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2B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. Magazine - Thursday, January 17, 2002
Random hates when asparagus makes pee smell weird

The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. Magazine - 1

By Josh Wickerham
Daily Arts Writer
The Michigan Daily: Hello. This is
Josh Wickerham from the Michigan
Daily. Is Michael there?
Random: This is.
TD1%: Guess what? Out of 40,000
students on this campus, you've been
randomly selected to have your opinion
published in Weekend, etc. magazine.
How does that make you feel?
R: Wonderful.
TMI): Do you think there are too
many people, just enough or not
enough?
R: Mmm ... There's enough people.
TMD: Do you enjoy work?
R: Yeah. It's not bad. All I do is go to
.school in the fall, but in the summer I
landscape and lifeguard. It's nice to be
outside.
TMD: Do you think people have to
work?
R: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do.
TMD: Are you happy that things are
getting "back to normal?"
R: Yeah, sure
TMD: Do you like school?
R: Yeah.
TMD: What's your favorite class this

semester?
R: My favorite class? Probably
organic chemistry. Either that or Latin.
TMD: Do you ever feel a loss of
affect in your life? A loss of agency to
affect change or even have some sem-
blance of order in the world?
R: No, not really. If you want to do
something, you go and do it and make a
difference in someone's life, you go and
make a difference. It's one more person
that was touched.
TMD: What do you think about the
prospects of revolution in this country?
R: What do you mean?
TMD: Overthrow of the government.
R: (Laughing) Don't think that'll hap-
pen. Some things need to be changed.
TMD: Like what?
R: Some of our policies. I don't know
law very well, so I could mess up.
TMD: Just tell me this. What don't
you like about our present situation?
R: It doesn't make sense how we can
go somewhere and kill mass numbers of
people that can't defend themselves. If
we did that here, we'd have a problem
with that. We can just take people out of
their homes and take them somewhere
else and there's nothing they can do
about it.

TMD: With what political party do
you affiliate?
R: Probably none. I don't know. I
don't know my political parties,
whichever one says the most stuff. You
know they have to lie and speak to the
majority.
TMD: Do you think marijuana
should be decriminalized?
R: Eh? As long as they're not doing it
in a destructive manner, do whatever
you want.
TMD: Have you ever smoked pot?
R: Yup.
TMD: Have you ever eaten a product
containing hemp?
R: No, I haven't.
TM): Are there any people you
hate?
R: There are some people that aren't
nice to talk to.
TMD: Do you believe that hatred of
others is reflective of one's own self
hatred or are there people who you just
hate aside from personal reasons?
R: You just don't see the same way
they see, so you're never going to know
everyone who will agree with you.
TMD: Do you see history as a series
of oppressed peoples struggling against
oppressors or more of a ship of fools?

R: I'd say a little bit of both, but more
like a ship of fools, because we're kinda
going by blind luck. None of us will
know where we are in a month
TMD: Do you believe in god?
R: Yeah.
TMD: Is your god vengeful?
R: Maybe.
TMD: You should know your god.
R: I imagine he is.
TMD: What kind of vengeful?
R: I don't know. I don't think people
should hurt other people
TMD: So you think god is a people?
R: I think god is in people.
TMD: Do you think the world will
end some time in your lifetime?
R: No.
TMD: Do you believe that the world
will end?
R: Long after I'm gone.
TMD: When the world does end, do
you think Jesus will come back?
R: (Laughing) I don't really think
about things that far in advance. That's
not something that will affect me. If he
does, it'd be cool for the people around
to see him.
TMD: What will happen then?
R: It'd be kinda cool to shake his
hand, but then there'd be long lines.


