20B - The Michigan Daily - Weekeid Magazine - Thursday, April 11, 2002
MArT GRANDSTAFF -
OSTAFF AND CAPTAIN E Ooo
- JANE KRULL
WEEKEND EDITORS RANDOMLY
INTERVIEW EACH OTHER
Matt: So Jane, what would you
say is the best part of working for
The Michigan Daily on a section
like Weekend Magazine?
Jane: Well Matt, I would say it is
the great deal on pop - 45 cents for
a Coke is like getting a piggy-back
ride from your Uncle Diapolus.
Matt: No shit, I really liked it
because there were always free
video games waiting for me in the
mailroom. If there was ever a reason
for joining the Daily, it's all the free
stuff you can get.
Jane: If you were invisible, what
would you do?
Matt: I would probably go to the
Diag and hit protesters in the balls. I
think that would be nice. How about
Jane: I would hide out on a space
shuttle and become the first invisi-
ble woman in outerspace.
Matt: Good answer. So do you
prefer boxers or briefs?
Jane: Are you retarded? I'm a
girl! Thongs, of course.
Matt: That's cool. Personally, I
like to go Commando. All that free-
dom in my pants. I'm out there and
loving it. And do you know what I
Jane: What's that?
Matt: The price.
Jane: Would you date a really
ugly woman, and I mean really ugly,
just because she worked at Taco Bell
and could give you free food?
Matt: Did you see our last cover
of Weekend? I love the tacos. I
would do anything for tacos. But the
fact of the matter, Jane, is I cannot
fit both the ugly girl and the tacos in
So tell me, what would you do for
some pintos and cheese?
Jane: Not much. I am trying to
cut back on the Taco Bell - it
makes me, as Bono would say it, a
Matt, Budweiser is the "King of
Beers." If you were named the king
of something,what would that be?
Matt: I must be "King of the
Wicker People." Would you be the
"Queen of the Damned?"
Jane: No, actually I think I would
be the Queen of the Noseflarers.
Matt: Noseflarerers ... well God
bless you then. So I hear your mom
is a nun?
Jane: Actually, she was a nun, but
that is a sensitive subject that I only
discuss with my therapist.
Matt: You go to a therapist! So
who has more serious problems,
you or Tony Soprano?
Jane: Tony, definitely - but I
still think he's grrr-eat.
Speaking of tigers, I know people
can be a tiger in bed, but how about
Matt: Well, I consider myself to
be a tiger with punctuation. Do you
remember our issue with the sick
girl on the cover? I think I did a
great job dealing with all the errors
in that issue.
So now that I have proclaimed
myself a tiger, is there any animal
you would consider yourself to be
Jane: I like dolphins, did you
know that they have names for each
other? What would your dolphin
Matt: Shit, I don't know. If I was
a Native American, my name would
be "Bad Best Picture with Robin
So Jane, what are your plans for
Wednesday nights now that you
don't have to produce the Weekend
Jane: Well, I have always wanted
to spend more time in the Arb. But I
don't want to go there with anyone.
I want to cuddle with the squirrels
and run around in the buff. I could
be Jane of the Arb.
OK Matt, here's a doozy of a
question for you. What do you think
of people that drive PT Cruisers and
wear wooden clogs?
Matt: Well that's an interesting
breed. I am sure they would be OK
so long as they weren't left in charge
of saving page three in the Weekend
Jane, it's time for Final Jeopardy.
If you were stranded on a desert
island with only Weekend Magazine,
would you: A) use it for toilet paper;
B) make it your holy bible; C) have
nasty thoughts about Ben Goldstein;
or D) leave it on the ground like all
the students on campus?
Jane: I wouldhave to go with
none of the above. I would make
papier-mach monkeys out of the
Weekend Magazine, so I could have
some friends. Heck, I should proba-
bly do that now.
Speaking of monkeys, where do
you like to play with your little mon-
Matt: Being an editor at the
Daily, I have spent a lot of time in
front of all the computers here. Now
that this is known, I would like to use
this last bit of space to apologize to
my fellow editors here at the Daily
for the sticky situations I caused.
- This is the end of Matt
Grandstaff and Jane Krull's reign
as Weekend Magazine editors. They
would like to thank their writers,
readers and fellow editors for not
shaking out Weekend. They can be
reached at email@example.com
Apply now at the
" non-Law Students
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Minimum pay is
$8.50 per hour!
Apply at the hiring table outside
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