4A - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, November 29, 2001
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necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily.
half the car
could hear him."
-A witness quoted by The Washington
Post's Lloyd Grove about rmer
drug czar Barry McCaffeyarking
into his cell phone on Amtrak s
Metroliner, apparently upset
that he was not the eatured speaker
at a conference he was traveling to.
Nomclahd . A-C
I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that
DAVID HORN HORNOGRAPHY
o they have
kids go to this school?"
This was the question I
overheard at the comput-
er next to me in Angell
Hall on Tuesday as I sat
down to prepare to
CRISP. When I heard it, I
had no doubt as to the content of the con-
versation on which I was eavesdropping.
"It's like it's being run by Greg," said
one of my housemates on the CRISP sys-
tem, in reference to another housemate
who is responsible for a DSL fiasco that has
left us without Internet access for weeks.
"They should just have CRISPing take
place over, like, a month ..."
The idea to expand the CRISPing peri-
od by a number of weeks, suggested by a
friend of mine, makes sense. I am curious
to hear the rationalization for the con-
densed and hectic CRISP week. It seems to
me that, if the problem has to do with a
system that can't handle the mass numbers
of students trying to CRISP on a given day,
ease the system's load by decreasing the
frequency of visits.
The situation is pretty pathetic. And
each year the University makes a new
innovation to remedy the problems
involved with registration. The student
whose conversation I overheard mentioned
how much he missed the CRISP lady. I
suppose I do too, on a strictly sentimental
level. Practically, she was sort of (forgive
me ladies), a bi ... no. Not going to say it.
Another friend of mine on Tuesday, frus-
trated by her inability to CRISP, said that she
was always a bit turned on by the CRISP lady.
As she sort of stammered and exhaled her
words: "You ... are ... reh-gi-sterd ... for ...
Eh ... gih ... neer ... ing ... three ... thirty ...
five ..." Whatever floats your boat, I suppose.
But when the University upgraded from
the CRISP lady (sexy as she was), they
needed to upgrade to something along the
lines of HAL (that's Heuristically pro-
grammed ALgorithmic computer) 9000.
What we ended up with isn't even as good
as K.I.T.T. (that's the Knight Industries
Two Thousand) of Knight Rider fame. The
current CRISP program is as stupid as
Keanu, as inefficient as the BCS (that's
Bowl Championship Series) and not nearly
as good-looking as Hasselhoff.
I could complain about the money it
costs for me to attend this school, and how
they (whoever the omnipresent "they" is at
this University) should be on top of these
sorts of problems; how "they" should be
testing this program all year, and how it
should be flawless by the time it debuts
towards the end of the fall term.
And that complaint is legitimate. Students
should not have to spend entire days (yes,
plural) waiting in lines and staring dumbly at
computer screens. A student who has pre-
pared his or her ideal class schedule should
be able to register for classes in a matter of
minutes. Of course, to prepare a schedule one
must have access to the tentative Winter
2002 schedules ahead of time; such has not
been the case this week.
I understand that back in the day kids
waiting in lines and records and schedules
were kept on paper and people dealt with
But this is not back in the day.
The University pretends to be on the
forefront in technology in comparison with
other Universities of similar size and pres-
tige. If the gauge of that self-credit is based
on academic research, grants and awards,
then kudos, 'U.'
But spend a little time, thought and money
to make sure your undergraduate students
have access to superior technology, too.
David Horn can be reached (assuming he
has uninterrupted access to the University
server) via e-mail at email@example.com.
V LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
It's too bad Syed was attacked,
but if he hates U.S., then leave
offensive, taken from
TO THE DAILY:
I must express my disappointment in the
Daily's publication of a cartoon by Samuel Butler
(11/27/01) which was in very poor taste because it
was a low blow at a man who has, through out his
life, been a superior advocate of peace, liberty and
euchumenism. The cartoon was very unoriginal
because it stole directly from a Monty Python
film (and not one of their good ones), and which
was also insulting to the beliefs and theology of
the Catholic church, that is to say all those who
consider themselves Catholic. The cartoon was a
gross misrepresentation of the church's position,
as it has never taken a position approaching that
which is suggested by the cartoon. The Daily, a
not-all-together terrible publication ought to take
more care in what it publishes on its editorial
Mockery of Pope
divides united nation
TO THE DAILY:
I am shocked that, as we have united as Amer-
Pope John Paul I1
BY BARRY FULLER
In response to Waj Syed's column in yester-
day's Daily ("Ignorance on the Union steps"
11/28/01), I would like to apologize on behalf of
the wino that attacked him, simply because I'm
sure he won't come forth and apologize, and I
would like to make it clear that he is not repre-
sentative of America.
In yesterday's column, Syed said: "America
is ignorant. So are most Americans. And that too
in a very important way: culturally." To support
this statement Syed includes the tellings of what
happened to him Monday night.
First, Syed is interviewed by a reporter who
is trying her best to relate reality to the rest of the
metro Detroit area. She is interviewing foreign
students to get their reactions to racial profiling
in an effort to let others know that it is real and
cannot be ignored. Unfortunately, this reporter
came unprepared and mistook Pakistan for a
Middle Eastern nation. What a tragedy.
