4A - The Michigan Daily - Friday, September 27, 2001
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How can God bless
America when we fight
prayer in schools? How
can some say that we are
not being punished and
that God does not work
this way? Why did God
cause the flood, and why
did God destroy Sodom
and Gomorrah? Why did
he save Joseph and
Moses? You be the judge."
- Louise Van Aller of Zeeland, MI, in a letter
to the editor in yesterday's Grand Rapids Press.
Moving on, this column is good
STEVEN KYRITZ YES, THAT Is SARCASM
s this week's col-
I made myself a
promise. I promised that I
would not talk about IT.
You know what I'm talk-
ing about. IT happened,
and ever since then, IT
has dominated the media,
and IT has dominated conversation and now
it is time for me to move on. At the same
time, though, IT has brought the general
mood of the country and the campus down
somewhat. That being the case, I figured I'd
focus on the happy things, the positives. So
without further ado, I present to you the good
things in life.
First and foremost, the Yankees are good.
In fact, they're really good. Say what you
will about "the Mariners this," or "Barry
Bonds that;" I'll still take the Bronx
Bombers. As some people (usually winners,
like the Yankees) have been known to say, it
don't mean a thing if you ain't got that ring.
And last time I checked, Joe Torre, Derek
Jeter and company had wracked up three in a
row, and four out of five. It's like I've been
saying ever since IT happened: Everything
will be back to normal once the Yankees win
the World Series. Which they will.
Grilled cheese night at the dorm cafete-
rias is good.
Drinking for charity is good. Two Satur-
days ago, a group of three students decided
to turn their pre-party into a fund raising
event. You may have seen them; they were
the guys on State Street offering to pound a
beer or do a keg stand in exchange for a one
dollar contribution to charity. By the time
they stopped, their number had swelled to
almost 20 volunteers, including your humble
narrator. In sum, over $500 was raised for an
organization that (out of respect for its desire
not to be linked to binge drinking) I'll call
the Crimson Plus sign. So thank you to Marc,
Chris and Eric for creating something good,
and to Dave, for donating 10 pizzas for the
Transition sentences to link paragraphs
are good. Usually.
Heat is good. Trust me; my apartment has
none. And similarly, autumn is good. The
state of Michigan should look into it, instead
of going directly from summer to winter.
Live bands at the Blind Pig are good. I
just saw my first show there, and I gotta tell
you, it was a lot of fun. Not only that, but I
got to see Oblivion, a local band that defi-
nitely has big things in its future.
Shameless plugs are good.
HBO's miniseries Band of Brothers is
good. Really good. I'd even go so far as to say
it's Yankees good. Have you watched it? It's
like an hour-long episode of Saving Private
Ryan every week. I strongly, strongly recom-
mend you watch it. Don't have HBO? I'll tell
you what; you can come watch it at my place.
The fact that you don't know where I live
Jesse Helms retiring from the Senate is
good. OK, so maybe if you're a Republican
you don't think so. But seriously, it sure as
hell isn't bad.
Free speech is good. See, you thought all
that us communication majors did was watch
television and write about it, but we study
lots of fascinating concepts relating to com-
munications. And as a "journalist," I have
truly grown to appreciate free speech. How
great is it? As long as you don't wrongfully
incite, impugn or defame, you are Constitu-
tionally allowed to say whatever you want,
no matter how big of an assbag you may be.
Taking slang from television and movies
and incorporating it into your vocabulary is
This year's modified fraternity rush is
good. In the past, rush consisted of every fra-
ternity opening their doors for four hours a
night (six on Sunday), from Sunday to Thurs-
day, and chatting with potential members.
Period. That was it. Now, fraternities have
been given the option of arranging different
events on different nights, ranging from a trip
to a Tigers game to poker night and Monday
Big screen televisions are good.
Going to a quality institution of higher
education like Michigan State is good.
Going to Michigan is better.
Mercifully ending a gimmicky column
before it gets really dumb is good.
Steven Kyritz can be reached
via e-mail at email@example.com.
