4 - The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, April 2, 2002 OP/ED 4 Tbe Ilrbigtuu iOaiI 420 MAYNARD STREET ANN ARBOR, MI 48109 letters@michigandaily.com EDITED AND MANAGED BY STUDENTS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SINCE 1890 JON SCHWARTZ Editor in Chief JOHANNA HANINK Editorial Page Editor Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority of the Daily's editorial board. All other articles, lette's and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily. NOTABLE QUOTABLE One man's Truce of God is another man's opportunity for devilment." - Paul Johnson, in yesterday's edition of the Wall Street Journal, commenting on the use of violence during religious holidays; specifically the Palestinian terrorists responsible for the suicide bombings in Netanya, Israel during Passover. y r-, S c¢ '11Lka /1~s1-4he e6c(os ( t~aO~.t3 a SAM BUTLER THE SOAPBOX You've got mail (and a diploma) GEOFFREY GAGNON G.OLOGY 40 or those of us graduat- ing later this month, April is sure to be a' busy month. But for one of those being honored at com- mencement, this April may be especially hectic. A month after starting his sec- ond season with the Colum- bus Clippers and a few days after fans lined up to claim bobble-head dolls that bear his likeness at the Clippers' April 14 game, Drew Henson will graduate from the University. If the list of graduating seniors posted in Angell Hall is to be trusted, Henson, the onetime Michigan quarterback turned New York Yankees minor league sensation will be trading his pin- stripes for a cap and gown. It was this time last year that the heralded signal caller turned in his maize and blue for Yankee blue, pocketed a $17 million signing bonus and bid farewell to campus. In an interview with the Daily on March 5, Henson said that he plans to finish up the require- ments for his degree this spring in order to gradu- ate on time, four years after first coming to Michigan. Make no mistake, Henson's commit- ment to earn his degree in four years despite leav- ing school early is nothing short of impressive. But it's what the third baseman said next that real- ly caught my attention. Henson described how he has progressed with his academic work since leaving school by monitoring the course work by computer - "I still have to e-mail in my papers and take all the tests," Henson explained. Now I take nothing away from Henson, but in my four years of school here I have never once seen a syllabus that allows students to e-mail the work from out of town. I'm not saying that Hen- son shouldn't take classes of this sort if they are offered by the University; I'm just wondering why I haven't been. I'm going to feel pretty stupid if I spent four years here and never once heard that you could take classes by e-mail. Its no secret that more pro- fessors are using the Internet as a learning tool, but Henson has perhaps stumbled upon some- thing most of us have missed. Now, I could be misunderstanding Henson's description of his courseload, but if he is to be believed, there are classes that require no participation or attendance, offer no lectures or discussions and allow for the work to be sent from out of state. I have to admit the whole idea of Henson reg- istering for courses that allow him to earn his degree from the hundreds of miles away remind- ed me immediately of those Sally Struthers com- mercials featured on daytime television a few years ago - the one where Sally tells viewers how wonderful earning a degree from an accredit- ed correspondence school can be ("You can study a paralegal profession or even small engine repair right out of your home, please call today"). The thing is, Michigan isn't the type of corre- spondence school that Henson's email curriculum would indicate. We don't need Sally Struthers to run cheesey commercials during Brady Bnmch re-runs on TBS - not yet anyway. Who knows though, a few more mail order diplomas and the University may be tempted to rethink how it does business. Now again, it's certainly a remarkable testa- ment to Henson to have stuck with school after joining the Yankees' minor league system. With $17 million in the bank and a steady career field- ing grounders ahead of him, Henson could have easily justified giving up on school. By compari- son, Chris Webber made almost $300,000 even before leaving Michigan and he never came back to get a degree. Perhaps Webber didn't know he could e-mail the work from Oakland. I admit that I might be the last one on board here. For all I know everyone is taking e-mail- only classes and living in Arizona, Tampa and Columbus like Drew. But honestly I had never heard of this. If the University wants programs like this to catch on it needs to do a better job publicizing them or they just won't take off the way they could. Of course, I don't mean to single out Henson, especially after he's spent so much time earning a degree that most people in his position simply would not. And for all I know, Henson's been a regular in his classes here on campus (although between summer baseball in Ohio, fall baseball in Arizona and spring training in Florida, this seems like a stretch). If the e-mail option is in fact open to guys like Henson it should be open to others. I don't fault Henson or slight his achieve- ment; and I'm not even that bitter that a Michigan degree will be earned in Columbus, Ohio of all places. I just hope Henson's accomplishments in the classroom (or rather Columbus area apartment as it were) aren't compromised by standards that make his degree any different than mine. Geoffrey Gagnon can be reached atggagnon@umich.edu. I A Drowning our inner child ,25 cents at a time AUBREY HENRETTY NEUROTICA N o one ever says, "I want to be an Internal Revenue Service agent when I grow up." People want to be doctors, lawyers, teach- ers, firemen and con- struction workers. We want to be space cadets. We want to cure cancer and be gourmet chefs and live in log cabins in the