eRi TSrgan taq
NOVEMBER 1, 2001
'M' could learn a
lot from Spartans
We've heard it all before. Michigan students call
Michigan State students unintelligent, low-
class, uncultured and socially malfunct. They
say our campus is too big, our teams are easily beaten
and our classes are jokes. We know nothing about their
academic challenges, their social pressure or their mas-
sive collections of knowledge.
Meanwhile, Spartans students call Wolverines snotty,
pretentious, boring, overambitious and big-headed. We
complain that they don't even have a campus and their
students take class competition over the top. They know
nothing of our academic challenges, our social normal-
cies or our Spartan pride.
Our parties are riots. Your parties
We shop at the lowly mall. Your
prissy skin crawls at the thought of
Yes, we've definitely heard it all
The truth is that there are people
who fit both stereotypes at each
school. There are slackers in Ann KRJSTA
Arbor and there are geniuses on the LATHAM
banks of the Red Cedar. Both The State
schools have nationally acclaimed News
sporting teams. It's hard for me to
say it, but both schools, even Michi-
gan, must have something to offer.
To say every person at a school fits one personality is
shortsighted. I don't like to lay blanket statements like
that. I have friendships (although most are dwindling)
with Michigan students. My brother was a Wolverine. I
can't hate the entire Ann Arbor community.
So let's imagine I can slice away the quality people at
Michigan (all 36 of them) and directly attack the popula-
tion of Wolverines who do fit the stereotypes.
What's wrong with you people?
I grew up in a somewhat affluent community brim-
ming with people who thought they were better than oth-
ers. The cool kids at my school were self-appointed, they
were snotty and they were simply "better" than the rest
It's amazing how Michigan found a niche in attracting
those social dingbats.
But really, I'm curious. Explain this to me.
How does a person become obsessed with being right,
with being better, with material things?
There is a kid like this in every class, the one who is
always raising his hand, always correcting everyone else,
and always telling everyone he got an "A" on a test.
Michigan State is that quieter kid who also gets an
"A" and just slips his paper in his bag, and smiles to
himself. We're the kid that just gets the job done and
You're not really smarter than us. You just rub every-
one's face in it. We go on with our lives.
On Saturday, I know some of those arrogant Michigan
students will find a way into Spartan Stadium. They'll
stand in our student section and say things like, "Go
team, tally-ho!" They'll act as though they know every
single thing about every single player. They'll shout out
plays to head coach Lloyd "Scary face" Carr, as if he
can hear them.
In other words, they'll be those annoying ones that
everyone will pick out and shower with obscenities.
And that will be fun.
But even more fun will be the game itself. Ignore
Michigan's No. 6 slot in the national poll and the skewed
No. 4 ranking in the Bowl Championship Series. Those
numbers don't mean a thing in this game.
Take a look at some other figures:
Michigan State is 7-1 against the last eight Top 25
teams that have wandered into Spartan Stadium. We
have won three of the last four outings in East Lansing
against the Maize and Blue. And Michigan State is aver-
aging more first downs, more total offense, more rush-
ing yards and has given up fewer passing yards than
But stats are simply numbers on paper. They aren't the
real reason we will beat Michigan on Saturday.
You think you'll win because you're better. It's your
mantra, your security blanket in life.
And we're that person who sees you boast and than
coolly gets the job done, smiles to ourselves and goes
That's really why you don't like us, isn't it?
Krista Latham, the State News sports editor, can't believe she
said there are 36 quality people at U-M. It's more like 11. She
can be reached at email@example.com
The battle for state domination
heads to East Lansing
Wolverines' strengths enough
to take, down ailing Spartans
HE M ICHIG AN D ALY
It's a no-brainer;
Blue is far better
B efore we play this annual our-school's-better-
than-yours-game, let me establish a couple of
1. Nobody who can pick between Michigan or Michigan
State picks Sparty. The state's education ladder goes as fol- e
lows: Michigan, Michigan Tech, Michigan State, directional
school (Western, Eastern, Southern, etc.), community col-
Michigan is a world-renowned University.
Michigan State is a cow college.
This is a fact. Anyone who tells you differently, goes
somewhere between Michigan State and community college.
2. James Madison is not a school in
Michigan. It's a well-respected college
When asked what school they
attend, Sparties who couldn't manage
to get into political science here say
"James Madison," to feel better about
their education. As if anybody from
out-of-state has ever heard of this pro-
"James Madison" is a safety net R HAEL
named after a forgotten president not GOODSTEIN
affiliated with Michigan State. Mykingdom
Its all right to be a lousy school if for a voice
you're good at partying, something
Sparties claim to be good at.
"There be a hootin' tootin' barnburner tonight," they say.
I say, burning couches, tear gas and news cameras don't
necessarily make a good party.
Michigan State is given credit for being a good party
school because it's got nothing else going for it. It's like when
the teacher calls a student a good speller because he's terrible
at everything else. He's not really good at spelling, but he's
got to be good at something.
The reality is, when Michigan wants to, it's better than any
school in Ingham county that actually offers a vending com-
merce class (this is a real class. I shit you not!) at partying.
Michigan annually throws Hash Bash and the Naked Mile,
two nationally recognized parties. (By the way, I'm on to you
Sparty. There's something a little more than suspicious about
the "Michigan students" at these events who know nothing
The parties at State are just 20 guys wearing fisherman
hats and sleeveless Old Navy fleeces talking about how
much better Michigan State's packaging program is than
But despite all the ruckus at "The Farmhouse," your aver-
age Michigan State student does try hard in school. The
problem is that the average Michigan State student was that
kid in elementary school who continuously answered the
teacher's questions, but the answers were never close to
"Seven times six?" the teacher asked.
