7 - The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, October 16, 2001 Seven Channels, Seven Channels; Palm Pictures By Taryn O'Leary Daily Arts Writer Unprotected sex is bad ... although not according to the music industry. Yet again the sexually unsatisfied boys of Creed and Live have managed to produce another carbon-copy spawn, after undoubtedly interbreed- ing with Vertical Horizon and Life- house. The turbo pre-pubescent minded, yet thoroughly of age four- some, Seven Channels has yet to debut their ever-so not different sounding single "Breathe" over national airwaves. Crying of a long, lost love that has passed away, as Kevin Kirkwood sings, "gone away and I pray for the strength to carry on," it's difficult to decipher whether it's the companion- ship of the girlfriend he yearns for, or the resurgence of power in his right hand. Reeking of adolescent purity, these black-ribbed sweatered, hair- putty marinated, white boys need to be spending a little more time with their driving lessons before crooning about lost loves and broken hearts, thus leaving the ballads to the Back- street Boys, another member of an extremely incestuous genre. Lacking poetry and substance, their lyrical talent is a far cry from both credibility and creativity. Ragingly similar to almost every other current chart-topper, like 3 Doors Down, the radio stations will have to search the Pretty Together, Sloan; Murderecords By Keith N. Dusenberry Daily Arts Writer Sloan is your ex-girlfriend. They are the girl you dated for a while and really liked, but then she started to annoy you, things fell apart, and you had to dump her. There were the early days of your relationship, when you were just starting to get to know one another (the Peppermint EP, Smeared) and things were a bit awkward, but still very promising.("Underwhelmed," "500 Up"). As you got into things a little more, there was your first kiss ("I Am the Cancer"). Then things got serious, and you proudly announced your relationship to the wc rld (Twice Removed). Life got exciting ("Coax Me") and emotional ("I Can Feel It"); the future was looking good and you hoped things would only get better. And they did (One Chord to Another). Problems occasionally cropped up between the two of you ("Junior Panthers"), but the good times ("Everything You've Done Wrong," "The Lines You Amend") were so good that the little differ- ences were easily overlooked. Things got slightly rockier as .your depths of the album for a second sin- gle. Society can rest assured that Huggies will remain in business, because while the music industry is too busy teaching their boys how to play their instruments, potty-training has most definitely taken a back seat. Playing to a demographic focused on reaching second base, this album's release would have been better received perhaps three years ago, while I was still in high school dreaming of a prince charming. Unfortunately, the major record labels can't seem to get over their lack of prom-court nominations, because the need for angst and matu- rity has been poorly fulfilled by a bunch of boys still being dressed by their mothers. The moral of the story is: Safe sex is good sex - wear a condom, save a CD. Grade: C+ relationship aged and got more cotn- plex (Navy Blues) but you held on. The relationship was still strong ("Sinking Ships," "Money City Maniacs") and you hoped your love would grow in new and interesting ways. Sadly, instead of interesting they gave you boring (4 Nights at the Palais Royale), and then all of Sloan's actions were simply sad reminders of how long ago the good times were beginning to seem. Thus, began the end (Between the Bridges). Sloan still had its charm ("The N.S.," "Delivering Maybes"), but those good times weren't as good as they used to be and the bad times ("Friendship," and nearly all of Between the Bridges' lyrics) were more than you could take - the breakup was a long time coming. So, things between you and Sloan ended, and you moved on to new relationships (Neutral Milk Hotel, the White Stripes). Occasionally you would reminisce over the little things you missed about the fun you'd had with Sloan (Those melodies! Those hooks! Interesting backing vocals!), but those days were over now and you didn't heard from Sloan for a long time. Eventually, despite the ensuing relationships and your lack of communication, you got curious about Sloan and how it was doing these days. By chance, Sloan called you (Pretty Together) and the two of you arranged to meet for dinner. When you arrived at the restau- rant, you found that Sloan had got- ten more ugly ("Pick It Up and Dial It") and annoying ("In the Movies") than ever. Sure, some of itt old charm survived ("The Life of a Working Girl"), but still you were reassured that dumping them was the right thing to do. Maybe someday Sloan will come to their senses. You could reconcile your differences and get back together - but as of now, things aren't looking too good Grade: C+ TheArgument, Fugazi; Dischord By Chris Lane Daily Arts Writer "Here comes the argument ..." howls Fugazi guitarist and singer Ian Mackaye. The understatement is sharp and accu- rate. Fugazi's latest full-length bristles like a wire brush to scrub your assumptions, scratch up your apathy and reveal a better, brighter surface underneath the music industry. For those of you who you who still say, "Fugazi's that politi- cal band, right?" let me clarify. Fucked Up Got Ambushed Zipped In is Vietnhm slang, that is a less "Tango and Cash" way of saying "FUBAR." For those of who are unaware that Fugazi is on an independent record label, has never made a video, has never made a T-shirt, has never charged more than $6 for a show, and has been doing this for 13 years ... well, that is the case. And for those of you who are saying, "Wait. I've seen Fugazi T-shirts before." Consider the band's lyric, "It's time to harvest the crust from your eyes." Fugazi confounds the corporate rock industry. But forget about their "politics," all of that exists to protect the music. Thus, The Argument is 10 tracks of charged, daring and even groovy rock. Renowned for their energy and anthems, The Argument proves that Fugazi can also be found to exist in a beautiful groove. The vibrating karma of "Nightshop" or the stormy dynamics of "Oh," head straight for your pulse and massage you with rhythm. Although the band has always intentionally pushed their sound, The Argument continues down the more experimental path begun on 1995's Red Medicine. Fugazi has always been known as having intense guitar work, exploding and crashing on a jazzy bass and drum section. On this album, that configu- ration seems to be reversing itself. The Argument marks the first studio appearance of longtime roadie and live co-drum- mer, Jerry Bushell. That's right, Fugazi sometimes uses two drummers live, simultaneously. In other words, Fugazi is play- ing "rock" music where the guitars are "equally" sharing the stage with the bass and drums. Think about that for a second. Like Dylan, the beauty of Fugazi is that they sing about ideas, without being "preachy." It enlightens you with songs about injustice, inequality and basic humanity without the posturing or the didactic hypocrisy of Rage Against the Machine. In "Cashout," Mackaye laments that real estate bro- kers (like in Ann Arbor) are always increasing the rent, so to get more wealthier people into their properties, which then increases the property value, screws poor people and legit- imizes the ever-increasing rent cycle ... without it sounding like a "personal" tirade. It is, in fact, the layers, the grooves, and the "truth" of The Argument that will convince you. Grade: A 10 New Songs, Leonard Cohen; Sony Music By Keith N. Dusenberry Daily Arts Writer Proposal for the Naming and Classifying of Two New Ailments: NAME: Leonard Cohen's Disease (LCD) TYPE: Musical; Usually Terminal Symptoms: After making a string of mostly quality albums, a musician begins experimenting with his usual sound and attempts something new and "innovative." Though sometimes suc- cessful (Ween) and occasionally recoverable (Dylan), this apparent step forward usually finds a given.artist placing his foot squarely on a land mine, leaving him to watch his career explode before his eyes. This malady's namesake, Leonard Cohen, is not the first musician to suf- fer from it nor, sadly, the last. Other contempo- rary cases include Sloan and Radiohead; and Belle and Sebastian are beginning to develop serious symptoms. Just as someone should (at least temporarily) take away Thom Yorke's sam- pler, they should also smash Cohen's drum machine and synthesizers. TREATMENT: All Cohen (and Yorke, Sloan and Belle and Sebastian) needs for a while are his voice and his old acoustic guitar. If he beings to show progress, the attending musical doctor may slowly add bass guitar, and ,eventually even drums, back into the musician's diet. Effects pedals, samplers and collaborators (see below) should be reinstated only with the most promis- ing of patients. NAME: Brian Wilson Syndrome (BWS) TYPE: Musical; Usually Serial and/or Terminal Symptoms: Like the junkie who eventually turns to mainlining cough syrup, an older musi- cian inevitably looks toward collaborating as a way of rejuvenating his career. BWS is far more serious than a mere one-time duet. Contraction of BWS requires prolonged, painful addiction to one musical "partner." On his new album, 10 New Songs, Leonard Cohen shares writing and singing credit with Sharon Robinson. Robinson (like Wilson's former "psychiatrist" Eugene Landy) coaxed Cohen out of his mountaintop retreat and into the studio. But Cohen's new record suffers tremendously under Robinson's guidance. The synthesizers and drum machines are back, and now Robinson adds her superflu- ous vocals and half-realized, midi-derived musi- cal backings all over the album, only occasionally feeling it necessary to prop Cohen before a mic and make him sing. His voice sounds as good as ever, but Robin- son's production does its best to try and show that she's the real star here, just waiting for recognition. Right. Other contemporary cases of BWS include Elvis Costello and Burt Bacharach's mutually destructive partnership, and Cat Stevens' on-going collaboration with Allah. Any one of these artists might have a mas- terpiece left in them, though Bacharach's case is especially doubtful, so treatment may be worth- while. TREATMENT: Separating the patient from the collaborator is essential to curing BWS. Once the patient can again work by himself, release him from your custody, but continue monitoring him. Should he attempt to return to his old col- laborator or find a new one, immediately place the patient under your care again and treat the addiction. If, however, the patient begins work- ing again on his own or simply sits in a corner babbling about various vegetables and how he used to hang with Charlie Manson, let him be. A masterpiece may be on its way. a Grade: C Take it to the extreme ... with a career at Quicken Loans! Dynamic, cutting-edge, revolutionizing the industry ... is this the kind of company you want to work for? Interested in working for the nation's leading online lender? How about the "True to Life" probability of earning $50,000-$100,000 in your first year? VnmhII Iapoun.w% £,..arq.. *La Lri .m aLn ....: a . "N L ..a am ,I:...aa .3