14B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. Magazine - Thursday, September 27, 2001
A weekly guide tonwho's Thursday, September 27
why you need tobe there ... h e L is t Wednesday, October 3
The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. Magazine
Underage drinkers face the conseq
Zoolander Yeah, so maybe the movie is
going to "suck," but Stiller and Ferell
will give us a few laughs. At Showcase:
1:00, 1:30, 3:10, 3:40, 5:10, 5:40,.
7:15, 7:45, 9:15, 9:45, 11:15 (Fri. and
Sat.),11:45 (Fri. and Sat.).
Hearts In Atlantis So when the hell is
the next "DarksTower" book coming
out? At Showcase: 12:15, 12:45, 2:30,
3:00, 4:45, 5:15,
9:20,9:50, 11;30 (Fri.
(Fri. and Sat.).
and Sat.) 12:00
Don't Say a Word Mikey, "Traffic" and
"Wonder Boys" ruled. Don't give us
another "Ghost and the Darkness,"
please. Showcase: 12:00, 2:25, 5:00,
7:25, 9:55, 12:15 (Fri. and Sat.).
. ' .
American Pie 2 Jason, Corey
Feldman is rolling in his grave. At
Showcase: 1:10, 3:25, 5:45, 8:05,
10:15, 12:25 (Fri. and Sat.).
The Glass House We are the music
makers, and we are the dreamers of
dreams. At Showcase: 12:25, 2:40,
4:50, 7:05, 9:25, 11:25 (Fri. and
Glitter Wow, I wasn't expecting to
have to write another joke for this
atrocity. At Showcase: 12:00, 2:10,
4:30, 6:45, 9:00, 11:05 (Fri. and
Hardball Keanu is going to be taking
a walk in the clouds till sweet
Novembernwhen I put my foot in his
ass. At Showcase: 12:20, 12:50,
2:35, 3:05, 5:00, 5:30, 7:20, 7:50,
9:35, 10:05, 11:40 (Fri. and Sat.),
12:10 (Fri. and Sat.). D
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back What
the fuck is the Internet? At
Showcase:3:35, 5:45, 10:25, 12:25
(Fri. and Sat.). B+
Jeepers Creepers Welcome to
Lowest Common Denominator
Cinemas! At Showcase: 1:15, 3:30,
5:35, 8:10, 10:20, 12:20 (Fri. and
Jurassic Park 3 Ya gotta admit, that
pterodactyl was pretty cool. At
Showcase: 1:25, 8:15. C-
The Musketeer Justin Chambers,
however, is not. At Showcase:
12:10, 2:20, 4:35, 6:50, 9:05,
11:20 (Fri. and Sat.) C
0 Hey, Josh, we all saw Pearl Harbor.
Er, rather, we didn't. At Showcase:
1:35, 3:45, 5:50, 7:55, 10:10,
12:05 (Fri. and Sat.) 0
The Others My mom says I'm not
supposed to have chocolate. At
Showcase: 1:05, 3:15,5:25, 7:35,
9:40,11:50 (Fri. and Sat.)
The Princess Diaries Trust me, if you
think you haven't seen this movie,
you're wrong. At Showcase:1:40,
Rat Race Don't forget your history,
know your destiny. At Showcase:
12:30, 2:45, 5:05, 7:40, 10:00,
12:15 (Fri. and Sat.)
Rock Star Okay, now you're talking
above my head. I don't know all of
this industry jargon, YP, MP, etc. At
Showcase: 12:05, 2:15, 4:40, 6:55,
9:30, 11:35 (Fri. and Sat.) B
Rush Hour 2 Tucker has buffed up
since his days as Smokey. At
Showcase: 12:40, 2:50, 4:55,7:10,
9:10, 11:10 (Fri. and Sat.)
Two Can Play at That Game For the
love of God, let the game stop. At
Showcase: 1:20, 3:20, 5:20, 8:00,
8:30, 10:00, 10:30, 12:00 (Fri. and
Sat.) 12:30 (Fri. and Sat.) C-
For the Daily
Perhaps you've seen it while walking down
Hill Street after a Saturday night of reveling.
"Just keep walking and we'll be cool," your
friend says nervously as you try not to make
eye contact with the policeman writing up a
siren-lit college kid. And you're glad it's not
If you're looking for University students who
drink underage, you're not really in for much
of a challenge. If you want to find a student
who has gotten busted for drinking, be pre-
pared for proud storytellers boasting of close
encounters or maybe even capture. As you
exchange stories and try to one-up each other
while the laughter intensifies, ask them if you
can print it in the newspaper. Then expect to
see a face lose its zeal and color as they either
ask to be "super-anonymous" or reject the
Many students on campus feel that American
college-town culture coexists paradoxically
with the laws enforced on campus. Movies
such as "American Pie 2" display underage
drinking as the normal thing to do in college,
and parents sit down with their college bound
children and advised them "to be careful"
rather than to not drink.
