8A - The Michigan Daily - Monday, March 4, 2002 ARTS Aaliyah's teeth not enough to save sub-par 'Damned' 'Days' should be given up for lent By Lyle Henretty Daily Arts Editor Your enjoyment of "Queen of the Damned" may hinge on your reac- tion to the following: Hong Kong - style martial arts vampire fight during a goth-metal concert. Are you drooling? Did you think "The Brotherhood of the Wolf" was OK but a wee bit too hoity-toity for your taste? "Queen of the Damned" will not tax your reserves. It is never clear whether the film desires to be a dark, moody, atmos- Deep") crams two Anne Rice novels (one that gives the movie its title, the other "The Vampire Lestat") into one film, sacrificing nothing except coherence and character development. What saves it from being a complete waste of time is the dirty-decadent joy that turns this bloated B movie into a fun bloated B movie. The blood is sharply red over the washed out whites, grays and blacks that per- meate the rest of the film. Vampires don't simply bite, they slurp. The film wallows in its own *1 QUEEN 4 DAm At Showc Qualit Warner Is there a petal in your pocket ...? metal band, which subsequently becomes the most popular band in the world. Seriously. Oh, and Lestat tells everyone that he's a vampire, and no one seems to have a problem with it except for the other * vampires (of which, apparently, there are OF THE plenty) who decide to NED come after him. After these early-film case and happenings, the audi- y 16 ence is treated to a long flashback documenting Bros. Lestat's early days vamping with Marius (Vincent Perez), who originally introduced Lestat to the dark side. The film then makes the obvious transition back to the modern day, where Lestat's music has awakened ancient vampire Queen Akasha (Aaliyah) who eats everyone in sight and goes after Lestat to mate with him and attacks another group of vampires lead by Academy Award winner Lena Olin who want to kill both her and Lestat and they're all being tailed by Mar- guerite Moreau who works for some sort of underground vampire-hunt- ing group. If you're confused, it's because this movie doesn't make any sense, and you could fit large, many-sided items through the holes in the plot. Moreau's character seems to be a Lestat love interest, as he never kills her and she helps him save the day, though it is never explained why the vampire doesn't just eat her. Olin, as far as I can gather, plays the Glenda to Aaliyah's Wicked Witch of the West, though I'm not sure, as it is never really explained While only on screen for about 10 minutes, the late R&B singer Aaliyah received more press than anyone else in what amounts to Townsend's movie. The singer died in a plane crash last summer just before completing her role, and her older brother provides voice-over for a few scenes. The actress exhibits a strange control while onscreen, gyrating and eating peo- ple with the fierce animalism of Grace Jones (or an angry rhino). While the part calls for nothing more than looking beautiful and wearing fake blood, Aaliyah's provocative presence suggests her film career could have broadened beyond fake diamond headdresses and plastic teeth. Rymer aptly guides the audience through special effects sequences and decadent, bloody-sensual slow burn shots with the vampires. Scott Abbott script tries to do too much without explaining anything. Char- acters come and go, and major plot points aren't introduced until the final reel. That said, anyone who goes to a movie entitled "Queen of the Damned" should not expect Jean- Luc Goddard. "Queen of the Damned" is by no stretch a good movie, but few movies are these days, and this one certainly isn't the worst. By John Laughlin For the Daily Spontaneous erections, naked women, Viagra, condom flinging and a female orgasm from a flower. Mix in a little religion and you have the basic ingredients to Michael Lehmann's "40 Days and 40 Nights." The film centers on Matt a (played by Josh Hart- nett), who has decid- ed, in an attempt to regain control over his 40 DAYS love life, to give up NIG all sexual activity for Lent (yes, that At Show includes masturba- Quali tion). The audience then spends the next Mira hour and 30 minutes reveling in this young man's sexual frustrations. The film is not without a love interest, named Erica (Sossamon) who some may remember from her role as Jocelyn in "A Knights Tale." She and Matt both work for dot-coin companies set in San Francisco. Erica checks porn sites all day and Matt designs web pages. These two cyber-geeks stumble upon one another in a laundromat, but due to Matt's "situation," the relationship is all but easy. A few other familiar faces grace the screen, such as Matt's best friend and roommate Ryan, played by Paulo Costanzo (Road Trip), Neil (anyone remember Ben Fong-Torres from Almost Famous?) and Michael C. Maronna, playing the infamous "Bagel guy," who looks like the lead singer from the Spin Doctors (so that is what happened to one of the brothers from Nickelodeon's "Pete and Pete" ... poor bastard). Female members include Monet Mazur (Nicole) and Maggie Gyllenhaal (Samantha). The cast is decent but falls a bit short due to its sole pur- pose on screen being to run a bet- ting pool or chiming in with the occasional funny remark. 