moun- tains, to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, to buy the world a Coke and keep it company. We want to be cooler than we were in middle school. Most of the world's population lacks adequate medical care. Classrooms are overcrowded. Public defenders are over- worked. The space program peaked in the '60s. Last time we checked, there was no correlation between Coca-Cola consump- tion and world peace. Cancer still wins more often than it loses. Yet there is no dire shortage of IRS agents. So many of us start out with good inten- tions. We set up lemonade stands (25 cents for a plastic cupful) on the sidewalk with our friend Nicole on the weekends and sell cookies for ten cents apiece (less than our parents paid for them on sale at the corner store). We make colorful signs and talk about what we want to be when we grow up (nurses and marine biologists, stand-up comedians and truck drivers) and the great things we will invent (flying cars and cher- ry-flavored cough medicine that actually tastes like cherries). Not as business savvy as the kids down the street with the boom box and the designer Dixie cups, we eat more cookies than we sell. A few of us - the luckiest - get into decent colleges. We are older, but no less starry-eyed. Cough syrup is of little conse- quence to us; we have ideas. When we grow up, we tell our friends and families, there will be no more racism or sexism or poverty or injustice in the world. We have studied great thinkers' thoughts and become brilliant; we can fix everything. Just you wait. This time, it will work. So, what happens? Where do all the young visionaries go to die? At what point does the eye doctor/tax collector changeover occur? More importantly, why does it occur? With all the loud, proud idealism that per- vades college campuses nationwide, why do we turn out such sorry CEO-to-soup kitchen volunteer ratios? One argument says people go to college to get good (i.e. facilitating the acquisition/maintenance of sport utility vehi- cles and large domiciles) jobs. It is for some a stepping stone to the upper-middle class and for others a rain check promising engraved plaques outside brick buildings: Welcome to the Rich Banker Auditorium. This is America. Take what you can get. But what about space camp? What about the giant hospital we were going to build in Somalia? The master plan to end internation- al conflict, strife and general unpleasantness? The cough syrup? Most "successful" post-collegiate card- carrying members of the social elite are quick to dismiss our aspirations as childish delusions of grandeur: Impractical if not impossible. We will, they say, understand when we are older and wiser and the real world is snapping at our heels. We will leave our lofty ideals out in the garage with our old board games and rusty one- speed bicycles. Our peers will sigh with relief and welcome us to the fold and the country club. Before long, we too will chortle, pontificate, dismiss and forget our dreams, amazed we were ever that young and stupid. We will grow up., Meanwhile, we keep on with our ideas and our words, our enthusiasm intact and unscathed (or at least minimally scathed). We stomp our feet and shout, demanding respect from head-patting naysayers who smile and blame college. We buy each other Cokes. We don't want to grow up. Aubrey Henretty can be reached at ahenrett@umich.edu. 60 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Slave reparations an issue of longitudinal culpability To THE DAILY: What the staff of the Daily Campus wrote in Slave Reparations: Suit underscores hypocrisy (4/1/02) grossly misrepresents the issues involved. Consider this sentence: "Farmer-Paellman is basing her claim against people living today, based on the culpability of others who have been dead for one and a quarter cen- turies." The opinion piece argues that, since the descendants of slave owners are not at fault, they should not be punished. This is horribly misguided. Profits were made on slavery. The correct question is: Should these profits be in the hands of African-Americans alive today or in the hands of company owners alive today? The opinion piece argues that the descen- An ideologically inconsistent conserva- tive position would be: Blindly side with the status quo, highlight fairness to the wealthy, and obscure fairness to others. The staff of the Daily Campus chose the second route. ANDREAS PAPE Rackham Contextualizing murder does not legitimize murder To THE DAILY' Reading the headlines about what's happen- ing in Israel and the West Bank has left me feel- ing a sinking, sickening feeling of despair. I don't really understand what Sharon and Arafat are trying to accomplish and that frightens me. I do understand what Hamas is trying to do and it appalls me. I read Amer Zahr's column yester- day and it made me angry (She was from Dheisheh, Palestine). He wrote: "The Palestinian suicide fire in protest. A person who walks into an area crowded with civilians and detonates a bomb has intent to murder. Is Zahr seriously asserting that this is just a spectacular form of suicide? I find it difficult to believe that any of the Palestinian sui- cide bombers are unaware of the death tolls of previous attacks. The bombs are full of screws and nails! The ends of the Sept. 11 hijackers and the Palestinian suicide bombers are different, but the meansare essentiallythe same: The indis- criminate killing of civilians. Zahr's column invites me to contextualize the actions of the suicide bombers. He's correct that the Palestinians have legitimate grievances that cry out for redress. But allow me to decontextualize for a moment. The suicide bombings are murder. If the bombers are politicized and legitimately aggrieved, then they are politicized and legiti- mately aggrieved murderers. Contextualize that. JESSE JANNETA Alumnus 0 ......... ............................................. ........................................................................