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April 12, 2002 - Image 12

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The Michigan Daily, 2002-04-12

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12 - The Michigan Daily - Friday, April 12, 2002



Courtesy of


Sumier jobs
l awaiting tables,
internshps, the
GRE and the LSAT all
take a back-seat to
mindless entertain-
ment between May
and August. Candy
seems to be the preva-
lent theme this sum-
mer, both in the realms

of major theatrical releases and Christensen comes of age
dome-f'lling popular music. The sug- in "Star Wars: Episode II."
ary gum bubbles of pop icon's 15 here's a lot to do this
minutes find their way to the stage summer, and we've
while eye candy rules the celluloid decided to help you think
(or digital) jungle. It's important to by looking at some of the
keep your eyes open to find the true summer's best offerings,
gems wedged between ,the studio and contemplating a few
hype. "High Fidelity" scribe Nick events too large to
Hornby's novel "About a Boy" finds ignore.
life on the very same day Hayden -Lyle Henretty



Our second favorite (but annoyingly over exposed)
British spy returns in the formerly known as (and
thanks to Hollywood back-rubbing, soon to be named
again) "Goldmember." The franchise quickly grew from
smart and satirical to gross-out humor with "The Spy
Who Shagged Me" and No. 3 is sure to continue this
downward trend while also ironically bowing to spon-
sors that Wayne and Garth vowed to never do. If you
thought Heather Graham's laugh-deprived performance
was as low as a Powers girl could go wait 'til you get a
load of Beyonce Knowles. Yes, that Beyonce. July 26.
Woody Allen has made a film a year, every year, for
the past 33 years, and major Hollywood actors still wor-
ship his tiny little feet. In "Ending," Allen plays a film
director hired by a studio boss to direct the boss' girl-
friend (and the director's ex wife) in a new film. Tea
Leoni plays the ex, and Treat Williams the studio boss.
Let's hope that this revives Williams' career after he
single-handedly soiled the good name of "The Substi-
tute" franchise. May 3.
Oscar-winning actor Tommy Lee Jones and the guy
that sang "Nightmare on My Street" team up for a sec-
ond outing as J and K, two government agents with the
special task of keeping giant CGI aliens at bay. The
first film was a brainless summer extravaganza pro-
duced for the sole purpose of selling giant plastic cups
at Burger King, so the it's doubtful the sequel will have
any measure of artistic integrity. Though, in the typical
summer fashion, the bugs will be bigger, the one-liners
more plentiful and the exposition slightly less trite. On
the plus side, what other special effects-driven fran-
chise pays homage to Kafka? July 3.
MINORIT1 '12 2 _T
Like "Blade Runner" and "Total Recall," this film is
based on a Phillip; K. Dick story. Tom Cruise plays
Detective John Anderton, a cop in a division that
arrests criminals before they commit crimes. But when
he is accused of a crime, he has to prove his innocence.
Colin Farrell, the best part of "Hart's War," and Max
von Sydow ("The Exorcist," "The Greatest Story Ever
Told") are in the supporting cast. Director Steven Spiel-
berg could redeem himself for last year's pretentious
"AI," or he could drag this story into the ground as
well. June 21.
Mr. American movie star Tom Hanks teams up with
acclaimed "American Beauty" director Sam Mendes for
a Depression-era tale of a Chicago hit man. Hank's hit-
man will less resemble Bruce Willis' "Jackal" and more
closely mirror Jean Reno's "Leon," a killer with a heart
of gold. Mendes' reputation for "spectacular" direction
of actors on stage and in "Beauty" has lured a support-
ing cast of Jude Law, Jennifer Jason Leigh and the
almost retired Paul "Butch" Newman. The buzz is good
so far but we all know that in order to be successful one
must project an image of success at all times. July 12.
It has Sugar Ray's Mark McGrath, and Rowan Atkinson
("Bean"), but what remains to
be.seen is if Fred-

die Prinze Jr. (Fred) and Matthew Lillard (Shaggy) can
do better here than in their last disaster, 2001's "Sum-
mer Catch." Sarah Michelle Gellar could be the perfect
Daphne, but seeing the live-action Scooby in the trail-
ers is just sad. What makes this movie any different
than the on-stage production of "Scooby Doo in: Stage-
fright?" Translating a hit cartoon series into a movie
can be hit or miss. June 14.
This is the newest film from M. Night Shyamalan,
director of the wildly successful "The Sixth Sense" and
less-than-successful but underrated "Unbreakable."
"Signs" deals with those wacky crop circles that appear
every once in a while in fields and frequently on
"Unsolved Mysteries." Despite the fact that many of
these supposed alien graffiti have been de-bunked as a
prank involving two jackasses and a board, the film
deals with the possibility that these circles are some
sort of warning. Mel Gibson and Joaquim Phoenix star.
August 12.
Director Sam Raimi, a big fan of this weekend's Bill
Paxton thriller "Frailty," has already signed on to direct
the sequel. "Spiderman" will have to make money fast,
because it has only two weeks before summer behemoth
"Star Wars" hits theaters. Young heartthrobs Tobey
Maguire and Kirsten Dunst fill the roles of Peter Parker
and Mary Jane, while brilliant char-
acter actor Willem Dafoe dons;
the Green Goblin suit. Between
"Spiderman" and its sequel,'
Raimi plans on finally making
the fourth installment in the
cult "Evil Dead" series. Groovy.
May 3.
Most likely this will be the
highest grossing independent
film of the year. Yes, it's an
independent film, don't
argue. The thought of Yoda
finally busting out his Jedi
prowess and Anakin turning to
the dark side has fanboys
counting down the exact
number of minutes until
the May 16 release
date. The opening box
office weekend should
be larger than most
countries' gross national
product. If Lucas is as smart as
he is rich, "Episode II" will have a
stinger ending, a la "The Empire Strikes
Back," to start the early "Episode III"
anticipation. May 16.

like a poser by waiting till after it inevitable tops every
critic's "best of list" at the end of the year.