Y LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
toward killing civilians
should anger all
TO THE DAILY:
I feel that I must respond to Jeremy
Segall's letter to the Daily ("Death of for-
eign civilians acceptable," 9/26/01). In it he
makes the statement "If we kill their civil-
ians, who cares? They certainly don't care
I found this statement deeply disturbing
and I am sure I am not the only one. I hope
that there are many who find that statement
disturbing. Many of us in the U.S. have
been caught up in the fever of unquestion-
ing patriotism. We are all horrified at the
terrorists acts in New York and Washing-
ton, D.C. but we must not subscribe to what
I for one do care if we kill "their" civil-
ians. As action against terrorism is
inevitable we should all care about the
innocents who will die as a result. If we do
not, I wonder about what our society has
become. Is only American life sacred?
Whether we support military retaliation or
not, we should be united in caring about
innocents who might die as the results of
our nation's actions.
In Iraq, millions of innocent people
have died in the last decade as a result of
U.S.-led sanctions. Putting aside your
beliefs whether this was even necessary, I
hope you can all agree that we should all
care about the deaths of hundreds of thou-
sands of innocent children.
There has been and will be a lot of igno-
rance in much of what is said in what we as
American's should do in the name of patri-
otism and unity. There are some who will
call others traitors for simply voicing their
disagreement of our government's actions.
Be patient, do your
part to make Football
Saturday safe for all
To THE DAILY:
The tragic events of earlier this month
changed our world, even in Ann Arbor. For
instance, many people noticed an increased
security presence at the Michigan football
game last Saturday. We received many com-
pliments from our fans about the manner in
which the people conducting security opera-
tions performed their job.
We want to thank all of our fans for their
support and patience for these enhanced secu-
rity provisions. You are truly the best!
The increased security will continue, and
we will continue to improve both the security
and the manner in which it is implemented.
Many security precautions we are encour-
aging on campus, also apply at the games. Be
aware of your surroundings and of others
around you. Immediately report any suspi-
cious packages, persons or vehicles in and
around the stadium. If you normally consume
alcohol before the game, moderate your con-
sumption to increase the likelihood you will
notice suspicious behavior.
Arrive early to Michigan Stadium. To
minimize the time it takes to enter the stadi-
um, do not bring unnecessary items, bags or
Have those items you do bring opened and
ready for inspection. Have your ticket ready,
and keep the ticket stub available throughout
Finally, enjoy the game. Respect the other
team, their fans and players, and all others in
the Stadium - as you did so enthusiastically
Help make the Big House a place of great
pride for all of us. Go Blue!
Martin is director of the Michigan
Athletic Department. Bess is director
of the Department of Public Safety.
Hey BAMN, you're 'a
big radical joke.' BAM!
TO THE DAILY:
To the people of BAMN,
I enjoy your acronym. BAMN! It is quite
similar to the term used by Emeril Lagassi
during his cooking shows. BAM! I always
get a good laugh out of that whenever I hear
An Afghan woman washes her hands at
a refugee camp in Peshwar, Pakistan.
Like many refugees, she fled her country
fearing U.S. military attacks.
I hope all of us remember to have an open
mind and see different sides of the argu-
Whatever happens, please, please do not
stop caring about the taking of any innocent
lives. Justice will not be done if we stop
caring and we certainly will not be honor-
ing the innocents who died on Sept. 11.
Don't paint those
who support peace
TO THE DAILY:
Before accusing every poor peace loving
beatnik of anti-patriotism, perhaps Daniel
Mitzner ("Anti-war sentiment is completely
.*.,-. " tr 1 /A/11 ni r li at
besides those patriots who called in death
threats to Rep. Barbara Lee (D-Calif.), the
sole dissenting vote against war in the House.
I could not fathom such a thing happening in
the United States. How should freedom of
speech work differently when we don't agree
with the opinion being voiced? Do we claim
it is anti-patriotic or treasonous because it's
outside the consensus?
There is no doubt that America suffered a
horrendous tragedy at the hands of crazed