Those damned Christians in line.
TMD: Do you think there are any
precursors necessary for the end of the
world? i.e., what kinds of scenarios are
we going to see before the four horse-
men of the apocalypse come from the
sky rmining fire?
R: Oh geez. I have no idea. Nothing
we have done prior to this point. It'd
probably have to be something much
worse.
TMD: If George W. Bush had died
on his pretzel this week, do you think
Jesse Ventura would have a shot at get-
ting the Republican nomination for pres-
ident in 2004?
R: Probably not. I heard a lot of peo-
ple from Minnesotta don't like that guy
TMD: Do you think it is of national
security importance that our president
be regulated to an all-liquid diet?
R: I think it'd be humorous. I would-
n't complain.
TMD: Which food mishap do you
think affected the Bush dynasty more?
Sr.'s vomiting at a Japanese banquet or
Jr.'s pretzel problems?
R: I think Sr.'s vomiting would defi-
nitely take the cake.
TMD: Do you ever wake up in the
morning and wonder, why you're here,
what you're doing, and where you're
going?
R: Yeah, I do.
TMD: What do you do when that sit-
uation presents itself?
R:Probably go take a shower, put on
my clothes, and go to class. Just keep
working hard and things will work out in
the end.
TMD: Don't you hate it when
asparagus makes your pee smells weird?
R: Yeah, I do.
TMD: Do you have a dog? Have you
ever fed your dog any bodily fluids such
as boogers?
R: No. I don't think the dog would
care all that much. I give my dog too
many humanistic qualities.
TMD: Have you ever drank any Dr.
Pepper knock offs like Dr. Zeppa or the
Meijer brand, Dr. M?
R: Yes, I have. And there's no differ-
ence in taste. Actually, I might like the
Meijer brand better. Just like the Cherry
Coke knockoff. I'd try it if I were you.
TMD: Do you ever feel like you're
performing your identity?
R: Yeah, I try to. If I'm successful is
another issue.
TNMD: Do you feel like there is a lot
of repetition in your life?
R: Not really. Some things you like to
do repeatedly. It's the way things are.
You kinda have to repeat some things.
But I don't really notice it. Doesn't real-
ly bother me.
TMD: Do you ever lament the fac
that Communists squandered thei
chance?
R: Not really. They had their shot. 
mean they can still come around.
TMD: But you think the Communis
menace could still come around?
R: Oh sure.
TMD: What's your favorite Taco Belt
item?
R: Probably have two. Is thai
allowed?
TMD: It's a first, but that's OK.
R: Nacho cheese chalupas. Soft tacc
supremes.
TMD: Thank you very much.

S. 1st St., 10 p.m. $5 ($7 under 21) 996-
8555.
Pork Barrel Salamander I hope this is a and
name and not the name of limp's new
album. Elbow Room, Ypsilanti, 10 p.m. $4
483-6374.
Dylanfest This ribute to Dylan will feature
many local musicians jamming out tunes
from the living corpse all to raise money for
the Ann Arbor Safe House Domestic
Violence Project. Leopold Bros., 517 S.
Main St., 9:30 p.m. $5 747-9806.
THEATER
"Cherchez Dave Robicheaux" See Thurs.
ALTERNATIVES
"Local Color: Dan Bradt's Watercolors
from Michigan Historical Scenes" See
Thurs.
"A Matter of Degree: Abstraction In
Twentieth Century Art" See Thurs.
"People and Places: The Baker Gift of
20th-Century Photography" See Thurs.
Sunday
BOOKS
Feed the Poets Poetry reading, this month
featuring Natalia Knazik and Matt Ernst.
Open mic readers welcome. 1:30pm, Del
Rio Bar, 122 W. Washington, free; 761-
2530.
Charmine Craig Reads Craig reads and
signs copies of her book The Good Men: A
Novel of Heresy. 5pm, Borders Books &
Music, 612 E. Liberty, free; 668-7652.
CAMPUS CINEMA
Amelie See Thursday. State Theater, 2,
4:30, 7 & 9:15 p.m.
Charlie Chaplin Films Where is Robert
Downey, Jr.? Oh yeah, rehab or some
child's bed outside L.A. Michigan Theater,
2 p.m.
Gosford Park See Thursday. Michigan
Theater, 6 & 9 p.m.
In the Bedroom See Thursday. Michigan
Theater, 5:30 & 8:30 p.m.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of
the Ring See Thursday. State Theater,

