million
same greed we as viewers mock by further priceless moment when the prince turns out to dollar man, Fox will have flipped the cattle
bestowing gifts on them. It really is a wonder- be a pauper is just six Mondays from now. parade of female beef on Monday nights into a
ful examination of voracity. Hopefully, the girl he picks won't really brilliant manipulation of television viewers.
When exposed to a roomful of dresses for love him and will just be after his money. That's Though, it is more likely we are watching a
the night's affair, the women's true colors what Fox wants, right? They want to parade pageant where the prize is a construction worker
came out. They were herded like volunteer these women around like cattle to be poked and who makes close to $10 an hour.
cows to a room with 20 ball gowns, one for prodded by a guy whose hands are more com-
each. Heidi, scooped up four dresses trying fortable around a shovel than they are some- Luke Smith can be reached
each on, leaving three girls temporarily with- thing rich people hold on to - glasses of Cristal at lukems@umich.edu.
VIEWPOINT
University is tied to Dow and Bhopal disaster
BY RYAN BODANYI ple of hours' drive away. Undoubtedly dozens Dow; more than 600 University alumni work
of University students hail from the Tri-Cities for the company. Obviously Business School
As it has in the wake of so many humanitar- (Saginaw, Midland and Bay City, and are thus then-Dean B. Joseph White had plenty of cause
ian catastrophes, the University remained silent directly affected by Dow's other grotesque acts: when he remarked that "the Dow Chemical
following the 1984 chemical disaster in Bhopal, its decades-long pollution of the Tittabawassee Company has been one of our most committed
India. This, on its face, supplies no cause for watershed with horrifying levels of dioxin. One corporate partners." Given this close associa-
condemnation. After all, the accident occurred floodplain reading revealed a dioxin concentra- tion, the University has an opportunity and a
thousands of miles away; the offending compa- tion of 7,261 parts per trillion - a level 80 duty to ask Dow why it hasn't committed to
ny, Union Carbide Corp., was headquartered in times the state residential cleanup standard. This correcting the environmental and health effects
faraway Connecticut; the University's connec- contamination, like Bhopal's, has poisoned tens of its own pollution.
faras wayCionCbit;thuivestyastconec of thousands of people; Dow's response, as in It's easy to wonder whether the University,
tions with Union Carbide, though extant, were Bhopal, has been to stonewall and skirt the issue in accepting funding from Dow, is depriving the
slim. Although the accident was certainly tragic, and to try to avoid a proper clean-up. The only people of Bhopal and Midland of the funds that
it didn't appear at the time to be criminal in difference is that this time, it happened in our could be used to safeguard their health and
nature, and it was unclear how a University own backyard. environment. It's equally possible to wonder
stand on the issue might influence the course of The University, as an institution that has whether the University, as an institution of high
events. Even if there had been a cause for studied the public health impacts of chemical reputation, should associate itself with a compa-
denunciation, this surely wasn't the University's exposure, is surely qualified to condemn the ny that has poisoned tens of thousands of peo-
role; if the University took the time to denounce unnecessary exposure of tens of thousands indi- ple, unless that company has at least begun to
everything that it found deserving, it wouldn't viduals to hazardous chemical compounds. clean up its own contamination.
have the time leftover to educate anyone. What's more, it has an obligation to do so, as it A University stand on this issue would
However, in the last 20 years the University has continued to accept funding from Dow even be an easy one to make. In an era in which
"has" taken two important political stands - though the company has refused to fund a former CEOs are sent to prison for tinkering
one against apartheid, the other against tobacco Bhopal cleanup effort or to provide the citizens with ledger numbers, the least the Universi-
companies. On both occasions (in 1983 and of Bhopal with safe drinking water. Dow had ty can do is denounce a company that has
2000) the University chose to divest its associat- directly contributed over $10 million to the Uni- likely poisoned several University students,
ed stock, throwing its weight behind reform versity by September 2000, placing it among thousands of Michigan residents, and that
efforts both at home and abroad. Nor has the the top 26 all-time donors to the University. The has condemned thousands of Bhopalis to
University ever had cause to regret these deci- company has endowed numerous professor- further pain, suffering and death.
sions; indeed, many students cite them as a ships in such fields as sustainable science, busi- Given the University's size, importance,
source of pride. ness, chemical engineering and public pealth; it and reputation, such a stand might pressure
Although the University currently owns no sits on the University's External Advisory Dow into reevaluating its recalcitrance; in
stock in Dow Chemical Co., and therefore can't Board; it sponsored events such as a 2002 Sum- the end any such stand for equality and jus-
divest, it can certainly make its voice known on mer School for Chemical Engineering faculty in tice could only be a source of pride to future
the issue. What's more, it has far more cause to Boulder, Colo. Two buildings on campus bear University students.
do so now than it did at the time of the accident. the Dow name; the University's William
Union Carbide was recently purchased by Dow, Davidson Institute has completed credit risk Bodanvi is an RC senior and co-facilitator
which is headquartered in Midland, only a cou- assessments and developed growth ideas for for Environmental Justice
VIEWPOINT
Lloyd Carr 2004
0
0
le
BY JAMES CLARAHAN
Is Lloyd Carr under pressure for success
next year? Yes. But that ends my agreement
with Joseph Litman in his viewpoint, Conserva-
tive Carr 'officially on the clock' (01/08/03). With
the amount of impact players returning, another
three or four loss season will be unacceptable
and only then will Lloyd Carr's grace period
come to a close. Lloyd Carr won a national
championship here. He isn't on any kind of
clock after sustaining the "Henson Years" and
he further insured Big Ten-style football domi-
nating the bowl games this year.
Drew Henson is the single largest detri-
ment to the Michigan program in recent histo-
lously talented team to a three loss season and
left our program shortly after to ... you
guessed it ... play for the Yankees. As a result,
the following year John Navarre was thrust
into a situation that he wasn't ready for and
relied too heavily on his only proven offensive
weapon, Marquise Walker. This past year we
finally emerged from Henson's lingering
stench as dynamic stars emerged (Chris Perry
and Braylon Edwards) and John Navarre
developed into a dependable leader.
Carr will lead this team to glory next year
using his proven methodology. The Big Ten
was the strongest conference this year. People
underestimate the effects of time of possession
and the wearing-down that the Big Ten style of
the team of brash punks that plays for Miami?
Litman claimed "out with Schembechler
and in with Spurrier; run it up, don't grind it
out; speed beats speed, brawn does not." In the
Outback Bowl, we abandoned the Big Ten phi-
losophy and narrowly won a shootout against
Florida. Perhaps we didn't have the defensive
presence to play conservative football. We
didn't play conservative for most of the year.
We throw more now than we ever have, but the
old adage still holds: defense wins champi-
onships. Ohio State had a solid defense, so they
won a championship. We didn't have a solid
defense, so we didn't win big.
Contrary to Litman, Lloyd Carr does not
"settle for mediocre efforts." Carr is expected to
I
THE BOONDOCKS
AARON
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