Many students cite the European way of life
when trying to explain their conflicts with laws
against underage drinking. "There, it's not a
problem. Here, we forbid alcohol completely
until an arbitrary age," opines LSA freshman
Gabe Biber, who visited France over the sum-
Biber has not received a minor in Possession
violation, but he has been written up by his res-
ident hall advisor for possession of alcohol in a
substance free residence hall. After attending a
conflict resolution meeting with his hall direc-
tor, he was given a written warning. "If you say
you're sorry and aren't a jackass about it,
they're cool," says Biber. In reflection of his
reprimand he says, "Either you go by your own
rules or you wait until you're of age and go
crazy on your 21st birthday - it would make
more sense if people were eased into drinking."
Many out of state students are most taken
aback by the drinking laws enforced on cam-
pus. "I'm from NewYork and I'd never heard of
an MI. The most serious thing over there is
they (the police) call your parents," begins a
sophomore who wished to keep his name
anonymous. He recounts the astonishment he
felt when he received his first MIP after a
policeman on a bicycle started carding tail-
gaters before a University football game. He
says bitterly, "I think it's ridiculous." Being
stopped by the police while he was walking
home with friends from a party, the anonymous
sophomore was issued another MIP. This
instance, however, included handcuffing and
being taken away to a holding cell.
"It was pretty unnecessary. They never read
us our rights... my two friends had to kneel in
the snow for half an hour," he continues, "Just
because I got two MIPs doesn't mean I'm
going to stop drinking. I'm still going to drink
as often and as much. I'm just going to have to
be more careful about not getting caught."
The holding cell earlier described is better
known as a "drunk-tank" among students. An
anonymous LSA junior, who will be referred to
as "Tom" in this article, describes his experi-
ence with the drunk-tank as "the most humili-
Tom had returned to his dorm from a house
party and vomited in trashcans in the halls of
his West Quad residence hall.. After Tom
expelled more of his stomach's contents out a
window, his RA approached him in concern.
According to Tom, the RA called the Assistant
Hall director who suggested a call to the
Department of Public Safety. "It's clearly hyp-
ocritical that my RA would bust me after he
drank with me," says Tom.
When the authorities arrived to Tom's dorm,
he was given a breathalyzer. Although he did-
n't register on the test, Tom says the police
could tell that he had been drinking. He was
handcuffed and escorted out of his dorm to the
drunk-tank, where his shoes, watch, and Mardi
Gras beads were taken from him while he was
detained. "They thought I could commit sui-
cide with my shoelaces or something," explains
In the drunk-tank, Tom was handcuffed by
one hand to a rail and given a biohazard buck-
et in case he had to be sick. There, on a wood-
en bench with one arm hanging up, Tom wait-
ed approximately 6 hours until the DPS found
him sober enough to be released. "It's exces-
sive. I feel that if someone isn't in danger to
themselves or to others, they shouldn't be held
against their will," says Tom.
A fraternity house is one common place
where underage students drink. "There's defi-
nitely underage drinking at all these (fraternity
house) parties," admits a member of the Greek
system who wished to keep his identity and
fraternity anonymous. He continues, "It's the
organization's responsibility to realize that
'this person is under age and we're taking a
risk by letting them in here."' His friend adds,
"We're not looking for trouble... We walk,
Courtesy of Paramount
"They love me, they really love me!" Ben Stiller jumps for joy In "Zoolander."
Phone Numbers: Michigan Theater 668-8397; Quality 16 8272837; Showcase: 973-8380
Showtimes are effective Friday through Thursday. Matinee times at State Theater are
effective for Saturday and Sunday only.
Eternal Empire You were-once the
teacher. Now I am the master.
Michigan Theater. 7 p.m.
American Rhapsody (2001) Woooh!
Queen rules! Michigan Theater. 9 p.m.
Bread and Tulips (2000) Or, in Italian,
Pane e Tulipani. Gee, that sounds
much more elegant. State Theater. 7
& 9:15 p.m.
0 Well, I'll only be 82! (2001) State
Theater. 9:30 p.m.
The Deep End (2001) This is a light-
hearted comedy with a... no, wait.
Scratch that. State Theater. 7:15 p.m.
"Center for independent Living
Benefit" There will be blues, folk,
swing and rock, and it is all to pro-
mote the rights of people with disabil-
ities. The Ark 316 S. Main St., 8 p.m.
Martin, Medeski, and Wood There is a
joke to be made in the name Wood but
if you can't think of it yourself you
probably wouldn't find it funny if I said
it. These guys are talented either way.
Michigan Theater 603 E. Liberty St.,
7:30 p.m. $22 668-8463.
Jettison Red if we jettison red, can we
keep the blue and white? T.C.'s
Speakeasy, Ypsilanti 10:30 p.m. $3
"Chipslips." This Basement Arts pro-
duction creates a world in which
everyone's most important desires
are displayed on their bodies in the
form of representational icons.
Inspired by a University student's
struggle to lose 80 pounds. Arena
Theatre, Frieze Bldg. 8 p.m. Free. 764-.
"Taking Leave." This Performance
Network show, tells the story of a man
inflicted with Alzheimer's and his rela-
tionships with his three daughters.
Based on Shakespeare's "King Lear."
8 p.m. Performance Network, 120 E.
Huron. $20. 663-0681.
