10 - The Michigan Daily - Wednesday, April 17, 2002

ARTS


Foo waits, Ozzy
wants some privacy

Super heroes in the
movies: The best
and the very worst

GROHL POSTPONES NEW Foo
FIGHTERS ALBUM - Former Nir-
vana drummer and current Foo
Fighters frontman Dave Grohl has
decided to postpone the recording of
the in-progress follow-up to the
Foo's There's Nothing Left to Lose.
Grohl, who got back behind the
drums for Queens of the Stone Age's
upcoming album, Songs for the
Deaf, is expected to join the group
on tour this summer, Rolling Stone
reports. Grohl will front the Foo
Fighters and play drums for QOTSA
at the end of the month when both
bands play Coachella Valley Music
and Arts Festival.
ANGRY OSBOURNES MAY PRE-
VENT SECOND SEASON ... - Despite
the smash hit it has been for MTV,
"The Osbournes" may not return for
a second season if the cast has any
say. Karen and Jack Osbourne, who
star on the reality show with their
famous father Ozzy and kindly con-
trolling mother Sharon, has
expressed displeasure at having their
lives filmed for another three month,
the New York Post reports. Sharon is
said to be miffed at the tourists that
line the streets outside their Beverly
Hills home. Sharon and Ozzy report-
edly agreed to do another season
only if it could be shot at their
secluded farm-house in England.
... BUT EVERYONE ELSE WOULD
LOVE TAKE THEIR SPOT PLATE -
Osbourne mania is luring other

entertainment professionalsrto to try
their own hands at the variety show
format. TV Guide reports that Cybil
Shepherd is shoping around a mock-
umentary about her own life as an
aging starlet. And word on the street
has it that MTV is also after Sean "P
Diddy" Combs to star in his own
reality series
GOLDBERG SHUNS 'SQUARES' -
Comedian Whoopie Goldberg has
decided not to return to "Holly-
wood Squares" for another season,
the Internet Movie Database
reports. Goldberg, who has been
the show's center square since its
inception four years ago, could not
reach a contractual agreement with
producers King World. Goldberg
made a reported ten million dollars
a season.
IVAN DRAGO TO RETIRE FROM
FILM - Actor Dolph Lundgren
has announced his retirement from
film. The muscle-bound actor, best
known for his roles in 1985s
"Rocky IV" and 1987s "Masters of
the Universe," has announced his
retirement from filmmaking. The
actor stated that he wanted to
spend the next twenty years relax-
ing with his family, reports UK
web magazine Teletext.

Courtesy of MTV
The A No.1iall American father.

Miyazaki's animated masterpiece
"Spirited Away" for US distribu-
tion. Zap2it.com reports that the
2001 film, which is currently the
highest grossing film in Japanese
history, will be released in the
states this upcoming Fall.
DUDE, WE REALLY HOPE YOU'RE
JOKING - Fox is in final negotia-
tions to begin filming "Seriously,
Dude, Where's My Car," in sum-
mer 2003, Variety reports. The film
is a sequel to 2000s "Dude,
Where's My Car," starring Ashton
Kutcher ("That '70s Show") and
Seann Williams Scott ("American
Pie") as a pair of stoners can't
locate their car after an evening-
long blackout. The film was

trashed by critics and fans alike,
yet Fox's only problem seems to be
Kutcher's availibility.
KID ROCK TO WED PAMELA
ANDERSON - The Internet Movie
Database reports Detroit rocker
Kid Rock (real name Bob Ritchie)
will marry ex- "Baywatch" babe
and ex-Tommy Lee spouse Pamela
Anderson. The couple, who have
been dating for about a year,
recently bought a house in the
affluent Detroit suburb of Birming-
ham. Lee has two children, and is
currently involved in a custody bat-
tle with Lee, and Rock has a son
who he raises with the help of his
sister. This is the first marriage for
Rock.

With big screen adaptations of
superheroes becoming all the rage
in movies, the good, the bad and the
ugly have emerged from a brat pack
of blockbusters and busts. When
superhero films are successful they
are incredible, however more often
than not they fall flat on their fat-
budgeted faces. After a disappoint-
ing box office for "Batman and
Robin," the superhero genre fell
silent. It was reawakened in 2000
with Bryan Singer's letterboxed
atypical adaptation of Stan Lee's
"X-Men." The movie led to a gold
rush on superhero films, specifical-
ly expediting production on the Sam
Raimi directed "Spiderman," and
pushing "Daredevil" into a fourth-
quarter 2002 release. To make your
visits to video rental outlets a little
bit easier, we offer our selections
for the five best and five worst
superhero movies of all time.
The Best
5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Tur-
tles - They're the world's most
fiercesome fighting team. In 1990,
New Line Cinema brought
Raphael, Michelangelo, Leonardo
and Donatello to the big screen in
their first live action spectacle.
Banking on the success of the
insanely popular cartoon, New
Line had their first ever block-
buster in "TMNT," and it went on
to earn 10 times its budget, or
approximately $135 million. The
film adaptation of the dark comic