"Thirteen!" he yelled (seven times six is 42, Sparty).
It almost seemed like he talked to hear himself talk.
You tell people that you could have come here, but fill-in-
the-blank-program at State is better than anyone else's.
Nobody believes you.
Michigan is, has always been, and will always be, better.
Nobody would rather be affiliated with State than us. I
know you were told that "we're both good schools."
State was ranked the Big Ten's worst liberal arts education.
Around this state, Michigan takes what it wants, when it
wants. Anything you do, we do better - even athletics.
Now before you start hootin' and hollerin' about basket-
ball, realize that we haven't cared about basketball in a long
There's no other explanation for the Brian Ellerbe tenure.
Even Tom Izzo knows that it took a series of strange
events to lead to that little spurt of success that you had. He
knows the Michigan State name won't hold water for very
Now that that we've decided that we want to dominate bas-
ketball again, we'll reestablish ourself as king.
You guys have a nice hockey team, but when was the last
time you won a national title?
And football? Michigan strives for championship. Lans-
ing's best hotel-management school strives for six wins, a
win over "rival" Central Michigan, a trip to the Independence
or Liberty Bowl and a subsequent loss to Louisiana State. -
With four wins, you only need two more for that trip.
And you just might get those wins.
But you won't get one of them this week.
Raphael Goodstein loves the fact that he just called Michigan
State students a bunch of morons, and it was printed it in The
State News. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
By Raphael Goodstein
Daily Sports Editor
Michigan heads to East Lansing this weekend with
national title hopes, while Michigan State is playing the
role of spoiler. These two teams played these same roles
two years ago, when the Spartans upset Michigan, 34-
That year, Michigan could not stop Spartans' receiver
Plaxico Burress, who gained 255 yards, often by using
his bigger body to outmuscle the Wolverines' smaller
defensive backs. A similar story unfolds this time.
MICHIGAN STATE PASSING OFFENSE VS. MICHIGAN PASS-
ING DEFENSE: Freshman Charles Rogers is the most dan-
gerous receiver in the country, regardless of what
Marquise Walker did last week.
"I think he is a great player right now," Michigan
coach Lloyd Carr said. "He has great speed and size. He
has great hands and is tough. He runs.good routes. I
don't think there is anyone out there who is as gifted as
To date, no team has found a way to shut Rogers
down, but teams that have contained him have done so
by pressuring the quarterback.
Michigan State will not be able to use its normal quar-
terback rotation this week, as Ryan Van Dyke is injured,
leaving Jeff Smoker as the Spartans' only quarterback. If
the Wolverines are to win, they'll have to pressure him,
and prevent Michigan State from making big plays.
Michigan's secondary has yet to prove that it can do
this against teams without as much talent as the Spar-
Michigan State will win this matchup, but by how
much will determine who wins the game.
Edge: Michigan State
While defending him is a daunting task for any
defense, Michigan just might have the defense to do it.
The run-stopping part of the defense has been as good as
any in the country.
Senior middle linebacker Larry Foote is making his
statement for the Butkus award, as he already has 21
tackles for a loss this season, just five shy of the Michi-
He recorded 15 tackles at Iowa last week, seven for a
A big reason Foote's been as good as he's been this
year is because of his supporting cast.
Shantee Orr and Jake Frysinger are drawing lots of
attention from opposing teams' offensive lines, and
allowing for Foote to shoot the gaps and clean up.
Frysinger left last week's game with an undisclosed
injury, and is expected to play, but who can believe what
coaches say this week?
MICHIGAN RUSHING OFFENSE VS. MICHIGAN STATE RUSH-
ING DEFENSE: Michigan's rushing attack has been spo-
radic this year. At times, it's looked like the Michigan
rushing attack of old, grinding out games behind an
impressive offensive line.
At other times, the rushing attack has looked weak.
In a big match up, expect everyone to bring their "A"
This means that B.J. Askew will likely top the 100-
If he does, Michigan will win.
"Our goals are high and we want to run the football
for a lot of philosophical reasons at this time I will not
go into," Carr said.
MICHIGAN PASSING OFFENSE VS. MICHIGAN STATE PASS-
ING DEFENSE: Michigan quarterback John Navarre has
been better than anyone expected this year.
Although he was shaky at times last week against
Iowa, he's been good thus far this year. At times, he's
even been very good. But he's yet to play an exceptional
That game might, and probably should come this
Michigan State is missing three defensive backs from
its secondary, and with senior Marquise Walker trying to
stake his claim as the nation's premier receiver, Walker
might match Rogers' productivity Saturday.
For most of the year, Walker has been Michigan's only
consistent receiving threat. Walker will get his this week,
but sophomore receiver Ronald Bellamy might finally
break out of his season-long slump and post a big game
on Michigan State's secondary as well.
Navarre will need to limit the mistakes, but if he does,
he'll have a huge game.
SPECIAL TEAMS: Michigan State's return game is as
good as any in the country. Both Rogers and Herb Hay-
good have returned kicks for a touchdown this year and
Michigan's return defense has been very shaky at times.
The Wolverines gave up a punt return for a touch-
down at the beginning of the second half of last week's
Meanwhile, Michigan's kicking game has been shaky.
Hayden Epstein at times looks like the best kicker in the
country. At other times, he looks like he should not
Edge: Michigan State
INTANGIBLES: The Spartans are at home and seem des-
tined for a big win. Coach Bobby Williams hasn't won a
Imm - a mm-