Find Maps Here...
Adventure writer Miles Har-
vey, author of "The Island of
Lost Mapsspeaks at Hale
Auditorium. 5 p.m. Free.
OCTOBER 4, 2001
ELITE ENTERTAINMENT EXPOSITION
Surf or fight? I'm too
scared to do either
'm beginning to wonder about the
odor of napalm, and just how exhil-
arating it is to fill ones nostrils with
the stuff before breakfast. War is terri-
fying hell-on earth, where you can
watch your friends perish into statistics
in front of your eyes. I'm not a coward,
I'm not afraid to
with the entire
Epsilon house if '
need be, but the
idea of being
dropped off in a
with a fire-arm
and being told
"Go get 'em"
just doesn't Lyle Henretty
sound like any-L
thing I could do
with great luster. Zero
Yet I can't shake
the feeling that I'm just being a weenie,
I mean, my Grandpa was my age when
he went to WWII, and that guy down
the hall sophomore year was training to
be a Marine. What do they have that I
don't? Who, what could get me to not
only agree, but happily agree to, in the
immortal words of George C. Scott,
"Make some poor bastard die for their
Something has changed. Like every
other red-blooded film buff, I've seen
"Apocalypse Now" a handful of times.
Last week, upon the 14th or so view-
ing, I began to have admiration for Lt.
Col. Kilgore. I had always loved the
lunatic-fringe airman with his pristine
ranger hat and instant catch phrases. He
was more comical than heroic, though,
surly that was the intention. A super-
powered tool of the American Defense
Machine who was incapable of func-
tioning in normal society. The kind of
guy that got a job coaching high school
football and lived in a one-bedroom
apartment over a dry-cleaner after the
Yet something really clicked this
time. Serving under the likes of Kilgore
meant that if you were hurt, you would
be taken care of. The person who hurt
you would be killed. We're meant to
look at Kilgore as a horrific, sickly
comic parody of the gung-ho military.
As his unit attacks an encampment of
mostly civilians, a woman throws a
grenade onto an American helicopter.
Enraged, Kilgore chases the woman
down with his own helicopter, tearing
her body to shreds with machine-gun
fire and calling her a filthy savage.
Extreme, ignorant and intended to
leave a bad taste in your mouth. But
how would it effect you or I as your
friend's bodies shatter into confetti
because some "Charlie" threw a
grenade at them? I don't know. To win
a war you have to fight, and to fight and
kill people you don't know, you need a
reason. "To win the war" is a far cry
away from killing that guy, or girl or
whomever. Someone like Kilgore
allows you to feel an important part of
something bigger, something you can
really contribute to.
That entire set of ideas and images
flashed into my mind, all by the time
the Lt. Col. suggested that his men
should surf, even while shells exploded
around them. I felt sick, I actually
wanted to be a part of the unit, a part of
the game that allowed you to be macho
and surf and save your country from
those evil things, whatever they are. A
real Kilgore, not played for sick laughs,
would have no trouble leading people
just like me into combat.
I look to film for leadership because
every real leader has always been
broadcast to me over some form of
media or another. President Ronald
Reagan during the Cold War made me
feel better about life in America, as did
President Thomas J. Whitmore when
those "visitors" blew up the White
House. War movies are documentaries
to those of us who have never fired a
BB gun. "Saving Private Ryan" simply
made war scary, it was anti-war. The
battle was so real, so believeable, yet
the characters did not exist. I've never
known "The Guy From New York," or
"Their Leader." I wouldn't care enough
about these people to cover them in the
trench. On the other hand, Private Joker
and Private Gomer Pyle from "Full
Metal Jacket" are people I know, or
people I could know.
Wow, movies effect how we think
and act? Am I just repeating something
that everyone who's ever uttered "Yeah,
baby, yeah," or "Schwing" or "I'll be
back" has known their whole lives?
Films are a part of culture, they effect
the way we think, period. .
I don't buy it. I've never killed any-
one after watching countless horror
movies, or even maimed them. I never
lit anything on fire after watching
"Beavis and Butthead Do America."
Yet what it means to be an American,
to have pride, to fight, to question, to
sometimes hate what America has
done, has been more influenced by film
then by parents and school.
