Slicin' Eyeballs ... "The "Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" and "Un Chien Andalou" tonight at the Michigan Theater, 7 p.m. Free your mind, square. michigandaily.com/arts ORO- u 1aiI ARTS MONDAY JANUARY 14, 2002 5A Jack Black is only highlight of an otherwise dismal 'Orange County' By Jeff Dickerson Daily Arts Editor Tom Hanks and Sissy Spacek star in a film direct- ed by Lawrence Kasdan. Actually, Colin Hanks (son of Tom Hanks, "Joe Versus the Volcano") and Schuyler Fisk (daughter of Sissy Spacek, "Violets are Blue") star in "Orange Coun- ty," a film directed by Jake Orange Kasdan (son of Lawrence County Kasdan, director of "French Grade: D- Kiss"). "Orange County" is advertised as a comedy, but it at Showcase and can be aptly described as a Quality 16 Hollywood favor gone horri- bly wrong. Colin Hanks plays Shaun Brumder, an aspiring writer ; stuck in the sun-laden beach- fest that is Orange County, Calif. (Los Angeles area for you geography peons). The high school senior's entire life is devoted to getting admitted to Stanford, home to Marcus Skinner, his literary idol. With a 1520 on his SAT's, a 4.0 grade point average and the dubious title of class president, Shaun seeming- ly has the ideal transcript and a virtual guarantee on his college admission. Keep in mind this is a Holly- wood comedy; Enter the plot twist. Things go awry when the school guidance counselor (Lily Tomlin) sends the wrong transcript to the noted university, resulting in a courteous rejection letter to Shaun's home. As Shaun sinks into a deep depression in his backyard pool, his friends and family offer solutions to his post-high school dilemma. The catastrophic letter is a momentary roadblock, as his family and 4 friends devise a plan to meet with the dean of admissions. From this point on, the film follows a standard comedy formula note by note, blemishing the audience with banality. His girlfriend Ashley (Schuyler Fisk) is less ambi- tious, planning to continue her education at Orange County University (yeah that's right, it's fictional). The redhead is infatuated with her boyfriend and offers nothing but praise for his writing and ambi- tions. Her other passion is for helpless (or hapless) animals, driving her to rescue a stray dog caught in traffic. How sweet ... not so fast. This is merely a plot device to get a leg-humping dog on screen for a few minutes. How clever. Colin Hanks exhibits many of the same manner- isms as his famous father. The physical attributes are uncanny, reminding viewers of Tom Hanks in "Splash," When listening to the young actor spout his trite and meaningless dialogue, Colin sounds remarkably similar to his Academy-Award winning dad, minus the charm and confidence. Tom had to make "The Volunteers" and "Bachelor Party" before going on to "Philadelphia" Will the same be true of Colin? With a supporting cast filled with a plethora of leg- endary comedians, "Orange County" haphazardly wastes the talents of nearly all of the supplemental actors. Catherine O'Hara and John Lithgow play Shaun's divorced parents: O'Hara as a raging alco- holic and Lithgow as a business-savvy non-family man. Their troubled relationship and eventual re-con- nection is foreseeable and offensively generic. "Sat- urday Night Live" veteran Chevy Chase has a brief cameo as the school principal, reminding the audi- ence his career has plummeted to the level of Ronnie James Dio. Ben Stiller provides another cameo, mak- ing viewers wish they could be magically transported to a screening of "The Royal Tenenbaums." Courtesy of TNT These three amigos make Dennis Miller look like a sheep. 'Mayhem' looks at co ed tri phs of 1d Cosell Jables crying because he deserves better. The saving grace of the film lies in the capable hands of Jack Black. The zealous comedian steals every scene he's in; unfortunately his appearances are few and far between. The more attractive half of the acoustic rock duo Tenacious D provides the only laughter in the 90-minute timeframe with his perfect delivery and awkward physical comedy. Black plays Lance, Shaun's older, brother who still lives at home and spends the majority of his day popping pills and watching cartoons. "Orange County" is utter tripe. Abound with sex jokes, drug humor and a plot so predictable a kinder- garten student with attention deficit disordercould follow, the film falls into the same chasm that nearly all teen -comedies do these days, becoming an amal- gam of mindless "entertainment" and low-brow humor. Jack Black is the unly