4 - The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, April 9, 2002 OP/ED Uwe £llirbiguu ? tuiIi 420 MAYNARD STREET ANN ARBOR, MI 48109 letters@michigandaily.com EDITED AND MANAGED BY STUDENTS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SINCE 1890 JON SCHWARTZ Editor in Chief JOHANNA HANINK Editorial Page Editor Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority of the Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily. NOTABLE QUOTABLE (What provokes every free, faithful and brave soul is what is taking place against our oppressed kinfolk in Palestine." - Saddam Hussein in a speech yesterday explaining why Iraq, in support of the Palestinian cause, will withhold oil until Israel pulls its security forces out of the West Bank. Translation provided by the BBC News Service. SAM BUTLER DuT ,OABox I IRUE.J.1 All ftz ~c..Yv$scAe( 4-nbc ~ + y o *Vi t.ehvrowch*- ye~, ~ ~ ~ 2.0 ~7F7f o~ E r t n +Jo The 2nd Annual Truth Manifesto: 20 things that burn DUSTIN J. SEIBERT THE MAN IFESTO So I suppose I should consider it a blessing that I am still pumping out this column after three semesters. I am still here in all my angry black man glory, still trying to keep things as thorough as possi- ble and I haven't compro- mised myself yet, which means something, I suppose. I get a lot of heat from readers for having such a "negative" and "warped" view of the world, but the way I see it, the blinders came down for me a long time ago, giving me the ability to see the absurdity of the world, of people, and even of myself, and the mentality will forever stay with me, mentally, emotionally and in the physical form of the tattoo on my left arm. I'm no miserable, antisocial, angry wretch keeled over a computer in a dark room getting off on flipping the world the bird; frankly I consider myself quite fortunate to be able to keep my mind- set and participate in everyday life at the same time (a well-crafted skill I, tell you). Why should I have to conform to what society has laid before me? Why should I be tethered in the proverbial box that is every stereotype that I qualify for? Conformity is like a prison to me - you may as well put a gun to my head and pull the trigger. For this time of transition into finals, I won't run too deep on this column. I normally don't do lists, as they are oftentimes indicative of a lousy writer, but hey, I got things to do as well, and lists are a nice way to vent, so without fur- ther ado, here is a number of things that don't quite better my brief stay here on Earth: Censorship. It is the idea that we cannot handle certain things that are said and showed to us. Everybody is always trying to silence someone else, which is sad because it yields the idea that there should only be one way and one voice. We so-called "open minded" liberals suf- fer from this and don't even realize it ... admir- ing a beautiful lady on the street, just to watch her lift a cigarette to her mouth and see all the attraction roll away in a puff of smoke ... asses who wear their sunglasses indoors because they think it's "cool ..." muscle shirts on anyone, let alone cats with no muscles to speak of... The idiots who were actually convinced that a grown man, let alone the president of our country and leader of the free world, choked on a pretzel. Can someone say "Budweiser ...?" People that walk around in this god-awful cold Michigan weather in shorts and T-shirts. They think 45 degrees-plus is summertime and they look like damn fools and make the rest of us uncomfortable just looking at them ... The Defend Affimative Action Party, their mentali- ties, their methods, their actions and their cloud- ed reasoning. They do not represent the standard mentality of blacks on this campus (uh-oh! I think I am a racist now!) ... walking in on a cir- cle jerk with Ruben Duran, J.J. Wilson and the rest of the writers at The Michigan Review.... The pursuit of a relationship is enough to drive my otherwise grounded ass straight up the wall. It's basically a glorified game, and if you haven't mastered the motions you are bound to come up short every time ... the widely accept- ed idea that Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls are the best emcees ever. Neither of them are. the greatest - they are just above average rap- pers who happen to no longer be breathing. It's another example of the completely ig'nant idea that greatness comes from death ... White folks that live and die by the full-body tan. Sure the most beautiful women in the world are brown- skinned, but it's almost like tanners are not con- tent with the skin that they were born with. Makes you wonder .... Dogmatism. People who stay stuck on a cer- tain set of beliefs just because. The worst part about it is that a large amount of the people who hold their beliefs to be true can't even point to the source and tell you why they think that way (never more present than in religion) ... Con- doms. They destroy the experience. Yeah, I know they are necessary but that doesn't mean I have to like them ... Having my field bitch Ruben Duran failing to properly bring in the dividends ... these sorority pants with the Greek letters printed on the ass. Who came up with that? That has to be one of the wackest fashion ideas ever.... About 90 percent of the fraternity par- ties on campus. I can stand around drinking Natty Light while listening to bad Nelly records and discussing the last episode of "The Sopranos" at home. Watching rhythm-free dancing and drunken girls fall over themselves while talking gibberish are added bonuses though, especially when they see you in class the following week with a mortified look on their faces ... The general consensus that Bursley Hall sucks. It's nice, peaceful, and we have a sense of community unlike any other hall on cam- pus, particularly Markley, the Mecca of General Studies majors .... DPS. They revel in their back asswardness. They remain inconsistent and obviously cultur- ally biased when it comes to the level of securi- ty at social gatherings on campus. Obviously second tier toy cops whose applications to the police academy fell through ... Weak souls who get all riled up when playing the Dozens. Do I really know your mom? Then qwitcherbitchen! ... The Grammys and the Oscars. Enough said. Ahh ... that felt great. This column really was therapeutic - two weeks of incessant stress gone with a few strokes of keys. But I know that the stress a boomerang, waiting to come back and hit me. So, if you are a cute young lady with a good conversation and a bet- ter massage, please call 555- ... oh, to hell with it. I'll get at you all in the fall. Knowledge. 