0 4 6B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend MMuazlne - Thursday, February 21, 2002 The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - V THE SAGA UNDER EPISODE11: JIzz WAILERS VS. BY JEFF DICKERSON - DAILY ARTS EDITOR oCRLTNY THE CANTINA BAND Top 10 reasons to stay at school over spring break When it comes to music in the "Star Wars" universe, few if any musical acts get any recognition. Songs are scattered far from one another, between space battles and lightsaber showdowns. From the four films in the epic science fic- tion series, only two bands get any screen time, The Modal Nodes (commonly refered to as the Cantina band) and The Max Rebo Band. While the bands get similar screen time, one band's musical tal- ent gets overshadow by the other's pop sensibilities. The first music introduced in the saga is found at the halfway point of "A New Hope" in the Mos Eisley Cantina. The Modal Nodes, a seven member garage act (Figrin D'an, Doikk Na'ts, Ickabel G'ont, Nalen Cheel, Tedn Dahai, Tech M'or and Lirin Car'n) entertain the mass of humans, hammerheads, jawas and a host of others. Their postmodern- jazz inflected songs often go unno- ticed with the commotion in the seedy bar, nevertheless; the band plays on. Unfortunately the dynamic musi- cal compositions of the Modal Nodes was long forgotten by the time "Return of the Jedi" hit the- aters. As the ambiguous droid duo R2-D2 and C-3PO enter Jabba's baroque-style palace, a trifecta of pop savvy creatures, known simply as The Max Rebo Band sits quietly before their rousing set. This would be the end of the brilliant act The Modal Nodes and the genesis of the. mass-marketed-over-played-radio- garbage that is The Max Rebo band. Irony is no stranger to those in the "Star Wars" universe. The Modal Nodes first started their illustrious musical career in Jabba's Palace, only to be replaced shame- fully by The Max Rebo Band. The band of Bith musicians was a part of the Intergalactic Federation of Musicians, but some gambling debts by group leader Figrin D'an forced the troupe to seek other eco- nomic opportunities. After playing some wedding gigs, the Modal Nodes were long gone from the desert wasteland of Tatooine and their Hutt employer. The story behind how Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes ended up in the Mos Eisley Cantina has become somewhat of a myth. Rumor has it when Jabba learned of the band whoring themselves out for weddings and other special events, he put a bounty on their heads. Fleeing the the most wretched hive of scum and villainy where they could lay low, the band became a lounge act in the busy spaceport. Jabba needed to find a quick fix for his lack of musical accompani- ment, thus Max Rebo, Droopy McCool and Sy Snootles became staples of the crime lord's lavish surroundings. Max Rebo is the highly deriva- tive leader of the eponymous Max Rebo Band. By Matt Grandstaff Weekend Magazine Editor So you waited until the last minute to make spring break reservations, and now you have nowhere to go. .Fear not, for Ann Arbor is a great place to spend a week in solitude. Here are a few ideas that will make your week better than any trip to Florida, Acapulco or Jamaica. 10. Catch up on school work - For students weeks behind in their reading, spring break is the perfect time to do a little catch up reading. Then again, students this far behind probably didn't buy books in the first place. So instead, just watch a few hours of "Saved by the Bell." 9. Explore Ann Arbor - Have you always wondered what North Campus is like? Ever wondered if there is a 7-11 anywhere in this city? With so much time to spare over break, exploration (getting lost) is a great way to spend a day. Be careful though, outside of campus, you are likely to get hit by a car if you try crossing the street in traffic 8. Deliver newspapers - With so many students gone for the week, there are sure to be thousands of Wall Street Journals going to waste. Take advantage of this and try sell- ing them to "Crazy Protest Guy" in the Diag so he can learn some things about the real world and stop talking about drugs and masturbation. 7. Take the "Crazy Protest Guy's" place in the Diag - With "Crazy Protest Guy" out of the pic- ture, you can start practicing a protest of your own. Think of some- thing creative like "kill the Butterfinger," "don't donate blood" or "Bring back the Cheesy Gordita Crunch." Once you have a good protest, you can practice so the stu- dents will be amazed when they get back. 6. Clean your apartment - Better yet, trash your "I got to go to Hawaii" roommate's room. When your roommate gets home, tell him you couldn't find the spatula. 5. Play "Meijer Survivor" for a week - Imagine you and 15 of your friends trying to stay in Meijer for seven days. But beware of dangerous immunity challenges such as having to eat live gerbils in the pet depart- ment. 4. Gain weight and get pale - With all these fancies dieting and tanning to look great for spring break, it's time to make a change for yourself. Eat Taco Bell for every meal and put Clorox all over your body. When your friends get back, you can get them to say, "Wow, you really look like shit!" 3. Watch the "Sopranos" - Every episode ... eight times. When your friends get back, let them know that the show has toughened up your image and break their arms. 2. Hook up at the bar - I bet you didn't know Thursday nights become "Senior Night" during spring break. Now you can get 50 years of experience in one night. Just make sure you pick up some Viagra for the party and Polident for the morning after. 1. Sleep - Sleeping through an entire spring break is not the worst thing that could happen. Besides with your baggy eyes, messed up hair and feces breath, you will still be able to contend with "Crazy Protest Guy" for the honor of being the. scariest guy on campus. This won't be that hard to accomplish, however, as the two of you could be the only ones that stayed in Ann Arbor over break. ' Courtesy of Lucasfilm The helpless cough of a squirrel with a crushed face, that's what life's all about. Enjoy a night of semi-automatic music on Saturday February 23rd featuring: Frank Pahl Show starts at 8 p.m. Admission is $5, $3 for students, with proceeds benefiting the Ann Arbor Hunger Coalition Sunday evening Jazz Mass at 5 p.m. Alternative worship featuring live music by Stephen Rush and Quartex The blueish-hued-flop-eared-red- ball-jett-keyboard-playing-alien led bandmates Droopy McCool and Sy Snootles as part of a group called Evar Orbus and His Galactic Jizz Wailers. Their sound could best be compared to early Bob Marley & The Wailers meets post Here Come the Warm Jets Brian Eno. Soon after the group had its first hit single with the tech- , no-induced "Lapti Nek," the group renamed itself and met up with their future employer Jabba the Hutt. After a successful 90-day trial period, the slug-like crime boss gave Max Rebo and his two jizz- wailing associates a lifetime con- tract. .Back on Tatooine, The Modal Nodes were content playing their Birth of Cool-esque set lists without the fame and fortune achieved by their successors. Sadly, the tal-" ented musicians will be noth- ing more than a lounge act in a universe unwill- ing to accept musical revolu- tion. For every hit single pro- duced by the Max Rebo band, the more gifted musicians such as Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes will get shoved aside V in favor of mass-produced chorus heavy songs. Perhaps with the fiery death of The Max Rebo Band on Jabba's sail barge (courtesy of Luke Skywalker and company), the trend of over-commercial- ized music will die with - Y it. A look at the underside of U of M I www.universitysecrets.com Droopy McCool, Max Rebo and Sy Snootles kicking out the jams. Corner of 1st and Huron St. Downtown AA (734) 623-7400 www.damatos.com "I am the King of the Campus!"