reason the film can legitimize a passing grade. Other than his glorious presence, the movie is nothing short of a Cleveland steamer. By Melissa Gollob Daily Arts Writer "Monday Night Football" is an American institution which began just over 25 years ago. This first primetime sports series saved ABC and created a new genre in televi- sion. For the first Monday Night Mayhem TNT Tonight at 9 From Fire' to 'Lying Awake,' the best 'releases of the past year in literature time, fans tuned in to be enter- tained by the sportscasters just as much as the athletes. Howard Cosell, Don Meredith and Frank Gif- ford made "Monday Night Football" great. Tonight, TNT brings the story of "Monday Night Football" to life in "Mon- day Night May- hem," as it By Neal Pais Daily Books Editor The last several months have certainly seen enough tumult "and draia to overshadow the achievemients of some of the year's brightest authors. There has been an understandable displacement of literary interest; A dearth in interest, though, has not prevented authors and publishers from releasing fine work.. But alas, a new year is upon us. We hope that the present conflicts of our time may have a resolution close at hand and can only we make a return to our normalcy. And so, this humble book editor entreats you to invest some of your leisure time in good litera- ture. "Read for pleasure?" you exclaim. "But I have not the time!" Well, that's just poppycock. Make the time. A good book is perhaps one of the greatest sim- ple pleasures one can hope to enjoy. So go ahead and keep enjoying your debaucherous weekend nights, but I also would recommend freeing up some time forone of these'grns: "True History of the Kelly Gang" by Peter Carey - The story of Australia's most celebrated cowboy. Yup, that's right - the land down under once did have its share of pistol-toting, bronco-tam- ing heroes. This Booker Prize-winning masterpiece attempts to break through the myths surrounding Ned Kelly and his cohorts. What emerges from this "True History" is a beautiful account of the enigmatic per- sonality and exciting exploits of one of Australia's most legendary men. "Glue" by Irvine Welsh - Irvine Welsh is perhaps Generation X's most brilliant documenter. In his latest look at drugs, modern life and more drugs, Welsh captures the story of four Scottish lads and their coming of age within the Edinburgh projects. No different from his prior works, the language is coarse and the situations are explicit, but this novel emerges as a truly remarkable glimpse into rave cul- ture, addiction and urban sex and dating. A damn fine book. "Half A Life" by V.S. Naipaul - This year, India's biggest literary juggernaut released his latest contribution to the world of literature. And in this case, I do not use the term literature lightly. This dude is one of this century's greatest living writers. Although Trinidadian by birth, Naipaul weaves here yet another story about the effects of British colonial- ism on the Indian psyche. "Half A Life" recounts the sad life experiences of a rootless middle-aged Indian man. The language is beautiful and the style is superb. "The Universe in a Nutshell" by Stephen Hawking -In 1988, eminent astrophysicist Stephen Hawking penned "A Brief History of Time" in order to appease the curiosities of the masses. The ground- breaking work proved to be accessible to the less than absolutely brilliant. Now with his "Universe in a Nut- shell," further conceptualizes with pictures (yay! It has drawings!!) and entertaining abstractness some of chronicles the successes and fail- ures of this groundbreaking pro- gram. "Monday Night Mayhem" focuses on the injustices done to Howard Cosell during his career. Cosell was born with a gift in vocabulary and used it to catapult himself into tele- vision. With his controversial friendship with Muhammad Ali, he championed black athletes and their accomplishments. For all of his good deeds, his most famous work came in the booth of "Monday Night Football." The movie begins as the National Football League searches for a net- work to broadcast their Monday night games. ABC picks up the show and puts together a team that breaks all the rules of sports com- mentary. Two staples in the booth are Cosell (John Turturro, "O Brother, Where Art Thou?") and Don Meredith (Brad Beyer, "The General's Daughter"). The third member of the team rotates throughout the movie and finally settles on Frank Gifford (Kevin Anderson, "Sleeping with the Enemy"). ABC decides to make the broadcast about