6 6 Dustin Seibert can be reached at dseibert@umich.edu. A whole semester of commentary PETER CUNNIFFE ONE FOR THE ROAD he job of the colum- nist, to analyze, hec- tor, philosophize or just press readers' buttons, is a tricky one that requires great care. Miscalculations can leave one misunderstood, looking foolish and possibly pissing off people he never intended to. But it is when columnists enter the realm of prediction that they invite real danger, for unlike mere opinions, this is when they can be proven wrong. Since there are apparently few consequences to being wrong (Dick Morris still has a job), for my last column of the semester, here are some predictions (some good, some grasping at straws) of what will hap- pen over the summer. GUBERNATORIAL PRIMARY Those writing off David Bonior's chances in the Democratic primary because he's cur- rently only polling at 11 percent are in for a sur- prise. Bonior will pull off a victory over Jennifer Granholm and Jim Blanchard. The effectiveness of unions (which are mostly back- ing Bonior) at voter turnout was shown in the come-from-behind victory of Sen. Debbie Stabenow in the last general election and they should be at least as enthusiastic about their longtime ally, Bonior, in the primary. And his new running mate, state senator Alma Wheeler- Smith, has the credentials and rhetorical muscle to help turn out liberals for the ticket. Republi- can boasts notwithstanding, he's a good bet for the general election too. He's someone liberals can be enthusiastic about, but who also attracts many voters who are often unreceptive to Democratic candidates with his few, but notable conservative stances (such as being pro-life) and an appealing populist message. 15TH DISTRICT CONGRESSIONAL PRIMARY The money and interest group connections cultivated during his 47 years in the House of Representatives give John Dingell the hands down victory over 8-year Rep. Lynn Rivers. Ann Arbor will support Rivers, but Dingell's longtime Dearborn constituency won't abandon him and the district's other communities in Wayne and Monroe counties are ideologically closer to Din- gell, which he'll make sure to point out in endless ads. Also look for the reverse of 2000's Democ- rats voting for McCain phenomenon: Republicans turning out to elect their preferred Democrat, the more conservative Dingell. THE TIGERS Will lose 100 games. OUR NEXT UNIVERSITY PRESIDENT This one's more hope than expectation, but I'm betting on Madeleine Albright. Already affiliated with the University as a Distinguished Scholar at the William Davidson Institute, she's a prominent academic and experienced admin- istrator with useful government connections. Yes, I have no indication she's ever been under consideration or if she'd even take the job. But how could we resist such a noted figure who would be great at drumming up alumni support, attracting other important academic figures from around the world and bringing in federal money. I've heard her leadership style can be overbearing, but I'm sure she understands how a university works. Also, stronger administra- tive control of University divisions may be warranted in light of incidents such as the blun- dering and insensitivity of the Department of Sociology, Department of Near Eastern Studies and Office of Multi-Ethnic Student Affairs in sponsoring a conference (Perspectives on the Muslim World: Unveiling the Truth) where the literature sold denied the Holocaust. ISRAELI/PALESTINIAN CONFLICT The United States will force Israel to give up its current effort to weed terrorists out of the West Bank. The United States will facilitate drawn out negotiations, but, after furiously lowering expectations for them, will participate only half-heartedly. Major concessions will be offered by neither side and the negotiations will fail. Suicide bombings will pick up again and Israel, noting the success of the April cam- paign at curbing them, will reinvade. This time the United States will finally do the best thing possible for both sides by letting Israel end the cycle of violence by destroying the terrorist capabilities of the PLO/Hamas/Islamic Jihad. The Palestinian inde- pendence movement, free of the insulting claim that Palestinians just can't help blowing up peo- ple trying to have dinner, will have increased support because of legitimate non-violent meth- ods and convince Israel to grant serious conces- sions and make a Palestinian state possible. BUSH Initial failure to curb violence in the Middle East and putting too much political capital in an unsuccessful attempt to convince other countries to go along with an invasion of Iraq will lead to major political embarrassment and an end to sky- high poll numbers. This will result in his ultra- conservative domestic agenda finally coming under real scrutiny and further damage his stand- ing. He will blame the media for this. These are just my best guesses. Because of personal preferences, I actually hope some of them are wrong. But right or wrong, like any good columnist, I'm sure I'll be back to predict again. Peter Cunnife can be reached atpcunniff@umich.edu. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Tacos, Mexicans and Weekend imperialism: Absolute nonsense TO THE DAILY: This is a very short resnonse to Aleian- attachments to American food in any way, especially nasty corporate food like McDonalds. Also, I'm pretty sure that the tacos that Weekend Magazine was referring to are those which the average American is famil- iar with, whether served at Taco Bell or the dorms INSlrFAn OF WHINMGAQ~Il wRflIG N<::.Paf [ -