At the end of "Apocalypse Now,"
Col. Kurtz deserves to be killed. He's a
monster who cannot be controlled. Sec-
onds before his demise, he wonders
aloud about Air Force pilots (Kilgore?)
who are trained to erase cities with
bombs, yet are not permited to write
"fuck" on the outside of their airplanes
because it's obscene. I always think
how stupid this is, and then I watch the
protagonist hack Kurtz to, pieces with a
The Confusion. The Confusion.
-Lyle Henretty can be reached at
... : :. * a .: .
Coutesy of WEA/Atlantic
She don't look like no Eminem.
Figures in Millions of dollars.
1. Don't Say a Word ($19.0)
The only words, and I'm whisper-
ing them, are - "it sucks ass."
2. Zoolander ($15.5) A movie
about male models lost to bad
Michael Douglas movie. Obvious-
ly, this speaks volumes.
3. Hearts in Atlantis ($9.0)
Instead of being filled with blood,
these hearts are filled with water,
from the drowned.
NOXZEMA GIRL CHARGED WITH
MANSLAUGHTER - Actress Rebec-
ca Gayheart has been charged with
manslaughter in the death of a 9-
year-old boy. The Internet Movie
Database reports that the television
and movie actress, best-known for
a series of commercials for Noxze-
ma cosmetics, allegedly sped
around a stopped car, struck and
killed the boy, who was crossing
the street. No drugs or alcohol
were involved, and the boy was
reportedly not crossing at a cross-
Courtesy of WireImage
Her face belongs to County
Billboard's top 10 selling albums
1. The Blueprint, Jay-Z - The
trick to selling albums is to sell out,
and Jigga did that long ago.
2. Songs in A Minor, Alicia
Keys - Why is God punishing us?
3. Silver Side Up, Nickelback -
Isn't silver normally supposed to be
pretty cool? I gave this girl I liked a
silver crayon in third grade. She
broke it, like my heart.
4. Strange Little Girls, Tori
Amos - There are a lot of strange
little girls on this CD, but none of
them stranger than Tori herself. She
is one screwed up chick.
5. Greatest Hits, Martina
McBride - Martina McBride has a
greatest hits? Geez, who's next, Col-
lective Soul? Wait a damn minute.
6. Gerald's World, Gerald Levert
- WHO ARE YOU.
7. A Day Without Rain, Enya -
A day without rain is pretty sweet.
Rain, like Enya, sucks ass.
8. Satellite, P.O.D - I, I've never
felt so alive. Damn whoever keeps
playing this song in my .house. Jesus
doesn't like the rapcore.
9. The Look of Love, Diana
Krall - Have you seen Diana
Krall? She isn't the girl you want
giving you the look of love. You
want her giving you, "the look."
The, "I want libidmous pleasure
with no strings attached" look.
10. Hybrid Theory, Linkin Park
- For some reason or another the'se
limp-a-likes just can't stop selling
box office results
4. Hardball ($5.1) With Barry
Bonds at the cusp of the record
books you'd think more people
would be going out to see Keanu.
5. The Others ($4.7) The other
movies on this list are pretty hor-
6. Rush Hour 2 ($2.4) Most
lucrative black-asian fusion since
7. The Glass House ($2.1)
Those who live in stones should
not throw glass houses.
8. The Musketeer ($1.7) I'm
relieved to see that people aren't
going to see this shit-fest in
9. Rat Race ($1.7) Okay, here's
the ending: They split up the
money and Smashmouth is there.
And What's worse, they give it up
10. Two Can Play That Game
($1.6) Two won't be seeing this
movie as it is about to drop off the
top ten, into "Glitter" territory.
Courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox
Wasn't she in "Clueless?"
walk. If convicted, Gayheart could
spend up to a year in jail, have her
license suspended for a year, or
pay a $1,000 fine.
RIVERS' PRESHOW DUMPED -
E! Entertainment Television has
announced that Joan and Melissa
Rivers will not be hosting their
annuel pre-Emmy bash when the
awards show airs this Sunday. TV
Guide reports that this is due to the
September 11 attack on the World
Trade Center. How this relates was
not discussed. The pre-show will
have more of an entertainment
news feel, similar to the network's
"E News Daily."