entertainment instead of just the game itself. They revolutionize the way sports are broadcast on television by using the maximum number of cameras and angles. These three beloved person- alities constantly fight and bicker as they achieve unprecedented success. The sorest point for Cosell is the repeat attacks from Meredith that he never played the game and could never know as much about football as former players.. This three-men- in-a-booth system switches periodi- cally, but the program never suffers low ratings until Cosell leaves. As the years slip by, the changing tastes of network executives and viewers finally force Cosell out of the booth. The movie moves more like a doc- umentary because all the characters are real individuals. The producers help identify who each actor istby scrolling their name across the screen when each new person arrives in the narrative. This is help- ful for those not familiar with the story and the famous personalities involved. Even though the plot con- centrates on "Monday Night Foot- ball," knowledge about football is not required to enjoy the movie. The actual games are not important atall because the series is about the enter- tainment. and not the competition on the field. Turturro portraying Cosell brings the most beloved and hated sports- caster t' life in an unforgettable per- formance. He recreates his unique voice and mannerisms that will make the audience forget they are not watching the actual Cosell per- form. Cosell's conflicting emotions of loyalty and frustration come across the screen well as Turturro adds the right blend of drama to the role. "Monday Night Mayhem" stays true to the people involved, and none of the performances are too over the top. The portrayal of Don Meredith makes him seem too stu- pid to have won an Emmy award for the program. On the other hand, Patti LuPone's ("Life Goes On") subtle depiction of Cosell's wife Emmy brings her supportive nature to the forefront as her husband struggles with his place on the show. This dramatic behind-the-scenes look at the evolution of "Monday Night Football" shows how one man made and kept the revolutionary show on top of its game for 15 years. "Monday Night Mayhem" deals with issues that will provoke new ideas about the way sports are viewed on television. Courtesy VofWWNoron& Co. "Fire" by Sebastian Junger - In this collec- tion of true accounts, Junger, most notable for his "The Perfect Storm" explores instances in which humans come to confront danger. Written with the style of a practiced journalist, "Fire" contains a high- ly diverse plethora of recent news stories in which different sets of ordinary people face nature's fury, war and hitting very close to home, international ter- rorism. It is at times very moving, and stands as a very well-conceived piece of literature. * "Lying Awake" by Mark Salzman - Alter- nately informative and spiritual, Mark Salzman's "Lying Awake" describes the cloistered life of a high- ly unusual character an epileptic Carmelite sister. All the more interesting is the nunnery's location within downtown Los Angeles. Salzman's work soft- ly probes some of the scientific foundations of mental disorders while capturing the meaning of faith in its most religious sense. P o- r V B Courtesy of Vintage Books the most complex theories1 Trust me, it's sweet. in quantum mechanics. Bill and Ted's not-so excellent new DVD By Andy Taylor-Fabe Daily Film Editor The explosion of DVD releases in the past few years has led to the creation of c super-sized, special Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure DVD edition double disc sets that include documentaries, interviews, delet- ed scenes and countless other extras to satisfy the cinema-geek. through life, doing little and thinking less. Their one passion is their band "Wyld Stallyons." When they are told that they are in danger of failing history "most heinously" if they don't ace their final oral presentation, they begin to despair. Just when they are at their low- est, a man named Rufus (George Carlin) from the 26th century comes to bail them out. It turns out that Bill and Ted become musical gods and eventually save the world, but if they fail history and Ted is Law Library Web Assistant Needed 0 Edit, scan, and create documents; limited amount of web design OIP Summer Study Abroad Fair Thursday, January 17, 2002 Michigan Union Pendleton Rm 3 to 5 pm Bill and Ted are both clueless, but they have that same likable charm that all idiot duos have. This movie spawned an entire Ian-