For those who just can't get enough of the spritely minx
from Pepsi cans, MTV specials and Trapper Keepers, fear
not. To prevent over-exposure, though, the blond's "limit-
ed" tour only hits 33 locations, including Detroit on June
24th. The pop princess has shown, time and time again,
that she's willing to do just about anything to please the
thirteen-year-old girls and 55 year old men who make up
her fan base. And admit it, there is not one of you cool
enough to get "I'm a Slave 4 U" out of your head once it
starts rattlin' 'round in there.
After 30 years, more than 20 albums and countless per-
sonal reinvention, David Bowie can do what ever he
wants. Right now that's releasing an all-star record featur-
ing guitar work from Pete Townshend and Dave Grohl, as
well as remixes by Moby and French electronica duo, Air.
Due on June 1l1th, Heathen is Bowie's first album in three
years and his first for Columbia Records. Also the innova-
tive rocker has signed on to headline Moby's 2nd annual
Area One festival. Although still in the planning stages,
the tour should start late this summer and will also include
Busta Rhymes. Whohaa!
The angriest blonde guy on the planet follows up his
fiber-platinum The Marshall Mathers LP with a new CD
set to drop June 4. The album, The Eminem Show, is
another collaboration with old school Godfather Dr. Dre.
How will Eminem play in a world where irony has report-
edly collapsed? Will he be able to piss people off now that
he has sang a duet with Elton John? Eminem is at his best
as an intelligent wordsmith, provocative and creative. At
his worst, he makes fun of Christina Aguilera's
private parts. Either way, he's still one of the
10 best hip-hop artists in the country.




The long-awaited
follow-up to The
Soft Bulletin,
the Flaming
Lip's stunning
1999 album is
finally slated
for a June or
July release.
Tentatively titled
Yoshimi vs. The
Pink Robots and
produced by frequent
collaborator Dave Frid-
mann, the record promis-
es to be one of the most
brilliant, imaginative and just
plain weirdest things you have
ever heard. Ignore the Lips
only at your peril. Buy it when
it comes out and avoid looking

Debuts nationally April 17 in California and sweep-
ing through Michigan on June 11 at The Palace of
Auburn Hills, MTV brings together for the first time
the kings of pop-punk Blink-182 and Green Day. Brand
new emo sensations Jimmy Eat World and Saves the
Day are also on tap for divided openers. Both of these
ultra-revered punk trailblazers are prodigies of the
power of MTV, ironically, for making them popular. But
how will the two antagonistic trios fair? A 182-degree
convergence of Blink's juvenile rear-ended humor, with
Green Day's unapologetically grungy sarcasm - it's
the better way to jump-kick your summer.
oNng r Ihe Dea"
QOTSA will release their third album of super heavy
alt-metal early this summer, appropriately titled Songs
For The Deaf and then hopefully proceed to take over
the world. Dave Grohl helps by once again violently
abusing a drum kit on all but one-track. England's New
Music Express quoted the Foo Fighter as saying, "It's
my favorite album that I've ever played drums on. They
let me go off on this album like never before. It rocks
ten times harder than anything they've ever done." Lis-
ten to this man. He knows a thing or two about great
WEEZER Maladroit
Remember when Weezer were tagged slackers? Not
anymore. Despite bizarre clashes with their label Gef-
fen, Weezer will release Maladroit on May 14th, almost
exactly one year after their comeback Green Album.
The first single "Dope Nose" is already plowing up
modern rock playlists, but it might be awhile before the
boys return to Michigan. They take a 13-date survey of
the Western states at the end of this month, briefly
checkout Japan right as Maladroit hits shelves and then
head back into the studio to work on their already-start-
ed fifth record, slated for a February 2003 release.
With Lollapalooza not returning untill summer 2003
and the Chris Cornell-fronted version of Rage Against
The Machine quitting Ozzfest, music fans are looking a
huge rock show to make up the loss. When in doubt, go
with the classics. The amazing double bill of Robert
Plant and the Who will play on Thursday August 23 at
the Palace of Auburn Hills. Watch the ex-Led Zep
frontman and the Who's Roger Daltrey duke it out for
"Greatest Powerhouse Lead-Singer" honors. See
geezers twice your age rock harder than you ever
dreamed possible.
The Skinny: Pushes off June 21 in Boise, Idaho and
culminates Aug. 18 at Comerica Park in Detroit. Skate-
punk veterans NOFX and Bad Religion are among the
60 plus sensations in this annualtraveling punk-pil-
grimage. The tour is multi-staged, known for its mosh-
pits, and plays at gigantic outdoor venues - from Lake
Tahoe ski slopes to Boston race-tracks -,all under the
sweltering, static sweat of summer. It's simply the near-
est comparison to Woodstock, sacred to the young
American heart. It's where men and women
rip off their shirts and body slam to the
tune of skateboards swooshing off
half-pipes and megawatts. of despotic
punk harmonies as accompaniment.
ToM AITS - Alice
The toy-piano playing hobo with
the voice broken glass is releasing
two CDs on May 7. This pair
comes after Waits rejuvenated
his career with 1999's Gram-
my-winning Mule Varia-
tions. These acoustic
albums are said to be
completely different
from anything Waits has
previously been associat-
ed with. He's remained a
truly independent artist
despite several chances



of Sony


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