Next, he encounters a police officer who is
trying to help by calming you down, then is
chastised for using poor grammar by saying
"Pakistanian." I'll pretend I can't see the poor
grammar Syed uses throughout his column like
sentences with "till" and "and." Finally, Syed
met a bystander who saw the incident with the
wino and decided to stick around and give his
story to the police. He could have just left since
he was under no legal responsibility to stay, but
he decided to help a stranger. According to
Syed, this "ignorant" American makes three
mistakes. He infers that Pakistanis and Iranians
look alike, somehow conveys the point that Ira-
nians deserve to be targeted, and thinks that Pak-
istan is nowhere near Iran.
I actually agree with the bystander's first
point because I wouldn't be able to tell the dif-
ference between a Pakistani and an Iranian just
as much as I wouldn't be able to tell the differ-
ence between a Japanese and a Chinese person
or as much as you can probably tell the differ-
ence between an American and a Canadian.
I don't understand how you took his state-
ments to mean that Iranians should be targeted,
since all he said was that you look similar to an
Iranian and asked where you are from.
Finally, as shocking as it may be, not many
people have a working knowledge of the geo-
graphical locations of Asian nations. I just found
out myself that Iran and Pakistan share a border.
Should I be labeled as ignorant for not knowing
that? My point is this. If I had chosen to go to
school in Pakistan, I would at least try not to hate
the people. I wouldn't expect them to know
where Michigan is, and I wouldn't get pissed if
I wouldn't lash out in the school newspaper
how most Pakistanis are ignorant and how much
I hate the country. I wouldn't announce that Pak-
istan is in a "geo-strategic fallacy," but that's
probably because I'm ignorant and I don't know
what that means. Bottom line: If you truly hate
America, then leave. No one is forcing you to be
here. I just thought it was funny that you contin-
ually bash America, but you do so by enforcing
your right to free speech as well as the freedom
of the press, two of the most important reasons
why this is the best country on the planet.
Barry Fuller is an Engineering junior.
icans following Sept. 11, the Daily would print
Samuel Butler's cartoon (11/27/01) which mocks
the Catholic faith. If Butler presented an accurate
description of Catholic teaching, this would not be
bigotry. However, Butler's cartoon presents
Catholic teaching in an inaccurate way (...the Pope
declared today...). This can only be interpreted as
religious bigotry. As a country and as a University
community, we should not support religious big-
otry. We should not be anti-Catholic, anti-Islam,
anti- Judaism, anti-atheist, etc. Do we need anoth-
er terrorist tragedy to remind us of this?
School of Public Health student
fails its job, 'U'
TO THE DAILY:
I miss the CRISP lady. Registration
was easy and quick a few years ago.
We dialed a local number and a nice
computer-woman guided us through
registration. But students had to com-
plain about how we could not register
via the Web.
Well, now you have it. Web regis-
tration. Hope you enjoy it, because I
most certainly do not. I have been try-
ing to get some kind of response out of
wolverine access for four hours. Regis-
tration was faster when I used a phone,
a printed class schedule and the old
Wolverine Access all at once.
The registrar's office tells me that
they plan on starting a person-to-per-
son registration process soon to allevi-
ate the mess made by web registration.
I was told students would be asked to
wait in line for an hour or two at the
LSA Building. Good. Then we can
jump back in time ten years, back to
when you had to wait in line. But you
could see the end of the line and you
knew about how long you had to wait.
Has this technology made our lives
easier? Do you have more free time
because of web registration? I think
not. Before the University starts using
a new registration method we need to
make sure it works. Web registration
has not run smoothly at the University
since it was introduced. I liked it better
when I could say to a friend, "Hey, did
you CRISP yet? I just CRISPed this
... but stop whining
TO THE DAILY:
In reading the Nov. 27th, edition of
the Daily, I would like to ask the stu-
dents that commented these questions:
Do you remember not owning a com-
puter? Do you remember when the
Internet was an exciting new form of
Well, I do! I remember waiting in
line, outside of a building hoping to get
a class that might remotely help me ful-
fill my course catalog requirements. For
hours. These days, college students
don't have to get dressed or put on a
pair of shoes to register. They grab a
Devoted Creed fans fire back
Band will save, bring
nation back to its
To THE DAILY:
I wasn't aware that the Arts section of the
Daily has become yet another forum for Christ-
ian bashing. Nick Woomer's Nov. 27 review
("Singlehandedly defining new 'Suckcore'
genre") lacked any recognizable form of musi-
cal criticism but seemed to be written for the
sole purpose of furthering what seem to be his
as well as the Daily's political agenda. The
writer even admitted this early in the article:
"Some might say that the religious under-
tones in Creed's music are what make them so
awful and I'm somewhat partial to this expla-
cal political agenda with us, I recommend he
do it outside of an Arts review.
How can Creed get an F?
TO THE DAILY:
I am very upset with Nick Woomer's review
about the band Creed and their new CD. In case
Woomer didn't know, you need to listen to a CD
first to give it a review. Then after that that you
should listen to it again and again.
I personally love their new CD. Now Woomer
is telling me he gave it a grade of an F. That is the
stupidest thing I have ever heard. If he didn't
notice, both former tracks "Higher" and "With
Arms Wide Open" were and are still great songs. I
suggest someone else on the Daily's staff review