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1. Batman - Tim Burton ended
the vision of Batman as a campy
detective chumming around with
Commissioner Gordon. Batman
was dark, and he got his hands
dirty. But not as dirty as Jack
Nicholson, who found the perfect
role as The Joker. Those who com-
plain his performance was too out-
landish don't understand how evil
has manifested itself in Gotham
City since the 1940s.
The Worst
5. Men in Black - There really
should be a rule about films that
employ a song by one of the actors
in it. It didn't work for the DMX-
Steven Segal alliance, and it cer-
tainly didn't work for big Willie
Smith and Tommy Lee Jones in
"Men in Black." In even better
news, "Men in Black 2" is coming
out this summer, and Will Smith is
doing the whole soundtrack. Sweet.
4. Captain America - Marvel
proved they had a long road to trav-
el with this 1979 TV shlock-fest
starring Reb Brown (?) in a blue
leotard fighting the evil, um, it
doesn't matter. The trick to a good
superhero flick ishatmosphere; the
main character must inhabit a world
in which he can truly exist. But tak-
ing a camera outdoors into the
washed-out '70s sheen and putting
a fairly normal looking dude into a
giant stocking with some white
wings on his head and a big plastic
shield- not heroic.
3. Supergirl - Superman
would beat the shit out of Super-
girl. In a painful adaptation of a
pathetic spin-off character,
"Supergirl" is a comic book movie
at its worst. Christopher Reeves
was originally intended to make a
cameo in the film but backed out
due to time constrictions. Wise
move Mr. Reeves. The entire film
is a waste of money, but nothing
was more ludicrous than the $1
million budget for the opening
credits.
2. Tank Girl - Set on a post-
apocalyptic sound stage, Lori Petty
plays Tank Girl, one of the few
remaining humans in a desperate
fight with the evil Water and Power
company run by Malcolm McDow-
ell. McDowell seems set on prov-
ing "A Clockwork Orange" was a
cinematic fluke for the gifted stage
actor, who staunchly refuses to
make good movies. Oh, and Petty
teams up with Ice T, who plays a
Mutant Kangaroo. Stellar.
1. The Punisher - It's a sad
day when Dolph Lundgren quits
the acting business. But nothing is
sadder than sitting through the
1989 action flick "The Punisher."
Co-starring "Jaws 3" veteran Louis
Gossett Jr., the film is a painful
time killer with trite dialogue such
as, "I punish the guilty," and "The
guilty will be punished." While sat-
isfying in its own way, film purists
will probably prefer the witty dia-
logue of "Rocky IV."
- Compiled by the Daily Arts Edi-
tors, who hope everyone has the
summer that they hope to have.
Keep it secret, keep it safe. Watch
out for snakes.

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book was more than entertainment,
it provided deep philosophical
phrases such as, "Wise man says
forgiveness is divine, but never pay
full price for late pizza."
4. X-Men - Casting a character
as popular and mercurial as Mar-
vel's Wolverine can make or damn a
movie, and with "X-Men," the at-
the-time questionable selection of
nobody Hugh Jackman could've
damned the film. Instead, Jackman
fit into Wolverine's tights perfectly,
rounding out a superb cast which
included Sir Ian McKellan and
"Star Trek" captain, Patrick Stewart.
3. The Crow - Director Alex
Proyas is one of the most talented
filmmakers today, but his promis-
ing career almost ended after the
tragic death of Brandon Lee on the
set of "The Crow." Proyas created a
true comic book environment,
darker and richer than even Bur-
ton's work on the first two "Bat-
man" films. While not a comic
book film, his second feature
length film, "Dark City," continued
with his brilliantly multifaceted
landscapes and ability to create
reality out of pure fantasy.
2. Superman - Richard Don-
ner's masterpiece is possibly the
most beautiful superhero drama of
all time. While the flying scenes
have dated under the wear and tear
of modern F/X, they still have the
ability of instilling child-like awe
in the viewer. Gene Hackman is a
perfectly maniacal Lex Luthor, and
Christopher Reeves is The Man of
Steel. He will always be The Man
of Steel.

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