A LTERNA TI VES
"Getting Around Detroit: Detroit's,
Stleets from the Woodward plan to
Freeways." This exhibit, as part of
Detroit's tricentennial celebration,
features a series of books, maps, and
photographs of city planning in Detroit
from the 19th century through the
1960s. Bentley Historical Library,
1150 Beal. Free. 764-3482.
"Donald Sultan: The Smoke Rings."
This exhibit showcases the artist's
paintings, prints,and photographs of
cigarette smoke rings. U-M Museum
of Art, 525 S. State. Free. 764-0395.
"Albert Kahn: Inspiration for the
Modern." Kahn's influence on
Modernism is featured in this exhibit,
which includes both his own designs
of factories, theaters, and office build-
ings, and those of other artists such
as Diego Rivera. U-M Museum of Art,
525 S. State. Free. 764-0395.
Drum, 8 p.m. Free. 662-7407.
Divided We Fall (1980). Michigan
Theater. 7 & 9:30 p.m.
Apocalypse Now Redux You're an
errand boy, sent by grocery clerks to
collect a bill. Michigan Theater. 7:45
Greenfingers (2000) It's about gar-
deners; either that or James Bond
super-villains. State Theater: 7 & 9
The Princes and the Warrior (2000) In
a fight, I've got my money on the war-
rior. State Theater. 9:15 p.m.
The Deep End (2001) See Thursday.
State Theater. 7:15 p.m.
Mustard Plug If you like your ska
goofy then these guys really cut the
mustard. The Blind Pig 208 S. 1st St.,
10 p.m. $10 996-8555.
Debbie Fogell Fogelld?! Chelsea 8
p.m. Free 433-4226.
Soupy Sales Yes, the Soupy Sales.
Really. Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase
314 E. Liberty 7 p.m. and 9:30 p~m.
"Chipslips." See Thurs. 7 p.m. and.11
"Taking Leave." See Thurs. $25.
A LTERNA TI VES
"Getting Around Detroit." See Thurs.
"Donald Sultan: The Smoke Rings."
By Stacy Anderson
For the Daily
Jimmy John's is the beacon of light for hungry college students in
the late evening and early morning hours. This fine establishient cre-
ates delicious subs in record time fordecent prices - no wonder it's a
magnet for the intoxicated.
I walked into Jimmy John's on South U and the restaurant was over-
flowing with music. Signs along the wallsread, "If you're really a good
customer, you'd order more" and "aave your next wedding reception
at Jirmny John's.' And even in these frigid temperatures, the tables
were almost full at lam on a Monday night. That has to say something
But what really goes down inside Jimmy John's during nthe late. late
hours of the all-forsaken Friday and Saturday nights? According to
recent LSA graduate and Jimmy John's employee, John Fencyk,
"Everyone's drunk." Surprise surprise.
"People come in and eat before they go out and then roll back in
around 2:30, 3 am a little more belligerent" says Fencyk. "It's pretty
much constant people after midnight." And as we all know, a mix of
late hours, empty stomachs, and the Beast tends to ignite some unfor-
tunate expulsions from the body. "We get people puking in the bath-
rooms. There's no bathroom inside the Packard store,
so people come in, ask for a bathroom, and when we
tell them we don't have one, they go outside and piss
on the wall."
Plastic cups of beer left over from kegs all over cam-
pus end up lining the counter at Jimmy John's, and
some students even try and offer beer in exchange for
subs. The employees unfortunately decline (stress on
the unfortunately). Hey, if you had to make subs at 2
am on a Friday night, you'd be hurtin' too.
But thirsty employees aren't the biggest problem.
"Kids try and steal the signs off the walls, chips, cook-
ies" says Fencyk. C'mon Weekend readers, you all Jimmy John's is
know someone that's tried to scam a free sub. "I Tm, I,
uh, paid down there and 1, um, never, uh, got my sub.' Yeah, and you
didn't just do a 30-second kegstand either.
Fencyk paints the extraordinary story of an incident that occurred last
weekend when a youth tried to distract an. employee while his delin-
quent friend attempted to unplug and steal one of the huge neon signs
in the window. There is alsp the story of a sophomore went to Jimmy
John's on a late Saturday night after a party and an employee tried to
throw a tomato slice down her cleavage. Fencyk swore it wasn't him.
JimmyJohn's: Instant relief for
late night intoxication
a common latenight stop fo
So in the end, where d
and they need a haven w]
people who can't walk str
when they've been doing
away after 8 straight hour
light at the end of the tunn
ends, just waiting for you
Country Club. Just don't t
Weekend, etc. Editors: Matt Grandstaff, Jane Krull
Writers: Stacy Anderson, Rob Brode, Matt Herrnam, Will El-Nachef, Darren Ring
Photo Editors: Jessica Johnson, Marjorie Marshall.
Photographer: Danny Moloshok, Abby Rosenbaum.
Cover: David Rochkind
Arts Editors: Jennifer Fogel, Managing Editor, Robyn Melamed and Lyle Henretty,
Editor in Chief: Geoffrey Gagnon
Dave Dempsey Reads - Author reads
from his work of non-fiction about
good ol- Michigan and it's fight to con-
serve natural resources. Shaman