'Nights' is definitely not a "chick flick," but it isn't just some guy 3A H vca ty m movie with a lot of T&A (although it does contain that in spades). The film rides that fine line between the two and makes it enjoyable for both sexes. It is interesting to see a male lead with a sexual dysfunction. The cinema gives us many male models, but this one gives us a man who is atypical in that we see the psycho- logical reason why he leaves after sex; we see his heart being broken, 0 and we see him dealing with real issues. Lost 3ND 40 love, a test of one's self TS and a new found romance - formulaic? ise and Yes. Stale? No. 16 Lehmann's craft is quite good at getting ax these points across. The opening credit sequence with home movie look? Awesome. The portrayal of his hometown of San Francisco? Great shots. His Alt- man-esque, quasi- "Dr. T and His Women" scene with Matt floating in a sea of breasts? Killer. The main problem with this film is that you can only make so many jokes revolving around erections and sexual frustration before they lose their luster. The religion ele- ment adds some character to the film - I don't think I've seen a half naked boy handcuffed to a bed quot- ing the bible on screen to date. This is not to say that the film doesn't work - because it does. The pacing is slow, but the idea of the story is fresh and interesting. The plot between Matt and Erica is quite cute, and having a date sequence take place on a bus ride was actually pretty cool. That said, "40 Days and 40 Nights" won't be the greatest film you will ever see, but it is a fun ride. While the Queen song from the trailer is absent in the film, the soundtrack is hip and meshes well with scenes. Hartnett is cool and Sossamon is sassy. The film will make you laugh, make you cry, maybe make you hard and maybe make you want to go out into the desert and be tested by Satan. 2002 GRAMMYS RECAP Entertainment's worst awards live up to b *Ing On Feb. 27 the biggest names in music gathered for the 44th annual Grammy awards to continue their staunch tradi- tion of doling out awards that don't actually count for anything other than proverbial artistic resume builders. U2, Alicia Keys and the soundtrack to the Coen Brothers' "O Brother Where Art Thou" came away with largely useless and gener- ally unimportant wins. It is unfortunate that the genuine musicianship of the performers on the "O Brother" soundtrack had to be recognized in the same evening as Keys and U2. Equally unfortunate for viewers was National Academy of Recording Arts and Science President Michael Greene's devotion of his entire speech to the condemnation of file-sharing software. Greene's lecture confirmed beliefs that all the music industry does in fact care about is money. -Luke Smith, DailyArts Editor AND THE BIG WINNERS ARE RECORD OF THE YEAR - "WALK ON," U2, ALBUM OF THE YEAR -O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU SONG OF THE YEAR - "FALLIN" ALICIA KEYS,' BEST NEW ARTIST - "FALLIN," ALICIA KEYS BEST FEMALE POP VOCAL - "I'M LIKE A BIRD," NELLY FURTADO BEST MALE POP VOCAL - "DON'T LET ME BE LONELY TONIGHT," JAMES TAYLOR BEST ROCK ALBUM - ALL THAT YOU CAN'T LEAVE BEHIND, U2 BEST RAP ALBUM - STANKONIA, OUTKAST Spend some time at home alone with your best 'Friends' on DVD By Christian Smith Daily Arts Writer Audiences, advertisers and net- work honchos alike breathed a collec- tive sigh of relief as NBC announced that "Friends" would be coming back for another year. Signing on for a ninth season for a reported $1 million per episode each memeber, the cast will postpone its has-been status as some of the highest paid stars on television. a But for those of you who can't get enough of THEI your "Friends", either FRIENI from the new episodesP Thursday nights on NBC Picture/Sot or the incalculable num- Movie: ** ber of reruns that air Features: every day in syndication on UPN and TBS at all hours of the day, there is a special DVD box set highlighting the best of "Friends." The DVD four pack includes two discs with 10 episodes of fan favorites and two discs con- taining the top 10 episodes, also as voted on by the fans. Each episode features additional footage and re- mastered Dolby Digital 5.0 sound, and the discs are also available indi- vidually as well as in two separate compilations. Extra features on the discs include cast and crew biographies, a docu- mentary, and extra bits of footage added to each episode, but most of the time this just consists of an addi- ID unc tional joke that was cut out because it wasn't that funny in the first place. However, The One That Goes Behind the Scenes is an extremely informa- tive 42-minute documentary that gives an in-depth look into the mak- ing of the show. Originally broadcast on The Discovery Channel, this behind-the-scenes look details the creation of the episode entitled The One After Vegas. The rest of the DVD isn't quite as enlight- ening, leaving out last year's hilarious outtake ;EST OF special hosted by IS DVD Conan O'Brien, but the episodes them- d: * * selves make up for that. k Everyone knows the ____ story of the six rela- tionship-challenged 20/30-somethings, but this set gives a concise and thorough summary, span- ning from the pilot all the way to The One With the Proposal. The one gaffe is the two-part fantasy episode, enti- tled The One That Could Have Been, which imagines what would have been if the "Friends" had made dif- ferent choices (i.e. if Monica was still fat and had Ross stayed married to a lesbian). Except for a few clever inside jokes, this was one of the series' low points. Highlight episodes include four of the always-funny Thanksgiv- ing episodes and first season gem The One With the Blackout, in which Chandler is trapped in an ATM vestibule with a Victoria's Secret model. But the heart and soul of this anthology, like that of the show itself, comes courtesy of the emotional roller coaster that is Ross and Rachel's relationship. The discs take us through their all-encompassing voyage, from the breathtaking highs to the heartbreaking lows. This best-of collection may seem somewhat unnecessary with the approaching season-by-season release of the entire series, and you might not even need it at all for another year. But assuming that the ninth (and probably last) year is as charming and witty as the current one, this DVD set is still a great way to enjoy "Friends" forever. Leavng As& A ~sh _: <. , a ", r, rir nl mM U' lay? til f f v' neK. Shape the Future of Health Care as a Doctor of Chiropractic V If you want to help people get well and stay well... V If you want to work independently as a self- employed chiropractic physician... VIf you want to achieve the financial success commensurate with your professional standing as a Doctor of Chiropractic... ' ''""""'******'''"''''''."" * .d If you want to establish your position in the a community as a highly respected Doctor of Chiropractic... a s ubleleff Advertise it in The Michigan Daiy ummer Subet Secion .r . ..". ,