BUFFY COMES UP HUGE -
Despite the stigma associated with
switching networks, "Buffy the
Vampire Slayer" brought with it
the biggest ratings ever for a UPN
program. Zap2it.com reports that
the first new episode of "Buffy" to
air on UPN pulled in nearly 7.7
million viewers, the second highest
ratings in the show's history.
SHARON STONE HOSPITALIZED -
USA Today reports that actress
Sharon Stone was hospitalized last
weekend for what was believed to
be a tiny aneurysm. Sunday and
Monday'evealed bleeding around the
brain in the form of a subarachnoit
hemorrhage. She is still in a San
Francisco hospital, and the hemor-
rhage's cause has not yet been deter-
J.LO GETS WANG - Director
Wayne Wang ("The Joy Luck Club,"
"The Center of the World") Chas
signed on to helm "Chambermaid," a
new romantic comedy set to star Jen-
nifer Lopez as a chambermaid in a
fancy hotel who falls in love with a
prince. Zap2it.com reports that the
Lopez character suddenly quits, and
the prince must then pursue her. The
screenplay was written by John
Hughes ("Home Alone").
LOVE SUES NIRVANA -
Actress/Singer and widow of Nir-
vana frontman Kurt Cobain filed a
lawsuit last week against Geffen
Records, Universal Music Group,
Nirvana LLC, and surviving. Nirvana
members Krist Novoselic and Dave
Grohl. Rolling Stone reports that
Love wants all rights fyom Nirvana
to be reverted to her.
SPACEY SINGS, LENNON
REMEMBERED- The stars came out
Tuesday night to honor the late John
Lennon, TV Guide reports. Wife
Yoko Ono, Dave Matthews, Cyndi
Lauper, Sean Lennon, Lou Reed and
Alanis Morisette came out to cele-
brate what would have been
Lennon's 61st brithday. When origi-
nally planned, the event was intend-
ed to raise money for gun control,
but with the recent terrorist attacks,
the money will now be split between
gun control and relief efforts in New
York. The biggest surprise of the
night was host Kevin Spacey's rendi-
tion of Lennon's "Mind Games."
'PULP' WRITER TAPS ELLIS -
Screenwriter/director Roger Avary,
who won an Oscar for co-writting
Bad boy Van Der Beek as a brat? Nahl
the "Pulp Fiction" script with
Quentin Tarantino is writing and
directing "The Rules of Attraction"
based on the'novel by "American
Psycho" scribe Bret Easton Ellis.
Entertainment Weekley reports.
The film, to star James Van Der
Beek as a spoiled rich college kid.
THE WONG GOODBYE- Char-
acter actor Victor Wong passed
away last month, Aint-it-cool-news
reported. The actor was best
known for his role as the grandfa-
ther in the "Three Ninjas" series
and as magic-master Egg Shen in
"Big Trouble in Little China." He
will be less remembered for the
1990 film "Life is Cheap But Toi-
let-Paper is Expensive.
DID You KNOW
In "Boogie Nights" Buck Swope
(Don Cheadle) mentions a
"TK421" modification for a stereo
unit. TK421 is the serial number of
the storm trooper from whom Luke
Skywalker stole a uniform so he
could blend in at the Death Star
and save Princess Leia.
"ONE OF THE YEAR'S BEST MOVIES,"
Jack Mathews, NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
"DON'T DUCK THIS ONE, IT'S A WINNER."
Peter Travers, ROLLING STONE
"THE MOST CONVULSIVELY FUNNY
MOVIE OF THE SUMMER."
Joe Baltake, SACRAMENTO BEE
"THE MOST ENJOYABLE MOVIE OF THE YEAR."
David Edelstein, SLATE
"ONE OF THE "DO NOT MISS
FINEST FILMS OF #. THIS MOVIE."
THE YEAR." Jeffrey Anderson,
Andrew Johnston, US WEEKLY SAN FRANCISCO EXAMINER
"BEST MOVIE "THE SORT OF
OF THE YEAR!" MOVIE PEOPLE GO
Bruce Newman, .1J7 'fTO SEE TWICE."
SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS Liz Braun, TORONTO SUN
Glenn Kenny, PREMIERE Roger Ebert, CHICAGO SUN-TIMES
WINNER BEST ACTRESS
SEATTLE INTERNATIONAL RILM FESTIVAL