2:30, 6 & 9:30 p.m.
MUSIC
On a Winter's Night: John Gorka, Cheryl
Wheeler, Lucy Kaplansky, Cliff Eberhardt
They plan to warm frozen winter hearts
with fuzzy soul warming folk. The Ark, 316
S. Main St., 7 p.m.and 9:30 p.m. $20 761-
1451.
Phil Ogilvie's Rhythm Kings Know ledge is
KING! The Firefly Club, 207 S. Ashley St. 5
p.m. $7. 665-9090.
Open Mic Side Show Eclectic showcase
almost any weird talents welcome. T.C.'s
Speakeasy, Ypsilanti 9 p.m. $2 4834470.
THEATER
"Cherchez Dave Robicheaux" See Thurs. 2
p.m. $15.
ALTERNATIVES
"A Matter of Degree: Abstraction in
Twentieth Century Art" See Thurs.
"People and Places: The Baker Gift of
20th-Century Photography" See Thurs.
Monday
BOOKS
Lani Guinier Lectures 3pm, Pease
Auditorium, EMU Campus, free; 487-3045.
CAMPUS CINEMA.
Amelle See Thursday. State Theater, 4:30,
7 & 9:15 p.m.
Gosford Park See Thursday. Michigan
Theater, 4 & 9:30 p.m.
In the Bedroom See Thursday. Michigan
Theater, 4:30 & 7:45 p.m.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of
the Ring See Thursday. State Theater, 5 &
8:30 p.m.
Rear Window Is this Hithcock's classic or
that great ABC remake with Christopher
Reeve? I'm crossing my fingers that its
Superman. Michigan Theater, 7 p.m.
MUSIC
Leonardo's Open Jam Talent and audience
invited. 2101 Pierpoint Commons, North
Campus, 8 p.m. free 764-7544.

Two of the animal stars of Disney's "Snowdogs" sit happy after eating the worthless Ci
20th-Century Photography" See Thurs.

The Bird of Paradise Orchestra 14 piece
jazz big band. Bird of Paradise, 312 S.
Main St., 9 p.m. $5 662-8310.
Lowen & Navarro They've written songs for
The Temptations and Pat Benetarbut now
they're more efficient cutting out the mid-
dle man (woman). The Ark, 316 S. Main
St., 8 p.m. $15 761-1451.
"A Tribute to Gospel Legend Mattle Moss
Clark" Under the direction of Dr. Rudolph
V. Hawkins, the Rudy Hawkins singers and
several local choirs unite to perform many
gospel favorites, including many of Clark's,
who was one of the founders of Gospel
.music in Detroit. 8 p.m. Hill Auditorium.
$12-26.n764-2538.
ALTERNATIVES
"Local Color: Dan Bradt's Watercolors
from Michigan Historical Scenes" See
Thurs.
"A Matter of Degree: Abstraction in
Twentieth Century Art" See Thurs.
"People and Places: The Baker Gift of


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Tuesday
BOOKS
Two-Year Old Drop-In Storytime Features
stories, rhymes and songs especially for
two-year olds. 9:30am, Ann Arbor District
Library, 343 S. Fifth Ave, free; 327-4200.
Nicolas Delbanco Reads Delbanco reads
from his works The Countess of Stanlein
Restored and What Remains. 8pm,
Shaman Drum Bookshop, 315 S. State,
free; 662-7407.
CAMPUS CINEMA
Amelie See Thursday. State Theater, 7 &
9:15 p.m.
Gosford Park See Thursday. Michigan
Theater, 7:30 p.m.
In the Bedroom See Thursday. Michigan
Theater, 7:45 p.m.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of
the Ring See Thursday. State Theater,
7:30' p.m.
MUSIC
Blind Pig Showcase Night Featuring Sprout
& The Orange, The Submarines,
Debauchery and Patrick Couples. The
Blind Pig. 208 5. 1st St., 10 p.m. free ($2
under 21) 996-8555.
Take a Chance Tuesday: Doug Wood,
Ryann Anderson, Jason Dennie Future
famous folksters folk it up now. The Ark,
'316 S. Main St., 8 p.m. free 50 761-1451.
The Ron Brooks Trio Does this mean all
three of them are named Ron Brooks? Bird
of Paradise, 312 S. Main St., 9 p.m. $5
662-8310
ALTERNATIVES
"Local Color: Dan Bradt's Watercolors
from Michigan Historical Scenes" See
Thurs.
"A Matter of Degree: Abstraction in
Twentieth Century Art" See Thurs.
"People and Places: The Baker Gift of
20th-Century Photography" See Thurs.

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Courtesy of Paramount Pictures


Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz doing their rendition of "The Uon King" on the set of "Vanilla Sky."